Tin Man (2/4)

Jan 07, 2011 19:43

Chapter Two )

fic-sga, fic-sga:tin man

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Comments 14

valleya January 8 2011, 07:19:18 UTC
Wow. I don't know where you're going with this, but I'm loving it. The characters' interactions are so true and it's an intelligent progression in seeking a diagnosis. I'm really enjoying this.

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kristen999 January 10 2011, 01:23:15 UTC
Thank you. I was really worried by the pace of this..if everyone would give up..lol. But my recipient wanted a twisty, clever plot and I did my best to provide the mystery.

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sholio January 8 2011, 10:21:22 UTC
This is so full of PLOT! I love it! I'm having so much fun trying to guess where it's headed and then being thwarted at each new twist and turn. (I do have a current working hypothesis, but who knows if I'm right?)

“How did this happen?”

“Ronon clobbered me.”

Hee! I'm sure she hears that a lot.

“I've ruled out the parasite you were infected with and Kirsan Fever, including any variations that we know of,” Jennifer reassured him. ... and wow, it's easy sometimes to forget how many things have happened to their brains over the years ( ... )

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2bluaeryn January 8 2011, 20:19:35 UTC
WOW...like, really WOW!!!

This is like watching one of the best SGA eps EVER!

Off to the next chapter.

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kristen999 January 10 2011, 01:26:34 UTC
Thank you! *flails*

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kristen999 January 10 2011, 01:26:19 UTC
*wipes brow*

This story felt *heavy* to me, but I knew you enjoyed plotty stories and I really enjoy writing them. I was constantly afraid it was 'too slow', but this needed a slow boil and a lot of team interaction. It was actually a ton of fun to write.

Jennifer and Rodney are together yes, and I wanted to show that in subtle ways, without hitting anyone over the head about it.

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tridget January 10 2011, 16:57:25 UTC
Wonderfully well done. Lots of information and story turns written in a way that just flows. The details are excellent too, such as what it is like to have to sleep with all those leads attached to your head. The difference between knowledge and meta-knowledge was right on target as was the fear and frustration associated with knowing that something is missing. John's growing irritability and aggressive mood built nicely until the climactic scene at the gate. And I loved the fact of Ronon being on top of that at the signing. It was a good combination of crisis on Atlantis set against the regular day to day issues, too.

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kristen999 January 12 2011, 04:35:17 UTC
Thank you. I couldn't imagine being forced to sleep with all that monitoring equipment. Sketching mood swings for one John Sheppard is a tricky thing to do without it being too over the top. John's growing irritability was a red alert for Ronon and I'm glad he was there to catch--too bad the raiders showed up :-P

Hope you enjoy the rest!

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tepring January 18 2011, 04:02:00 UTC
Rodney and John's scenes here steal the show. I have always wanted to read or write a reversal of The Shrine and I almost giggled when I figured out that you were, in part, going there!

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kristen999 January 19 2011, 01:53:45 UTC
You win the prize! I've always wanted to write a reversal of The Shrine as well, but something more fitting to Sheppard and not an AU fork in the road. This presented me with the opportunity to do so. :D

Although, I'd love to read your version!

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vecturist January 21 2011, 23:09:35 UTC
So I finally have a bit of downtime to read and am loving this. I love the team throwing themselves into the research and Sheppard's despair is heart-breaking.

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kristen999 January 22 2011, 03:27:36 UTC
Glad you've had a chance to sit down and read this. You were very helpful in making this 'work' in my brain and I look forward to hearing what you thought when you're done.

Thank you again!! You were a key to this.

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