Well that bombed

[krings_keep]

THis year I had hoped to have a T-Day diner at home with people I wanted to be with

Comments

[krings_keep]

some of the trigger(s) was/ were poor communication, some was touchy tempers, some was prickly egos and a good helping of feeling like the victim instead of trying to communicate

[wouldyoueva]

Sometimes...hell, a lot of the time...when three people interact they sort themselves into the roles of "hero" "victim" and "villain." It's all unconscious, and people point at superficial things to set it off, but usually there's a deeper problem that should be addressed. From what you write, I don't know if that's what's going on, but I suggest it as maybe you and the two others have gotten locked into those roles.

I guess you already know about stating your needs using "I" statements so I won't repeat it. But I am sympathetic to looking forward to a low-key relaxed dinner that falls apart, having been there before.

And the people who can push your buttons are usually the ones that sewed them on in the first place.

[krings_keep]

unfortunately when I use I statements - the 2 others get all upset talking about how i am being selfish and non-understanding

darned if you do, darned if you don't
SIGH

[diablu]

Hug!

[krings_keep]

Thank you -- all hugs accepted cheerefully

especially from handsome men

[greene_man]

More *hugs*

[krings_keep]

thank you also --

I am feeling tingly from all the handsome men hugging me