Due South Fanmix: I'm Becoming Untouchable, Fraser/Kowalski, 29 songs
I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS WAY TOO MUCH. *headdesk* Feel free to ignore my ridiculously extensive notes and just dl the mix, listen to it, and form your own opinions. It's probably best that way. :P
I'm Becoming Untouchable (and your love is all I need. Yeah, I'm going north.)
Download I'm Becoming Untouchable <-- ZIP file includes all tracks and cover art.
Notes: I did a very strange thing with this fanmix in terms of the order of the songs. I decided, for a ton of reasons, that the mix can be played three different ways and still have the exact same meaning. With that in mind, I spilt the mix up into two CDs: Fraser and Kowalski. Each of them have 14 songs with 1 bonus song for a total of 29 songs to the mix. The three ways to listen to the mix (that I thought of, not like you have to or anything, obviously) are listening to Fraser's songs then RayK's, RayK's then Fraser's, or switching between the two. The songs are all ordered chronologically from before they meet to post-CotW, which is one of the reasons you could switch it around so much and still have it make sense, IMHO.
I quoted some lyrics, then gave a short description of what the song means for the story, then gave a longer explanation of my thoughts in picking it, in case anyone cares. XD
There are three Regina Spektor songs on this mix. I have no excuse.
Fraser:
Most of Fraser's songs have a similar sound to them, something I attempted to do on purpose. I think there's a sense of sameness to Fraser throughout the series. We see him change gradually, but his character is always a kid who grew up in a frozen wasteland raised by grandparents who love books. A lot of these songs have a feel to them that I thought worked for Fraser, although I have to say the sound of 20 Years of Snow doesn't strike me as Fraser-ish at all, but the lyrics were so perfect that I just had to give in.
01. 20 Years Of Snow - Regina Spektor
He's a wounded animal
He lives in a matchbox
He's a wounded animal
And he's been coming around here
He's a dying breed
He's a dying breed
His daughter is twenty years of snow falling
She's twenty years of strangers looking into each other's eyes
She's twenty years of clean
She never truly hated anyone or anything
She's a dying breed
She's a dying breed
Story: Fraser's father's absence was instrumental in how Fraser was raised. Fraser grows up believing that he needs to be good and look for the best in people, even when others don't give him the same courtesy.
Explanation: Fraser Sr. starts off this song--abandoning his son to work constantly after his wife's death, he's perhaps the most wounded of all the characters on Due South. Fraser plays the role of the daughter here, since he is the epitome of someone who is clean both physically and morally. He makes people uncomfortable with his lifestyle--even other Canadians and Mounties--and he is willing to forgive almost every affront thrown his way. Both Fraser and his father are referred to as "dying breeds" or similar versions thereof (the last of his kind, etc.) in the pilot, as well. This songs sounds incredibly off-putting to me, which works oddly well because I think the viewer is meant to have reservations about Fraser's life.
02. My Skin - Natalie Merchant
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here
That I don't understand
Your face saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises
Sweeten the blow
But I don't need them
No, I don't need them
Story: Victoria was Fraser's only experience with love, and he carried that negativity around for years before it ended in disaster.
Explanation: Victoria twisted Fraser's opinion of what love is supposed to be. Fraser keeps himself apart from all romantic situations and anyone who might have romantic potential. He is untouchable because he has made himself that way, but he can't get past the ridiculously negative emotions Victoria left in her wake.
03. One Man Guy - Rufus Wainwright
People will know when they see this show
The kind of a guy I am
They'll recognize just what I stand for and what I just can't stand
They'll perceive what I believe in
And what I know is true
And they'll recognize I'm a one man guy
Always was through and through
...
I'm gonna bathe and shave
And dress myself and eat solo every night
Unplug the phone, sleep alone
Stay way out of sight
Sure it's kind of lonely
Yeah it's sort of sick
Being your own one and only
Is a dirty selfish trick
Story: Fraser relies on himself more than anyone else.
Explanation: Even when Fraser befriends RayV, he still believes he has to solve his own problems. He doesn't rely on anyone for anything, which makes sense given that Canada kicked him out for abiding the law and bringing a criminal to justice. I also like the alternate idea this song presents in my mind, which is that Fraser is capable of loving only one person at a time. He's a one man guy in the sense of relying on himself but ALSO in that he is loyal to whoever he is romantically attached to. Given that he waited for Victoria for years, this seems canon to me.
04. The Shape I Found You In - Girlyman
You were spoken for
I spent twenty lifetimes at your door
But your heart was busy within
Building bomb shelters under your skin
That's the shape I found you in
That's the shape I found you in
I was calling to you
It was one thing I knew how to do
But my heart tried to cheat
Building safety nets under my feet
So if I fell I would fall right in
That's the shape you found me in
You were delivered to me
We were closed as the stores on Christmas Eve
So I felt around in the dark
Building rope ladders into your heart
Climbing hand over hand to get in
That's the shape I found you in
That's the shape I found you in
Story: RayK is too wrapped up in Stella to notice Fraser's attention--at first.
Explanation: Fraser meets RayK, and although there's an immediate connection, it's too jumbled together with RayV's departure and RayK's obsession with Stella. RayK is a troubled character from the very beginning, and Fraser knows it. While RayK can't get over his ex-wife, Fraser (finally trying to move on from Victoria) attempts to connect with several different women--all ultimately ending in failure. RayK WAS delivered to Fraser almost exclusively thanks to the undercover assignment, but they both had pasts they weren't prepared to discuss or neccessarily move on from. Fraser is able to get RayK to begin to see that there is life after Stella--starting from the memorable scenes in 3x02 when RayK opens up to Fraser about his life in what is obviously an intensely personal way.
05. Cold Cold Heart - Norah Jones
I've tried so hard my dear to show
That you're my every dream
Yet you're afraid each thing I do
Is just some evil scheme
A memory from your lonesome past
Keeps us so far apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart
Another love before my time
Made your heart sad an' blue
And so my heart is paying now
For things I didn't do
In anger unkind words are said
That make the teardrops start
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart
There was a time when I believed
That you belonged to me
But now I know your heart is shackled
To a memory
The more I learn to care for you
The more we drift apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart
Story: Fraser befriends RayK and begins to rely on him as a partner and maybe more. RayK, however, is still focused on Stella and Fraser often gets the brunt of RayK's ensuing frustrations.
Explanation: Fraser really takes to RayK early on, but there's a distance between them that Fraser can't cross. Stella is like a brick wall between them, and Fraser can't see a way to help RayK get over her. Also, the last three verses really strike me as being relevant to MotB. Fraser and RayK DO fight and drift apart just when they've gotten really close.
06. Flake - Jack Johnson
I know she said it's all right
You can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe, maybe she thinks it's fine
Or maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired
I'm so tired of trying
It seems to me that maybe
Pretty much always means no
So don't tell me
You might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
'Cause no one, no, not no one
Likes to be let down
...
Please, please, please don't pass me
Please, please, please don't pass me
Please, please, please don't pass me by
Everything you know about me now, baby, you gonna have to change
Call, call, call it by a brand new name
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me down
Just like that tree by the water, baby, I shall not move
Even after all the silly things you do
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me down
Story: When RayK gets back from Mexico, Fraser doesn't understand their relationship anymore. He wants RayK to look at him differently, but he can't figure out how to get there.
Explanation: Fraser thinks they've solved their problems after MotB, but suddenly RayK's flirting a lot more than he used to with any woman who seems slightly interested. He even goes to Mexico with someone he barely knows. Fraser doesn't want to intrude on RayK's personal space, but he also feels as though he has the right to intrude because their personal spaces are somewhat intwined. Besides that, Fraser becomes more laid-back with RayK in an attempt to get RayK to see him as less stoic. He's willing to put up with whatever stupid shit RayK does as long as he thinks there's hope that something more might come out of their friendship.
07. Beautiful Gun - Moses
I haven’t cried since 1985 but
One look at you, tears are queuing to get out
But I hold them, I hold them, I hold them, yeah
Why do I whisper, do you sleep on a wire
I tiptoe around you, around you, around you now
Beautiful gun
It’s just the fate of the pretty to break those hearts
So just sleep for awhile
See if you smile while you’re sleeping, you’re sleeping
Beautiful gun
I’ve never tried to be anyone else in my miserable life, but
One look at you, wishes are queuing to get out
But I hold them, I hold them, I hold them, yeah
Story: Fraser holds his feelings back because he doesn't know how RayK will react.
Explanation: I feel like this is a great song for Fraser because it shows that Fraser views RayK as someone dangerous and beautiful, someone who is able to threaten and captivate, someone who can be used for good or bad, and someone who is capable of going off at any moment. The RayK as a gun metaphor really works for me. Besides that, there's the idea that RayK forces Fraser to face his emotions, which Fraser really needs to do before he implodes. Also, I like the idea of Fraser wondering what RayK does when he's sleeping--the time when people are at the most unguarded, and therefore when RayK would probably give the most away about how he feels.
08. Again I Go Unnoticed - Dashboard Confessional
So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.
Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?
Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of my eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then.
Story: Fraser thinks RayK doesn't notice how he feels, and he can't tell how RayK feels either, so they're stuck.
Explanation: YES THIS IS THE THIRD SONG IN A ROW ABOUT THEM BEING STUPID. But it still works. Fraser feels like he's getting closer to RayK, but RayK's becoming increasingly agitated. He doesn't know why, although he does know they've been hanging out regularly and RayK hasn't talked about Stella in a while. I put this song about mid-s4-ish. Fraser wants to be with RayK romantically, but he's stuck because he can't figure RayK out. He thinks he understands something, and then it doesn't work out how he wants it to.
09. Amsterdam - Coldplay
Come here, oh my star is fading
and I swerve out of control
and I swear, I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole
but time is on your side
it's on your side now
my pushing you down and all around
it's no cause for concern
come on, oh my star is fading
and I see no chance of release
and I know I'm dead on the surface
but I am screaming underneath
Story:Fraser finally feels like he's had enough. He wants to be with RayK and he's tired of waiting.
Explanation: I feel like closer to the middle-end of s4 there's a sense that Fraser and RayK have reached some sort of climax. Pre-CotW, Fraser starts mentioning more blatantly how he feels, with a memorable scene being when he talks about that he believes in love at first sight while he's looking at RayK. Fraser ignores and doesn't even register the advances of women at this point. He's solely focused on waiting for RayK to get his act together. Also, there's an idea in this song that Fraser appears totally calm but is raging inside, which strikes me as being very IC. Finally, there's the thought that Fraser is out of control when left by himself and he needs RayK to ground him. Love that.
Also, I must point out I feel as though this song MIGHT represent the first time they get together. The idea of time being on RayK's side indicates to me that Fraser's made his move and it's now up to RayK to decide what he wants to do. The whole "pushing you down and all around" line could mean that Fraser's put his foot down and refuses to back away from their relationship, but even so he doesn't want RayK to be concerned about the changes this will have in their lives.
10. Delicate - Damien Rice
We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate
Story: After Fraser and RayK finally get together, they keep their romance a secret.
Explanation: Seems like mostly everyone in fandom agrees that Fraser and RayK keep their relationship hidden due to their jobs. I thought this song showed that with the idea that they're only romantic when they're alone--not because they're afraid of what other people think, but because what they have is new and important to them both. I don't think Fraser or RayK worries too much what other people think--Fraser grew up alone and Dief won't mind RayK being around more; RayK is undercover and therefore was willing to give up his old life, which must mean there was nothing in it that he was very attached to. The second verse in this song reminds me that Fraser must be comparing himself and Stella. He wants RayK to love him unconditionally, but he can't help but wonder if RayK still has feelings leftover for his ex-wife. He's hoping that RayK's moved on, but he's not sure.
11. All I Can Do - Tyrone Wells
Another day slips away
and I get this feeling that nothing has changed
but these years keep coming like waves
they wash over me day after day
I just watch them rolling by
standing here beneath the sky
and I can't hold the hands of time
they will move like they will move
but I can hold your hand in mine
give my time and give my heart
its all that I can do
another night is flying by
somebody's born, somebody dies
I wanna look deep in your eyes
I wanna laugh and I want to cry
Story: Fraser feels like his life continues without changing, but he knows he can work to make sure he stays together with RayK.
Explanation: Even after they get together, Fraser's life is in a state of uncertainty. He's stuck in Chicago, RayV is still undercover, and he can't be openly with RayK. He's homesick and he doesn't feel like he fits in. Still, he knows what's important right now is loving RayK. Everything else might change, but Fraser knows he's found his one true love.
12. The Everthere - Elbow
All my saints have taken bribes
Singing going going gone
All the angels taken dives
Leaving you the only one
If I loose a sequin here and there
More salt than pepper in my hair
Can I rely on you
When all the songs are through
To be for me the everthere, everthere
Slide into another book
Now and then laugh out loud
Throw that very dirty look
That says
OK
Stop staring at me now
If I loose the sequence here and there
Less derring do than quiet care
Can I rely on you
For a good talking to
To be for me the everthere, everthere
If I loose a sequin here and there
And take my time on every stair
Can I rely on you
When this whole thing is through
Story: Fraser can imagine being with RayK for the rest of his life. He just isn't sure if RayK can do the same.
Explanation: Fraser is fed up with living in Chicago. He's tired of all the political manuevering. He just wants to be with RayK by themselves where they can be together without worrying about anybody else. But Fraser's also wondering how RayK feels. He knows they're in love, but he's wondering if it's the real thing or not. He doesn't know if RayK is willing to give up his life in Chicago, and he's not sure he even has the right to ask. This sort-of makes me think of the space in CotW between the scenes where RayK's looking at Fraser riding off and then when they sled off into the sunset together. Clearly, some time passed there, but we don't know how much or what happened. Well, the next two songs fill that gap for me.
13. Waiting In Canada - Jann Arden
Every tear you cry
Every doubt you have
All of these things will pass away
All of your big mistakes
Your little old heart would break
I'm wishing that I could take them back
Write down the things you don't want
Burn them in a glass
Write down the things you dream of
Make a paper plane that flies to heaven
And buy a ticket for a plane and come and see me baby
Or drive your car all night by just starlight to Canada
That's where I'll be
Waiting
All of the empty rooms
All of the silent space
Every warm embrace is you
Nothing is like it was
There's nobody here but us
I have been filled right up with this
Write down the words of sadness
Burn them in a cup
Write down the things you've wanted
Throw them to the wind that's soaring up to heaven
And buy a ticket for a plane and come and see me baby
Or drive your car all night by just starlight
To Canada
Oh buy a ticket for a plane and come and see me baby
Or drive your car all night by just starlight
To Canada
Thats where I'll be
Waiting
Waiting
Story: Fraser decides to stay in Canada while RayK goes back to the states after they've captured Muldoon.
Explanation: This is Fraser's pre-ending song--the second half of what happens in-between the two ending CotW scenes. Because, let's face it, you have to wonder what would happen if RayK and Fraser split up before realizing they're meant to be together. So, here is Fraser's half of the story. He's waiting in Canada for RayK to figure out that they need to be together. He doesn't want to leave Canada, and he hopes that RayK will figure it out and come to meet him there.
14. Further The Sky (feat. Mindy Smith)- The Gabe Dixon Band
When you don't know where you're going and you don't know why
It feels like another day's beating into the night
Lay your head on my chest while my beatin' heart pounds out the secret of this life
The higher you reach
The further the sky
The more miles you walk
The longer the road
The steeper you climb
The harder you stand to fall
The stronger you get
The heavier the load
I wish I could give you the answers and paper and ink
I wish I could stop all the tears before they start falling
But we're feeling our way and we're always beginners
We're all cuts and no scars
...
The bigger the dream
The rougher the ride
The truer the love
The deeper the ache
The blinder the faith
The tougher the go
Story: Fraser and RayK go off in search of the hand of Franklin. Fraser knows RayK's committed to him and he knows they've got a tough adventure ahead, but it's all worth it.
Explanation: The guy singing is Fraser, and the girl is RayK. So I think this is the perfect post-CotW happy ending song for Fraser. He recognizes they're doing this dangerous adventure, and that they're now planning to live together in the Canadian wilderness. He knows RayK's not used to roughing it so much, but he hopes they'll make it because he wants to be with RayK back home, where he feels most comfortable.
Kowalski:
RayK's songs are the opposite of Fraser's musically. He's got some softer songs, but he's a mercurial guy with a lot of conflicting emotions going on at the same time. I tried to pick songs that represented that. He's a punk at heart, but he's also got a strong sense of what's morally right, and he's willing to do just about anything for a good cause--or for what he wants.
01. Chicago - Kate Voegele
I've never known you
But I'm no stranger to this feeling
I know it's over
But the hurt's not
What do you call it
When broken hearts are not done healing
You threw down your cigarette
But it's still hot
Well I've learned a lot
And here's what I've got
Well didn't I think you would always love me?
And didn't I want you to take care of me, baby?
Well that ain't happening, no
And wouldn't I love just to rise above this?
You've gotta believe I've suffered enough to be free
So I'm officially leaving
Just kiss on the cheek and I'm gone
I'll be on the seven o'clock
Oh, oh, the seven o'clock to Chicago
It's never easy
Breaking this old addiction
I've got the reason
But no rationale
I wanna hate you
Cause you don't give me no conviction
Your betrayal ought to make this breakdown
No trouble at all
So let the rubble fall
Cause I'm running off
Story: After divorcing Stella, RayK takes an undercover assignment in Chicago to get away from his life for a while.
Explanation: This is my ultimate perfect pre-s3 RayK song. He's recently divorced and doesn't know what the fuck to do about it. So he takes an undercover assignment in Chicago to escape his problems. Of course, they come with him, but it's all he can think of to do. The lyrics just sound like RayK would say them, too. He's got these conflicting thoughts about Stella--she betrayed him, but he loves her anyway. He's hurting because of her, but he's not sure whose fault that is. He's just focused on Stella right now, and anything else is less important because he's got no room to deal with anything else emotionally.
02. Friend Like You - Joshua Radin
I like the way you're not afraid
You got the world planned in your mind
People say you cannot do well
They don't know a friend like you
The girl you love has gone away
Still too young to know her heart
She'll return her love renewed
'Cause she'll never find a friend like you
When I had no one to call
All the world had shut me down
I showed up at your door so blue
Thank god I had a friend like you
Many times I've gone without a home a meal
A pair of shoes, if you had three you'd give me two
There ain't no other friend like you
Story: RayK meets Fraser and likes him immediately.
Explanation: So RayK meets Fraser and although he thinks the Mountie's weird, he also thinks Fraser's braver and kinder than anyone else he's ever met. Fraser is constantly surprising him, which is great because it keeps RayK on his toes and engaged in the present--and not thinking about Stella. The second verse I put RayV in the role of the girl Fraser loves who has gone away but will come back because of Fraser. It all clicked in my mind, and I think Fraser does love RayV, in a friendly/brotherly way. (RayV always struck me as being really straight anyway, which means I suck at shipping him with any guy. Sorry fandom!)
03. Pretty Buildings - People In Planes
I will dive into my sleep
And I dream of the pretty buildings.
Wonder what she's doing now
And whether she's still living.
Telegraph your points of view
And shepard me from silence.
Sitting in this fit of rage,
I fall down from my pedestal.
I don't wanna feel this low again.
I ain't gonna steal your flame again.
I don't wanna feel...
Cause you know it hurts like hell!
So come out of the closet
Let's talk about it
Cause you know it hurts like hell!
...
Flowers bloom in harmony
And mixtapes from the 60's.
Fueled by the LSD,
He looks into his future
...
Honor came and I was dead
Before I left for school.
We paint the smiles onto our heads
And keep away from the animals.
...
And you know it hurts like hell
So when you reach the top
Just throw yourself off
And you know it hurts like hell
And that's you in a nutshell (x2)
And you know it hurts like hell!
So come out of the closet
Let's talk about it
And you know it hurts like hell!
And that's you in a nutshell!
That's you in a nutshell!
Story: RayK can't get over losing Stella. At the same time, he knows he's got a thing for Fraser and he wishes he could say something.
Explanation: Since it's a long song, I'm going by verses here.
1: RayK still misses Stella. He dreams about her and the life he left behind.
2: He relies on Fraser to keep him calm and focused on the job. Left to his own devices, he gets too angry to do anything except rage.
3: He wants to get over Stella, but he knows that relying on Fraser to do so isn't the right way of going about it. Fraser's got an inner light that appeals to RayK, and he doesn't want to jeopardize that.
4: RayK wants desperately to talk to Fraser about a potential romantic relationship between them. He doesn't know how to get Fraser to open up about whether or not he's into guys, though. He tried asking Fraser whether he was attractive, AND he told Fraser he'd try anything once, but Fraser seems like he's just not getting it--OR that he's so deeply repressed RayK would need the jaws of life to get him out of it.
5: RayK's going over his life, looking for what happened in the past and how it could relate to the future. I took everything in this verse as metaphor--flowers for love, mixtapes for him dancing, LSD for cigarettes or alcohol or else possibly a general statement on how he's not well-connected to reality because he gets obsessed with something and can't let it go.
6: Again with the metaphors--honor for RayK accidentally allowing Stella to escape the bank robbery, not correcting her about what had really happened would be the dead part, the school line shows their ages then, the painted smiles for RayK and Stella both pretending to be happy when they really weren't, and the animals for other people who don't understand them or their relationship (perhaps this could be taken to mean that animals are people who say young couples don't last, and they paint smiles on their faces to show they're happy because they want to live that life).
7: RayK realizes once he reached the end of his marriage with Stella that there was nothing to do but end it, even though ending it felt like ending the best thing in his life. Also, he thinks Fraser constantly strives for perfection in everything and that it will end badly.
8: Again, RayK thinks Fraser and him need to talk about this romance between them, but he's not sure Fraser is willing to discuss it. Or even really knows it exists yet.
04. Liar (It Takes One To Know One) - Taking Back Sunday
All our secrets they are tailored trouble
Draped loose now around your hips
Your spotless instincts are valid
We coexist
Got 26 days to work with (got 26 days)
We got 26 days to work with (it moves, it moves, it moves)
We'll see what all gets done
I'm an addict for dramatics
I confuse the two for love
"You can tell me that you don't beg..."
Liar (liar)
If we're keeping score
We're all choir boys at best
(Intrusive and arrogant)
Liar (liar)
If we're keeping score
We're all choir boys at best
(Intrusive and arrogant)
Got 26 days to work with (got 26 days)
Then back on that island
That you swear by
Still barely can't afford
It's still a question of
How long will this hold?
Is it any different now that we are
Don't you go there not here, not now
(it moves, it moves, it moves)
Not here, not now
...
It takes one to know one
Story: RayK relies on Fraser as a partner but knows that two things are keeping them apart: the tension between them and the idea that RayV will eventually return.
Explanation: A LOT in this song worked for me for RayK to Fraser. Verses again, but not nearly as long this time.
1: Both RayK and Fraser have secrets that are going to haunt them but that are becoming clearer as time progresses. Fraser has spotless instincts when it comes to fighting crime, so RayK is able to maintain a good working relationship with him. They know RayV will return, and this particularly weighs on RayK's mind. It's like there's a time limit to how long they have before they'll have to split up, and he just wants to see what can happen between them before that happens.
2: RayK IS an addict for dramatics. WELL HE IS. And it's clear he loves obsessively and dramatically. He's also been known to beg for both Stella and Fraser's attention. I see Fraser saying that to him because Fraser's not cool with how much RayK pines after Stella when she's around.
3: RayK's immediate reaction to Fraser's actions (the single-minded determination to catch the bad guy, the detached facade, the obsessive nature he has of loving people--similar to RayK's, his unhappiness at watching RayK go after Stella, etc) is to call him on being a liar. Fraser uses the choir boy image perfectly--giving the pretense of being innocent and good, while actually invading people's lives because he thinks he knows what's best for them and that he can help them out.
4: RayK's back to thinking about this time limit he's got with Fraser. He's pushing Fraser, trying to get the Mountie image to crack, and he's hoping he'll get to who Fraser actually is in time. He thinks that Fraser should be relaxed when they're together because of their feelings for each other, but of course neither of them is willing to admit that yet.
5: The final line of the song is RayK's general attitude that he knows Fraser because Fraser is the same as he is--a cop who's had bad luck with women who feels things too deeply and is considered somewhat of an outcast/freak/joke by most people.
05. I Owe You One - Lights
What you've given me is more than I can say.
Cause I don't know the words to thank you properly
You pulled me from the grave and stood me on a hill
And when I was afraid you made me still.
For the love you bring
Owe you everything
For the breath you give
You're my cause to live
For everything under the sun
I owe you one.
Chaos all around
Explosions and fire
You took me off the ground
And lifted me higher.
When trouble knew my name
That was before you
Now I'll never be the same
Now that I know you.
Story: RayK feels indebted to Fraser for being friends with him and for giving him a reason to go on after the divorce.
Explanation: RayK had put everything into his marriage to Stella. Fraser went out of his way to befriend RayK and really make him feel welcome, even though RayK knew Fraser missed RayV and wasn't thrilled about getting a new partner. RayK really feels that Fraser has become the one person he likes, trusts, and can rely on in his new life.
06. Want To - Sugarland
I've packed a cooler and a change of clothes
Let's jump and see how far it goes
You got my heart and your daddy's boat
We got all night to make it float
We could sit on the shore, we could just be friends
Or we could jump in
Whole world could change in a minute
Just one kiss could stop this spining
We could think it through
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
I got your ring around my neck
And a couple of nights I don't regret
You got a dream of a degree
And a shirt that smells like me
Yeah we both got dreams, we could chase alone
Or we could make our own
...
Never waste another day
Wonderin' what you threw away
Holdin me, holdin you
I don't want to, if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose
But I don't want to, but you don't want to
But I want you
Story: RayK starts to wonder if Fraser wants anything more than friendship from him. He'd like to try being with Fraser, but he doesn't want to get rejected and ruin their friendship.
Explanation: RayK is basically ready to get with Fraser, but he has no clue how to read Fraser's signals. He's hoping he's not totally off-base, but there's no way for him to be sure without putting himself out there. Since Fraser's the one major good thing that's happened to him since Stella, he feels like he should probably wait until he's sure how Fraser feels. But he's ready now.
07. What I'm Trying To Say - Stars
You look so good in the clothes of a poser
And when you smiled all the kids fell apart here
I know a place where it's warm and it's dry, dear
Let me take you there
North of the river all the streets are the same
We can pretend that they don't know our name
And the heat is turned all the way to full
So don't pretend that you don't feel the pull
I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
"I love you"
You look so good in the shoes of an outcast
I kissed your throat every time they said it wouldn't last
But then I knew you, I knew you, I knew you
I really knew you
We fell apart in the parties of the empty heart
We danced the junkies in the shadows of bad modern art
We clicked our heels and we wished we were home
One more tab and your silk hits the chrome
...
Springs comes in when I'm rolling up another one
I draw the curtains in the glare of the same old sun
We are collapsed in the act of just being here
Three blues, two greens and a beer...
We are collapsed in the act of just being here
Three blues, two greens and a beer...
...
I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
"I love you"
Story: RayK decides he's going to tell Fraser how he feels, and fuck the consequences. But he's still nervous and he can't exactly say it quite how he wants to.
Explanation: Even though RayK is sure he should man up and admit his feelings for Fraser to Fraser, he's still not sure exactly how to do that. I think most of these lyrics work for Fraser and RayK roaming the Chicago streets together in their shared UST.
08. Light Up The Sky - Yellowcard
You're making choice to live like this,
And all of the noise,
I am Silence.
We already know how it ends tonight,
You run in the dark through a firefight.
And I would explode just to save your life,
Yeah I would explode.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky.
I can't find a wall to pin this to,
They're all coming down since I've found you.
I just wanna be where you are tonight.
I run in the dark looking for some light,
And how will we know if we just don't try,
We won't ever know.
...
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you.
Let me light up the sky,
Just for you tonight.
Let me help you fly,
Cause you won't have time.
To cover your eyes,
Or get your disguise,
They won't ask you why,
They just watch you die.
And it's still so hard to be who you are,
So you play this part,
And the show goes on.
But you've come this far with a broken heart,
Yeah you've come this far,
And you've broken.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you,
I'll ignite for you.
Story: RayK is in love with Fraser. Once he gets back from Mexico, he's done pretending that they're just friends.
Explanation: I think post-MotB RayK really feels closer to Fraser than ever. This song covers both that feeling and how Fraser stands apart from everyone else, both because of Fraser's attitude and general Canadian-ness as well as because of how RayK feels about him.
09. Standing Outside The Fire - Garth Brooks
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned
But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall
We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire
Story: RayK doesn't understand how Fraser can seem uninterested.
Explanation: This song is really about how RayK throws himself into every situation and how he doesn't get Fraser's ability to keep himself so tightly controlled. The "we call them cool" and "we call them strong" verses strike me as being more Fraser-oriented, while the "we call them fools" and "we call them weak" verses are very RayK-oriented.
10. Clockwatching - Jason Mraz
Take off, both your, shoes and clothes, I'll follow.
Undo, corkscrew, drink from the top of a broken bottle.
Lately we're running out of time, aren't we?
Smoking, often, and calling out our guilty pleasures,
Let's keep, talking, anything to stop clockwatching.
Lately we're running out of time, aren't we?
Crazy for running all the time, m-m-m-m-maybe.
Let's forget we're running out of time.
I'm off like an airplane,
I'm licking your postage stamp again.
I'm using my right brain and I'm praying that we don't crash.
Who knew I'd cum so fast.
Well so what if a two pump chump can't last.
But I made it to three, and I foreclose a five minute, fantasy.
On a short-lived flight, making love on economy
No jumping, conclusions,
I don't think there's no solution,
Let's get, backwards,
And forget our restless destination.
Let's live in this moment just this time, could we?
Just take one moment of our time m-m-m-m-maybe.
Let's forget we running out of time.
I'm off like an airplane,
I'm catching my second wind again.
I'm using my left brain
And I'm righting all my wrongs.
I'm yearning to turn you on.
I've been working on getting you off, so get on board.
Well how can I guess by the subject of the best predicate that's left unsaid when the matter is too delicate.
My loneliness is evident.
And its you,
You're running through my mind and it makes me c-c-crazy cra-cra-crazy.
La la la
La la la la la
La la la (ooooooo, so amazing)
La la la la la la
La la la
Laaaa oh oh
Laaaaaa lo oh oh oh
Lady, dreamer, you might be the soundest sleeper,
Tonight, sleep tight, and build your nest upon my shoulder.
Story: RayK finally gets with Fraser, but he immediately feels like they're living on borrowed time thanks to RayV's eventual return.
Explanation: I really think that RayK would have some time to revel gloriously in being with Fraser, but that he would shortly remember that he's living undercover and whatever happens during his time in this job might not last afetr RayV gets back.
11. Vulnerable - Secondhand Serenade
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside, cold outside, it's cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside, cold inside, it's cold inside
And your slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
And it's true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clearer
If you could only see in the mirror what I see
...
Slow down girl -- you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need
Story: RayK loves Fraser totally but he's afraid of how reckless Fraser is with his life. He also doesn't understand why Fraser is so hesitant about their relationship.
Explanation: RayK feels like he's putting himself out there all the time while Fraser is keeping his thoughts and feelings locked away. He's worried about why Fraser is constantly throwing himself into danger.
12. Going North - Missy Higgins
I wanna dance the tango with chance
I wanna ride on the wire
Cos nothing gets done with dust in your gun
And nobody respects a liar
So goodbye for a while I'm off to explore
Every boundary and every door
Yeah I'm going north
I wanna know where children would go
If they never learnt to be cool
Cos nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve
Till nobody thinks you're a fool
So goodbye for a while I'm out to learn more
About who I really was before
Yeah I'm going north
Up where the hunted hide with ease
Under the arms of eye-less trees
Up where the answers fall like leaves
Oh and your love is all I need
Yeah I'm going north
Story: RayK goes to Canada with Fraser during CotW and decides he could live there.
Explanation: RayK really starts thinking about how his future is going to be once RayV returns. He knows he could stay with Fraser, and he's certain that's what he wants. He just doesn't know what Fraser wants. Here's RayK's side of what happens between the two ending CotW scenes.
13. Summer In The City - Regina Spektor
Summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I've been staying up and drinking in a late night establishment
Telling strangers personal things
Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
So I went to a protest just to rub up against strangers
And I did feel like coming but I also felt like crying
It doesn't seem so worth it right now
And the castrated ones stand in the corner smoking
They want to feel the bulges in their pants start to rise
At the site of a beautiful woman they feel nothing but
Anger, her skin makes them sick in the night nauseaous, nauseaous, nauseaous
Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
I've been hallucinating you, babe, at the backs of other women
And I tap on their shoulder and they turn around smiling
But there's no recognition in their eyes
Oh summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And don't get me wrong, dear, in general I'm doing quite fine
It's just when it's summer in the city, and you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
When it's summer in the city
And you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
Story: RayK realizes he can't live happily without Fraser.
Explanation: This is RayK's pre-ending song--the second half of what happens in-between the two ending CotW scenes. I love the idea of RayK going back to Chicago while Fraser stays in Canada. What can I say? They're being stupid. That's what makes it fun. RayK angsts over not being with Fraser here. WIN.
14. Real Love - Regina Spektor
All my little plans and schemes
Lost like some forgotten dream
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you
Just like little girls and boys
Playing with their little toys
Seems like all they really were doing
Was waiting for you
Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone
It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real
From this moment on I know
Exactly where my life will go
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waiting for love
Don't need to be afraid
No need to be afraid
It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real
Thought I'd been in love before,
But in my heart I wanted more
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you
Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone
It's real love
Yes it's real, yes it's real love
It's real, yes it's real love...
Story: RayK finally knows for sure that Fraser is the love of his life. So he goes to Canada to meet up with him again.
Explanation: This is the happy ending song for Kowalski! YAY! He realizes that Fraser is the only one for him and that all of his life he was only waiting to find him. Everything with other girls and Stella wasn't enough for him, even though he thought it was at the time. But now that he has Fraser he knows he has to take his one shot at real love. THIS. YES.
BONUS: Ain't That A Kick In The Head - Dean Martin
How lucky can one guy be;
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?
The room was completely black
I hugged her and she hugged back.
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinning;
I go to sleep and keep grinning;
If this is just the beginning,
My life's gonna be beautiful.
I've sun-shine enough to spread;
It's like the fella said,
"Tell me quick
Ain't love like a kick in the head?"
Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinning;
I go to sleep and keep grinning;
If this is just the beginning,
My life's gonna be beautiful.
She's telling me we'll be wed;
She's picked out a king size bed.
I couldn't feel any better or I'd be sick;
Tell me quick, oh ain't love a kick?
Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head?
Story: FRASER AND RAYK LIVE HAPPILY TOGETHER IN CANADA FOREVER.
Explanation: I THINK THIS IS SELF-EXPLANATORY. XD
Download I'm Becoming Untouchable <-- ZIP file includes all tracks and cover art.
I've x-posted this to fanmix, ds_slash, sergelist, & c6d_universe. Please feel free to leave any comments, questions, criticisms, squeeing, or whatever else you'd like to say. ♥
NOTE: I didn't know there was an epic Fraser vid fenlings made for "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant. Um, sorry? If I'd have known, I might not have included this song in my mix. Ah well. It still works really well. Obviously, since I'm not the first person to think of it. Thanks primroseburrows for pointing this out to me. The vid can be found here.
I've also found out "Amsterdam" by Coldplay has been used in previous FrayK mixes. Ah, well. *headdesk*
I'm Becoming Untouchable (and your love is all I need. Yeah, I'm going north.)
Download I'm Becoming Untouchable <-- ZIP file includes all tracks and cover art.
Notes: I did a very strange thing with this fanmix in terms of the order of the songs. I decided, for a ton of reasons, that the mix can be played three different ways and still have the exact same meaning. With that in mind, I spilt the mix up into two CDs: Fraser and Kowalski. Each of them have 14 songs with 1 bonus song for a total of 29 songs to the mix. The three ways to listen to the mix (that I thought of, not like you have to or anything, obviously) are listening to Fraser's songs then RayK's, RayK's then Fraser's, or switching between the two. The songs are all ordered chronologically from before they meet to post-CotW, which is one of the reasons you could switch it around so much and still have it make sense, IMHO.
I quoted some lyrics, then gave a short description of what the song means for the story, then gave a longer explanation of my thoughts in picking it, in case anyone cares. XD
There are three Regina Spektor songs on this mix. I have no excuse.
Fraser:
Most of Fraser's songs have a similar sound to them, something I attempted to do on purpose. I think there's a sense of sameness to Fraser throughout the series. We see him change gradually, but his character is always a kid who grew up in a frozen wasteland raised by grandparents who love books. A lot of these songs have a feel to them that I thought worked for Fraser, although I have to say the sound of 20 Years of Snow doesn't strike me as Fraser-ish at all, but the lyrics were so perfect that I just had to give in.
01. 20 Years Of Snow - Regina Spektor
He's a wounded animal
He lives in a matchbox
He's a wounded animal
And he's been coming around here
He's a dying breed
He's a dying breed
His daughter is twenty years of snow falling
She's twenty years of strangers looking into each other's eyes
She's twenty years of clean
She never truly hated anyone or anything
She's a dying breed
She's a dying breed
Story: Fraser's father's absence was instrumental in how Fraser was raised. Fraser grows up believing that he needs to be good and look for the best in people, even when others don't give him the same courtesy.
Explanation: Fraser Sr. starts off this song--abandoning his son to work constantly after his wife's death, he's perhaps the most wounded of all the characters on Due South. Fraser plays the role of the daughter here, since he is the epitome of someone who is clean both physically and morally. He makes people uncomfortable with his lifestyle--even other Canadians and Mounties--and he is willing to forgive almost every affront thrown his way. Both Fraser and his father are referred to as "dying breeds" or similar versions thereof (the last of his kind, etc.) in the pilot, as well. This songs sounds incredibly off-putting to me, which works oddly well because I think the viewer is meant to have reservations about Fraser's life.
02. My Skin - Natalie Merchant
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here
That I don't understand
Your face saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises
Sweeten the blow
But I don't need them
No, I don't need them
Story: Victoria was Fraser's only experience with love, and he carried that negativity around for years before it ended in disaster.
Explanation: Victoria twisted Fraser's opinion of what love is supposed to be. Fraser keeps himself apart from all romantic situations and anyone who might have romantic potential. He is untouchable because he has made himself that way, but he can't get past the ridiculously negative emotions Victoria left in her wake.
03. One Man Guy - Rufus Wainwright
People will know when they see this show
The kind of a guy I am
They'll recognize just what I stand for and what I just can't stand
They'll perceive what I believe in
And what I know is true
And they'll recognize I'm a one man guy
Always was through and through
...
I'm gonna bathe and shave
And dress myself and eat solo every night
Unplug the phone, sleep alone
Stay way out of sight
Sure it's kind of lonely
Yeah it's sort of sick
Being your own one and only
Is a dirty selfish trick
Story: Fraser relies on himself more than anyone else.
Explanation: Even when Fraser befriends RayV, he still believes he has to solve his own problems. He doesn't rely on anyone for anything, which makes sense given that Canada kicked him out for abiding the law and bringing a criminal to justice. I also like the alternate idea this song presents in my mind, which is that Fraser is capable of loving only one person at a time. He's a one man guy in the sense of relying on himself but ALSO in that he is loyal to whoever he is romantically attached to. Given that he waited for Victoria for years, this seems canon to me.
04. The Shape I Found You In - Girlyman
You were spoken for
I spent twenty lifetimes at your door
But your heart was busy within
Building bomb shelters under your skin
That's the shape I found you in
That's the shape I found you in
I was calling to you
It was one thing I knew how to do
But my heart tried to cheat
Building safety nets under my feet
So if I fell I would fall right in
That's the shape you found me in
You were delivered to me
We were closed as the stores on Christmas Eve
So I felt around in the dark
Building rope ladders into your heart
Climbing hand over hand to get in
That's the shape I found you in
That's the shape I found you in
Story: RayK is too wrapped up in Stella to notice Fraser's attention--at first.
Explanation: Fraser meets RayK, and although there's an immediate connection, it's too jumbled together with RayV's departure and RayK's obsession with Stella. RayK is a troubled character from the very beginning, and Fraser knows it. While RayK can't get over his ex-wife, Fraser (finally trying to move on from Victoria) attempts to connect with several different women--all ultimately ending in failure. RayK WAS delivered to Fraser almost exclusively thanks to the undercover assignment, but they both had pasts they weren't prepared to discuss or neccessarily move on from. Fraser is able to get RayK to begin to see that there is life after Stella--starting from the memorable scenes in 3x02 when RayK opens up to Fraser about his life in what is obviously an intensely personal way.
05. Cold Cold Heart - Norah Jones
I've tried so hard my dear to show
That you're my every dream
Yet you're afraid each thing I do
Is just some evil scheme
A memory from your lonesome past
Keeps us so far apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart
Another love before my time
Made your heart sad an' blue
And so my heart is paying now
For things I didn't do
In anger unkind words are said
That make the teardrops start
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart
There was a time when I believed
That you belonged to me
But now I know your heart is shackled
To a memory
The more I learn to care for you
The more we drift apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart
Story: Fraser befriends RayK and begins to rely on him as a partner and maybe more. RayK, however, is still focused on Stella and Fraser often gets the brunt of RayK's ensuing frustrations.
Explanation: Fraser really takes to RayK early on, but there's a distance between them that Fraser can't cross. Stella is like a brick wall between them, and Fraser can't see a way to help RayK get over her. Also, the last three verses really strike me as being relevant to MotB. Fraser and RayK DO fight and drift apart just when they've gotten really close.
06. Flake - Jack Johnson
I know she said it's all right
You can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe, maybe she thinks it's fine
Or maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired
I'm so tired of trying
It seems to me that maybe
Pretty much always means no
So don't tell me
You might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
'Cause no one, no, not no one
Likes to be let down
...
Please, please, please don't pass me
Please, please, please don't pass me
Please, please, please don't pass me by
Everything you know about me now, baby, you gonna have to change
Call, call, call it by a brand new name
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me down
Just like that tree by the water, baby, I shall not move
Even after all the silly things you do
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me
Please, please, please don't drag me down
Story: When RayK gets back from Mexico, Fraser doesn't understand their relationship anymore. He wants RayK to look at him differently, but he can't figure out how to get there.
Explanation: Fraser thinks they've solved their problems after MotB, but suddenly RayK's flirting a lot more than he used to with any woman who seems slightly interested. He even goes to Mexico with someone he barely knows. Fraser doesn't want to intrude on RayK's personal space, but he also feels as though he has the right to intrude because their personal spaces are somewhat intwined. Besides that, Fraser becomes more laid-back with RayK in an attempt to get RayK to see him as less stoic. He's willing to put up with whatever stupid shit RayK does as long as he thinks there's hope that something more might come out of their friendship.
07. Beautiful Gun - Moses
I haven’t cried since 1985 but
One look at you, tears are queuing to get out
But I hold them, I hold them, I hold them, yeah
Why do I whisper, do you sleep on a wire
I tiptoe around you, around you, around you now
Beautiful gun
It’s just the fate of the pretty to break those hearts
So just sleep for awhile
See if you smile while you’re sleeping, you’re sleeping
Beautiful gun
I’ve never tried to be anyone else in my miserable life, but
One look at you, wishes are queuing to get out
But I hold them, I hold them, I hold them, yeah
Story: Fraser holds his feelings back because he doesn't know how RayK will react.
Explanation: I feel like this is a great song for Fraser because it shows that Fraser views RayK as someone dangerous and beautiful, someone who is able to threaten and captivate, someone who can be used for good or bad, and someone who is capable of going off at any moment. The RayK as a gun metaphor really works for me. Besides that, there's the idea that RayK forces Fraser to face his emotions, which Fraser really needs to do before he implodes. Also, I like the idea of Fraser wondering what RayK does when he's sleeping--the time when people are at the most unguarded, and therefore when RayK would probably give the most away about how he feels.
08. Again I Go Unnoticed - Dashboard Confessional
So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.
Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?
Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of my eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then.
Story: Fraser thinks RayK doesn't notice how he feels, and he can't tell how RayK feels either, so they're stuck.
Explanation: YES THIS IS THE THIRD SONG IN A ROW ABOUT THEM BEING STUPID. But it still works. Fraser feels like he's getting closer to RayK, but RayK's becoming increasingly agitated. He doesn't know why, although he does know they've been hanging out regularly and RayK hasn't talked about Stella in a while. I put this song about mid-s4-ish. Fraser wants to be with RayK romantically, but he's stuck because he can't figure RayK out. He thinks he understands something, and then it doesn't work out how he wants it to.
09. Amsterdam - Coldplay
Come here, oh my star is fading
and I swerve out of control
and I swear, I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole
but time is on your side
it's on your side now
my pushing you down and all around
it's no cause for concern
come on, oh my star is fading
and I see no chance of release
and I know I'm dead on the surface
but I am screaming underneath
Story:Fraser finally feels like he's had enough. He wants to be with RayK and he's tired of waiting.
Explanation: I feel like closer to the middle-end of s4 there's a sense that Fraser and RayK have reached some sort of climax. Pre-CotW, Fraser starts mentioning more blatantly how he feels, with a memorable scene being when he talks about that he believes in love at first sight while he's looking at RayK. Fraser ignores and doesn't even register the advances of women at this point. He's solely focused on waiting for RayK to get his act together. Also, there's an idea in this song that Fraser appears totally calm but is raging inside, which strikes me as being very IC. Finally, there's the thought that Fraser is out of control when left by himself and he needs RayK to ground him. Love that.
Also, I must point out I feel as though this song MIGHT represent the first time they get together. The idea of time being on RayK's side indicates to me that Fraser's made his move and it's now up to RayK to decide what he wants to do. The whole "pushing you down and all around" line could mean that Fraser's put his foot down and refuses to back away from their relationship, but even so he doesn't want RayK to be concerned about the changes this will have in their lives.
10. Delicate - Damien Rice
We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate
Story: After Fraser and RayK finally get together, they keep their romance a secret.
Explanation: Seems like mostly everyone in fandom agrees that Fraser and RayK keep their relationship hidden due to their jobs. I thought this song showed that with the idea that they're only romantic when they're alone--not because they're afraid of what other people think, but because what they have is new and important to them both. I don't think Fraser or RayK worries too much what other people think--Fraser grew up alone and Dief won't mind RayK being around more; RayK is undercover and therefore was willing to give up his old life, which must mean there was nothing in it that he was very attached to. The second verse in this song reminds me that Fraser must be comparing himself and Stella. He wants RayK to love him unconditionally, but he can't help but wonder if RayK still has feelings leftover for his ex-wife. He's hoping that RayK's moved on, but he's not sure.
11. All I Can Do - Tyrone Wells
Another day slips away
and I get this feeling that nothing has changed
but these years keep coming like waves
they wash over me day after day
I just watch them rolling by
standing here beneath the sky
and I can't hold the hands of time
they will move like they will move
but I can hold your hand in mine
give my time and give my heart
its all that I can do
another night is flying by
somebody's born, somebody dies
I wanna look deep in your eyes
I wanna laugh and I want to cry
Story: Fraser feels like his life continues without changing, but he knows he can work to make sure he stays together with RayK.
Explanation: Even after they get together, Fraser's life is in a state of uncertainty. He's stuck in Chicago, RayV is still undercover, and he can't be openly with RayK. He's homesick and he doesn't feel like he fits in. Still, he knows what's important right now is loving RayK. Everything else might change, but Fraser knows he's found his one true love.
12. The Everthere - Elbow
All my saints have taken bribes
Singing going going gone
All the angels taken dives
Leaving you the only one
If I loose a sequin here and there
More salt than pepper in my hair
Can I rely on you
When all the songs are through
To be for me the everthere, everthere
Slide into another book
Now and then laugh out loud
Throw that very dirty look
That says
OK
Stop staring at me now
If I loose the sequence here and there
Less derring do than quiet care
Can I rely on you
For a good talking to
To be for me the everthere, everthere
If I loose a sequin here and there
And take my time on every stair
Can I rely on you
When this whole thing is through
Story: Fraser can imagine being with RayK for the rest of his life. He just isn't sure if RayK can do the same.
Explanation: Fraser is fed up with living in Chicago. He's tired of all the political manuevering. He just wants to be with RayK by themselves where they can be together without worrying about anybody else. But Fraser's also wondering how RayK feels. He knows they're in love, but he's wondering if it's the real thing or not. He doesn't know if RayK is willing to give up his life in Chicago, and he's not sure he even has the right to ask. This sort-of makes me think of the space in CotW between the scenes where RayK's looking at Fraser riding off and then when they sled off into the sunset together. Clearly, some time passed there, but we don't know how much or what happened. Well, the next two songs fill that gap for me.
13. Waiting In Canada - Jann Arden
Every tear you cry
Every doubt you have
All of these things will pass away
All of your big mistakes
Your little old heart would break
I'm wishing that I could take them back
Write down the things you don't want
Burn them in a glass
Write down the things you dream of
Make a paper plane that flies to heaven
And buy a ticket for a plane and come and see me baby
Or drive your car all night by just starlight to Canada
That's where I'll be
Waiting
All of the empty rooms
All of the silent space
Every warm embrace is you
Nothing is like it was
There's nobody here but us
I have been filled right up with this
Write down the words of sadness
Burn them in a cup
Write down the things you've wanted
Throw them to the wind that's soaring up to heaven
And buy a ticket for a plane and come and see me baby
Or drive your car all night by just starlight
To Canada
Oh buy a ticket for a plane and come and see me baby
Or drive your car all night by just starlight
To Canada
Thats where I'll be
Waiting
Waiting
Story: Fraser decides to stay in Canada while RayK goes back to the states after they've captured Muldoon.
Explanation: This is Fraser's pre-ending song--the second half of what happens in-between the two ending CotW scenes. Because, let's face it, you have to wonder what would happen if RayK and Fraser split up before realizing they're meant to be together. So, here is Fraser's half of the story. He's waiting in Canada for RayK to figure out that they need to be together. He doesn't want to leave Canada, and he hopes that RayK will figure it out and come to meet him there.
14. Further The Sky (feat. Mindy Smith)- The Gabe Dixon Band
When you don't know where you're going and you don't know why
It feels like another day's beating into the night
Lay your head on my chest while my beatin' heart pounds out the secret of this life
The higher you reach
The further the sky
The more miles you walk
The longer the road
The steeper you climb
The harder you stand to fall
The stronger you get
The heavier the load
I wish I could give you the answers and paper and ink
I wish I could stop all the tears before they start falling
But we're feeling our way and we're always beginners
We're all cuts and no scars
...
The bigger the dream
The rougher the ride
The truer the love
The deeper the ache
The blinder the faith
The tougher the go
Story: Fraser and RayK go off in search of the hand of Franklin. Fraser knows RayK's committed to him and he knows they've got a tough adventure ahead, but it's all worth it.
Explanation: The guy singing is Fraser, and the girl is RayK. So I think this is the perfect post-CotW happy ending song for Fraser. He recognizes they're doing this dangerous adventure, and that they're now planning to live together in the Canadian wilderness. He knows RayK's not used to roughing it so much, but he hopes they'll make it because he wants to be with RayK back home, where he feels most comfortable.
Kowalski:
RayK's songs are the opposite of Fraser's musically. He's got some softer songs, but he's a mercurial guy with a lot of conflicting emotions going on at the same time. I tried to pick songs that represented that. He's a punk at heart, but he's also got a strong sense of what's morally right, and he's willing to do just about anything for a good cause--or for what he wants.
01. Chicago - Kate Voegele
I've never known you
But I'm no stranger to this feeling
I know it's over
But the hurt's not
What do you call it
When broken hearts are not done healing
You threw down your cigarette
But it's still hot
Well I've learned a lot
And here's what I've got
Well didn't I think you would always love me?
And didn't I want you to take care of me, baby?
Well that ain't happening, no
And wouldn't I love just to rise above this?
You've gotta believe I've suffered enough to be free
So I'm officially leaving
Just kiss on the cheek and I'm gone
I'll be on the seven o'clock
Oh, oh, the seven o'clock to Chicago
It's never easy
Breaking this old addiction
I've got the reason
But no rationale
I wanna hate you
Cause you don't give me no conviction
Your betrayal ought to make this breakdown
No trouble at all
So let the rubble fall
Cause I'm running off
Story: After divorcing Stella, RayK takes an undercover assignment in Chicago to get away from his life for a while.
Explanation: This is my ultimate perfect pre-s3 RayK song. He's recently divorced and doesn't know what the fuck to do about it. So he takes an undercover assignment in Chicago to escape his problems. Of course, they come with him, but it's all he can think of to do. The lyrics just sound like RayK would say them, too. He's got these conflicting thoughts about Stella--she betrayed him, but he loves her anyway. He's hurting because of her, but he's not sure whose fault that is. He's just focused on Stella right now, and anything else is less important because he's got no room to deal with anything else emotionally.
02. Friend Like You - Joshua Radin
I like the way you're not afraid
You got the world planned in your mind
People say you cannot do well
They don't know a friend like you
The girl you love has gone away
Still too young to know her heart
She'll return her love renewed
'Cause she'll never find a friend like you
When I had no one to call
All the world had shut me down
I showed up at your door so blue
Thank god I had a friend like you
Many times I've gone without a home a meal
A pair of shoes, if you had three you'd give me two
There ain't no other friend like you
Story: RayK meets Fraser and likes him immediately.
Explanation: So RayK meets Fraser and although he thinks the Mountie's weird, he also thinks Fraser's braver and kinder than anyone else he's ever met. Fraser is constantly surprising him, which is great because it keeps RayK on his toes and engaged in the present--and not thinking about Stella. The second verse I put RayV in the role of the girl Fraser loves who has gone away but will come back because of Fraser. It all clicked in my mind, and I think Fraser does love RayV, in a friendly/brotherly way. (RayV always struck me as being really straight anyway, which means I suck at shipping him with any guy. Sorry fandom!)
03. Pretty Buildings - People In Planes
I will dive into my sleep
And I dream of the pretty buildings.
Wonder what she's doing now
And whether she's still living.
Telegraph your points of view
And shepard me from silence.
Sitting in this fit of rage,
I fall down from my pedestal.
I don't wanna feel this low again.
I ain't gonna steal your flame again.
I don't wanna feel...
Cause you know it hurts like hell!
So come out of the closet
Let's talk about it
Cause you know it hurts like hell!
...
Flowers bloom in harmony
And mixtapes from the 60's.
Fueled by the LSD,
He looks into his future
...
Honor came and I was dead
Before I left for school.
We paint the smiles onto our heads
And keep away from the animals.
...
And you know it hurts like hell
So when you reach the top
Just throw yourself off
And you know it hurts like hell
And that's you in a nutshell (x2)
And you know it hurts like hell!
So come out of the closet
Let's talk about it
And you know it hurts like hell!
And that's you in a nutshell!
That's you in a nutshell!
Story: RayK can't get over losing Stella. At the same time, he knows he's got a thing for Fraser and he wishes he could say something.
Explanation: Since it's a long song, I'm going by verses here.
1: RayK still misses Stella. He dreams about her and the life he left behind.
2: He relies on Fraser to keep him calm and focused on the job. Left to his own devices, he gets too angry to do anything except rage.
3: He wants to get over Stella, but he knows that relying on Fraser to do so isn't the right way of going about it. Fraser's got an inner light that appeals to RayK, and he doesn't want to jeopardize that.
4: RayK wants desperately to talk to Fraser about a potential romantic relationship between them. He doesn't know how to get Fraser to open up about whether or not he's into guys, though. He tried asking Fraser whether he was attractive, AND he told Fraser he'd try anything once, but Fraser seems like he's just not getting it--OR that he's so deeply repressed RayK would need the jaws of life to get him out of it.
5: RayK's going over his life, looking for what happened in the past and how it could relate to the future. I took everything in this verse as metaphor--flowers for love, mixtapes for him dancing, LSD for cigarettes or alcohol or else possibly a general statement on how he's not well-connected to reality because he gets obsessed with something and can't let it go.
6: Again with the metaphors--honor for RayK accidentally allowing Stella to escape the bank robbery, not correcting her about what had really happened would be the dead part, the school line shows their ages then, the painted smiles for RayK and Stella both pretending to be happy when they really weren't, and the animals for other people who don't understand them or their relationship (perhaps this could be taken to mean that animals are people who say young couples don't last, and they paint smiles on their faces to show they're happy because they want to live that life).
7: RayK realizes once he reached the end of his marriage with Stella that there was nothing to do but end it, even though ending it felt like ending the best thing in his life. Also, he thinks Fraser constantly strives for perfection in everything and that it will end badly.
8: Again, RayK thinks Fraser and him need to talk about this romance between them, but he's not sure Fraser is willing to discuss it. Or even really knows it exists yet.
04. Liar (It Takes One To Know One) - Taking Back Sunday
All our secrets they are tailored trouble
Draped loose now around your hips
Your spotless instincts are valid
We coexist
Got 26 days to work with (got 26 days)
We got 26 days to work with (it moves, it moves, it moves)
We'll see what all gets done
I'm an addict for dramatics
I confuse the two for love
"You can tell me that you don't beg..."
Liar (liar)
If we're keeping score
We're all choir boys at best
(Intrusive and arrogant)
Liar (liar)
If we're keeping score
We're all choir boys at best
(Intrusive and arrogant)
Got 26 days to work with (got 26 days)
Then back on that island
That you swear by
Still barely can't afford
It's still a question of
How long will this hold?
Is it any different now that we are
Don't you go there not here, not now
(it moves, it moves, it moves)
Not here, not now
...
It takes one to know one
Story: RayK relies on Fraser as a partner but knows that two things are keeping them apart: the tension between them and the idea that RayV will eventually return.
Explanation: A LOT in this song worked for me for RayK to Fraser. Verses again, but not nearly as long this time.
1: Both RayK and Fraser have secrets that are going to haunt them but that are becoming clearer as time progresses. Fraser has spotless instincts when it comes to fighting crime, so RayK is able to maintain a good working relationship with him. They know RayV will return, and this particularly weighs on RayK's mind. It's like there's a time limit to how long they have before they'll have to split up, and he just wants to see what can happen between them before that happens.
2: RayK IS an addict for dramatics. WELL HE IS. And it's clear he loves obsessively and dramatically. He's also been known to beg for both Stella and Fraser's attention. I see Fraser saying that to him because Fraser's not cool with how much RayK pines after Stella when she's around.
3: RayK's immediate reaction to Fraser's actions (the single-minded determination to catch the bad guy, the detached facade, the obsessive nature he has of loving people--similar to RayK's, his unhappiness at watching RayK go after Stella, etc) is to call him on being a liar. Fraser uses the choir boy image perfectly--giving the pretense of being innocent and good, while actually invading people's lives because he thinks he knows what's best for them and that he can help them out.
4: RayK's back to thinking about this time limit he's got with Fraser. He's pushing Fraser, trying to get the Mountie image to crack, and he's hoping he'll get to who Fraser actually is in time. He thinks that Fraser should be relaxed when they're together because of their feelings for each other, but of course neither of them is willing to admit that yet.
5: The final line of the song is RayK's general attitude that he knows Fraser because Fraser is the same as he is--a cop who's had bad luck with women who feels things too deeply and is considered somewhat of an outcast/freak/joke by most people.
05. I Owe You One - Lights
What you've given me is more than I can say.
Cause I don't know the words to thank you properly
You pulled me from the grave and stood me on a hill
And when I was afraid you made me still.
For the love you bring
Owe you everything
For the breath you give
You're my cause to live
For everything under the sun
I owe you one.
Chaos all around
Explosions and fire
You took me off the ground
And lifted me higher.
When trouble knew my name
That was before you
Now I'll never be the same
Now that I know you.
Story: RayK feels indebted to Fraser for being friends with him and for giving him a reason to go on after the divorce.
Explanation: RayK had put everything into his marriage to Stella. Fraser went out of his way to befriend RayK and really make him feel welcome, even though RayK knew Fraser missed RayV and wasn't thrilled about getting a new partner. RayK really feels that Fraser has become the one person he likes, trusts, and can rely on in his new life.
06. Want To - Sugarland
I've packed a cooler and a change of clothes
Let's jump and see how far it goes
You got my heart and your daddy's boat
We got all night to make it float
We could sit on the shore, we could just be friends
Or we could jump in
Whole world could change in a minute
Just one kiss could stop this spining
We could think it through
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
I got your ring around my neck
And a couple of nights I don't regret
You got a dream of a degree
And a shirt that smells like me
Yeah we both got dreams, we could chase alone
Or we could make our own
...
Never waste another day
Wonderin' what you threw away
Holdin me, holdin you
I don't want to, if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose
But I don't want to, but you don't want to
But I want you
Story: RayK starts to wonder if Fraser wants anything more than friendship from him. He'd like to try being with Fraser, but he doesn't want to get rejected and ruin their friendship.
Explanation: RayK is basically ready to get with Fraser, but he has no clue how to read Fraser's signals. He's hoping he's not totally off-base, but there's no way for him to be sure without putting himself out there. Since Fraser's the one major good thing that's happened to him since Stella, he feels like he should probably wait until he's sure how Fraser feels. But he's ready now.
07. What I'm Trying To Say - Stars
You look so good in the clothes of a poser
And when you smiled all the kids fell apart here
I know a place where it's warm and it's dry, dear
Let me take you there
North of the river all the streets are the same
We can pretend that they don't know our name
And the heat is turned all the way to full
So don't pretend that you don't feel the pull
I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
"I love you"
You look so good in the shoes of an outcast
I kissed your throat every time they said it wouldn't last
But then I knew you, I knew you, I knew you
I really knew you
We fell apart in the parties of the empty heart
We danced the junkies in the shadows of bad modern art
We clicked our heels and we wished we were home
One more tab and your silk hits the chrome
...
Springs comes in when I'm rolling up another one
I draw the curtains in the glare of the same old sun
We are collapsed in the act of just being here
Three blues, two greens and a beer...
We are collapsed in the act of just being here
Three blues, two greens and a beer...
...
I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
"I love you"
Story: RayK decides he's going to tell Fraser how he feels, and fuck the consequences. But he's still nervous and he can't exactly say it quite how he wants to.
Explanation: Even though RayK is sure he should man up and admit his feelings for Fraser to Fraser, he's still not sure exactly how to do that. I think most of these lyrics work for Fraser and RayK roaming the Chicago streets together in their shared UST.
08. Light Up The Sky - Yellowcard
You're making choice to live like this,
And all of the noise,
I am Silence.
We already know how it ends tonight,
You run in the dark through a firefight.
And I would explode just to save your life,
Yeah I would explode.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky.
I can't find a wall to pin this to,
They're all coming down since I've found you.
I just wanna be where you are tonight.
I run in the dark looking for some light,
And how will we know if we just don't try,
We won't ever know.
...
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you.
Let me light up the sky,
Just for you tonight.
Let me help you fly,
Cause you won't have time.
To cover your eyes,
Or get your disguise,
They won't ask you why,
They just watch you die.
And it's still so hard to be who you are,
So you play this part,
And the show goes on.
But you've come this far with a broken heart,
Yeah you've come this far,
And you've broken.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you,
I'll ignite for you.
Story: RayK is in love with Fraser. Once he gets back from Mexico, he's done pretending that they're just friends.
Explanation: I think post-MotB RayK really feels closer to Fraser than ever. This song covers both that feeling and how Fraser stands apart from everyone else, both because of Fraser's attitude and general Canadian-ness as well as because of how RayK feels about him.
09. Standing Outside The Fire - Garth Brooks
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned
But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall
We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire
Story: RayK doesn't understand how Fraser can seem uninterested.
Explanation: This song is really about how RayK throws himself into every situation and how he doesn't get Fraser's ability to keep himself so tightly controlled. The "we call them cool" and "we call them strong" verses strike me as being more Fraser-oriented, while the "we call them fools" and "we call them weak" verses are very RayK-oriented.
10. Clockwatching - Jason Mraz
Take off, both your, shoes and clothes, I'll follow.
Undo, corkscrew, drink from the top of a broken bottle.
Lately we're running out of time, aren't we?
Smoking, often, and calling out our guilty pleasures,
Let's keep, talking, anything to stop clockwatching.
Lately we're running out of time, aren't we?
Crazy for running all the time, m-m-m-m-maybe.
Let's forget we're running out of time.
I'm off like an airplane,
I'm licking your postage stamp again.
I'm using my right brain and I'm praying that we don't crash.
Who knew I'd cum so fast.
Well so what if a two pump chump can't last.
But I made it to three, and I foreclose a five minute, fantasy.
On a short-lived flight, making love on economy
No jumping, conclusions,
I don't think there's no solution,
Let's get, backwards,
And forget our restless destination.
Let's live in this moment just this time, could we?
Just take one moment of our time m-m-m-m-maybe.
Let's forget we running out of time.
I'm off like an airplane,
I'm catching my second wind again.
I'm using my left brain
And I'm righting all my wrongs.
I'm yearning to turn you on.
I've been working on getting you off, so get on board.
Well how can I guess by the subject of the best predicate that's left unsaid when the matter is too delicate.
My loneliness is evident.
And its you,
You're running through my mind and it makes me c-c-crazy cra-cra-crazy.
La la la
La la la la la
La la la (ooooooo, so amazing)
La la la la la la
La la la
Laaaa oh oh
Laaaaaa lo oh oh oh
Lady, dreamer, you might be the soundest sleeper,
Tonight, sleep tight, and build your nest upon my shoulder.
Story: RayK finally gets with Fraser, but he immediately feels like they're living on borrowed time thanks to RayV's eventual return.
Explanation: I really think that RayK would have some time to revel gloriously in being with Fraser, but that he would shortly remember that he's living undercover and whatever happens during his time in this job might not last afetr RayV gets back.
11. Vulnerable - Secondhand Serenade
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside, cold outside, it's cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside, cold inside, it's cold inside
And your slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
And it's true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clearer
If you could only see in the mirror what I see
...
Slow down girl -- you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need
Story: RayK loves Fraser totally but he's afraid of how reckless Fraser is with his life. He also doesn't understand why Fraser is so hesitant about their relationship.
Explanation: RayK feels like he's putting himself out there all the time while Fraser is keeping his thoughts and feelings locked away. He's worried about why Fraser is constantly throwing himself into danger.
12. Going North - Missy Higgins
I wanna dance the tango with chance
I wanna ride on the wire
Cos nothing gets done with dust in your gun
And nobody respects a liar
So goodbye for a while I'm off to explore
Every boundary and every door
Yeah I'm going north
I wanna know where children would go
If they never learnt to be cool
Cos nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve
Till nobody thinks you're a fool
So goodbye for a while I'm out to learn more
About who I really was before
Yeah I'm going north
Up where the hunted hide with ease
Under the arms of eye-less trees
Up where the answers fall like leaves
Oh and your love is all I need
Yeah I'm going north
Story: RayK goes to Canada with Fraser during CotW and decides he could live there.
Explanation: RayK really starts thinking about how his future is going to be once RayV returns. He knows he could stay with Fraser, and he's certain that's what he wants. He just doesn't know what Fraser wants. Here's RayK's side of what happens between the two ending CotW scenes.
13. Summer In The City - Regina Spektor
Summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I've been staying up and drinking in a late night establishment
Telling strangers personal things
Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
So I went to a protest just to rub up against strangers
And I did feel like coming but I also felt like crying
It doesn't seem so worth it right now
And the castrated ones stand in the corner smoking
They want to feel the bulges in their pants start to rise
At the site of a beautiful woman they feel nothing but
Anger, her skin makes them sick in the night nauseaous, nauseaous, nauseaous
Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
I've been hallucinating you, babe, at the backs of other women
And I tap on their shoulder and they turn around smiling
But there's no recognition in their eyes
Oh summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And don't get me wrong, dear, in general I'm doing quite fine
It's just when it's summer in the city, and you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
When it's summer in the city
And you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
Story: RayK realizes he can't live happily without Fraser.
Explanation: This is RayK's pre-ending song--the second half of what happens in-between the two ending CotW scenes. I love the idea of RayK going back to Chicago while Fraser stays in Canada. What can I say? They're being stupid. That's what makes it fun. RayK angsts over not being with Fraser here. WIN.
14. Real Love - Regina Spektor
All my little plans and schemes
Lost like some forgotten dream
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you
Just like little girls and boys
Playing with their little toys
Seems like all they really were doing
Was waiting for you
Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone
It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real
From this moment on I know
Exactly where my life will go
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waiting for love
Don't need to be afraid
No need to be afraid
It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real
Thought I'd been in love before,
But in my heart I wanted more
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you
Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone
It's real love
Yes it's real, yes it's real love
It's real, yes it's real love...
Story: RayK finally knows for sure that Fraser is the love of his life. So he goes to Canada to meet up with him again.
Explanation: This is the happy ending song for Kowalski! YAY! He realizes that Fraser is the only one for him and that all of his life he was only waiting to find him. Everything with other girls and Stella wasn't enough for him, even though he thought it was at the time. But now that he has Fraser he knows he has to take his one shot at real love. THIS. YES.
BONUS: Ain't That A Kick In The Head - Dean Martin
How lucky can one guy be;
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?
The room was completely black
I hugged her and she hugged back.
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinning;
I go to sleep and keep grinning;
If this is just the beginning,
My life's gonna be beautiful.
I've sun-shine enough to spread;
It's like the fella said,
"Tell me quick
Ain't love like a kick in the head?"
Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinning;
I go to sleep and keep grinning;
If this is just the beginning,
My life's gonna be beautiful.
She's telling me we'll be wed;
She's picked out a king size bed.
I couldn't feel any better or I'd be sick;
Tell me quick, oh ain't love a kick?
Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head?
Story: FRASER AND RAYK LIVE HAPPILY TOGETHER IN CANADA FOREVER.
Explanation: I THINK THIS IS SELF-EXPLANATORY. XD
Download I'm Becoming Untouchable <-- ZIP file includes all tracks and cover art.
I've x-posted this to fanmix, ds_slash, sergelist, & c6d_universe. Please feel free to leave any comments, questions, criticisms, squeeing, or whatever else you'd like to say. ♥
NOTE: I didn't know there was an epic Fraser vid fenlings made for "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant. Um, sorry? If I'd have known, I might not have included this song in my mix. Ah well. It still works really well. Obviously, since I'm not the first person to think of it. Thanks primroseburrows for pointing this out to me. The vid can be found here.
I've also found out "Amsterdam" by Coldplay has been used in previous FrayK mixes. Ah, well. *headdesk*