fic (sort of): Let's Do Everything For the First Time Forever
Title: Let's Do Everything For the First Time Forever (50 30 Sentences With No Continuity)
Author: pulaski_casimir
Rating: R, you know why
Summary: 50 30 prompts, 1 sentence each
Notes: This was written mostly because of the people who encouraged me to release all my Kradam-induced energy via fic (you know who you are!), but also because this week has been amazing for them AND I MEAN JESUS H CHRIST HOW DO THEY EXPECT MY BRAIN TO HANDLE THIS MUCH KRADAMFABULOSITY WITHOUT IT EXPLODING INTO FIC. It features some serious/fluffy/angsty/smutty bits and a lot of total crack, plus bonus cameos by Allison, Alexis, and Anoop and fun at the expense of Gokey and Sarver. Also, Adam, if you're reading this (I know you totally are)... stay fierce, bb, & give Kristopher a hug for me.
Title is from the eponymous song by Of Motreal.
Comments with the numbers of your favorite sentences would be greatly appreciated because I am a whore like that XD
[ oo1 - soft ]
Kris has always been taught that men should be rough, should carry heavy things and wear scratchy denim and have calluses between their fingers and palms; the first time he feels Adam's hands on his skin, he is so completely lost in how perfectly soft and smooth his touch is that he almost forgets to laugh when Adam cocks up an eyebrow and says, "Psh-yeah, bitch, I exfoliate."
[ oo2 - kiss ]
"I've never kissed a guy before," Kris says, sounding like a mixture of elated and slightly queasy, testing his lips with his fingertips as if somehow expecting to feel the tiny craters of Adam's freckles there; Adam softens, flicks his thumb across Kris's chin, and he says hoarsely, "If it helps, I've never kissed anybody like that in my life."
[ oo3 - name ]
"It's not like it matters," Adam says, chipping away at the nail polish on his thumb, but Kris presses Adam's shoulders into the bed and touches the tips of their noses together and insists, "Come on, Adam, admit it, Lambert-Allen sounds way better than Allen-Lambert."
[ oo4 - market ]
When Kris's album drops, I stop in every store I run across to take all of his CDs out of their assigned place on the rack and move them out front to the featured section on the outside of the aisle; I never tell him, because I know he'll take the piss out of me for it-that is, until I run into him in a West Hollywood Barnes & Noble, doing the same thing for mine.
[ oo5 - rain ]
It takes him a good minute to get the words out of his mouth, but finally the muddy river banks of Kris's sputtering consonants give way and out floods I think I might be kind of really a lot in love with you.
[ oo6 - chocolate ]
I know that Scott is blind and all, but somehow it still seems wrong that Adam should use the moment that Scott is scouring the kitchen for chocolate cake as an opportunity to grope me against the refrigerator.
[ oo7 - telephone ]
I try not to, I really do, but I just can't stop myself from listening to Kris's conversations with his wife every night on the other side of the bathroom door, and I save his tiny sounds of affection and catalogue them and tuck them up on a high shelf in my mind, bookended by the things I've always wanted and the things I know I'll never have; sometimes I take them down with unsteady fingers and unfold them and play them back with my name dubbed in, and I don't even try to pretend that it isn't the most goddamn fucking pathetic thing in the world.
[ oo8 - technology ]
"This is a bad idea, Adam," Kris says, but his chin is still perched on Adam's shoulder, and he's given up on trying to snatch the laptop out of Adam's grasp, "what if fanfiction me is better in bed than real me?"
[ oo9 - celebration ]
You’re laughing in my ear, the sound of raw hunger caught in the sweet swale between decadence and giddiness, and your nose is buried in my hair, and Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I can’t think, I can’t breathe, and I am loving every moment, every dizzy, electric moment.
[ o10 - moon ]
"Okay, good, I hope you're amused," Kris rolls his eyes, banging his fist on the bus window, "now pull up your pants and let me in," to which Adam says, "Oh, honey, you've got that all kinds of backwards."
[ o11 - holiday ]
It's been years since the hometown visit, but the eighth of every May, Adam still shows up bright and early at Kris's house and drags him to the car and takes him out for cheese dip and iced tea and a little heavy petting in honor of Kris Allen Day.
[ o12 - karaoke ]
"Come on, Anoop, please?" Kris is practically begging me, but there's no way they're talking me into this again-last time I went out to the karaoke bar with the two of them, Adam picked "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart" for them to sing together and I wound up sitting there for an hour with an increasingly stale beer while they argued over who should be Kiki Dee and who should be Elton John.
[ o13 - coat ]
Kris practically has to shove his whole fist in his mouth to keep from laughing; he knows Adam must have been the one who switched out their jackets, because Kris is standing in the wings draped in a metric ton of blazer and watching Sarver wobble around onstage while crammed into a miniscule dinner jacket, and all he can hear is Adam's voice behind him singing "fat guy in a little coat..." *
[ o14 - confusion ]
I can't be sure, but something about the strange new buzz that ignites the crowd tells me that maybe I should have made sure my microphone was off backstage before I buried my hands in the back pockets of your jeans and said, indiscreetly, "Kristopher Allen, as soon as this show is over, I am going to sex you stupid."
[ o15 - life ]
"There's a whole nother life for us out there somewhere," Kris drawls (that third beer's starting to to settle in now), "just you wait; One day we're gonna get a little house with dogs and a yard and a stand-up piano-you and me, Lambert, we're gonna be the two happiest queer bastards in the world."
[ o16 - sun ]
You kick off finale week-and our last day in the mansion-with naked sunbathing, because "it’s beautiful outside, and nobody else is here, and also, I like watching you get all wound up," you tell me; I shoot back a jibe that involves the words "pasty ass," and you counter with, "bitch, please, I am a bronze goddess," and if that isn't my cue to jump on your chest and pull off your sunglasses and fill my mouth with the taste of sunscreen, I don't know what is.
[ o17 - command ]
All his life, Adam has never, ever liked being told what to do, but when Kris grabs him by his necktie right before they go onstage for the final results and whispers urgently, "oh my gosh, Adam, kiss me before I pass out," Adam really doesn't mind obliging.
[ o18 - secret ]
There's something that's always niggling at me when Adam fits his hand into the small of my back, and I know that it must be the same thing I've always kept locked up tightly, the tiny, secret cuts on my paper doll lifestyle, the late nights when I could see the spaces between my heart and the home I had built for it-spaces made of soft breaths and heavy lamplight and shoulders that never quite fit into the grooves of the mattress.
[ o19 - bad ]
"I like the top," Adam says, all matter-of-fact, sly, like James Dean in eyeliner and a fabulous white leather jacket, and I can't help but laugh, but by the time he's laughing into the crook of my knee, I'm already so lost in thought-knuckles, pillows, zippers-that I have to shake myself back to reality to answer the next question.
[ o20 - hell ]
Kris knows his bible and he's afraid that there may be a small chance he could go to hell for this, but his mouth is full of Adam's shoulder, and black-tipped fingers are hooking under his knees and hitching them up, and somehow he thinks it'll be alright if hellfire feels anything like the heat of Adam's stomach against the back of his thighs.
[ o21 - protect ]
The words (something about "second-place" and "what you deserved" and "faggot") hang in the air shrill and jagged, like disparate bell tones in a minor key; that smug asshole is watching for Adam's reaction too closely to even anticipate the blow, and Adam is willing to bet that it's the very first time in his life Kris has ever punched somebody and meant it.
[ o22 - first ]
The first time I actually kiss Adam, it's all tiptoes and elbows tucked in and jangling nerves, and my lips don't go right, and I still haven't quite figured out where my hands should go or how to navigate the masculine angles of his face or what to make of the stubble chafing against my upper lip, but he smiles into my mouth and lifts me off of my feet, and I think that maybe this is something that I could be good at.
[ o23 - shoes ]
Kris kind of sees himself as a straight guy who makes just one huge exception, so he can't really explain why he's so very eager to plant a congratulatory kiss on Adam's cheek when the man beats both Alexis and Allison in a who-can-walk-in-the-highest-heels contest.
[ o24 - surprise ]
The look on the stage manager's face is priceless when I strike up the first couple of chords of "Falling Slowly" onstage in Little Rock and Adam sneaks in from stage left and settles down on the stool next to me and takes the high harmony.
[ o25 - closet ]
"Alright," Allison says smugly, leaning against the other side of the door, and Adam and I eye each other warily in the darkness, "I'll let you out when I hear a kiss," and suddenly the whole "closet" metaphor takes on a new meaning.
[ o26 - smile ]
It's that tiny, bemused smile that floats across your lips right after I kiss you that always makes me wish you didn't have to love me in secret, because I want the whole world to see how beautiful you are in that moment.
[ o27 - underpants ]
Kris has the most wonderfully expressive face I've ever seen; I've got each expression memorized, sorted, named-Bleary Early Morning Smile, Killer Performance Smirk, Fuck You Danny Gokey Grimace-so from what I can tell, the look on his face right now is a pretty obvious mixture of Really Turned-On and Oh Shit Here Comes My Wife and I Just Noticed That You're Not Wearing Any Underpants.
[ o28 - cute ]
You're always cute, Kris-the tiny frame, the crooked smile, the puppy-dog eyes, I'm used to it all-but for some reason, I just cannot get over how fucking adorable you are right now, flouncing around in that stupid cape. **
[ o29 - innocence ]
Danny had always thought that Kris was a nice, wholesome boy deep down, even if he did choose to associate with that ungodly friend of his-that was, until 3 AM on the bus ride between Cincinnati and Detroit, when he was the last one to fall asleep and had to spend an hour and a half trying to block out the sounds of a nice, wholesome boy being fucked six ways to Sunday in the bunk above his.
[ o30 - out ]
"Well, you know..." Kris says into the microphone, leveling his eyes with those of the interviewer before he runs his tongue under his bottom lip and thinks to himself oh, what the hell and concludes, just as nonchalantly as you please, "we're a couple."
* = reference to the movie Tommy Boy, I'm a loser
** = reference to Best Week Ever, go watch it if you haven't!
Author: pulaski_casimir
Rating: R, you know why
Summary: 50 30 prompts, 1 sentence each
Notes: This was written mostly because of the people who encouraged me to release all my Kradam-induced energy via fic (you know who you are!), but also because this week has been amazing for them AND I MEAN JESUS H CHRIST HOW DO THEY EXPECT MY BRAIN TO HANDLE THIS MUCH KRADAMFABULOSITY WITHOUT IT EXPLODING INTO FIC. It features some serious/fluffy/angsty/smutty bits and a lot of total crack, plus bonus cameos by Allison, Alexis, and Anoop and fun at the expense of Gokey and Sarver. Also, Adam, if you're reading this (I know you totally are)... stay fierce, bb, & give Kristopher a hug for me.
Title is from the eponymous song by Of Motreal.
Comments with the numbers of your favorite sentences would be greatly appreciated because I am a whore like that XD
[ oo1 - soft ]
Kris has always been taught that men should be rough, should carry heavy things and wear scratchy denim and have calluses between their fingers and palms; the first time he feels Adam's hands on his skin, he is so completely lost in how perfectly soft and smooth his touch is that he almost forgets to laugh when Adam cocks up an eyebrow and says, "Psh-yeah, bitch, I exfoliate."
[ oo2 - kiss ]
"I've never kissed a guy before," Kris says, sounding like a mixture of elated and slightly queasy, testing his lips with his fingertips as if somehow expecting to feel the tiny craters of Adam's freckles there; Adam softens, flicks his thumb across Kris's chin, and he says hoarsely, "If it helps, I've never kissed anybody like that in my life."
[ oo3 - name ]
"It's not like it matters," Adam says, chipping away at the nail polish on his thumb, but Kris presses Adam's shoulders into the bed and touches the tips of their noses together and insists, "Come on, Adam, admit it, Lambert-Allen sounds way better than Allen-Lambert."
[ oo4 - market ]
When Kris's album drops, I stop in every store I run across to take all of his CDs out of their assigned place on the rack and move them out front to the featured section on the outside of the aisle; I never tell him, because I know he'll take the piss out of me for it-that is, until I run into him in a West Hollywood Barnes & Noble, doing the same thing for mine.
[ oo5 - rain ]
It takes him a good minute to get the words out of his mouth, but finally the muddy river banks of Kris's sputtering consonants give way and out floods I think I might be kind of really a lot in love with you.
[ oo6 - chocolate ]
I know that Scott is blind and all, but somehow it still seems wrong that Adam should use the moment that Scott is scouring the kitchen for chocolate cake as an opportunity to grope me against the refrigerator.
[ oo7 - telephone ]
I try not to, I really do, but I just can't stop myself from listening to Kris's conversations with his wife every night on the other side of the bathroom door, and I save his tiny sounds of affection and catalogue them and tuck them up on a high shelf in my mind, bookended by the things I've always wanted and the things I know I'll never have; sometimes I take them down with unsteady fingers and unfold them and play them back with my name dubbed in, and I don't even try to pretend that it isn't the most goddamn fucking pathetic thing in the world.
[ oo8 - technology ]
"This is a bad idea, Adam," Kris says, but his chin is still perched on Adam's shoulder, and he's given up on trying to snatch the laptop out of Adam's grasp, "what if fanfiction me is better in bed than real me?"
[ oo9 - celebration ]
You’re laughing in my ear, the sound of raw hunger caught in the sweet swale between decadence and giddiness, and your nose is buried in my hair, and Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I can’t think, I can’t breathe, and I am loving every moment, every dizzy, electric moment.
[ o10 - moon ]
"Okay, good, I hope you're amused," Kris rolls his eyes, banging his fist on the bus window, "now pull up your pants and let me in," to which Adam says, "Oh, honey, you've got that all kinds of backwards."
[ o11 - holiday ]
It's been years since the hometown visit, but the eighth of every May, Adam still shows up bright and early at Kris's house and drags him to the car and takes him out for cheese dip and iced tea and a little heavy petting in honor of Kris Allen Day.
[ o12 - karaoke ]
"Come on, Anoop, please?" Kris is practically begging me, but there's no way they're talking me into this again-last time I went out to the karaoke bar with the two of them, Adam picked "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart" for them to sing together and I wound up sitting there for an hour with an increasingly stale beer while they argued over who should be Kiki Dee and who should be Elton John.
[ o13 - coat ]
Kris practically has to shove his whole fist in his mouth to keep from laughing; he knows Adam must have been the one who switched out their jackets, because Kris is standing in the wings draped in a metric ton of blazer and watching Sarver wobble around onstage while crammed into a miniscule dinner jacket, and all he can hear is Adam's voice behind him singing "fat guy in a little coat..." *
[ o14 - confusion ]
I can't be sure, but something about the strange new buzz that ignites the crowd tells me that maybe I should have made sure my microphone was off backstage before I buried my hands in the back pockets of your jeans and said, indiscreetly, "Kristopher Allen, as soon as this show is over, I am going to sex you stupid."
[ o15 - life ]
"There's a whole nother life for us out there somewhere," Kris drawls (that third beer's starting to to settle in now), "just you wait; One day we're gonna get a little house with dogs and a yard and a stand-up piano-you and me, Lambert, we're gonna be the two happiest queer bastards in the world."
[ o16 - sun ]
You kick off finale week-and our last day in the mansion-with naked sunbathing, because "it’s beautiful outside, and nobody else is here, and also, I like watching you get all wound up," you tell me; I shoot back a jibe that involves the words "pasty ass," and you counter with, "bitch, please, I am a bronze goddess," and if that isn't my cue to jump on your chest and pull off your sunglasses and fill my mouth with the taste of sunscreen, I don't know what is.
[ o17 - command ]
All his life, Adam has never, ever liked being told what to do, but when Kris grabs him by his necktie right before they go onstage for the final results and whispers urgently, "oh my gosh, Adam, kiss me before I pass out," Adam really doesn't mind obliging.
[ o18 - secret ]
There's something that's always niggling at me when Adam fits his hand into the small of my back, and I know that it must be the same thing I've always kept locked up tightly, the tiny, secret cuts on my paper doll lifestyle, the late nights when I could see the spaces between my heart and the home I had built for it-spaces made of soft breaths and heavy lamplight and shoulders that never quite fit into the grooves of the mattress.
[ o19 - bad ]
"I like the top," Adam says, all matter-of-fact, sly, like James Dean in eyeliner and a fabulous white leather jacket, and I can't help but laugh, but by the time he's laughing into the crook of my knee, I'm already so lost in thought-knuckles, pillows, zippers-that I have to shake myself back to reality to answer the next question.
[ o20 - hell ]
Kris knows his bible and he's afraid that there may be a small chance he could go to hell for this, but his mouth is full of Adam's shoulder, and black-tipped fingers are hooking under his knees and hitching them up, and somehow he thinks it'll be alright if hellfire feels anything like the heat of Adam's stomach against the back of his thighs.
[ o21 - protect ]
The words (something about "second-place" and "what you deserved" and "faggot") hang in the air shrill and jagged, like disparate bell tones in a minor key; that smug asshole is watching for Adam's reaction too closely to even anticipate the blow, and Adam is willing to bet that it's the very first time in his life Kris has ever punched somebody and meant it.
[ o22 - first ]
The first time I actually kiss Adam, it's all tiptoes and elbows tucked in and jangling nerves, and my lips don't go right, and I still haven't quite figured out where my hands should go or how to navigate the masculine angles of his face or what to make of the stubble chafing against my upper lip, but he smiles into my mouth and lifts me off of my feet, and I think that maybe this is something that I could be good at.
[ o23 - shoes ]
Kris kind of sees himself as a straight guy who makes just one huge exception, so he can't really explain why he's so very eager to plant a congratulatory kiss on Adam's cheek when the man beats both Alexis and Allison in a who-can-walk-in-the-highest-heels contest.
[ o24 - surprise ]
The look on the stage manager's face is priceless when I strike up the first couple of chords of "Falling Slowly" onstage in Little Rock and Adam sneaks in from stage left and settles down on the stool next to me and takes the high harmony.
[ o25 - closet ]
"Alright," Allison says smugly, leaning against the other side of the door, and Adam and I eye each other warily in the darkness, "I'll let you out when I hear a kiss," and suddenly the whole "closet" metaphor takes on a new meaning.
[ o26 - smile ]
It's that tiny, bemused smile that floats across your lips right after I kiss you that always makes me wish you didn't have to love me in secret, because I want the whole world to see how beautiful you are in that moment.
[ o27 - underpants ]
Kris has the most wonderfully expressive face I've ever seen; I've got each expression memorized, sorted, named-Bleary Early Morning Smile, Killer Performance Smirk, Fuck You Danny Gokey Grimace-so from what I can tell, the look on his face right now is a pretty obvious mixture of Really Turned-On and Oh Shit Here Comes My Wife and I Just Noticed That You're Not Wearing Any Underpants.
[ o28 - cute ]
You're always cute, Kris-the tiny frame, the crooked smile, the puppy-dog eyes, I'm used to it all-but for some reason, I just cannot get over how fucking adorable you are right now, flouncing around in that stupid cape. **
[ o29 - innocence ]
Danny had always thought that Kris was a nice, wholesome boy deep down, even if he did choose to associate with that ungodly friend of his-that was, until 3 AM on the bus ride between Cincinnati and Detroit, when he was the last one to fall asleep and had to spend an hour and a half trying to block out the sounds of a nice, wholesome boy being fucked six ways to Sunday in the bunk above his.
[ o30 - out ]
"Well, you know..." Kris says into the microphone, leveling his eyes with those of the interviewer before he runs his tongue under his bottom lip and thinks to himself oh, what the hell and concludes, just as nonchalantly as you please, "we're a couple."
* = reference to the movie Tommy Boy, I'm a loser
** = reference to Best Week Ever, go watch it if you haven't!