Round 15: when the flowers fall (3/3)
Some point after that, Kyungsoo realized he loved Taekwoon. Perhaps even too much. Taekwoon probably didn’t think so, not by the way Kyungsoo acted so indifferently to everything. When Taekwoon was caught up in a scandal with a fellow actress, Kyungsoo didn’t even ask. When Taekwoon was photographed with another idol, Kyungsoo remained impassive. He pushed down the emotions, his face calm and blank.
“How do I know?” Taekwoon had once asked. “How do I know you love me when you won’t even fight for me?”
But Kyungsoo was fighting for him. Him not revealing their relationship, him pretending like they were best friends, him swallowing his uneasiness whenever Taekwoon was with a girl- that was Kyungsoo’s fight. It was the only way he could protect him, but Taekwoon didn’t seem to understand.
“Just this once,” he begged, pushing the ticket into Kyungsoo’s palm. “It’s our last concert of the year, and I wrote a song, just for you.”
“I can’t.” Kyungsoo hated this. He seemed like the bad guy for turning down all the concerts. “You know I can’t.”
“But I want you to hear the song,” Taekwoon pleaded. “If you’re worried about that sasaeng, it’s not a big deal.”
He just didn’t understand. “That sasaeng is watching. The entire world is watching, Taekwoon.” Kyungsoo’s hands shook, his anger and sadness overflowing. “Do you think I like sitting here, alone with fucking Prince of Tennis, while you sing your heart out to some fangirl onstage? Do you think I like watching shitty YouTube videos of you when I could be standing right there in the audience? Don’t you get that it’s precisely because I love you that I’m doing this?!”
Taekwoon stopped, his eyes echoing with hurt and disbelief. No. Taekwoon couldn’t possible get it. Kyungsoo loved him too much.
He loves me not.
✿
“How was your concert?” Kyungsoo tentatively asked. They were having dinner at a new restaurant Ryeowook had recently opened. (“French cuisine,” he had said excitedly. “You have to try it, Kyungsoo.”) Opening the eatery had been the first thing Ryeowook did after returning from the army, and Kyungsoo had felt strange as he sat down. Would this be them in a few years? “Jongin told me you guys were really good.”
“It was fine.”
Kyungsoo picked at his food, stomach already full of guilt. “That’s good.”
“Soo.” Taekwoon put down his fork. “There’s something I need to say.”
The soup tasted salty, oily- cold. So cold. Kyungsoo pushed it to the side. “Tell me.” Don’t tell me.
“I…” Taekwoon took a breath, heavily letting it out before trying again. “I get it. I get that you’re scared and, I’m not going to lie, I’m scared too.” His foot nudged Kyungsoo’s leg, pressing insistently against him. “But Soo, I really do love you. And that means I know you do care, that you’ll fight for me. So… I’m sorry.”
“Jung Taekwoon.” Kyungsoo willed his voice to stop shaking. “I thought you were breaking up with me, you asshole.”
“The opposite, actually. I want you to know just how much you mean to me.” Taekwoon glanced around the restaurant before reaching into his pocket. Pulling out a small, black box, he pushed it across the table.
“Oh my god.” Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes at the box. “What is this-”
“Just open it,” Taekwoon urged.
Kyungsoo pointedly stared at him again. When Taekwoon didn’t respond, he sighed and slowly grabbed it. Taekwoon knew how paranoid he was about matching jewelry, much less matching rings, surely he didn’t get some. Oh my god. Was this the ring? No, Taekwoon wouldn’t do something so foolish- right? It was hard enough for straight idols to get married, how could they even think of such a thing-
“Oh,” Kyungsoo gasped. Nestled in the velvet lining was a thin, silver key engraved with Apt. 1190.
“Do Kyungsoo,” Taekwoon beamed widely. “Will you move in with me?”
He loves me.
✿
Sometimes in his dream, the poppies grew uncontrollably. Kyungsoo tried to push them down, tried to run away, and right when it seemed as though he would be swallowed by the red petals, a hand would pull him away. It’ll be okay.
He could never see the person’s face but hearing the voice was enough. Knowing he would be rescued time and time again was enough.
✿
Kyungsoo told Sehun over breakfast. Handing him a bowl of rice, he tried to be as gentle as possible. “I’m moving in with Taekwoon.”
Sehun paused, eyebrows furrowing, before he gave a slow sigh. “I figured it would eventually happen.” He spooned some rice into his mouth. “I really hoped our lease would end first though. Looks like we’ll have to pay the penalty fee.”
“Wait. You’re not angry?”
“Nah. I’ve been thinking about moving in with Jongin anyways. He says he has a spare room.” Sehun gave him a pointed look. “Besides, Taekwoon hyung is here more often than I am. I’m actually surprised you guys didn’t kick me out.”
Kyungsoo let out a choked laugh. He was just full of surprises. When had Sehun, big baby maknae Sehunnie, grown up so much? Seeing him reach for an ice pop, Kyungsoo smiled. Maybe he would even grow out of his sweet tooth. Hopefully not.
“Hyung, I’m happy for you and all,” Sehun said. “But are you sure this is the right choice?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m sure.”
✿
July 9th. The date wasn’t written down anywhere, never circled on his calendar or murmured under his breath, but Kyungsoo would come to remember it far longer than the “I-love-you’s” and the countless other times Taekwoon had taken his breath away.
Kyungsoo was sitting on their apartment floor, laptop open to a tutorial on crocheting. To his left, Taekwoon sat against the couch with a book in his hand. It was their first free day that month, what with the mid-year performances and programs crowding their schedules, so the quiet break was much appreciated. Kyungsoo could feel little waves of stress roll off his shoulders as he twisted green strings of yarn around his fingers.
There was soft piano music playing from his laptop and the fan blew softly from the corner, but otherwise the apartment was silent. Kyungsoo glanced up to see Taekwoon’s chest moving in slow rhythms, a faint grin on his lips- and he was overwhelmed. It was peaceful. This moment, just the two of them in their apartment, was theirs alone. It was private, intimate, and it was perfect.
“Shit,” he hissed when his hand suddenly seized up in pain. He must have held the crochet hook too tightly. Grimacing, he carefully set aside the yarn and tried to stretch out the cramp.
“Stay still,” Taekwoon murmured. His chest pressed against Kyungsoo’s back as he reached around him to grip his wrist.
“Oh man,” Kyungsoo sighed, watching as Taekwoon gently massaged his hand. “What would I do without you?”
He could feel Taekwoon’s chest rumble lightly as he chuckled into Kyungsoo’s ear. "You're never going to find out."
He loves me.
✿
Kyungsoo turned on the TV for background noise as he swept the floors. Taekwoon was at a concert in Japan and would be home tomorrow. I’ll make that pasta dish he likes. Humming under his breath, Kyungsoo started making a list in his head. Garlic, shrimp, oregano, milk...
“...Leo from VIXX recently starred in the new drama, Goodbye Tomorrow, with upcoming actress…”
Kyungsoo looked up to see Taekwoon on the screen. He looked dashing in his fitted suit, hair styled up to emphasize his strong face. But what really drew Kyungsoo’s attention was the girl. She was beautiful, slender and curvy with long hair and a dazzling smile. The two of them standing there, smiling and so close to each other- they were gorgeous. Kyungsoo clutched the broom. They looked so good together.
Oh no. But Kyungsoo was too selfish now. Whereas he would have let go a year ago, maybe even a few months ago, there was no way Kyungsoo was going to let go of Taekwoon now.
He shut off the TV and moved to the study. He began to organize their book collection, by colors and then by language and then by author, and then he moved on to his manga collection and started rearranging that because he had to keep busy. He had to keep moving and thinking of only tomorrow, when Taekwoon would come back. He couldn’t think about what he would do if Taekwoon left him.
✿
The look on Taekwoon’s face had been heartbreaking. Kyungsoo desperately wished he could do something, wished he could change the past few hours, but life wasn’t that kind to him.
It started when Taekwoon had brought home a cat. “It’s a kitten,” he cooed, lifting the crate onto the kitchen table. Smiling, he cuddled the small animal against his chest. “You hold him too.”
Kyungsoo was about to protest when Taekwoon dumped the kitten into his arms. It mewled pitifully, only stopping its cries when Kyungsoo rubbed its stomach. “It’s cute.”
“Isn’t it?” Taekwoon whispered in awe. “It’s our little baby.”
He looked so happy then, so content, that Kyungsoo began to cry. Tears pooled in his eyes, and when he rubbed at them, more came falling down. Hiccuping, he tried to stop only to find his nose running and then the sneezing started.
“It’s not your fault,” Taekwoon later said after returning the kitten. “We should have checked for allergies before I got one.”
“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo glanced at the little pile of cat toys on the table.
“Stop apologizing,” Taekwoon said, gathering the toys. “As long as you’re healthy, it’s fine.”
“What about you?”
Taekwoon paused, fingers brushing lightly over the collar. “Don’t worry about me.”
Kyungsoo distanced himself from Taekwoon for the rest of the day. Every sigh and soft noise he made put Kyungsoo on edge; they reminded Kyungsoo of everything he couldn’t give to him. He would have bought a million cats if it meant Taekwoon could be happy with him.
He was in the middle of searching “How to keep a cat if you’re allergic,” when Taekwoon slid into the chair with him. “Um, I’m sorry-” Kyungsoo started, before he noticed Taekwoon’s wandering hands and the heavy breaths on his neck. “Wh- what’s going on?” he squeaked out. Taekwoon turned his head and kissed him before he could say anymore.
They made love that night. It was clumsy, awkward, and a little painful. At one point, it was more awkward than painful (“Oh my god, what if I get stuck in here, you’re so tight-” “Jung Taekwoon, I swear to god shut up and just- oh god, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.”) and Kyungsoo wanted to melt away in embarrassment but it was still perfect. His heart nearly burst out of his chest when at the end, as their breaths slowed down and he ran trembling fingers through Taekwoon’s hair, he could feel their heartbeats pounding to the same rhythm.
“I love you,” Kyungsoo whispered. Taekwoon looked into his eyes, something unfamiliar flickering in them, before he pressed a kiss to Kyungsoo’s temple and got up.
He loves me
right?
✿
Practices only got harder with age. Kyungsoo collapsed on the floor when Joonmyun called out a break. He didn’t know how Minseok did it. Then again, that hyung was enlisting in a year so he probably saw these rehearsals as the home stretch.
“I think Minseok hyung is secretly stealing our souls.” Chanyeol plopped down next to him. “He still looks twenty-three. Meanwhile, I found four more gray hairs last night.”
“He probably made a deal with Satan,” Kyungsoo muttered. “You should consider it as well.”
“I really should,” Chanyeol replied, staring intently at where Minseok was crushing Zitao (again) in an arm-wrestling contest. “By the way, I heard you moved out?”
“...yeah.”
“Sehun didn’t say anything.” Chanyeol looked over at him, offering a reassuring smile. “I just figured since he moved in with Jongin.”
Kyungsoo swallowed. “I had someone I-”
“Don’t want to know about it,” Chanyeol cut him off, slapping a hand over his mouth. “The less I know, the better. That way when the company asks who the lucky girl is, I can truthfully say I have no idea.”
“Idiot,” Kyungsoo fondly said. “Thanks.”
“Of course! We’re best friends, after all.” Chanyeol tugged him into a hug, nearly choking Kyungsoo as he held them tightly together. Kyungsoo was about to shove him away when Chanyeol’s voice lowered. “Everyone’s noticed that you’re different now. You’re softer.” He let out a tender chuckle. “I haven’t seen this side of you since we were trainees. You just stopped being you one day and…”
“We were all so good at that.”
“Yeah. But I think you were the best. You didn’t even blink when Kris and Luhan hyung left.”
Kyungsoo closed his eyes. “It still hurt.”
“Yeah. It did.” Chanyeol softly patted his back as he stood up. “Four years, huh? Four years for Do Kyungsoo to turn back into a human.” He grinned that full-teeth-one-eye-closed smile Kyungsoo had always adored. The Park Dobi smile. “Don’t lose yourself again, Kyungsoo. It’s hard to find again.”
✿
Kyungsoo buried himself deeper underneath the covers. It was so freezing and the layers of blankets did nothing to relieve the chill in his bones. His head pounded, everything ached, and it was so very, very cold. Whimpering, he curled into a ball.
Taekwoon was gone tonight. Recently, he had been coming home later, always out to a company dinner or meeting coworkers. Kyungsoo fell asleep in an empty bed more often these days, hoping that the time would pass quickly so that he could wake up next to Taekwoon. But even then, Taekwoon was rarely home during the day. Filming. Singing. Working, working, working. Kyungsoo had never realized how dreary and barren silence could be.
His teeth started to chatter and Kyungsoo could feel a sore throat coming on. Yet what hurt the most was the loneliness. Fifty million people in Korea, a million fans across the world, and no one was there for him. Kyungsoo felt strangely detached, alone- something he hadn’t felt in years. Not since he had met Taekwoon.
“Come home, stupid.”
He felt something cool on his forehead. Kyungsoo weakly opened his mouth when he felt water against his lips. He must have fallen asleep, which meant Taekwoon must be back. Kyungsoo tried to blink but his eyelids felt like stones. Giving up, he drifted back into sleep, right as he heard the faint murmurs of “It’ll be okay, Soo.”
✿
To nobody’s surprise, Chanyeol won the newcomer’s award for music production. He had stammered through a five minute speech, cried some ugly tears backstage, and then announced they were all going out for hanu*. “It’s on me!” he shouted, even though everyone knew Joonmyun would end up paying.
Kyungsoo would have preferred to go home, but he couldn’t miss his best friend’s special night. So he followed them to the restaurant where, squeezed in between Sehun and Yixing, he half-heartedly chewed on some lettuce leaves as soju and maekju bottles clanked loudly around him. Kyungsoo wasn’t in the mood for celebration but the excited voices and cheerful laughter of his bandmates brought an affectionate smile to his face. This was better than an empty apartment; it was a good thing he had come.
“Time flies,” Sehun said, watching Chanyeol give a drunken speech (“Dara, I know you’re married but I STILL LOVE YOU!”)
Kyungsoo nodded. “When did seven years go by?”
“Too fast,” Yixing sighed. Reaching over, he tousled Sehun’s hair. “Soon baby Sehun will go to the army.”
“Ugh, why?!” Sehun groaned. Kyungsoo patted his back and placed some meat on his plate.
“You need to get a girlfriend before you leave,” Yixing added.
“What about you guys? You’re enlisting before I am, and none of you have girlfriends!”
“Chinese. ” Yixing pointed at himself. “I’m not required to enlist. And how do you know I don’t have a girlfriend? It’s all a secret but nearly everyone in this industry is dating.”
“Oh really,” Sehun rolled his eyes. “Like who?”
“Like Zhoumi, Henry, Jonghyun.” Yixing ticked the names off his fingers. “And I’m pretty sure Joonmyun is engaged to a Samsung granddaughter or something.”
They all snickered. Kyungsoo snuck a look down the table where Joonmyun was miserably trying to set up poktanju*.
“Oh, Kyungsoo might know this,” Yixing said, turning to him. “You’re friends with Taekwoon, right? Did he tell you he has a girlfriend?”
Kyungsoo dropped his glass. He faintly heard Sehun shout as Yixing moved to clean the mess. “What?”
“Are you okay?” Yixing motioned to the waitress as he picked up shards of glass. Looking up, he frowned when he saw Kyungsoo’s face. “Kyungsoo? Your face is really pale, do you want to leave?”
“No. I’m fine.” Kyungsoo bit his lip. “Sorry, my hand slipped.”
“It was probably just a rumour,” Sehun later said when it was just the two of them left in the parking lot. Kicking at the ground, he shrugged. “You know how people talk around here.”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo clenched his keys, tracing over the engraving on his apartment key. “I’m fine.”
Sehun stared at him as if he didn’t believe a word Kyungsoo said. As if he knew about the monsters in Kyungsoo’s head. “Is this all worth being with him?”
Kyungsoo thought back to a week ago, when Taekwoon had stayed up all night nursing his cold. He had woken up to slightly burned juk* and a bouquet of roses. Best of all, he had woken up wrapped firmly in Taekwoon’s arms. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile because there was no other choice for him. It had to be Taekwoon. He was more than Kyungsoo’s world, more than just his sun or moon or even his stars. He was Kyungsoo’s everything.
Seeing him smile, Sehun sighed. “I hope it’s worth it.”
“He is. He always is.”
✿
Kyungsoo can’t breathe. Something squeezes down on his chest, on his throat, and threatens to drown him. His ears are filled with a deafening buzz. Pained gasps wrack at his chest. It hurts. It’s suffocating and he can’t breathe. It hurts so much. He’s choking. He’s fighting for air when the world is collapsing on him.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
This has to be a nightmare. Taekwoon wouldn’t say those kinds of words. He would never utter those horrible syllables, never waste his breath on such hateful words. Kyungsoo squeezes his eyes shut. Liar. Liar. Liar.
“Let’s never meet again.”
Kyungsoo can’t look up- he can’t. Not if there’s even the slightest chance that there is any truth in those eyes.
“We’re done.”
He loves me not.
✿
“Hyung? Hello?”
“Sehun-ah.”
“Hyung? Where are you? Why are you calling me at this hour?”
The apartment is empty. Books, shirts, some furniture- Taekwoon is gone. Kyungsoo looks around in a daze. He feels so lost.
“Sehun-ah.” His voice cracks.
“Hyung! What happened? Are you okay?!”
“I… I…” How can his body feel numb when his heart is breaking so. Trembling, he sinks to the floor. “I don’t know.”
His everything is gone.
✿
Red. The field, the sky, his skin- everything is red.
"No. This is a dream."
It has to be a dream. He’s going to wake up soon. Kyungsoo stares blankly at his bedroom wall. When he closes his eyes, he sees red poppies, endless skies of poppies that slowly grow around him, suffocate him- and he can't see. He can't breathe. There’s no hand to pull him out.
Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP.
"This is a bad dream," he whimpers. It hurts. It hurts too much.
✿
"Hello?"
"..."
"... is this Kyungsoo?"
Wake up.
"... this is a bad dream, isn't it? Tell me it is, Taekwoon. Tell me I'm dreaming."
"I already told you what this was. It's nothing personal. I just… fell out of love with you. That's it."
Liar. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. Something tears in Kyungsoo's chest and a broken sound escapes from him. "Liar. You said you would never leave me. Liar!"
"... I'm sorry, Soo."
LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. You promised.
He loves me not.
✿
Kyungsoo doesn’t know how he gets in the car. He thinks Sehun might have led him in. Sehun might have also spent last night at his place. Maybe even the past few nights. Kyungsoo recalls his scared voice begging him to eat. Maybe later. He’s too tired right now. He just wants to sleep but he’s terrified of seeing red. Kyungsoo leans his head against the cold window.
“Hyung, I told everyone you’re sick so they wouldn’t ask any questions.” Sehun taps his shoulder. “Are you sure about this? You don’t have to go, you know.”
Go where? A concert. Kyungsoo thinks it’s a concert. Somewhere far away. “I’m going.”
The drive seems short. He’s still staring out the window when Sehun gently tugs him out. Suddenly there are screams and flashes- so many people crowding around, reaching out, pressing against him- and then just like that, it’s over. A ticket is shoved into his hand. Security line. Immigration line. Boarding line. The entire flight, he stares at his hands. Something is missing, something warm that fits perfectly in the spaces between his fingers.
“Hyung.” Sehun is staring at him again. He looks so worried. When did Sehunnie get those wrinkles on his forehead? “We’re here.”
Kyungsoo notices the coordi noona doing touch-ups. Manager hyung gathers their luggage. When did we land? Kyungsoo sees security coming. When did we get off the plane? Sehun pulls him closer as they head for the escalators. He can hear the shouts of fans on the other end.
It’s too much. He stops walking. He’s so very tired. Kyungsoo closes his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he doesn’t see red. Everything is black.
✿
Kyungsoo opens his eyes to see an IV bag. Blinking heavily, he traces the tubes down to his arm. What happened?
“It’ll be okay.”
That voice. That beautiful voice. Kyungsoo whips his head around, whining softly when his vision begins to spin. A warm hand touches his face, another hand slipping into his palm.
“I’m here, Soo.”
Kyungsoo sobs. Tears spill out of him, his body shaking uncontrollably as he wails and wails. Even when Taekwoon gathers him in his arms, clutches him tightly and presses kisses to his temple, Kyungsoo still can’t stop crying. It’s really you.
“H-how did you-” he hiccups. “How did you get here?”
“I begged Sehun.” Taekwoon chuckles softly. “He refused so I promised he could punch me as long as I could see you.” Taekwoon’s grip tightens, his voice throaty as he continues. “I was so scared when I heard you’d collapsed. What were you thinking? How could you not eat, Soo? If I’d known you’d be like this, I would have never…”
Kyungsoo squeezes his eyes shut. “You left me.” Another hiccup. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore.”
“I could never stop loving you.” Taekwoon holds Kyungsoo’s face in his hands, kissing away the tear stains on his cheeks. “But I didn’t know what to do. Soo, I saw that sasaeng. It was that girl, that one that’s been following us around since the beginning. And she knew- I could tell that she knew. “ His eyes are wide, filled with panic and desperation. “She was going to ruin your life.”
Your life. Of course. Of course Taekwoon would be more concerned about Kyungsoo than his own self. Of course he would do something so stupid to protect him. What about you, you big idiot.
He loves me.
✿
The reality is this: The world isn't ready for them. Maybe it would be ready in fours years, maybe in ten- maybe even longer. But not now. Not them. They would probably go to the army, maybe squeeze out a few more comebacks, and then transition quietly into temporary MC jobs or musicals or acting gigs- maybe they would be "lucky" and still be relevant. Taekwoon would probably get married, get a stable job, have kids- and Kyungsoo would probably be there by his side, smiling at every milestone- his best man, his coworker, his son's godfather.
But the reality is also this: Kyungsoo loves Taekwoon.
Unapologetically, unabashedly, simply, selfishly, wonderfully in love with Jung Taekwoon and nothing- not the world, not their companies, fans, members, families, not reality- could ever change that.
✿
“Let’s run away.”
“What?”
“We’re in a different country, so we can get out without anyone noticing. We’ll ride a train or get a car, a boat. We’ll go far away and get away from all of this.” Kyungsoo clutches his hands. “Run away with me.”
Taekwoon licks his lips, fingers wrapping around Kyungsoo’s wrist. “Okay.”
He loves me.
✿
Out of all the members, I'm most sorry to you. We all made a promise seven years ago and I couldn't keep my end of it. I’ll never be able to make it up to you, and I'll probably never see you again, but that doesn't change how sorry I am. You were right from the beginning- I am so selfish. But I love him. It has to be him. Hopefully, you'll never know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry, Sehun.
-Kyungsoo
✿
The train speeds through the countryside, passing by endless stretches of pastures that gradually turn into forests. The sky is bright blue and clear, the sun shining through the windows. They sit in the last car, in the seats near the very back, with two suitcases by their feet. Two one-way tickets are clutched in their hands.
“It’s a good thing we’re doing this now.” Taekwoon’s laugh comes out choked, nearly breaking at the end as he tries to smile through it. He rubs Kyungsoo’s arm, his knee bouncing anxiously against the seat. “Makes group disbandment a lost easier to deal with.”
Kyungsoo smiles weakly at his joke. Yes, if there is any consolation in what they are doing, it is that their members are old enough to handle the loss, and maybe even one day, forgive them. “I guess retirement is coming early for them.”
Taekwoon only manages a tilted grin. He turns to look out the window for a while before yawning. Resting his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, he closes his eyes. Kyungsoo looks down at Taekwoon. He doesn’t know how long they can get away with this- ten years, ten months, ten days. But at this moment, what he does know is that it has to be Taekwoon. Whatever country, world, universe, time they are in- it has to be him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, tracing the lines around Taekwoon’s eyes. He brushes away his hair, fingers trailing down to his lips. “I’m so sorry…”
“For what?” Taekwoon opens his eyes and leans into Kyungsoo’s touch. Kyungsoo feels his heart swell when Taekwoon presses his lips against his wrist.
“I’m going to make it up to you,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “I’ll be by your side forever, no matter what, so please don’t leave me.”
Taekwoon frowns. “I’d never-”
“I love you.” Kyungsoo whispers those words against Taekwoon’s cheeks, lips, hands. “I love you.”
He sees the sun reflected in Taekwoon’s own, a warm orange glow cast across his face as he breathes his love back. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how long they will last- but he knows that as long he is with Taekwoon, everything will be fine.
✿
I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me.
If I had had words to speak such a thing, I would have. But there were none that seemed big enough for it, to hold that swelling truth.
-The Song of Achilles
Notes:
• jondaemal: honorifics used to address those older in age or status
• sebae: traditional bow performed for elders on New Year's day
• hanu: expensive-ass meat
• poktanju:"bomb shot" where a shot of soju is dropped in beer
• juk: korean porridge
Poll