Title: Two Ways Out of Here
Team: Canon
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: SHINee
Pairing: Jonghyun/Sekyung; Jonghyun/Onew
Summary: What if it reaches your heart?
Prompt Used: SHINee- Lucifer
Jonghyun had seen it coming. He’d seen it all.
“Hyung, I’m going to borrow your headphones; I left mine at home.”
Jinki makes a small noise and shifts in his seat, leaning against the window. “Wear your seatbelt,” he mumbles.
Jonghyun rolls his eyes and stuffs an earbud in. “Paranoid.” He taps his finger to the beat and stares out the window. There’s about half an hour until they reach the farm. There probably won’t be any service there - he makes a mental note to himself to call Sekyung soon. The photoshoot starts in an hour and Jonghyun knows Taemin and Kibum will arrive on time in the other van. Minho’s sleeping in the front seat, and their manager is driving. The digital speedometer reads 112 kilometers. Jonghyun winces - that’s way too fast. When he opens his mouth to say something, their manager rubs his eyes and yawns.
It all happens too quickly, but Jonghyun sees every detail.
Their manager’s hand slips on the steering wheel and suddenly he feels the car veering off course. There’s a large push and then Jonghyun registers a huge crash; the windows explode and he feels a huge force pressing against him.
Jonghyun finds himself sprawled on the ground a couple of meters away.
What the fuck is going on, what the fuck is-
Bile fills his throat as he wills himself to breathe. It comes out as an airy wheeze that has him curling into a ball from the pain. It hurts, it hurts so bad...
He’s lying in a pool of his blood; the coppery, acrid smell makes him gag. It hurts to move, hurts to breathe, hurts, hurts, hurts. He shifts his body slightly and lets out a choked sob at the pain. The blood smells nauseating; Jonghyun heaves and empties his stomach. He turns to look at the rest of his body and screams.
His leg, oh god, his leg.
His leg is mangled, twisted in an unnatural position. Blood is seeping out of the large gash in the side. He needs to get back to the van. The road is too far, but maybe he can drag himself. He braces himself and pushes.
He immediately draws his hand back, howling with pain. There are tiny bits of glass shards lodged all along his arms and legs. Jonghyun screams in agony, sobbing where he’s sprawled across the ground in a pool of his own blood. He forces himself to stay awake. Who knows what could have happened to the others. He sucks in a deep breath and screams, hoping for some type of response. Nothing happens, and Jonghyun starts bawling, head swimming, falling in and out of consciousness. What the hell was going on? One minute ago he was listening to his ipod, now he’s mere centimeters away from death. His body lays there like a heavy weight and Jonghyun finally slumps on the ground.
There are voices all around him, and he feels like he’s moving. He opens his eyes, squinting as the bright lights above him pass by. When he goes to say something, a rush of air leaves him lightheaded for a moment, before he realizes he’s wearing an oxygen mask.
“He’s awake,” someone says next to him, and his eyes dart over to the right side, seeing a man in a white jacket speed walking beside him.
Oh, he thinks. He’s in a hospital. It all makes sense now. Everything comes flooding into him now and he groans as the familiar throbbing in his head increases. He shifts his body a bit and squeezes his eyes shut at the wave of pain.
“Get the anesthetics ready,” he hears the doctor say, and one of the nurses reply.
A moment later he registers the opening of a door and he gets put on the operation table. There’s a needle in his arm and his eyelids get heavy. He blacks out one more time.
Jonghyun wakes up two days later and groans in pain. He looks up to see a balloon above his head, an unmistakable “get well soon” written across it. His mind feels a bit hazy and his body feels heavy, but Jonghyun exhales deeply and tries to push himself up to a sitting position.
When he pushes though, his leg feels like a weight that drags it and the rest of his body down. Jonghyun takes off the blanket and looks down to see another one wrapped around his leg. When he reaches over to remove the blanket, someone tuts at him. He looks up to see a nurse come in through the door.
“Finally awake?” she asks. Jonghyun gives her a robotic nod and groans at the stiffness of his neck. She laughs at him. “Yeah, you sleep at an awkward angle. Every time a nurse put your head back on the pillow like a normal person you’d shift right back.”
He blinks, not bothering to hide his lack of enthusiasm. “The leg-”
“It’ll be alright. We had to do a last resort surgery on it. We thought you were a goner. We could have simply amputated it, but with all the blood you lost before the paramedics had arrived, you probably wouldn’t have survived. We spoke with your company and your parents, and discussed the issue with the health insurance company.”
“Wait, what? Health insurance, last resort, amputation - what?” He looks at the blanket over his leg. “Please tell me my leg is in that thing. Attached.”
“Well, it’s in a weird position, I mean. It’s not fully ready yet, so you shouldn’t take that off. It’s hard to explain-”
Jonghyun stares at her for a moment, blank-faced and not really registering what she’s saying. He decides to give up listening and settles for ripping the blanket off. There’s a loud clunk sound, and the first thing Jonghyun thinks is that that did not sound like skin.
“Oh dear,” the nurse whispers, looking at Jonghyun’s expression.
“How is that supposed to work?” Jonghyun demands, pointing as his leg. “It’s metal!”
“Can I touch it?” Taemin asks.
“No, ew,” Kibum slaps his hand.
“How this works,” the doctor says, “is that the metal rod is acting as a filler for the section of the bone that got severed. Over time the bone will grow back, meaning that we will have to insert a rod that so you will have to keep coming back, but that will take many years to develop. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Jonghyun takes a deep breath. “Just a little winded.”
“I’ll give you some time for you and your friends then.” The doctor stands up and bows. “When I come back, I’ll explain the blood flow and electric stimulation.”
Jonghyun nods blankly and looks back to the others. “So,” he says. “Like my leg?”
Kibum snorts. “Yeah, real funny.”
“At least I’m still here,” he counters.
Minho ruffles his hair like he’s five. “At least you didn’t get it amputated. You don’t have to wait as long as me. Dammit, my arm is itchy.” He looks down at his cast. “You guys can sign it?”
“Can I draw porn on it?”
“No.”
Taemin sits next to Jonghyun. “Can I touch it now?”
“Sure, whatever. I won’t feel it anyways.”
Taemin leans forwards and presses his head to the metal. He instantly draws it back. “It’s cold.”
“No shit,” Jonghyun says dryly.
“Sekyung called, by the way,” Kibum announces. “And she said she hates you.”
“Hates me?”
Kibum shrugs. “You know. Girl talk. The whole oh-my-god-I-was-so-scared-you-assshole-I-hate-you type of thing.”
“Speaking of,” Minho looks up. “Saw the lingerie pictures of her. I’ll bring them to keep you busy. She looks pretty banging, not gonna lie.”
“I will cut you,” Jonghyun growls.
They exit the room a few minutes later and Jonghyun doesn’t realize Jinki is there until they’re the only ones left. He’s leaning against the wall with an unreadable expression. For once Jonghyun has no idea what to say to lighten the mood. Everything he thinks up gets muddled in his head and shredded in his mouth.
He hears a small noise and looks up to see Jinki walking towards him. He sits on the bed next to Jonghyun and brushes Jonghyun’s fringe out of his eyes. Jonghyun can already feel his vision blurring.
“You should have listened to me,” Jinki says.
The first tear falls down his face and his voice trembles. “I know.”
“Look what you’ve done to yourself,” Jinki whispers. He trails a finger down one of the scars on Jonghyun’s face.
“I’m sorry,” his voices cracks. Jinki wraps an arm around his shoulder as Jonghyun starts sobbing into his chest.
“Jonghyun’s leg has been injured and therefore will be taking a break for an undetermined amount of time.”
The company doesn’t state a reason, and Jonghyun is fine with that. The doctors put skin on the gaps of his legs and send the electric shock down. It’s amazing how what seemed like a dead weight to him seconds ago is now lightless, like it really is a part of his body. He gets sent home a week later and goes to physical therapy four times a week.
“Your leg randomly twitches at times, did you know that?”
Jonghyun looks up from his book. “Hm?”
“Your leg. It twitches.”
He shrugs. “It’s probably still a bit wonky. It’s only been three weeks.”
“It wasn’t doing that for the first two,” Jinki counters.
Jonghyun rolls his eyes. “Over exaggerating.”
“Whatever,” Jinki says. “Sekyung called a while ago while you were sleeping. Call her back. Invite her over. Do things with her. She was probably worried about you.”
Jonghyun pauses for a moment to study Jinki’s face. The comment was offhanded, but his expression looks serious. “What about you? Are you gonna stay here while I do yucky things with my girlfriend?”
Jinki wrinkles his nose. “Ew, no. I have a schedule in half an hour.”
“Half an hour? Nooooo,” Jonghyun whines. “Do things with me.”
“Go do things yourself.”
“Noooooo,” Jonghyun pouts. “Sing one song with me at least. Please? I miss singing with people.” Jinki stares at him as Jonghyun shifts uncomfortably. “I miss singing with you, okay?” He feels the cushions sinking next to him and someone’s shoulder touching his. Jinki grins at him.
“We’re looking through my ipod though, okay? I get to choose the song.”
“Whatever,” Jonghyun mumbles, and takes an earbud.
Jinki clicks on a song and looks at Jonghyun. “Who sings what part?”
Jonghyun shrugs. “No idea. Just go along with it. You start singing.”
Jinki spares Jonghyun a glare and starts to sing. Jonghyun sways back and forth and taps to the rhythm on Jinki’s knees.
Jinki takes his leave ten songs later and twenty minutes late to where ever his schedule takes him.
Sekyung comes by two hours later in an oversized sweater and no makeup. It’s baffling how different yet how similar she looks. He shows her his leg and heats up leftovers for the both of them. Jonghyun convinces her to play video games with him, even though Sekyung ends up just watching.
“I like this better,” Sekyung says after a long while. “Meeting face-to-face, rather than texting each other.” Jonghyun makes a noise of agreement. “I wonder…” Her voice falters and Jonghyun glances at her to see her looking straight ahead of them with teary eyes. “What were you thinking of - right before it happened.”
Jonghyun pauses, thinking back. Something about phones and ipods. The memory is hazy, distorted by a mix of emotions and medicine. He can clearly remember Jinki’s voice, though, telling him to wear his seatbelt. The hoarseness of his voice had been clouded with sleepiness, and Jonghyun remembers how he had shifted beside him.
“Jonghyun?”
He feels Sekyung patting his arm with a worried expression. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
“No,” she says. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s fine,” Jonghyun finds himself lying. “I don’t really remember what happened anyways.”
“Go fetch me water, knave,” Jonghyun sneers at Minho. “I’m a cripple.”
“So am I,” Minho frowns, looking at his cast.
“Yes, well, you have a cast on your arm, and I have a robotic leg.”
“You can still walk properly.”
“Just get him the water, Minho, or he’ll be at it all day long,” Kibum says, not looking up from his laptop.
Jinki frowns from where he’s seated next to Jonghyun. He checks his phone, once, twice, and then looks back at Jonghyun. Jonghyun is busy swaying to some unheard beat, nodding his head and tapping his feet.
“Hey,” he says, nudging Jonghyun with his feet. “Stop bullying little kids.”
“I’m not little,” Minho responds and places the cup next to Jonghyun.
Jonghyun laughs and shifts his body so that their shoulders are touching. “You’re miniscule.”
“Look who’s talking,” Minho mutters and ducks to avoid a flying pencil. “You should’ve known that was coming.”
“Whatever, alien boy,” Jonghyun retorts, turning his body again so that he’s facing Jinki. “Hyung, can we buy food? I’m starving. Let’s go shopping.”
“Go with Yoonduk-hyung,” Jinki mumbles and opens his cellphone to answer a text message.
“He’s in his room, sleeping.” Jonghyun gestures to the manager’s bedroom and rolls his eyes. “He’s always sleeping. I checked everyone’s schedule and you’re the only one who’s free. Enjoy your freedom. Go shopping for milk and cereal.”
“You don’t even eat cereal,” Jinki snaps his phone shut and looks at Jonghyun. “I don’t have any money on me, either. Using credit is annoying.” He turns himself the other way and places his head on Jonghyun’s lap.
Jonghyun laughs and brushes Jinki’s fringe out of his eyes. “I can pay,” he says as Jinki sighs contentedly. The feeling of his hair is nice under his fingertips, so he does it again. And again. And again, until Jinki catches him staring and Jonghyun turns away, blushing.
“I’ll get my credit card,” he says and runs into his room. The other three boys laugh at Jonghyun.
“Kazaam,” Jonghyun grins. “Didn’t even touch the rim.”
Jinki sighs as he watches Jonghyun grab another box and aims. “If that opens, you’re paying for it.”
Jonghyun pouts and puts it back on the shelf. He nudges Jinki and jolts back. “Ow,” he mumbles, rubbing his arm. “Shocked.” He puts his hands on the bars of the cart. “I’ll push now. Find food!”
They end up spending their time running around and eating food samples and debating over whether they should get junk food or not, and if so, Chocopies or Hi Chew, gummy worms or chocolates. They get a little bit of everything. Jinki jumps onto the opposite end of the trolley and laughs at Jonghyun’s attempt to push both him and the cart.
“You’re fat, what the hell. Get off.”
“How dare you,” Jinki says, scandalized. “It’s all muscle.”
“It’s definitely no - ooh! I haven’t seen these since I was in middle school,” Jonghyun coos, staring at a box of microwavable pizza. “Can we get it? Please?”
“Fine,” Jinki sighs. “But that’s the last thing you’re getting.”
“Wow, why do you two buy so much useless stuff,” Kibum says when they get back. “Taemin, what do you want? I’m calling for takeout.”
Jinki and Jonghyun exchange pouts. “We’d totally eat it all, right hyung?”
“Hell yeah,” Jinki grins and they exchange a high five. Jinki pulls his hand back. “Ouch,” he mumbles. “You shocked me. Again.”
Jonghyun frowns and eyes a Chocopie. “Yeah, I’ve been doing that.” He makes a grab for the box of cookies in Jinki’s hands instead and flees to the living room. He laughs madly at Jinki’s yelp behind him. “You can’t catch me, I’m in the gingerbread man!” he screams, diving into a pile of pillows and building a fort.
Jonghyun gets a call at two in the morning and lazily gropes around his nightstand for his cellphone. “Hello?” he mumbles.
“Did I wake you up?”
“Not at all,” he says blearily. “I’m practically nocturnal,” he groans.
Sekyung laughs and mocks his voice. “I’m Kim Jonghyun and I’m a creature of the night. Fear my darkness.”
“Fear me,” Jonghyun yawns. “I eat babies.” He rubs at his eyes and leans up in his bed. Minho’s at schedule, so he’s home alone except for Taemin who’s locked up, asleep in his own room. “Where are you anyways?”
“Photoshoot for Vivien. We’re taking a break right now, so I’m sitting here in the dressing room.”
He hears a shuffling around, and Jonghyun’s pretty sure he has a really sleazy smile on. “Lingerie, again? You should like, send me a picture.”
“You should like, wait for the official pictures to come out.”
“I’m your boyfriend!” Jonghyun whines. “Shouldn’t I be getting VIP access or something?”
“No.”
Jonghyun whines more and falls back on the bed. He throws the blanket over him and rolls over onto his stomach. “You’re a mean girlfriend. Anyways, it’s like, two in the morning and you have a break. Why are you not sleeping?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” Jonghyun can practically hear her pout. “Everytime you try to call me I’m busy doing something.”
“I appreciate that and all, but I’m sure sleep is bigger than me. Besides, you have some creepy ass eyebags.”
“I’m hanging up on you.”
“You’re still beautiful!” Jonghyun covers his head before he realizes Sekyung isn’t there and that she can’t really hit him.
“You’re lucky this time,” Sekyung mumbles. “Fine. To sleep or keep talking to you?”
“Sleep. And you should master the art of texting.”
“I have a flip phone, it’s really hard! And I’m gonna go now, okay? Bye!”
“Bye.” Jonghyun places his phone the nightstand and lies back down. He stares at the ceiling for five minutes before getting up and pouring himself a glass of water from the kitchen. The door opens halfway through and Yoonduk-hyung walks in, followed by Jinki.
“Jonghyun-ah,” Yoonduk smiles. “Can you take care of Jinki for me? He’s exhausted, and I still have to go pick Kibum up.”
Jonghyun nods blankly and watches him leave, exchanging glances with Jinki.
“I’m okay,” Jinki frowns and yawns. “Really.”
“You’re drenched,” he frowns. “Is it raining outside?”
“Pouring,” Jinki coughs.
Jonghyun grabs Jinki’s hand and brings him to the bathroom. “We’ll have to dry your hair and take off your make up. Taemin locked the door to your room, so you can, uh, borrow my shorts or something.” He sits Jinki down on the countertop and takes out a towel, placing it and Jinki’s head, efficiently disheveling his hair.
Jinki has trouble keeping his eyes awake, but he speaks anyways. “It was tiring, but fun. Yoseob was there. You guys are the same age, right?”
“He’s older,” Jonghyun replies and runs his hands through Jinki’s hair. “I won’t use the hair dryer because Taemin’s sleeping, and the boy needs his sleep. But your hair is only slightly damp now. Don’t move.” He sets the towel done and runs through the cabinet, taking out a facial cleanser. He grabs a cotton sheet and presses it to Jinki’s face. “Your skin sucks,” he says. “This is why you don’t use Kibum’s stuff. You guys aren’t even the same skin type.”
“Mhm,” Jinki mumbles and keeps his eyes closed.
“Alright, stand up for a moment. Can you rinse your face off by yourself, or should I do that too?” Jinki makes another noise and gets up, facing the skin. He ends up missing his face and getting his neck instead. Jonghyun laughs. “I’ll do that too.” He bends down and scoops up water in his palm.
Afterwards, Jonghyun throws a pair of shorts at Jinki as he shrugs off his own t-shirt. He watches with mild amusement as Jinki stumbles into his own bed, sound asleep as soon as he hits the mattress. He considers sleeping in Minho’s bed, but the thought of Minho’s angry face at six in the morning makes him shove Jinki aside and climb in next to him, sighing contentedly as he feels Jinki’s arms wrap around him. But maybe he should’ve worn a shirt.
“Guess how old I am here!” Jonghyun types. There are already over three hundred messages ten minutes later.
Jonghyun has too much time, Such a pretty child!, or Yah! Put some clothes on! are what the messages read.
His cellphone rings and Jonghyun recognizes the ringtone. “Hey,” he greets.
“You were quite the devil when you were small,” Sekyung says.
“Wow,” Jonghyun breathes out. “That was fast. Did you like it?”
“You really have too much time on your hands.”
Jonghyun laughs. “Get free, then. We can spend it together.”
“I’m being sponsored. Free time doesn’t exist.”
“By a lingerie company! I haven’t even seen you in lingerie in person.”
“You can wait a bit longer,” Sekyung laughs.
“That’s mean. You’re a horrible girlfriend.”
“Hate that I love you,” Sekyung replies sarcastically. “How’s the leg, by the way?”
“It’s a leg. I’ve been shocking people though, it’s weird. Like the electricity is running through me.”
“Aren’t you supposed to tell the doctor about that?”
Jonghyun laughs. “It’s not serious or anything. Besides, I feel like a robot - it’s awesome.”
“You’re weird,” Sekyung laughs. Then there’s a rumble in the background and someone calls out to Sekyung.
“Sekyung-ssi,” someone says. “Break ends in five minutes.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks,” she tells them. “Alright, I have to go now, Jonghyun. I’ll try to drop by soon, okay?”
“Paw, paw. C’mon, boy. Paw.” Jonghyun taps the back of Roo’s head and extends his hand out. “Roo, come on. Roo.” Roo sniffles a bit before falling on his side and rolling over. “No that’s not - fine, be that way. Go play with Coco or something.” He pokes Roo’s belly and yelps as he feels a rush of electricity. “Roo! You shocked me. Ugly dog, go do things.” Roo whines and nudges Jonghyun’s arms aside. He crawls into his lap and settles there. Jonghyun tries to fight back a smile but ends up petting him anyways. “Ugly dog.”
“You shouldn’t call your dog ugly.”
Jonghyun jumps at the voice and then rolls his eyes. “Oh my god, you scared me.”
Sekyung grins and plops a box of takeout on the counter. “He’s so cute,” she coos and scratches the back of his ears. He responds by thumping his leg and leaning his head into the touch. “Is this what you do all the time?” she asks. “And are you always this disorganized?” She motions to the scatter of papers lying across his bed and the mess of tangled wires behind his laptop.
“I’m not disorganized, I know exactly where everything is,” Jonghyun says defensively. “And come on, it’s artistic creativity. It would ruin the flow.”
“The flow?”
“The flow!” Jonghyun repeats, waving his hands. “I’m still better than others. I mean, Van Gogh cut off his ear.”
“You’re close enough,” Sekyung retorts, giggling when Roo licks her fingers.
“You never told me you were coming.”
Sekyung smiles. “Kibum invited me over. How’s the leg?”
Jonghyun shrugs, grabbing a handful of papers and putting them on the nightstand. “Same old. Wanna feel it?” He pokes Roo’s back and watches him get up, whimpering slightly. “Go away, ugly dog.” He throws the blanket off him and rolls up his pant leg.
“It looks like a leg,” Sekyung deadpans.
“Exactly,” Jonghyun grins. “So don’t worry so much, okay?” He makes a grab for Sekyung’s hand and feels a rush of static.
“Ow,” she pouts. “You shocked me.”
“Um. Yeah. I’ve been doing that lately. Sorry.”
“That better not also be happening to your lips, too.”
“Only one way to find out.” Jonghyun grins and closes the distance.
Jonghyun feels the electricity the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. When he goes to grab a spoon from the cabinet, his arm twitches and ends up spilling the milk all over the floor. When he bends down to clean it up, Jonghyun shocks his hand and grimaces at the pain. “Ow,” he says.
“Are you okay?” he hears Kibum call from the family room.
“Yeah!” he says. “Just feeling a little wired, that’s all.” He grabs the paper towels and starts to clean up the mess.
He’s about half way done when he hears footsteps and stops when he sees a pair of feet walk into the kitchen area. It’s Jinki, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow.
“I spilt the milk,” Jonghyun explains before Jinki can ask and returns to cleaning.
Jinki laughs and bends down next to him. “Do you need any help?”
“Nope,” Jonghyun says absentmindedly. “I’m basically almost done.” His hand twitches again and splashes a bit of milk onto Jinki’s foot. He expects to hear Jinki’s soft laugh, but when he’s greeted by nothing but silence, he looks up to see Jinki staring down at him with a solemn expression. “What?”
“Your hand,” Jinki frowned. He grabs it and turns it over in his own, examining it for any irregularities. “It’s caused by your leg, isn’t it? It’s not working properly.”
“What are you talking about,” Jonghyun frowns. “My hand is my hand, and my leg is my leg.”
Jinki grabs the nearest paper towel and quickly cleans up the rest of the mess. “You’ve been shocking people, too,” he says. “Jonghyun, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought anything of it.”
Jonghyun frowns. “It’s just acting weird. It’ll get better in a week or so.”
“It’s not supposed to act weird.”
Jonghyun stands up and puts the milk back in the fridge. “Hyung, stop over thinking things. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. It’s a onetime thing, you know?”
He can feel Jinki’s gaze on him as he walks out of kitchen and shudders.
“Why are you always busy,” Jonghyun whines into the phone. “You are not making this dating stuff easy, okay?” He laughs and then spots Jinki out of the corner of his eye. “Fine. I’m going to call you back, okay?” He voice trembles on the last syllable as his arm twitches and bangs on the side of the table. “Ow. No, sorry. I just hit something by accident. Well anyways, bye!” He closes the phone and places it down before pouting and rubbing his arm.
“Jonghyun,” Jinki taps him on the shoulder. “What’s happening? Your other leg is acting weird as well. And your arm - don’t think I didn’t see that. Are you sure it’s alright?”
Jonghyun sighs. “Hyung, I-” His voice falters when his arm shakes.
Jinki stares at him. “Yeah, okay, not alright.” He sits next to Jonghyun. “You have to tell the doctor, Jonghyun.”
“But that doesn’t have to do with my leg.”
“It’s affecting the rest of your body. It sends electrical impulses. That’s probably why you shock everyone.”
“Just randomly getting shocked and having body parts twitching. Isn’t too bad.”
Jinki holds his gaze for a long moment where Jonghyun has to avert his gaze.
“Jonghyun,” Jinki says softly. “What if it reaches your heart?”
Jonghyun sighs as he hears Taemin warn him to be careful in the background. “What do you want?” he asks and takes out a bowl.
“Just make raymun or something. I’m not that hungry anyway.” He pours the contents into the bowl and watis for the water to boil.
Jinki appears in the doorway looking at Jonghyun suspiciously. “Taemin said you were cooking. Need any help?”
Jonghyun shakes his head and opens the cupboard. “It’s only raymun, it’s easy.” He reaches into the shelf for a spoon and feel his hand shake. Everything comes crashing down around him and Jonghyun screams and clutches his hand to his chest.
“It’s easy,” Jinki repeats sarcastically, and bends down to help Jonghyun pick up all the fallen items.
His hand spazzes again and everything spreads farther along the kitchen floor. “It doesn’t happen this often,” Jonghyun counters. “Something’s just off.”
Jinki gives him a hard look as he places a cup on the countertop. “What’s that supposed to mean - something is off. Of course something is off, it shouldn’t be happening at all. Jonghyun, when are you going to tell the doctor? When it gets serious?”
Jonghyun ignores the question and grabs a handful of silverware. “I am so lucky there weren’t any knives in there.”
Jinki pauses and looks at Jonghyun. “Jonghyun, look at me,” he orders.
It isn’t the words, but rather the tone that makes Jonghyun freeze in place and slowly match his gaze to Jinki’s. It’s hard to look straight into Jinki’s eyes, in fear of something, but he can’t quite bring himself to look away either. The look in Jinki’s eyes is sharp and insistent, Jonghyun feels oddly drawn in while being pulled away at the same time.
“It’s not just yourself you’re hurting when you do this,” he says slowly and stands up.
Jonghyun gets up after him and watches Jinki walk away. He debates with himself. To call him back or to let him go, to call him back or to let him go, to-
“Jin-”
His voice gets cut off midway when his leg quivers. Then so does his arm, and then his other leg, and before he realizes it he’s thrashing around on the ground, screaming.
His body shakes violently, and fuck, everything hurts, and he can suddenly feel Jinki’s hands on him, turning him over onto his side.
Jinki is telling him something, he thinks. His voice is urgent, laced with concern and hysteria. There’s a little click and Jonghyun realizes that was his phone. Jinki probably called for help. His body is pulled in one direction and his head is placed on Jinki’s lap. He doesn’t try to grab Jonghyun’s shaking limbs though, and Jonghyun lies there as his body moves against his will.
He wakes up the next morning in a white room, and looks around blankly. The IV bag next to him confirms that he’s in a hospital. His body is sore, and when he tries to move, his leg hurts, like trying to pull off a ring that’s two sizes too small for your finger. Oh, he realizes. They broke off the connection between his prosthetic leg and the rest of his body. That’s when he notices someone on the other side of the room moving.
It’s Jinki, sprawled across the little sofa with a thin sheet of cloth over him, asleep. He shifts one more time and sighs, gripping the edge of the blanket. He watches him for a while, memorizing each detail of Jinki’s sleeping habits. He doesn’t snore, and he doesn’t have any particularly weird habits. Jinki likes to cover his whole body, but the piece of cloth is too small, so it’s between having cold feet or a cold head. He goes for the head, so Jonghyun can get a clear view of his face for once. He looks a lot younger, like when they first met. Jinki stirs in his sleep, and Jonghyun peers closer to see if he’ll do anything interesting.
He wakes up.
Jinki’s eyes flutter open, and then shut themselves again as he groans, curling himself into a ball. Jonghyun laughs and he opens his eyes again.
“Hey,” Jinki smiles lazily.
“Hey,” Jonghyun repeats. “Good sleep?”
“Mhm,” Jinki stretches and yawns before he sits up properly. He rubs at his eyes and then the rest of his face. “Why are hospitals so cold, and why don’t they have proper blankets.”
“No idea,” he says. “My blanket is pretty warm and fluffy though. We could trade, if you want.”
“Too late now,” Jinki says and wraps the cloth around him. “It’s fine though. Did you sleep? If you did, when’d you wake up?”
“I did, and a couple of minutes ago, actually. What happened to your schedule?”
He gives Jonghyun a quizzical look and stretches again. “My band member had a seizure; do you really think I cared about anything else at the moment?”
“True,” Jonghyun mumbles.
“Well, are you feeling better now?”
Jonghyun smiles. “Yeah, loads. Thanks, by the way. For, you know. All that.”
Jinki chuckles and folds his hands together. “Did the best I could. You’re lucky I remembered the health classes we took in high school. Always turn a person who’s having a seizure on their side so they don’t hit their head on the floor and get a concussion.”
Jonghyun laughs. “Yeah. And, uh. I’m really sorry for everything. Not telling the doctor and all. It was stupid of me. I thought that I was just better than the mechanics. Too prideful to do anything about it. I should’ve realized how dumb that was after the first car crash.”
“Try not to pull that shit again,” Jinki smiles. He stands up and sits next to Jonghyun. He watches him as Jinki plays with the hem of his shirt. “This is practically your second home. You should like, bring a TV in here or something.”
“We could watch Athena together,” Jonghyun agrees.
“And laugh at Goo Ara.”
“She might kick you in the shin though,” Jonghyun warns.
“We can have matching legs!” Jinki grins. “You know? Like, matching bracelets. Just, not bracelets. Legs. That’d be awesome.”
“You are so weird on so many levels.”
“I’m amazing,” Jinki says. “Total lady charmer.”
“And guy charmer,” Jonghyun mumbles under his breath.
Jinki blinks. “What’d you say?”
“Nothing,” Jonghyun quips and looks away quickly. He can feel Jinki watching him and mentally curses himself. Maybe he can pull off a ‘no homo dude, but I heard someone talking…’ but Jinki knows him better than that. And he hasn’t seen anyone other than his band mates and girlfriend in months.
Jinki clears his throat. “Of course I am,” he smiles confidentially. Jonghyun sees him inspecting his nails - a habit does when Jinki’s nervous. “You must be hungry,” he says quickly. “I’ll run down to the lobby and grab some snacks.”
“I’m not hungry,” Jonghyun says. “And you can just order food if you want to.”
Jinki pauses, looking down at his hands. “Oh.”
“Let’s do something,” Jonghyun suddenly says and beams at him. “Like. Um. Singing! We could sing together. Infinite has this new song and it’s really good and-”
“But we always sing,” Jinki frowns. “That’s like, the basis of our relationship.” He shifts his position so that his body is facing in towards Jonghyun.
“But we sing,” Jonghyun wilts. “I like that relationship.”
“But I want more.”
Jonghyun freezes as he registers Jinki’s words. When he looks up, Jinki presses his lips to his and brushes a hand through his hair. Jonghyun has half a mind to push him away, but when Jinki licks his way his into his mouth, slow and intoxicating, Jonghyun feels his body giving in and his mind losing resolve. He slowly lets his hands curl around Jinki’s neck, breathing into his mouth. Jinki makes a small noise of contentment and adjusts himself so that he’s leaning over Jonghyun, inhaling the scent of his hair. Jonghyun pulls him closer and Jinki tilts his head to the side, smirking when he shudders beneath him.
Jonghyun hears the door open in the background and his eyes widen. His hands scrabble from Jinki’s neck to his shirt and he fights the urge to moan when Jinki tugs lightly on his lower lip. It isn’t until someone gasps when Jinki pulls away and stares at Jonghyun, mortified. He doesn’t turn around, in fear of who is standing there. Jonghyun looks over to find Sekyung with her hands over her mouth.
“O-oh,” she whispers. “I’ll, um. I’ll come back later.” She turns around and walks out of the room quickly. Jonghyun braces himself to get up, but grits his teeth at the tug in his leg.
“Don’t,” Jinki says, pressing him back down onto the bed. “They haven’t recharged your leg.” He sighs and stands up. “I’ll talk to her.”
Jonghyun grabs his hand and takes a deep breath. “Can I trust you?” he asks slowly, watching Jinki.
Jinki sighs. “I don’t know,” he says truthfully. Jonghyun studies him for a long moment before letting go and looking away. Jinki gives a small smile and pats him on the head. “I’ll try to do the right thing.” He walks out of the room without looking back. Jonghyun frowns to himself before banging his fist on the table.
Sekyung walks in two days later with a mask over her face. She has deep eyebags and a lifeless face. Jonghyun has never felt guiltier in his life. “Hi,” he waves meekly.
“Hi,” she replies. “I’m sick,” she explains, looking at Jonghyun’s expression. “I had shooting for twenty hours, so I didn’t get much sleep.”
They both stay silent and look at different places. Sekyung plays with her bracelet and Jonghyun suddenly finds his nails very intriguing. He goes on for a moment until he finally sighs. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. He can’t bring himself to look Sekyung in the eye, so he tries to imagine when her facial expression looks like. Maybe she’ll start crying, or burst into anger, screaming at cursing at him. She could possibly look at him like he’s some lower being, unworthy of her presence.
“Jonghyun,” Sekyung says. “It’s alright.”
Jonghyun freezes. “No, Sekyung. Look, it was a-”
Sekyung presses a finger to his lips. “I know the difference,” she says. “I understand.”
Jonghyun feels helpless. Sekyung’s discovered him, and she knows it. “But I-”
“It’s okay. Jonghyun,” she whispers. “I wouldn’t want to force someone to like me anyways.”
“Sekyung, I like you.”
“Not like you like him,” she answers, and it’s a blow straight to Jonghyun’s heart. His chest swells and he tries to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Oh, Jonghyun, don’t cry.” She hugs him and pets the back of his head, the same way Jinki used to before-
Jonghyun freezes at the realization, breaking any sort of resolve he had before. His body shudders and he dissolves into tears. Something falls on the nape of his neck, and Jonghyun knows Sekyung is crying too. “I’m sorry,” he gasps. “I’m so sorry.”
She rubs his back one more time before smiling at him. Despite her swollen eyes and bitter smile, she’s still beautiful to Jonghyun. “I’m going to go now, okay? We’ll still talk - this isn’t the end of our friendship.”
Jonghyun gives her a weak nod, like he’s five all over again. She gets up and walks to the door, but stops at the entrance. Jonghyun closes his eyes and hopes it isn’t who he thinks it is.
When he opens them again, Jinki is standing there and looking at him, Sekyung long gone. Jinki stiffens, like he was caught staring when he wasn’t supposed to. Jonghyun wipes away his tears as Jinki walks towards the bed. He sits next to Jonghyun and runs a hand through Jonghyun’s hair. He sniffs and looks down, trying to stop himself from crying any more.
Jonghyun grabs Jinki’s hand and holds it in his own, examining it. The skin is rough and cracked; the lines on his palm don’t connect with each other. Jonghyun remembers reading somewhere that if they don’t make an M, then they’re not good marriage partners. The lines on Sekyung’s palm made an M - he knows her hand more than his own.
“I left her,” he finally says, voice cracking on the last syllable.
Jinki looks down at his lap and gives a weak nod. “I know.” He watches Jonghyun’s profile, his face in deep concentration as he tries to distract himself. “You shouldn’t have,” he says.
Jonghyun nods in agreement, squeezing his eyes shut. He lets himself cry this time, sobbing softly. “I know,” he agrees. “But I did it anyways.” He squeezes Jinki’s hand. “Please, for once, be selfish.”
Jinki takes his hand and wraps his arms around Jonghyun, pulling him close. “Alright,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Poll Round 6: Two Ways Out of Here