Lover's in the dark (part 8)
Title: Lover’s in the Dark
Author: krystalkatz
Rating: PG
Length: chaptered
Genre: Au,
Pairings: Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari, all of Arashi as brothers
Disclaimer: I only own the plot
Warnings: Incest,
A/N: Written for yumi_usagiwho kindly donated for the help_pilipinas auction xD
Jun continued to reassure Kazu, as gently as he could not, not caring about his brothers as he kissed his forehead, and then the tears on his cheeks before bringing his lips down onto Kazu’s. Kazu responded to the kiss quickly, it only lasted long enough for their breaths to intermingle lightly, before he whispered against his lips “I promise I’m here” until Kazu’s body completely relaxed. Kazu nuzzled into his neck still holding him tightly, before turning to glare at the others. Jun slowly lifted his gaze to look at them terrified of what he was going to see in their eyes. They weren’t as bad as he thought though they did look a bit shocked, and Satoshi gave a cough touching Kazu’s shoulder
“Kazu…” He said softly and Kazu shrugged him off pressing his body closer to Jun’s
“Jun’s mine” Kazu said in a firm clear tone, surprising everybody except Jun, who was too busy trying not to grin at that statement, he had never heard Kazu’s thoughts on it before, in seven years he had always thought that Kazu was just going along with it because Jun wanted him to, as always Satoshi recovered first
“Kazu… Kazu you have to understand, this… You and Jun… It’s not right…” He said carefully and Kazu glared at him,
“I’m not an idiot” He said, Jun knew he was trying to keep his voice as ‘normal’ as possible, to sound as clear and determined as he could. It was strange hearing Kazu talk like that, “But J, belongs to me and I belong to J”
“Kazu…” Sho started now but was over rode by his twin
“You’re brothers, you have to realise that”
“I know…” Kazu whispered, his voice failing again now “Bu-t… I lo-ve J” he said his cheeks flushing hotly, “I’v-e alw-ays… Loved J… I hat-e acti-ng… like I don’t…”
“Kazu…” Jun said his own eye prickling and Kazu looked at him, with a smile. Jun wanted to ask why, if he loved him, why he cried in the middle of the night, but he thought he knew now, it was because the other brothers were just as important to him, every time he cried it was after he had talked to Satoshi. Satoshi gave another cough, rubbing his forehead, Jun was expecting him to say something like ‘I don’t care, you’re just confused, this isn’t right…’ but instead he said
“I see, and Jun?” in his normal calm and steady voice holding up his hand to stop Sho and Masaki from interrupting.
“I love him too…” Jun said quickly and then realised that it was the first time he had ever said that out loud, Kazu gave a small gasp and looked at him sharply surprise in his eyes
“Yo-u…do?” He asked his voice sounding almost disbelieving.
“Baka, of course I do” Jun sighed pressing their foreheads together, and holding his hand, linking their fingers tightly “I love you so much…”
“This is so messed up” Masaki said and Jun snapped his head up his eyes flashing.
“Don’t you think I know that? I’ve hated myself for years for what I feel about him… But I can’t stop I love Kazu, I need him, Kazu belongs to me nobody else is allowed to have him”
“You sound obsessed with him” Sho sighed in an almost defeated why, that surprised Jun and it seemed Masaki who looked at him sharply,
“Aniki?” Jun said Sho sighed with a shrug looking at Satoshi,
“Where you live, in your apartment… What do they know you as?”
“Lovers” Jun whispered “I use the last name Matsumoto, as in Matsumoto castle” he said which confused the others but made Kazu smile. Kazu had picked the name after seeing a picture of the castle when they had been on their graduation trip. Satoshi nodded looking thoughtful.
“So that’s why you don’t want us to visit you” he said and Jun gave a quick nod, feeling guilty looking away from his brothers again looking at his and Kazu’s joined hands praying that they wouldn’t separate them
“Yes” He answered softly, and Satoshi grabbed Kazu by the shoulders pulling him around and looking into his eyes,
“Kazu, tell me the truth, do you want… Do you want this?” He asked
“Yes” Kazu said clearly nodding. Satoshi nodded with a sigh
“Then… We can’t judge you” He said looking at Sho and Masaki whose eyes were wide with shock
“Wh-at?” They choked out together.
“They’ve been together for 7 years” Satoshi said calmly “It hasn’t changed them from being our brothers”
“What but Nii-chan…” Masaki started and Satoshi held up his hand and Sho grabbed his arm shaking his head, seeming to agree with Satoshi. Jun’s mouth fell open as he looked at him,
“Nii-chan?” He said his voice barely above a whisper,
“I don’t know how to handle this, but…”
“We have to tell mum and dad” Masaki said quickly
“And how would that go? You would just end up upsetting them and Jun and Kazu for something that they have been doing for 7 years” Sho told his twin “Before you knew did it bother you?”
“B-But, Kazu he doesn’t understand…”
“I d-o, I do… und-erst-and” Kazu protested quickly, his arms tightening even tighter around Jun that he was almost choking him. Masaki looked almost pleadingly at Sho, trying to find some support, but Sho shook his head slowly.
“They’re still Jun and Kazu” Sho told him softly, trying to persuade him to calm down Masaki jumped to his feet,
“They’re not normal” He snapped “They’re brothers…”
“M-Masa-nii” Kazu said shakily, his whole body shaking against Jun, Sho and Satoshi tried to calm him down but he turned on his heel and ran up the stairs his bedroom door slamming closed
“I’ll talk to him later” Sho said softly “He’ll calm down” Jun doubted it but he was choked up that Satoshi and Sho were trying to support them. Kazu was looking wordlessly at them to tears forming in his eyes. Satoshi smiled and hugged them both, and Sho pulled Kazu into a hug just as their mum came home.
“Is everything okay?” She asked looking worried, like she did when Kazu had one of his turns, everybody nodded quickly and she looked completely relieved. A few minutes later Sho vanished upstairs going into his and Masaki’s bedroom. Jun heard them having a muffled argument and noticed that Kazu was rocking just slightly, his fists clenching by his sides hitting his legs. He went and grabbed their coats
“Come on Kazu, let’s go for a walk” He said and Satoshi smiled almost approvingly. Kazu pulled his coat on and followed him out. They walked to their spot as sat watching the river move almost slowly past. Jun held his hand and tugged him into a hug. “Sorry, that I didn’t tell you that I loved you before them”
“I… I kn-ew… I alw-ays kne-w… J, love-d… Me” Kazu said with a smile, and Jun laughed
“I’m glad” He said leaning against the tree, breathing in the warm scent of Kazu’s hair, praying that Masaki would come around to it.
3 years ago,
Jun smiled at Kazu as they collected their graduation papers, everybody was surprised that Kazu had been able to graduate with the rest of the class, but that was because Jun had spent every waking moment with him studying for the exams. Everybody knew the chances of Kazu getting into college were slim to none, but Jun was determined that he would finish school and take the exams. Jun had already gotten a place at a college near the house so that he didn’t have to move away like Masaki and Sho had done. Satoshi had forgone going to college and had started work, but Sho had gotten in on a full scholarship and by some miracle Masaki had managed a half scholarship. Jun knew that paying just half of the expensive fees of the college that Sho and Masaki were in, so he had used that as an excuse not to even take the entrance exams, but the truth was he didn’t want Kazu to think he had chosen to abandon him. For four years they had been together kissing and sometimes making love when they could, there hadn’t been many chances until Masaki and Sho had left, with them gone there were a few more opportunities to be alone but they were few and far between and Jun had to stop himself from leaving too many obvious marks on Kazu’s skin, but he had something special planned for them, his parents had asked him what they wanted for a graduation present and Jun has asked if they would give them some money for a trip. To his great delight hey had agreed, Satoshi had even offered to give them some money for it. Jun was positive that Kazu was excited when he told him but sometimes it was hard to tell, they were leaving that night so after a small party that Masaki and Sho had come home for they were being waved off on a train. They went just far enough so nobody knew them, and for the first time in their lives they were allowed to act like a proper couple in public.
TBC
A/N: The next part will be mostly a flash back of their holiday… I hope your liking it ^.^