your final scene alone sold this fic to me, honestly.
"And I really thought that all of that did happen."
She's about to turn away when something in the cavern catches her eye: something glinting, bright. At first she thinks it's nothing; but the second flash of white is unmistakable, like a wide, wide smile. Jia waits for a moment, for another response, for anything else-but nothing else comes.
Yet, as she turns around, she swears she catches a glimpse of a pair of shining black eyes staring up at her, so real that they make the world around them look fake.I don't know if you have any anxiety about writing endings, but you shouldn't because this is perfection. sometimes this fic was really close to the source material, but by the end you'd really broken away and this capped it off. in the 50s disney version, alice leaves wonderland in a state of terror but feels safe at home, knowing it's not real, but jia doesn't have that sense of security and that really sent the fic home. I love the twist you took from wonderland being a big
( ... )
Thank you so so much omg ♥ (I actually spent ages restructuring and rewording the ending, to be honest /o\). I'm really glad you liked my story so much, especially the ending because they leave last impressions, of course, and your words are too kind, quite honestly! Thank you, again! ^^
First of all, wow. I absolutely love the last scene with Min when Jia completely freaks out and runs away.
Secondly, I love your writing style in this. In the beginning, the writing style is very like Alice in Wonderland -- very posh and polished and very English. That was the first thing I picked up on, and I really, really liked it, because it really suit the fic. I also like the plot itself -- I don't know the actual story very well so it was really nice to have little surprises with Min sticking around for the whole story and not just a brief glimpse at the beginning, and the scene on Min's bed. You can really feel Jia's admiration and love of Min at that moment.
As it went on, I loved the pacing. The pacing for long-fics are always pretty consistent and not as rushed as shorter fics, which is awesome. I don't know Miss A at all so I can't comment on characterisation, but I really, really love Min. She's such a child at heart, wanting everything to be perfect and hers, while Jia is more just along for the ride, following Min
( ... )
Oh my god this is an incredible comment thank you so much!!!♥♥♥ (Quite honestly I was terrified of my own writing style in this, so it's amazing to hear that you liked it so much.) I honestly, really honestly don't know what else to say except a thousand times thank you and that your analysis is really amazing, of everything and everyone and spot-on and definitely more in-depth than I intended it to be. Just, thank you for reading and enjoying and leaving this fantastically amazing comment that seriously makes me happier than anything else. ♥♥♥♥♥
Comments 7
Reply
Reply
"And I really thought that all of that did happen."
She's about to turn away when something in the cavern catches her eye: something glinting, bright. At first she thinks it's nothing; but the second flash of white is unmistakable, like a wide, wide smile. Jia waits for a moment, for another response, for anything else-but nothing else comes.
Yet, as she turns around, she swears she catches a glimpse of a pair of shining black eyes staring up at her, so real that they make the world around them look fake.I don't know if you have any anxiety about writing endings, but you shouldn't because this is perfection. sometimes this fic was really close to the source material, but by the end you'd really broken away and this capped it off. in the 50s disney version, alice leaves wonderland in a state of terror but feels safe at home, knowing it's not real, but jia doesn't have that sense of security and that really sent the fic home. I love the twist you took from wonderland being a big ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Secondly, I love your writing style in this. In the beginning, the writing style is very like Alice in Wonderland -- very posh and polished and very English. That was the first thing I picked up on, and I really, really liked it, because it really suit the fic. I also like the plot itself -- I don't know the actual story very well so it was really nice to have little surprises with Min sticking around for the whole story and not just a brief glimpse at the beginning, and the scene on Min's bed. You can really feel Jia's admiration and love of Min at that moment.
As it went on, I loved the pacing. The pacing for long-fics are always pretty consistent and not as rushed as shorter fics, which is awesome. I don't know Miss A at all so I can't comment on characterisation, but I really, really love Min. She's such a child at heart, wanting everything to be perfect and hers, while Jia is more just along for the ride, following Min ( ... )
Reply
Reply
JIGGLYPUFF!!
Reply
Leave a comment