Star Trek: We Reach Our Apogee Slowly (Part 4), eventual Kirk/Spock, Spock/Uhura, R
Title: We Reach Our Apogee Slowly (Part 4)
Author: kowaiyoukai
Rating: R
Pairing: eventual like whoa Kirk/Spock (STFU), Spock/Uhura (blame JJ, not me)
Warning(s): Angst, meta, language, attempts at witty banter, overly-important tone, intentionally confusing parts, potentially OOC everybody
Spoilers: Star Trek XI (2009) (a.k.a. Star Trek XI, Star Trek 2009, Star Trek Reboot, New Trek, and can we please just pick one name for this fandom people?!)
Word Count: 7,911 (for this part)
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry, mostly, but also a lot of other people/groups like Paramount, J.J. Abrams, and the various writers/directors. I'm not one of those people, sadly, because if I was I'd be filthy rich.
Beta Acknowledgment: None! I know there are errors, so please let me know if you see any! Thanks!
Summary: Jim quickly realized he was going to have to break the rules if he wanted to survive on the Enterprise.
A/N: This part took longer to get out for three reasons: 1. I've been watching TOS every night to get through it, 2. I've been working on other fic, and 3. Uhura is the hardest character for me to write (so whenever she's in a scene, you can just assume it took me way too long to figure out what she does). I don't want to vilify Uhura, but I equally don't want to make her OOC, and she is very stubborn, intelligent, confident, and focused in XI. It comes across as being bitchy in fic, no matter how hard I try to make her not so bitchy. *le sigh* Also, I keep on writing later parts! *headdesk* But hopefully I'll be getting out at least one chapter a week--that's the goal, anyway. And a question! I need an idea for a mission. I've got a few planned already, but there's space for at least one that I haven't thought of anything for yet. Someone had mentioned they were wondering if I was going to do any TOS eps in here, and I thought if anyone had any plot lines they'd like to see XI-style or else another mission-esque thing they'd like to see happen, just comment with it! Doesn't mean I'll do it, but whatever idea catches my fancy will probably happen. :P Finally: you may or may not be happy to know this fic has over 50,000 words written, and it's not even half-way yet. I could've done this for a Big Bang, lol. \o/ I need a new summary, I hate the one I have. Ideas? OMG, LONG!A/N IS LONG.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
There was something incredibly entertaining about the idea of Uhura being attracted to Spock, and Jim reminded himself of that every time he saw them together and felt slightly nauseous. He remembered the first time he had seen them together-in the transporter room, when Uhura had kissed Spock without even a second thought to the fact that Jim had been right there, watching them. It had been so disconcerting, so completely out of the blue, that Jim could only stare at them in shock. He had noticed how Uhura had been totally involved in the kiss and that Spock had been… well, not. Jim had never had a problem before with public displays of affection, but for some reason that one kiss had really gotten to him.
Not that Jim though badly of either of them. Uhura was an incredible person-smart, caring, witty, and quite simply amazing to look at. Spock was… well, Spock. There were no words to describe him that Jim could come up with, although he figured he might be able to wave his hands around for a while to indicate the level of frustration and tension that went along with everything Spock entailed. There was absolutely no reason why Uhura should want to be with someone like Spock, especially when she had so clearly not wanted to be with Jim. It was odd, really, that a woman would reject him continuously for so long only to end up with the exact opposite sort of man she should be with. Uhura needed a man who could appreciate her and, given that disastrous kiss, Jim was quite sure Spock wasn't that man. Actually, Jim was also sure he himself wasn't that man either, so it ended up that Jim decided Uhura should just give up on Spock and find someone else entirely to try for.
Not that Spock was a bad choice. Actually, Jim figured Spock would be an amazing person to be with. He was conscientious, courteous, kind, and incredibly unselfish. He was intelligent, which allowed for great in-depth discussions about basically anything, but also equally aware that sometimes people were just irrational and wanted to do stupid things for no reason whatsoever. He didn't say too much against those acts of stupidity, even if his raised eyebrow spoke volumes. Plus, his dry humor was so entertaining that Jim found himself looking forward to their next round of verbal sparring almost immediately after their last had ended. He was good in a crisis and could be counted on in a fight, he had a clear sense of morals and knew the value of life, and he held himself accountable for all of his actions. Besides that there was an air about him that suggested a superiority complex, yet whenever he was spoken to he would always treat everyone equally. Also, Jim had eyes and it wasn't like he could miss that Spock was attractive. He had a regal figure and an appealing face, with eyes that were as dark and mysterious as the rest of him. And, if Jim was being honest, those pointy ears were interesting enough to provide hours of entertainment. Plus, he could easily recall those hands attacking him, one wrapped around his throat, and the strength in them was unexpected and incredibly hot. Jim could imagine what those hands could do, if Spock allowed them to.
Not that Jim imagined anything of the sort. Because he didn't. At least, not any more than he imagined getting with everyone else. But, in all fairness to Spock, the reason Uhura and him weren't a good match was not because of any faults on Spock's side. It was just that Jim couldn't see them working together. He knew Spock wasn't really into her, and she seemed to quite easily ignore that because she believed she could eventually win him over. What Uhura didn't seem to grasp yet was that Spock wasn't the kind of guy a person could win over. People either had a connection with him or they didn't. Jim had known he and Spock had a connection the first time they had met, when Spock had stood up and called him a cheater. At the time, Jim had thought his feelings were that intense because of the situation, but now he could tell it was a sign of how much he would come to enjoy the other man's company and friendship. For some reason, Jim doubted Uhura had felt much of anything at all the first time she had seen Spock, probably in one of her linguistics classes.
As far as Jim was concerned, the longer their relationship went on, the harder it was going to be for everyone involved. It was technically none of his business, but he hated seeing two people he knew so well get messed up over something like this. Of course, he never intended to say this to her, ever. As far as Jim was concerned, Uhura would never know his thoughts on the matter of her decision to date Spock. Anyway, it wasn't like anything he said would make a difference. Spock had already confided in him, and Uhura would never listen to his advice. Ever. The Enterprise could be on the verge of destruction, Jim could have ordered everyone to evacuate, and she would still be at her station, translating messages and gathering information until she either died or was dragged out. In any other situation besides her current one, that attitude was admirable.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few days after his physical and still wary of McCoy jumping out at him with a needle and a determined look in his eyes, Jim walked into the lift only for Uhura to follow him in. Just seconds into the lift's descent, Uhura pressed the stop button and Jim eyed her nervously, reminding himself that he was the captain and she really couldn't get away with doing anything to him. Probably.
"What are you doing?" Uhura asked, and Jim raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.
"Funny, that's my question." He gestured briefly at the stop button. "If you've finally accepted your feelings for me, there's easier ways to let me know."
Uhura glared at him. "Funny. And here I thought it was you who couldn't get over me."
Jim laughed, unable to stop himself or control it even a little, and her glare darkened. "Excuse me?" he asked, still grinning. "Sorry, honey, but you're not that hot." She kind of was, but he wasn't about to tell her that.
"Don't call me honey," she said.
Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, fine. And I was never into you anyway."
"You weren't?" she asked, and the glare lessened to be replaced by clear disbelief.
"No, I wasn't," Jim said, speaking slowly. "It was just a bit of flirting, everyone does it. I kept doing it because you were so against it. It was funny, that's all. No big deal." He shrugged. "Can we go now? I'm an important person, you know. I've got work to do."
"If you didn't like me, then why are you acting this way?"
"What way?"
Uhura sighed. "You know what I'm talking about."
"No, I really-"
"Every time you see Spock and me together, you glare at us," she said. "And sometimes you look kind of ill."
"I do not," Jim said, scoffing.
"You do," she said. "Every time."
"Well, if I did, which I don't, it's nothing to do with you, so don't worry about that," Jim said. He quickly realized he was going to be stuck in the lift all day if he didn't tell Uhura something, so he figured he may as well say what he really thought. "I just don't think you and Spock make a good match. That's all. It's nothing personal." Uhura looked at him for a long minute, long enough that Jim felt his body tense up. "What?" he finally asked. "I already told you what you wanted to know. Say what you want or let me out of this damn lift."
Uhura stared at Jim for a moment, her annoyed expression slowly transforming into a scowl. "I can't believe you," she muttered. "What are you saying, that Spock's too good for me? That I'm not good enough for him?"
"No," Jim protested, already wishing there would be no consequences if he just pulled rank and was done with it. But he knew Uhura, and he knew she'd find a way to get back at him for it. "That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?" she asked, crossing her arms and waiting for his answer.
"I…," Jim trailed off, unsure what he should say. "I just meant that you and Spock don't really work well together. You just don't strike me as people who mesh together, okay?"
"‘People who mesh together?'" Uhura repeated, scoffing. "What does that even mean?"
"It means I just think you could find somebody better to be with than Spock," Jim said, throwing his hands up in frustration.
Uhura narrowed her eyes. "So you've got a problem with Spock, then?"
"What?" Jim asked, shaking his head. "No, of course not, Spock's great."
"So what did you mean, somebody better than Spock?" She titled her head at him in a small, unspoken challenge.
"I meant somebody better for you, you know, someone who…" Jim hesitated, now wishing he could erase the last five minutes of this conversation entirely.
"Who what?" Uhura pressed. "Someone who what?"
Jim licked his lips, wondering what he could possibly say that would get him out of this situation. He wouldn't betray the confidence Spock had placed in him when they had spoken about Spock's distinct lack of feelings for his girlfriend. Even though Spock had not asked him to keep quiet about it, there was a level of trust Jim placed in his friendships that he would never betray. Jim firmly believed that when friends spoke to one another, those conversations were meant for each other alone, especially when they dealt with personal issues. If they had been talking about their opinions on music or the latest gossip, Jim would have no problem passing those thoughts along, although the very idea of Spock having an opinion on music or the latest gossip was somehow so hilarious Jim had to laugh. He stifled it quickly, but of course it was too late.
Uhura glared at him. "What's so funny?"
Jim sighed. "Nothing. Nothing's funny." Before Uhura could respond, he continued, "Look, it's just my own opinion, all right? It's got nothing to do with anything, really. Feel free to ignore me."
Uhura lifted her finger and pressed the start button, which caused the lift to move again, pleasing Jim to no end. "I will," she said, shortly. "It's just that I wish you wouldn't be this way." She shrugged. "I know you and Spock are friends. I don't want him to feel like he has to choose between us." Jim had no idea what to say to that, so he kept silent. "I think it's better for him to have more people around right now, anyway."
"I agree," Jim stated.
"Well," Uhura said, pausing uncertainly. "Good." In another two seconds the lift stopped at the next floor and she stepped off it. "And Spock and I make a great couple."
"Oh, really?" Jim replied.
"We understand each other intellectually," Uhura said, looking supremely confident in her analysis of the situation. "Then again, you wouldn't know the first thing about that, would you?"
Jim grinned. "You know me. If it's more complicated than eat, sleep, or fuck, I'm lost."
Uhura rolled her eyes. "Truly, it was a great day for the Federation when they made you a Captain."
The door closed, leaving just enough time for Jim to reply, "Yep," before the lift moved away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spock did not approve of spending their free time on the same planets they were visiting for diplomatic purposes. It seemed contrary in every way to speak with the political leaders of the world during the day and visit the bars and nightclubs, or whatever locations the planet had that were a suitable equivalent, at night. Spock knew that the vast majority of planets accepted their presence and welcomed them. In fact, most people they visited believed the crew of the Enterprise was learning about the culture of the world and how to interact with the citizens there. It was an excellent excuse, and one he was sure Jim would use many times in the future, regardless of the fact that it was an obvious lie.
They were all in one such location now. The current world's inhabitants were quite friendly, which pleased Spock to no end. Attempting to maintain good diplomatic relations with the races who were immediately distrustful of outsiders was always cause for distress. This race was kind and entertaining, providing the ship's crew with food from various regions across the planet as well as jokes and explanations about why they were funny when the crew didn't understand the punch lines.
Sulu had stayed on the bridge. It was his turn to monitor everything while almost everyone else had fun. Scotty had stayed behind just in case, but he hadn't complained as much as he usually did about this. A few of the night crew had volunteered to stay and take an extra shift as well, which allowed more people to visit this planet than usual. Spock knew the crew had such a strong desire to visit the friendly natives here because the last three planets they had come across had all been either deserted or the natives had simply been uninterested in entertaining travelers.
So it was truly no surprise to see the crew acting in ways that clearly conflicted with Starfleet regulations. Spock wasn't pleased to watch the crew behaving with such recklessness, but this was something he had learned about humans very early into his career. They would entertain themselves first and foremost, caring the most for their own happiness and pleasure. It was a trait Spock did not fully understand, but he was beginning to learn to expect it.
Still, watching Jim behave like an idiot was setting Spock's teeth on edge. There really was no point to flirting with these beings since they were clearly biologically incompatible with humans. They possessed five limbs which they either used to balance themselves or to hold objects or touch one another, and shooting upwards from the center of their limbs was one column of flesh which split into two heads. Spock knew there was absolutely no chance Jim would engage in sexual acts with any of them. Unfortunately, that knowledge only made the Captain's flirting even more intolerable. Spock did not understand the constant need Jim had to have intercourse. It was a biological imperative and as such should not be ignored, yet Jim seemed to be more focused on sex than any of the other humans Spock had met.
It really was quite annoying.
"Hey, Spock." That accent could only have belonged to one person, and Spock was unsurprised when Chekov took a seat at the otherwise empty table Spock had been sitting at. "This is some place, yeah?"
Spock inclined his head. "Indeed."
"You should have a drink or something," Chekov continued. "Who knows when we'll be able to have time off the ship again?"
"Alcohol does not affect my body the way it affects yours," Spock said in a monotone. He couldn't help but look over at Jim again, watch the way he was flirting with incompatible life forms and consuming large quantities of liquor, and inwardly scowl. "However, if alcoholic beverages produced the same physiological effects on my body as they do on humans, I would not wish to drink them in order to avoid publically humiliating myself."
Chekov blinked and looked suitably impressed. "Wow," he said. "That's some logic." Then he turned around to follow Spock's gaze and laughed. "Oh, Captain Kirk?" Chekov faced Spock again and waved a hand dismissively. "You can't base your logic off him. I doubt he's had half as much as the rest of us."
"His behavior would suggest otherwise," Spock replied, feeling oddly argumentative. It really shouldn't matter what Jim's behavior was like, except that it reflected poorly on their crew. As First Officer, it was part of Spock's job to ensure the well-being of the crew. Surely this fell under that category.
Chekov snorted. "The Captain? He behaves like this all the time." He peered closer at Spock and then bit his lower lip. "You do know he always flirts? That it doesn't mean anything?"
"The Captain's personal life is of no consequence to me," Spock replied.
"Of course, yeah, you're right," Chekov hurried to agree. "But you seem…"
Spock raised one eyebrow in a high arch. "I seem what?"
Chekov shook his head and waved his hands in front of him. "No, nothing, never mind." He shrugged. "I'm sure it's just me." He chuckled. "Really sure."
"Mind if I join you?"
Spock looked over at Uhura, who strode up to them and pulled out an empty chair. She sat in it and put her glass on the table, filled with a blue liquid that seemed highly questionable in content. She was sitting at an angle that blocked Jim from Spock's view, but quickly Spock realized this was a good thing. He would be spared having to witness his Captain's idiocy any further.
"Uhura," Chekov greeted, lifting his own drink. She lifted hers and they clinked their glasses together before taking a few swallows each. "Where have you been?"
"There were a few messages I had to translate before I could get down here," she said, sighing. "A xenolinguist's work is never done. You know how it is."
"Yeah. Well, no, not exactly, but in principle, yeah." Chekov smiled. "But you're here now."
"I'm here now," Uhura repeated. "And I hope you've kept my boyfriend entertained." She looked at Spock and titled her head towards him. "Is this guy bothering you?" she asked, smiling to show that she was teasing him.
"No," Spock answered. He moved his head slightly over to see Jim looking in his direction. The Captain raised one hand in greeting, but Spock only turned his head to look at Uhura once more. "I have been engaging in conversation with Ensign Chekov. It has not been bothersome."
"Boyfriend?" Chekov repeated, after a slight pause that followed Spock's response. "But I thought…"
"Hm?" Uhura asked, looking at him with a small smile. "What?"
"Never mind, it doesn't matter," Chekov said, laughing. He seemed more embarrassed than he should have been. "Enjoy yourselves." He left the table, clutching his drink and looking for other crew members to speak with.
Uhura shook her head and shrugged. "Who knows what that was about."
Spock remained silent, recognizing the half-statement half-question as being rhetorical and therefore not requiring an answer. He was slowly understanding the patterns in human speech, which were much more complex than they at first appeared to be. One day he hoped to be able to master the language's intricacies, but for now he contented himself with the occasional insight.
"So," Uhura continued, once it became clear Spock was not planning on starting a conversation. "How are you?"
"I am as well as can be expected," Spock replied. "How are you?"
"I'm good," Uhura said. "And glad we're off the ship for a bit."
"It is nice to have free time," Spock said. He looked towards Jim again, and the Captain was staring at him, holding up a hand and obviously attempting to get his attention. Spock looked towards Uhura, ignoring Jim for the second time.
She waited a few seconds before smiling at Spock and asking, "Want to dance?"
Spock stared at her. "No," he stated.
"Oh." Uhura pursed her lips and nodded once. "Okay. I just thought it might be fun."
"I have no desire to dance," Spock repeated.
"All right, that's fine," Uhura said, tone light and still upbeat. "What do you want to do, then?"
"I have no particular interest at this time," Spock stated.
"Spock!" Jim shouted, walking over to their table with no warning. Uhura narrowed her eyes at him, clearly frustrated by his sudden presence, but Spock only gave him a brief reprimanding look complete with raised eyebrow. "That was cold," Jim said, sliding into the seat next to Spock with the grace that came naturally to him. "Really cold."
"If you expect me to understand the meaning of that statement, you are mistaken," Spock replied, looking towards the bar and the seat Jim used to occupy. "My studies of English have yet to include inebriated ramblings."
"Ouch," Jim said, putting a hand over his heart dramatically. "That hurt me, Spock. Inside."
"We're trying to have a conversation here," Uhura said, sighing. "Even you should be able to figure that out."
Jim and Spock both frowned, although no one noticed Spock's since it was gone almost instantaneously. "Ah, come on," Jim griped. "Chekov was just here."
"The difference," Uhura started, pausing mid-way through her sentence for dramatic effect, "is that I actually like Chekov."
"She doesn't like me," Jim said, whispering loudly to Spock. "Your girlfriend has a problem with me."
"I was unaware you harbored negative feelings towards Captain Kirk," Spock said, directing his comment and stare at Uhura.
Uhura blushed. "Ah, um, no," she said, too quickly. "I like him well enough. I mean, you know, we get along."
"We do?" Jim asked. Uhura glared at him and he quickly said, "We do. Yes. We do. Get along. That's what we do."
"Shut up now," Uhura said, kicking Jim under the table.
"Okay," Jim replied. He grinned at her, practically dripping with satisfaction. "See? We get along," he said. "Told you it could happen."
"When?" Uhura asked. "When did you tell me we could get along?"
"In my head," Jim responded. "When I was trying to convince you not to kill me."
"I do not understand," Spock said.
"That makes two of us," Uhura replied. "Look, Captain, if you don't mind, we're just trying to have some time together." When Jim didn't move to leave, she added, "Alone."
Jim sighed. "All right, all right," he said. "I'll leave you to it." He raised his drink to them and took a long swallow before pivoting on the balls of his feet and marching off back to the bar.
Spock watched him go for a few seconds before he looked at Uhura. "Why did you ask Captain Kirk to leave?"
"Hm?" Uhura asked, looking at Spock blankly. "Because I thought we could spend some time alone together?"
"You did not ask Ensign Chekov to leave," Spock pointed out.
"Yeah, but Chekov knew to leave when I got here. Kirk," Uhura said, pausing to shake her head slowly, "would have just sat here without giving us any consideration at all."
"I do not mind Captain Kirk's company," Spock replied. "I do not understand why you wanted him to leave."
Uhura looked at Spock for a moment before smiling. "I wanted to spend some time with you. You know, just the two of us. Like I said before." She shrugged. "This is the first time we've been off the ship together since we left Earth. I thought it would be nice."
"This is also the first opportunity I have had to spent time with Captain Kirk off of the Enterprise since we left Earth," Spock pointed out.
Uhura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but you're not dating him, are you?"
"No, I am not." Spock gave her answer a moment's thought before he continued, "Is it a human tradition to only spend free time with a romantic partner?"
"Of course not," Uhura said. "Why would you think that?"
"Then I am afraid I still do not understand why it is unacceptable to spend time with Captain Kirk while we are off of the Enterprise," Spock stated.
"It's not-," Uhura said, cutting herself off quickly. "Listen. Spock. You can choose who you want to spend your time with. I just thought that we should hang out for a while since we're dating. And usually, people prefer to spend time with who they're dating when they go out like this."
Spock considered this, briefly. "I understand your point. However, your answer does not explain why it was acceptable to speak with Ensign Chekov and not with Captain Kirk." Uhura groaned. "I apologize for my confusion. I fail to see the difference between them."
"The difference is that Kirk's annoying as shit," Uhura said, immediately grumpy. "He's a pain in the ass to deal with. Seriously, Spock, I don't understand how you can be friends with him."
"Captain Kirk does have a strong personality," Spock replied.
"You think?" Uhura asked, sarcasm dripping off her tongue.
"However I believe that only adds to his appeal," Spock said.
"His appeal," Uhura said, monotone.
"Indeed. His positive attitude makes him an admirable Captain and a worthwhile friend," Spock stated. "I believe your negative feelings towards him are unfounded."
"You say that now," Uhura said, blandly. "Wait until he starts flirting with you. Then see how you like his attitude."
Spock raised one eyebrow. "I highly doubt Captain Kirk will engage me in the human practice of flirting."
"Kirk flirts with anything that moves, and most of them can't form coherent sentences." Uhura paused. "And plenty of things that don't move, come to think of it." She laughed and smiled at Spock, clearly amused. "If you think you're getting out of it just because you're taken, think again."
"As I said, I highly doubt-"
Uhura cut him off. "He probably already has. You just didn't realize." Spock remained silent, wondering if that could be true. "Look, forget it. It doesn't matter. He's not being serious, anyway. It's just that's what irritates me about him, you know? He flaunts it so much. God, I can't stand that."
"I see," Spock replied. He didn't, though. Not really. The idea of anyone not liking Jim was so completely foreign to Spock that he couldn't even form a base to understand the concept on. Yes, he could agree with Uhura that Jim's flirtatious nature could be annoying, but that didn't mean every aspect of him was equally so.
"Look, let's not talk about Kirk anymore," Uhura said. "We have to deal with him all the time. When we're off-ship, let's just enjoy ourselves, all right?"
Spock looked over at Jim, who was back at the bar and making a complete spectacle of himself. He was flirting with another of the aliens, one hand holding a glass of some orange liquid and the other hand gesticulating wildly in the air. If it was true that Jim was not serious when he flirted, then Spock had no idea why he would continue to do so. Human nature was still troubling more often than not.
"Yes," Spock said after a few seconds had passed. "We should take this opportunity to entertain ourselves."
"Exactly," Uhura said, smiling. "Exactly."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The first time Uhura kissed him, less than an hour after he had reached helplessly out to catch his mother only for his fingers to meet empty air, Spock didn't even think about what she was doing. His mind was so completely focused on his outstretched hand and the image of his mother falling, even as the thin lines of light began to appear around her, haunted him. He could see her face, clearly, looking at him with all the love and acceptance no one else had ever been able to give him. She seemed to say I understand or perhaps I forgive you or maybe a simple good-bye.
When Uhura asked him what he needed, he had been honest. The only thing he had wanted-the only thing he had needed-was for the crew to continue to perform admirably. If everything had gone the way it should have, he would have led the Enterprise towards eventual revenge. The crew would have suspected, but no one would have had the nerve to say anything to him because at that point Jim had already been marooned on Delta Vega and he was the only one who ever said anything to Spock besides yes, sir and his rank followed by a string of urgent life-threatening information. Spock would have led them all to their doom in a foolhardy quest to get revenge. He would have been too late to save Earth and an untold number of other planets, and he would never have known another option was available. His revenge would have killed them all, every member of the Federation, and the fact that even now no one knew that except Spock himself was disconcerting.
(Marooning Jim on Delta Vega was something Spock could envision becoming something of a joke between them in the future. When they were older and passably wiser, more comfortable with themselves and each other, maybe even with a closer friendship than they had now-that's when it would be funny. It would become a reminiscence, something to chuckle about when the situation was dire and people were dying or when everything was fine and they were simply bored. Hey, Spock, hey, remember when you marooned me on Delta Vega? Jim's face would still be a mirror of all his emotions, so Spock knew his eyes would be lit up and his grin would crawl across his face as if it had all the time in the world to get where it wanted to be. Yes. That's all Spock would say, just that one word, and it would be enough. Jim would shake his head, still grinning because that expression lived on his face, had carved out a permanent space for itself so that Spock noticed when it was absent and wondered where it had gone. There were monsters there, Spock. Monsters! You stuck me on an abandoned ice cube filled with man-eating monsters! Often that would be the end of the imaginary scenario. Spock couldn't picture what would come after that, what he would do with Jim's grin directed towards him, accusing him of something they should have both long forgotten. Sometimes, though, sometimes Spock imagined he would say more, maybe You deserved it or the dishonest I would do so again if the situation called for it. Jim would laugh at that and Spock would watch him as he laughed. Sometimes he smiled.)
Kissing Uhura had been absolute last on Spock's list of concerns for the day. After Jim had saved them all with his illogical decision and Spock had some time to consider the events, he had to remind himself that humans were illogical creatures. Uhura had offered herself as consolation for the loss of Spock's mother, even though they both knew there could be no replacement. However, she did not want to replace who Spock had lost. Rather, Uhura wished to become someone important in her own right. Spock could not think too much on the subject because whenever he did, he was forced to conclude that beginning any relationship when he was under such duress was an intrinsically flawed idea. He had not been in a state of mind to consider what she was offering, and by the time he was she believed he had already accepted her.
Uhura was a truly magnificent person in many ways. However, Spock knew that she was simply a human with all the failings that implied. Uncontrollable emotion and illogical thought were what he should have expected. She began a romantic relationship while he was in mourning. While he was coping with an ending, she was creating a beginning. They were on different wavelengths, unable to connect at the same time no matter which frequency they tried. His unresponsive behavior towards her romantic initiatives only compelled her to take more forceful action. Spock wished he knew of a way to show her that her efforts, while appreciated in theory, were not welcome in practice. Jim would have been better at this. He was the one who knew how to handle women. However Uhura seemed to be a mystery to Jim as well, and Spock knew he would have to find his own way in this matter.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The worst disaster in all of Starfleet history occurred almost a month to the day from when the Enterprise had left Earth. Jim had been sitting in his chair, his comfortable, lovely chair, swiveling around in it as he was prone to do when bored. It was the perfect way to keep an eye on everybody on the bridge at once, and if he sometimes swiveled a little too fast, well, he was only trying to keep everyone on their toes. It wouldn't do for his crew to start thinking he wasn't paying attention to them. Jim was in mid-swivel, slowly moving past Uhura, eyeing her speculatively, when the entire ship shook, throwing him half off the chair with his legs sprawled haphazardly on the ground.
"Report," Jim snapped, quickly getting to his feet and looking around. It was then he realized that everyone else was still seated, looking at him with expressions ranging from anxious to amused. "What? I said report."
"Captain, there is no damage to the ship," Spock replied.
Jim took a moment to be thankful he had one officer on the bridge who would report when asked to, even if the report made no sense. "Then what-" Jim cut himself off as he pivoted around, looking at his chair with horror.
His chair-his beautiful, wonderful, marvelous chair-had broken at the base. The top of it was half-off, tilted and resting heavily against the floor. Jim stared at it for a few seconds, surveying the damage, his look of horror slowly being replaced by one of sadness.
"It appears your chair has collapsed," Spock stated, way too calmly given the gravity of the situation.
Uhura started laughing, and a few small giggles and chuckles followed soon after.
"Get maintenance down here right away," Jim said. "This is a priority one."
Uhura rolled her eyes and turned back to her station. "Maintenance, to the bridge, please. Maintenance, to the bridge."
"Right away," Jim hissed.
Uhura sighed. "Immediately," she added before switching off the microphone.
The maintenance crew member, named Hartford, was a middle-aged man who seemed more amused than concerned with the dire state of his chair. Jim would have to look into his record. He might be mentally unbalanced.
"Was it sabotage?!" Jim shouted. His hands twisted in the edges of his shirt and he paced nervously behind Hartford. "Is there a traitor on board?!"
"For the third time, it's not anyone's fault," Hartford said, sighing. "It will only take about an hour to fix."
"An hour?" Jim asked, horrified. "What am I supposed to do until then?"
"Try standing," Spock suggested. "I assume your feet work as well as your mouth does."
Chekov spluttered, coughing and smacking his chest a few times. "Sorry, excuse me," he said, gasping. "It's just… something…" He gestured wildly to his forehead. "In my throat." His eyes widened. "I didn't mean… my head! I meant head." He looked horrified. "No, that's not what I meant! I wasn't thinking about-it was a mistake! I swear! I don't know anything!"
Jim sighed. "Does anyone have any idea what he's saying?" There was utter and complete silence. "All right, that's great." He looked at Sulu. "Can you shut him up? Please?"
"I can try, sir," Sulu said, getting up to stand next to Chekov supportively. He knelt next to Chekov and started making comforting noises. "It's okay. Don't worry, you're all right."
"But I-"
"Just, just don't worry," Sulu said, shushing Chekov. "Don't worry about it."
"Thanks. I've got more important matters to deal with," Jim said, looking back at his chair mournfully. "How can it be an accident? It had to have been intentional."
"I did inform you that constantly swiveling in the chair might cause the mechanism to collapse," Spock stated.
Jim stared at him. "Did you just say ‘I told you so'?"
"No," Spock replied. "I said that I had previously informed you that constantly swiveling-"
"You did," Jim said, shocked. "You said ‘I told you so'!"
Spock blinked once, slowly. "I did inform you."
Jim shook his head and looked back at Hartford. "I just don't get it," he said. "I mean, this is a new ship. The chair is new."
"Parts are often recycled from older ships," Hartford replied. He was lying on his back, doing something to the bottom of the chair that Jim assumed would end up with it fixed. "It's not uncommon for things to break, especially if they're used more than they're made for."
"That's pretty shoddy manufacturing, if you ask me," Jim said, frowning. He ignored the silence on the bridge, determined not to let his crew's silent mockery get to him. "It shouldn't just break like that."
"Do you understand?" Hartford said, sighing. "It's on this metal bar. And there's this screw-like mechanism inside the bar. So if you keep on going around and around in the same direction very quickly, it can break."
Jim frowned. "I don't like it."
Hartford didn't reply. In just under an hour he was finished, during which time Jim had made life hell for everyone on the bridge by standing over each of their shoulders to scrutinize their work. As soon as the chair was fixed, Jim was at Hartford's side, arms crossed and inspecting the chair thoroughly.
"It will still swivel," Hartford said, anticipating Jim's question. "But you have to go easy on it. Too much pressure, and the whole thing'll fall apart."
"How much is too much?" Jim asked.
Hartford shrugged. "I don't know. It'll be fine for normal use."
"So what's not normal use?"
Hartford paused and then said, "Captain, if you're swiveling fast enough so that your surroundings blur, that's not normal use. The chair can break if used that way. Sir."
Jim frowned. "I've never gone that fast." Uhura cleared her throat. "Oh, okay, fine, maybe one time. But just the once!"
"If that's all, Captain?" Hartford asked, holding his tool box and looking like he would rather not be in the middle of an argument on the bridge.
"Yeah, that's all," Jim said. "Good work, Hartford."
"Thank you, sir."
Hartford left and the bridge went back to its normal routine. Chekov was relatively sane, or at least he wasn't muttering to himself any more, and Sulu only looked at him once every few minutes. Uhura was scanning various frequencies for any messages coming their way. Spock was… well, Jim wasn't ever exactly sure what Spock was doing. His First Officer actually was in charge of quite a lot, but he was absolutely sure that Spock was working on something equally important and boring.
Jim sat in his chair and moved it slightly, a few inches to the right. It swiveled smoothly. He immediately let out the breath he'd been holding, ready to take on whatever happened to fall their way in this section of the galaxy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next time Uhura spoke to Spock alone was a few days after they had been in the bar. Spock hadn't had any particular reason to seek her out, so he simply hadn't. He had been thinking about a few other things-how to act more human, whether or not he should eventually visit New Vulcan since his alternate self was there, if there was a way to be more sociable with the crew, if he should mention to Jim that his obvious flirtations with everyone made both himself and Uhura uncomfortable, if it would be wise to take on another night shift since productivity was down during those hours-and for some reason, his relationship with Uhura had not made it onto his mental list of things to consider. They had agreed on six months, they had recently spent time together, and he saw no reason to think any more on it than that.
"Spock," Uhura called. Spock stopped and turned around, glancing back down the way he had just come from. "Got a minute?"
"Yes," Spock said.
"Can we talk?" Uhura asked.
"I was on my way to the bridge."
"It'll only take a minute."
This was one of those human expressions that Spock was learning. They were meant to induce the listener to comply with whatever was being said, even though the statement was false. Spock only knew this because the other two times Uhura had stated something "would only take a minute" had both lasted closer to ten minutes. Luckily, he was in no real rush to get to the bridge. There was no disaster waiting for him to take care of and he knew Jim had everything under control. It wouldn't do any harm for him to speak to Uhura. Spock nodded and Uhura smiled.
"Good, let's talk in here." She walked a bit further down the corridor until she reached one of the many recreation rooms in the ship. It was empty, which was no surprise given the time of day. Most people were directly in the middle of working right now.
Spock followed her in and sat in one of the chairs, waiting until she sat down across from him to speak. "What do you wish to speak about?"
Uhura folded her hands in front of her, lying them on the table. "Okay. I want to start by saying that I don't want to fight, and I'm not trying to attack or insult you."
"I understand," Spock said.
"It's just that…" Uhura trailed off, frowning. "When we agreed to try being together for six months, I thought it would be different."
"How so?" Spock asked.
"Well, you haven't really been acting like we're together," Uhura stated.
"I apologize," Spock replied. "I have no experience with human customs in this matter."
"No, no, it's not that," Uhura said, shaking her head once, forcefully. "I know you have different customs, and that's fine. I accept that."
Spock waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he said, "I do not understand what the problem is. Will you please explain?"
"The problem is," Uhura started, sighing. "I guess the problem is that I'd hoped you would open up to me." Spock looked at her, confused. "I mean that it seems like you're becoming closer to other people, and there's this distance between us that I can't seem to cross."
"I see," Spock replied. "However, I do not believe I am becoming closer to other people." In fact, although he didn't want to tell Uhura this, once Sulu had pointed it out he had noticed how far apart he really was from the rest of the crew. It was strange that Uhura and Sulu would have different opinions on this.
"Well, all right, not just other people," Uhura said, agreeing. "I meant Kirk. You seem like you're getting really… close to him."
"Captain Kirk and I are friends," Spock said. "It is quite natural in every culture for friends to become closer as they spend time together."
"Yes, but that's my point," Uhura said. "I mean, you're spending all your free time with Kirk. I feel like you should be spending some of that time with me."
"I see."
"Not all of it, of course not," Uhura quickly added. "I think it's great that you have a good friend. But, since we're dating, it's only logical that we spend time together. And if you spend all of your free time with him…"
"Then I have no free time left over to spend with you," Spock finished. "Yes, I see your point."
"Besides, you're getting…" Uhura sighed and looked at her hands. "Really close to him."
"I am?" Spock asked, surprised.
"Yes, you are," Uhura stated. "Like at the memorial service-" She immediately cut herself off, looking guilty. "Sorry, never mind. I shouldn't-sorry."
"Please continue," Spock said. "I would appreciate knowing your concerns so I may address them."
Uhura swallowed, obviously nervous. "Okay. I guess that's fair." She looked at Spock and said, "Kirk was the only one you let near you. You practically ignored everybody else, myself included. But you talked to him, and…" She shrugged. "He made you feel better. I'm glad about that, don't get me wrong. But…"
"Yes?" Spock asked when Uhura had paused for long enough that it seemed like she wasn't going to finish her thought.
"I wanted to be the one to make you feel better," Uhura said. "It sounds childish, I know. But we are dating, after all, and I want to be the one you can rely on for things like that."
"I was grieving and unable to think clearly at that time," Spock said. "If I had-"
"No, you don't have to defend yourself," Uhura said. "Like I said, I'm happy you felt better. If it was Kirk who did it, well, that's how it goes sometimes." She bit her lower lip and then continued. "It's just that when we were at the bar, the same thing happened. I wanted to spend time with you, Kirk comes up, and suddenly all you want to do is talk about him."
"When you brought your irritation to my attention, I stopped talking about Captain Kirk," Spock replied.
"Yeah, I know," Uhura said. "But the point is that you wanted to keep talking about him. You were thinking about him. And we don't have that much time together, so when we are together, I want you to think about me. Okay? Only me."
Spock took a moment to consider what Uhura had said. It was true that, in most romantic relationships, the people involved turned to each other for support during difficult times. It was equally true that those people thought about each other the most often and wanted to spend the most time with each other. However, Spock was not in that kind of relationship with Uhura. He had wanted to end their relationship, and she had convinced him into continuing it. Given that situation, it was completely illogical for her to expect a similar reaction from him as she would have gotten from a person who was more invested in a relationship with her than he was. Unfortunately, it seemed as if saying that to Uhura would be an incredibly bad idea. She seemed to want Spock to pretend as though he truly wanted to be in this relationship, regardless of his own feelings on the matter.
"I cannot promise that I will be able to control my thoughts," Spock said. "Occasionally, thoughts come into my mind without any logical reason to be there. I believe it is similar for humans. However, I will make an effort to control my actions in order to spend more time with you."
Uhura nodded. "All right. That sounds fair to me."
"Then we are agreed," Spock replied. "Now I must get back to the bridge. Captain Kirk is waiting for me to return."
Uhura rolled her eyes, sighing. "All right. I'll meet you on the bridge in a few, then."
Spock got up and left the room, only noticing briefly from the corner of his eye as Uhura's forehead landed with a thump on the table.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Part 5
Feedback makes me gleeful. :D
Author: kowaiyoukai
Rating: R
Pairing: eventual like whoa Kirk/Spock (STFU), Spock/Uhura (blame JJ, not me)
Warning(s): Angst, meta, language, attempts at witty banter, overly-important tone, intentionally confusing parts, potentially OOC everybody
Spoilers: Star Trek XI (2009) (a.k.a. Star Trek XI, Star Trek 2009, Star Trek Reboot, New Trek, and can we please just pick one name for this fandom people?!)
Word Count: 7,911 (for this part)
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry, mostly, but also a lot of other people/groups like Paramount, J.J. Abrams, and the various writers/directors. I'm not one of those people, sadly, because if I was I'd be filthy rich.
Beta Acknowledgment: None! I know there are errors, so please let me know if you see any! Thanks!
Summary: Jim quickly realized he was going to have to break the rules if he wanted to survive on the Enterprise.
A/N: This part took longer to get out for three reasons: 1. I've been watching TOS every night to get through it, 2. I've been working on other fic, and 3. Uhura is the hardest character for me to write (so whenever she's in a scene, you can just assume it took me way too long to figure out what she does). I don't want to vilify Uhura, but I equally don't want to make her OOC, and she is very stubborn, intelligent, confident, and focused in XI. It comes across as being bitchy in fic, no matter how hard I try to make her not so bitchy. *le sigh* Also, I keep on writing later parts! *headdesk* But hopefully I'll be getting out at least one chapter a week--that's the goal, anyway. And a question! I need an idea for a mission. I've got a few planned already, but there's space for at least one that I haven't thought of anything for yet. Someone had mentioned they were wondering if I was going to do any TOS eps in here, and I thought if anyone had any plot lines they'd like to see XI-style or else another mission-esque thing they'd like to see happen, just comment with it! Doesn't mean I'll do it, but whatever idea catches my fancy will probably happen. :P Finally: you may or may not be happy to know this fic has over 50,000 words written, and it's not even half-way yet. I could've done this for a Big Bang, lol. \o/ I need a new summary, I hate the one I have. Ideas? OMG, LONG!A/N IS LONG.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
There was something incredibly entertaining about the idea of Uhura being attracted to Spock, and Jim reminded himself of that every time he saw them together and felt slightly nauseous. He remembered the first time he had seen them together-in the transporter room, when Uhura had kissed Spock without even a second thought to the fact that Jim had been right there, watching them. It had been so disconcerting, so completely out of the blue, that Jim could only stare at them in shock. He had noticed how Uhura had been totally involved in the kiss and that Spock had been… well, not. Jim had never had a problem before with public displays of affection, but for some reason that one kiss had really gotten to him.
Not that Jim though badly of either of them. Uhura was an incredible person-smart, caring, witty, and quite simply amazing to look at. Spock was… well, Spock. There were no words to describe him that Jim could come up with, although he figured he might be able to wave his hands around for a while to indicate the level of frustration and tension that went along with everything Spock entailed. There was absolutely no reason why Uhura should want to be with someone like Spock, especially when she had so clearly not wanted to be with Jim. It was odd, really, that a woman would reject him continuously for so long only to end up with the exact opposite sort of man she should be with. Uhura needed a man who could appreciate her and, given that disastrous kiss, Jim was quite sure Spock wasn't that man. Actually, Jim was also sure he himself wasn't that man either, so it ended up that Jim decided Uhura should just give up on Spock and find someone else entirely to try for.
Not that Spock was a bad choice. Actually, Jim figured Spock would be an amazing person to be with. He was conscientious, courteous, kind, and incredibly unselfish. He was intelligent, which allowed for great in-depth discussions about basically anything, but also equally aware that sometimes people were just irrational and wanted to do stupid things for no reason whatsoever. He didn't say too much against those acts of stupidity, even if his raised eyebrow spoke volumes. Plus, his dry humor was so entertaining that Jim found himself looking forward to their next round of verbal sparring almost immediately after their last had ended. He was good in a crisis and could be counted on in a fight, he had a clear sense of morals and knew the value of life, and he held himself accountable for all of his actions. Besides that there was an air about him that suggested a superiority complex, yet whenever he was spoken to he would always treat everyone equally. Also, Jim had eyes and it wasn't like he could miss that Spock was attractive. He had a regal figure and an appealing face, with eyes that were as dark and mysterious as the rest of him. And, if Jim was being honest, those pointy ears were interesting enough to provide hours of entertainment. Plus, he could easily recall those hands attacking him, one wrapped around his throat, and the strength in them was unexpected and incredibly hot. Jim could imagine what those hands could do, if Spock allowed them to.
Not that Jim imagined anything of the sort. Because he didn't. At least, not any more than he imagined getting with everyone else. But, in all fairness to Spock, the reason Uhura and him weren't a good match was not because of any faults on Spock's side. It was just that Jim couldn't see them working together. He knew Spock wasn't really into her, and she seemed to quite easily ignore that because she believed she could eventually win him over. What Uhura didn't seem to grasp yet was that Spock wasn't the kind of guy a person could win over. People either had a connection with him or they didn't. Jim had known he and Spock had a connection the first time they had met, when Spock had stood up and called him a cheater. At the time, Jim had thought his feelings were that intense because of the situation, but now he could tell it was a sign of how much he would come to enjoy the other man's company and friendship. For some reason, Jim doubted Uhura had felt much of anything at all the first time she had seen Spock, probably in one of her linguistics classes.
As far as Jim was concerned, the longer their relationship went on, the harder it was going to be for everyone involved. It was technically none of his business, but he hated seeing two people he knew so well get messed up over something like this. Of course, he never intended to say this to her, ever. As far as Jim was concerned, Uhura would never know his thoughts on the matter of her decision to date Spock. Anyway, it wasn't like anything he said would make a difference. Spock had already confided in him, and Uhura would never listen to his advice. Ever. The Enterprise could be on the verge of destruction, Jim could have ordered everyone to evacuate, and she would still be at her station, translating messages and gathering information until she either died or was dragged out. In any other situation besides her current one, that attitude was admirable.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few days after his physical and still wary of McCoy jumping out at him with a needle and a determined look in his eyes, Jim walked into the lift only for Uhura to follow him in. Just seconds into the lift's descent, Uhura pressed the stop button and Jim eyed her nervously, reminding himself that he was the captain and she really couldn't get away with doing anything to him. Probably.
"What are you doing?" Uhura asked, and Jim raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.
"Funny, that's my question." He gestured briefly at the stop button. "If you've finally accepted your feelings for me, there's easier ways to let me know."
Uhura glared at him. "Funny. And here I thought it was you who couldn't get over me."
Jim laughed, unable to stop himself or control it even a little, and her glare darkened. "Excuse me?" he asked, still grinning. "Sorry, honey, but you're not that hot." She kind of was, but he wasn't about to tell her that.
"Don't call me honey," she said.
Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, fine. And I was never into you anyway."
"You weren't?" she asked, and the glare lessened to be replaced by clear disbelief.
"No, I wasn't," Jim said, speaking slowly. "It was just a bit of flirting, everyone does it. I kept doing it because you were so against it. It was funny, that's all. No big deal." He shrugged. "Can we go now? I'm an important person, you know. I've got work to do."
"If you didn't like me, then why are you acting this way?"
"What way?"
Uhura sighed. "You know what I'm talking about."
"No, I really-"
"Every time you see Spock and me together, you glare at us," she said. "And sometimes you look kind of ill."
"I do not," Jim said, scoffing.
"You do," she said. "Every time."
"Well, if I did, which I don't, it's nothing to do with you, so don't worry about that," Jim said. He quickly realized he was going to be stuck in the lift all day if he didn't tell Uhura something, so he figured he may as well say what he really thought. "I just don't think you and Spock make a good match. That's all. It's nothing personal." Uhura looked at him for a long minute, long enough that Jim felt his body tense up. "What?" he finally asked. "I already told you what you wanted to know. Say what you want or let me out of this damn lift."
Uhura stared at Jim for a moment, her annoyed expression slowly transforming into a scowl. "I can't believe you," she muttered. "What are you saying, that Spock's too good for me? That I'm not good enough for him?"
"No," Jim protested, already wishing there would be no consequences if he just pulled rank and was done with it. But he knew Uhura, and he knew she'd find a way to get back at him for it. "That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?" she asked, crossing her arms and waiting for his answer.
"I…," Jim trailed off, unsure what he should say. "I just meant that you and Spock don't really work well together. You just don't strike me as people who mesh together, okay?"
"‘People who mesh together?'" Uhura repeated, scoffing. "What does that even mean?"
"It means I just think you could find somebody better to be with than Spock," Jim said, throwing his hands up in frustration.
Uhura narrowed her eyes. "So you've got a problem with Spock, then?"
"What?" Jim asked, shaking his head. "No, of course not, Spock's great."
"So what did you mean, somebody better than Spock?" She titled her head at him in a small, unspoken challenge.
"I meant somebody better for you, you know, someone who…" Jim hesitated, now wishing he could erase the last five minutes of this conversation entirely.
"Who what?" Uhura pressed. "Someone who what?"
Jim licked his lips, wondering what he could possibly say that would get him out of this situation. He wouldn't betray the confidence Spock had placed in him when they had spoken about Spock's distinct lack of feelings for his girlfriend. Even though Spock had not asked him to keep quiet about it, there was a level of trust Jim placed in his friendships that he would never betray. Jim firmly believed that when friends spoke to one another, those conversations were meant for each other alone, especially when they dealt with personal issues. If they had been talking about their opinions on music or the latest gossip, Jim would have no problem passing those thoughts along, although the very idea of Spock having an opinion on music or the latest gossip was somehow so hilarious Jim had to laugh. He stifled it quickly, but of course it was too late.
Uhura glared at him. "What's so funny?"
Jim sighed. "Nothing. Nothing's funny." Before Uhura could respond, he continued, "Look, it's just my own opinion, all right? It's got nothing to do with anything, really. Feel free to ignore me."
Uhura lifted her finger and pressed the start button, which caused the lift to move again, pleasing Jim to no end. "I will," she said, shortly. "It's just that I wish you wouldn't be this way." She shrugged. "I know you and Spock are friends. I don't want him to feel like he has to choose between us." Jim had no idea what to say to that, so he kept silent. "I think it's better for him to have more people around right now, anyway."
"I agree," Jim stated.
"Well," Uhura said, pausing uncertainly. "Good." In another two seconds the lift stopped at the next floor and she stepped off it. "And Spock and I make a great couple."
"Oh, really?" Jim replied.
"We understand each other intellectually," Uhura said, looking supremely confident in her analysis of the situation. "Then again, you wouldn't know the first thing about that, would you?"
Jim grinned. "You know me. If it's more complicated than eat, sleep, or fuck, I'm lost."
Uhura rolled her eyes. "Truly, it was a great day for the Federation when they made you a Captain."
The door closed, leaving just enough time for Jim to reply, "Yep," before the lift moved away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spock did not approve of spending their free time on the same planets they were visiting for diplomatic purposes. It seemed contrary in every way to speak with the political leaders of the world during the day and visit the bars and nightclubs, or whatever locations the planet had that were a suitable equivalent, at night. Spock knew that the vast majority of planets accepted their presence and welcomed them. In fact, most people they visited believed the crew of the Enterprise was learning about the culture of the world and how to interact with the citizens there. It was an excellent excuse, and one he was sure Jim would use many times in the future, regardless of the fact that it was an obvious lie.
They were all in one such location now. The current world's inhabitants were quite friendly, which pleased Spock to no end. Attempting to maintain good diplomatic relations with the races who were immediately distrustful of outsiders was always cause for distress. This race was kind and entertaining, providing the ship's crew with food from various regions across the planet as well as jokes and explanations about why they were funny when the crew didn't understand the punch lines.
Sulu had stayed on the bridge. It was his turn to monitor everything while almost everyone else had fun. Scotty had stayed behind just in case, but he hadn't complained as much as he usually did about this. A few of the night crew had volunteered to stay and take an extra shift as well, which allowed more people to visit this planet than usual. Spock knew the crew had such a strong desire to visit the friendly natives here because the last three planets they had come across had all been either deserted or the natives had simply been uninterested in entertaining travelers.
So it was truly no surprise to see the crew acting in ways that clearly conflicted with Starfleet regulations. Spock wasn't pleased to watch the crew behaving with such recklessness, but this was something he had learned about humans very early into his career. They would entertain themselves first and foremost, caring the most for their own happiness and pleasure. It was a trait Spock did not fully understand, but he was beginning to learn to expect it.
Still, watching Jim behave like an idiot was setting Spock's teeth on edge. There really was no point to flirting with these beings since they were clearly biologically incompatible with humans. They possessed five limbs which they either used to balance themselves or to hold objects or touch one another, and shooting upwards from the center of their limbs was one column of flesh which split into two heads. Spock knew there was absolutely no chance Jim would engage in sexual acts with any of them. Unfortunately, that knowledge only made the Captain's flirting even more intolerable. Spock did not understand the constant need Jim had to have intercourse. It was a biological imperative and as such should not be ignored, yet Jim seemed to be more focused on sex than any of the other humans Spock had met.
It really was quite annoying.
"Hey, Spock." That accent could only have belonged to one person, and Spock was unsurprised when Chekov took a seat at the otherwise empty table Spock had been sitting at. "This is some place, yeah?"
Spock inclined his head. "Indeed."
"You should have a drink or something," Chekov continued. "Who knows when we'll be able to have time off the ship again?"
"Alcohol does not affect my body the way it affects yours," Spock said in a monotone. He couldn't help but look over at Jim again, watch the way he was flirting with incompatible life forms and consuming large quantities of liquor, and inwardly scowl. "However, if alcoholic beverages produced the same physiological effects on my body as they do on humans, I would not wish to drink them in order to avoid publically humiliating myself."
Chekov blinked and looked suitably impressed. "Wow," he said. "That's some logic." Then he turned around to follow Spock's gaze and laughed. "Oh, Captain Kirk?" Chekov faced Spock again and waved a hand dismissively. "You can't base your logic off him. I doubt he's had half as much as the rest of us."
"His behavior would suggest otherwise," Spock replied, feeling oddly argumentative. It really shouldn't matter what Jim's behavior was like, except that it reflected poorly on their crew. As First Officer, it was part of Spock's job to ensure the well-being of the crew. Surely this fell under that category.
Chekov snorted. "The Captain? He behaves like this all the time." He peered closer at Spock and then bit his lower lip. "You do know he always flirts? That it doesn't mean anything?"
"The Captain's personal life is of no consequence to me," Spock replied.
"Of course, yeah, you're right," Chekov hurried to agree. "But you seem…"
Spock raised one eyebrow in a high arch. "I seem what?"
Chekov shook his head and waved his hands in front of him. "No, nothing, never mind." He shrugged. "I'm sure it's just me." He chuckled. "Really sure."
"Mind if I join you?"
Spock looked over at Uhura, who strode up to them and pulled out an empty chair. She sat in it and put her glass on the table, filled with a blue liquid that seemed highly questionable in content. She was sitting at an angle that blocked Jim from Spock's view, but quickly Spock realized this was a good thing. He would be spared having to witness his Captain's idiocy any further.
"Uhura," Chekov greeted, lifting his own drink. She lifted hers and they clinked their glasses together before taking a few swallows each. "Where have you been?"
"There were a few messages I had to translate before I could get down here," she said, sighing. "A xenolinguist's work is never done. You know how it is."
"Yeah. Well, no, not exactly, but in principle, yeah." Chekov smiled. "But you're here now."
"I'm here now," Uhura repeated. "And I hope you've kept my boyfriend entertained." She looked at Spock and titled her head towards him. "Is this guy bothering you?" she asked, smiling to show that she was teasing him.
"No," Spock answered. He moved his head slightly over to see Jim looking in his direction. The Captain raised one hand in greeting, but Spock only turned his head to look at Uhura once more. "I have been engaging in conversation with Ensign Chekov. It has not been bothersome."
"Boyfriend?" Chekov repeated, after a slight pause that followed Spock's response. "But I thought…"
"Hm?" Uhura asked, looking at him with a small smile. "What?"
"Never mind, it doesn't matter," Chekov said, laughing. He seemed more embarrassed than he should have been. "Enjoy yourselves." He left the table, clutching his drink and looking for other crew members to speak with.
Uhura shook her head and shrugged. "Who knows what that was about."
Spock remained silent, recognizing the half-statement half-question as being rhetorical and therefore not requiring an answer. He was slowly understanding the patterns in human speech, which were much more complex than they at first appeared to be. One day he hoped to be able to master the language's intricacies, but for now he contented himself with the occasional insight.
"So," Uhura continued, once it became clear Spock was not planning on starting a conversation. "How are you?"
"I am as well as can be expected," Spock replied. "How are you?"
"I'm good," Uhura said. "And glad we're off the ship for a bit."
"It is nice to have free time," Spock said. He looked towards Jim again, and the Captain was staring at him, holding up a hand and obviously attempting to get his attention. Spock looked towards Uhura, ignoring Jim for the second time.
She waited a few seconds before smiling at Spock and asking, "Want to dance?"
Spock stared at her. "No," he stated.
"Oh." Uhura pursed her lips and nodded once. "Okay. I just thought it might be fun."
"I have no desire to dance," Spock repeated.
"All right, that's fine," Uhura said, tone light and still upbeat. "What do you want to do, then?"
"I have no particular interest at this time," Spock stated.
"Spock!" Jim shouted, walking over to their table with no warning. Uhura narrowed her eyes at him, clearly frustrated by his sudden presence, but Spock only gave him a brief reprimanding look complete with raised eyebrow. "That was cold," Jim said, sliding into the seat next to Spock with the grace that came naturally to him. "Really cold."
"If you expect me to understand the meaning of that statement, you are mistaken," Spock replied, looking towards the bar and the seat Jim used to occupy. "My studies of English have yet to include inebriated ramblings."
"Ouch," Jim said, putting a hand over his heart dramatically. "That hurt me, Spock. Inside."
"We're trying to have a conversation here," Uhura said, sighing. "Even you should be able to figure that out."
Jim and Spock both frowned, although no one noticed Spock's since it was gone almost instantaneously. "Ah, come on," Jim griped. "Chekov was just here."
"The difference," Uhura started, pausing mid-way through her sentence for dramatic effect, "is that I actually like Chekov."
"She doesn't like me," Jim said, whispering loudly to Spock. "Your girlfriend has a problem with me."
"I was unaware you harbored negative feelings towards Captain Kirk," Spock said, directing his comment and stare at Uhura.
Uhura blushed. "Ah, um, no," she said, too quickly. "I like him well enough. I mean, you know, we get along."
"We do?" Jim asked. Uhura glared at him and he quickly said, "We do. Yes. We do. Get along. That's what we do."
"Shut up now," Uhura said, kicking Jim under the table.
"Okay," Jim replied. He grinned at her, practically dripping with satisfaction. "See? We get along," he said. "Told you it could happen."
"When?" Uhura asked. "When did you tell me we could get along?"
"In my head," Jim responded. "When I was trying to convince you not to kill me."
"I do not understand," Spock said.
"That makes two of us," Uhura replied. "Look, Captain, if you don't mind, we're just trying to have some time together." When Jim didn't move to leave, she added, "Alone."
Jim sighed. "All right, all right," he said. "I'll leave you to it." He raised his drink to them and took a long swallow before pivoting on the balls of his feet and marching off back to the bar.
Spock watched him go for a few seconds before he looked at Uhura. "Why did you ask Captain Kirk to leave?"
"Hm?" Uhura asked, looking at Spock blankly. "Because I thought we could spend some time alone together?"
"You did not ask Ensign Chekov to leave," Spock pointed out.
"Yeah, but Chekov knew to leave when I got here. Kirk," Uhura said, pausing to shake her head slowly, "would have just sat here without giving us any consideration at all."
"I do not mind Captain Kirk's company," Spock replied. "I do not understand why you wanted him to leave."
Uhura looked at Spock for a moment before smiling. "I wanted to spend some time with you. You know, just the two of us. Like I said before." She shrugged. "This is the first time we've been off the ship together since we left Earth. I thought it would be nice."
"This is also the first opportunity I have had to spent time with Captain Kirk off of the Enterprise since we left Earth," Spock pointed out.
Uhura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but you're not dating him, are you?"
"No, I am not." Spock gave her answer a moment's thought before he continued, "Is it a human tradition to only spend free time with a romantic partner?"
"Of course not," Uhura said. "Why would you think that?"
"Then I am afraid I still do not understand why it is unacceptable to spend time with Captain Kirk while we are off of the Enterprise," Spock stated.
"It's not-," Uhura said, cutting herself off quickly. "Listen. Spock. You can choose who you want to spend your time with. I just thought that we should hang out for a while since we're dating. And usually, people prefer to spend time with who they're dating when they go out like this."
Spock considered this, briefly. "I understand your point. However, your answer does not explain why it was acceptable to speak with Ensign Chekov and not with Captain Kirk." Uhura groaned. "I apologize for my confusion. I fail to see the difference between them."
"The difference is that Kirk's annoying as shit," Uhura said, immediately grumpy. "He's a pain in the ass to deal with. Seriously, Spock, I don't understand how you can be friends with him."
"Captain Kirk does have a strong personality," Spock replied.
"You think?" Uhura asked, sarcasm dripping off her tongue.
"However I believe that only adds to his appeal," Spock said.
"His appeal," Uhura said, monotone.
"Indeed. His positive attitude makes him an admirable Captain and a worthwhile friend," Spock stated. "I believe your negative feelings towards him are unfounded."
"You say that now," Uhura said, blandly. "Wait until he starts flirting with you. Then see how you like his attitude."
Spock raised one eyebrow. "I highly doubt Captain Kirk will engage me in the human practice of flirting."
"Kirk flirts with anything that moves, and most of them can't form coherent sentences." Uhura paused. "And plenty of things that don't move, come to think of it." She laughed and smiled at Spock, clearly amused. "If you think you're getting out of it just because you're taken, think again."
"As I said, I highly doubt-"
Uhura cut him off. "He probably already has. You just didn't realize." Spock remained silent, wondering if that could be true. "Look, forget it. It doesn't matter. He's not being serious, anyway. It's just that's what irritates me about him, you know? He flaunts it so much. God, I can't stand that."
"I see," Spock replied. He didn't, though. Not really. The idea of anyone not liking Jim was so completely foreign to Spock that he couldn't even form a base to understand the concept on. Yes, he could agree with Uhura that Jim's flirtatious nature could be annoying, but that didn't mean every aspect of him was equally so.
"Look, let's not talk about Kirk anymore," Uhura said. "We have to deal with him all the time. When we're off-ship, let's just enjoy ourselves, all right?"
Spock looked over at Jim, who was back at the bar and making a complete spectacle of himself. He was flirting with another of the aliens, one hand holding a glass of some orange liquid and the other hand gesticulating wildly in the air. If it was true that Jim was not serious when he flirted, then Spock had no idea why he would continue to do so. Human nature was still troubling more often than not.
"Yes," Spock said after a few seconds had passed. "We should take this opportunity to entertain ourselves."
"Exactly," Uhura said, smiling. "Exactly."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The first time Uhura kissed him, less than an hour after he had reached helplessly out to catch his mother only for his fingers to meet empty air, Spock didn't even think about what she was doing. His mind was so completely focused on his outstretched hand and the image of his mother falling, even as the thin lines of light began to appear around her, haunted him. He could see her face, clearly, looking at him with all the love and acceptance no one else had ever been able to give him. She seemed to say I understand or perhaps I forgive you or maybe a simple good-bye.
When Uhura asked him what he needed, he had been honest. The only thing he had wanted-the only thing he had needed-was for the crew to continue to perform admirably. If everything had gone the way it should have, he would have led the Enterprise towards eventual revenge. The crew would have suspected, but no one would have had the nerve to say anything to him because at that point Jim had already been marooned on Delta Vega and he was the only one who ever said anything to Spock besides yes, sir and his rank followed by a string of urgent life-threatening information. Spock would have led them all to their doom in a foolhardy quest to get revenge. He would have been too late to save Earth and an untold number of other planets, and he would never have known another option was available. His revenge would have killed them all, every member of the Federation, and the fact that even now no one knew that except Spock himself was disconcerting.
(Marooning Jim on Delta Vega was something Spock could envision becoming something of a joke between them in the future. When they were older and passably wiser, more comfortable with themselves and each other, maybe even with a closer friendship than they had now-that's when it would be funny. It would become a reminiscence, something to chuckle about when the situation was dire and people were dying or when everything was fine and they were simply bored. Hey, Spock, hey, remember when you marooned me on Delta Vega? Jim's face would still be a mirror of all his emotions, so Spock knew his eyes would be lit up and his grin would crawl across his face as if it had all the time in the world to get where it wanted to be. Yes. That's all Spock would say, just that one word, and it would be enough. Jim would shake his head, still grinning because that expression lived on his face, had carved out a permanent space for itself so that Spock noticed when it was absent and wondered where it had gone. There were monsters there, Spock. Monsters! You stuck me on an abandoned ice cube filled with man-eating monsters! Often that would be the end of the imaginary scenario. Spock couldn't picture what would come after that, what he would do with Jim's grin directed towards him, accusing him of something they should have both long forgotten. Sometimes, though, sometimes Spock imagined he would say more, maybe You deserved it or the dishonest I would do so again if the situation called for it. Jim would laugh at that and Spock would watch him as he laughed. Sometimes he smiled.)
Kissing Uhura had been absolute last on Spock's list of concerns for the day. After Jim had saved them all with his illogical decision and Spock had some time to consider the events, he had to remind himself that humans were illogical creatures. Uhura had offered herself as consolation for the loss of Spock's mother, even though they both knew there could be no replacement. However, she did not want to replace who Spock had lost. Rather, Uhura wished to become someone important in her own right. Spock could not think too much on the subject because whenever he did, he was forced to conclude that beginning any relationship when he was under such duress was an intrinsically flawed idea. He had not been in a state of mind to consider what she was offering, and by the time he was she believed he had already accepted her.
Uhura was a truly magnificent person in many ways. However, Spock knew that she was simply a human with all the failings that implied. Uncontrollable emotion and illogical thought were what he should have expected. She began a romantic relationship while he was in mourning. While he was coping with an ending, she was creating a beginning. They were on different wavelengths, unable to connect at the same time no matter which frequency they tried. His unresponsive behavior towards her romantic initiatives only compelled her to take more forceful action. Spock wished he knew of a way to show her that her efforts, while appreciated in theory, were not welcome in practice. Jim would have been better at this. He was the one who knew how to handle women. However Uhura seemed to be a mystery to Jim as well, and Spock knew he would have to find his own way in this matter.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The worst disaster in all of Starfleet history occurred almost a month to the day from when the Enterprise had left Earth. Jim had been sitting in his chair, his comfortable, lovely chair, swiveling around in it as he was prone to do when bored. It was the perfect way to keep an eye on everybody on the bridge at once, and if he sometimes swiveled a little too fast, well, he was only trying to keep everyone on their toes. It wouldn't do for his crew to start thinking he wasn't paying attention to them. Jim was in mid-swivel, slowly moving past Uhura, eyeing her speculatively, when the entire ship shook, throwing him half off the chair with his legs sprawled haphazardly on the ground.
"Report," Jim snapped, quickly getting to his feet and looking around. It was then he realized that everyone else was still seated, looking at him with expressions ranging from anxious to amused. "What? I said report."
"Captain, there is no damage to the ship," Spock replied.
Jim took a moment to be thankful he had one officer on the bridge who would report when asked to, even if the report made no sense. "Then what-" Jim cut himself off as he pivoted around, looking at his chair with horror.
His chair-his beautiful, wonderful, marvelous chair-had broken at the base. The top of it was half-off, tilted and resting heavily against the floor. Jim stared at it for a few seconds, surveying the damage, his look of horror slowly being replaced by one of sadness.
"It appears your chair has collapsed," Spock stated, way too calmly given the gravity of the situation.
Uhura started laughing, and a few small giggles and chuckles followed soon after.
"Get maintenance down here right away," Jim said. "This is a priority one."
Uhura rolled her eyes and turned back to her station. "Maintenance, to the bridge, please. Maintenance, to the bridge."
"Right away," Jim hissed.
Uhura sighed. "Immediately," she added before switching off the microphone.
The maintenance crew member, named Hartford, was a middle-aged man who seemed more amused than concerned with the dire state of his chair. Jim would have to look into his record. He might be mentally unbalanced.
"Was it sabotage?!" Jim shouted. His hands twisted in the edges of his shirt and he paced nervously behind Hartford. "Is there a traitor on board?!"
"For the third time, it's not anyone's fault," Hartford said, sighing. "It will only take about an hour to fix."
"An hour?" Jim asked, horrified. "What am I supposed to do until then?"
"Try standing," Spock suggested. "I assume your feet work as well as your mouth does."
Chekov spluttered, coughing and smacking his chest a few times. "Sorry, excuse me," he said, gasping. "It's just… something…" He gestured wildly to his forehead. "In my throat." His eyes widened. "I didn't mean… my head! I meant head." He looked horrified. "No, that's not what I meant! I wasn't thinking about-it was a mistake! I swear! I don't know anything!"
Jim sighed. "Does anyone have any idea what he's saying?" There was utter and complete silence. "All right, that's great." He looked at Sulu. "Can you shut him up? Please?"
"I can try, sir," Sulu said, getting up to stand next to Chekov supportively. He knelt next to Chekov and started making comforting noises. "It's okay. Don't worry, you're all right."
"But I-"
"Just, just don't worry," Sulu said, shushing Chekov. "Don't worry about it."
"Thanks. I've got more important matters to deal with," Jim said, looking back at his chair mournfully. "How can it be an accident? It had to have been intentional."
"I did inform you that constantly swiveling in the chair might cause the mechanism to collapse," Spock stated.
Jim stared at him. "Did you just say ‘I told you so'?"
"No," Spock replied. "I said that I had previously informed you that constantly swiveling-"
"You did," Jim said, shocked. "You said ‘I told you so'!"
Spock blinked once, slowly. "I did inform you."
Jim shook his head and looked back at Hartford. "I just don't get it," he said. "I mean, this is a new ship. The chair is new."
"Parts are often recycled from older ships," Hartford replied. He was lying on his back, doing something to the bottom of the chair that Jim assumed would end up with it fixed. "It's not uncommon for things to break, especially if they're used more than they're made for."
"That's pretty shoddy manufacturing, if you ask me," Jim said, frowning. He ignored the silence on the bridge, determined not to let his crew's silent mockery get to him. "It shouldn't just break like that."
"Do you understand?" Hartford said, sighing. "It's on this metal bar. And there's this screw-like mechanism inside the bar. So if you keep on going around and around in the same direction very quickly, it can break."
Jim frowned. "I don't like it."
Hartford didn't reply. In just under an hour he was finished, during which time Jim had made life hell for everyone on the bridge by standing over each of their shoulders to scrutinize their work. As soon as the chair was fixed, Jim was at Hartford's side, arms crossed and inspecting the chair thoroughly.
"It will still swivel," Hartford said, anticipating Jim's question. "But you have to go easy on it. Too much pressure, and the whole thing'll fall apart."
"How much is too much?" Jim asked.
Hartford shrugged. "I don't know. It'll be fine for normal use."
"So what's not normal use?"
Hartford paused and then said, "Captain, if you're swiveling fast enough so that your surroundings blur, that's not normal use. The chair can break if used that way. Sir."
Jim frowned. "I've never gone that fast." Uhura cleared her throat. "Oh, okay, fine, maybe one time. But just the once!"
"If that's all, Captain?" Hartford asked, holding his tool box and looking like he would rather not be in the middle of an argument on the bridge.
"Yeah, that's all," Jim said. "Good work, Hartford."
"Thank you, sir."
Hartford left and the bridge went back to its normal routine. Chekov was relatively sane, or at least he wasn't muttering to himself any more, and Sulu only looked at him once every few minutes. Uhura was scanning various frequencies for any messages coming their way. Spock was… well, Jim wasn't ever exactly sure what Spock was doing. His First Officer actually was in charge of quite a lot, but he was absolutely sure that Spock was working on something equally important and boring.
Jim sat in his chair and moved it slightly, a few inches to the right. It swiveled smoothly. He immediately let out the breath he'd been holding, ready to take on whatever happened to fall their way in this section of the galaxy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next time Uhura spoke to Spock alone was a few days after they had been in the bar. Spock hadn't had any particular reason to seek her out, so he simply hadn't. He had been thinking about a few other things-how to act more human, whether or not he should eventually visit New Vulcan since his alternate self was there, if there was a way to be more sociable with the crew, if he should mention to Jim that his obvious flirtations with everyone made both himself and Uhura uncomfortable, if it would be wise to take on another night shift since productivity was down during those hours-and for some reason, his relationship with Uhura had not made it onto his mental list of things to consider. They had agreed on six months, they had recently spent time together, and he saw no reason to think any more on it than that.
"Spock," Uhura called. Spock stopped and turned around, glancing back down the way he had just come from. "Got a minute?"
"Yes," Spock said.
"Can we talk?" Uhura asked.
"I was on my way to the bridge."
"It'll only take a minute."
This was one of those human expressions that Spock was learning. They were meant to induce the listener to comply with whatever was being said, even though the statement was false. Spock only knew this because the other two times Uhura had stated something "would only take a minute" had both lasted closer to ten minutes. Luckily, he was in no real rush to get to the bridge. There was no disaster waiting for him to take care of and he knew Jim had everything under control. It wouldn't do any harm for him to speak to Uhura. Spock nodded and Uhura smiled.
"Good, let's talk in here." She walked a bit further down the corridor until she reached one of the many recreation rooms in the ship. It was empty, which was no surprise given the time of day. Most people were directly in the middle of working right now.
Spock followed her in and sat in one of the chairs, waiting until she sat down across from him to speak. "What do you wish to speak about?"
Uhura folded her hands in front of her, lying them on the table. "Okay. I want to start by saying that I don't want to fight, and I'm not trying to attack or insult you."
"I understand," Spock said.
"It's just that…" Uhura trailed off, frowning. "When we agreed to try being together for six months, I thought it would be different."
"How so?" Spock asked.
"Well, you haven't really been acting like we're together," Uhura stated.
"I apologize," Spock replied. "I have no experience with human customs in this matter."
"No, no, it's not that," Uhura said, shaking her head once, forcefully. "I know you have different customs, and that's fine. I accept that."
Spock waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he said, "I do not understand what the problem is. Will you please explain?"
"The problem is," Uhura started, sighing. "I guess the problem is that I'd hoped you would open up to me." Spock looked at her, confused. "I mean that it seems like you're becoming closer to other people, and there's this distance between us that I can't seem to cross."
"I see," Spock replied. "However, I do not believe I am becoming closer to other people." In fact, although he didn't want to tell Uhura this, once Sulu had pointed it out he had noticed how far apart he really was from the rest of the crew. It was strange that Uhura and Sulu would have different opinions on this.
"Well, all right, not just other people," Uhura said, agreeing. "I meant Kirk. You seem like you're getting really… close to him."
"Captain Kirk and I are friends," Spock said. "It is quite natural in every culture for friends to become closer as they spend time together."
"Yes, but that's my point," Uhura said. "I mean, you're spending all your free time with Kirk. I feel like you should be spending some of that time with me."
"I see."
"Not all of it, of course not," Uhura quickly added. "I think it's great that you have a good friend. But, since we're dating, it's only logical that we spend time together. And if you spend all of your free time with him…"
"Then I have no free time left over to spend with you," Spock finished. "Yes, I see your point."
"Besides, you're getting…" Uhura sighed and looked at her hands. "Really close to him."
"I am?" Spock asked, surprised.
"Yes, you are," Uhura stated. "Like at the memorial service-" She immediately cut herself off, looking guilty. "Sorry, never mind. I shouldn't-sorry."
"Please continue," Spock said. "I would appreciate knowing your concerns so I may address them."
Uhura swallowed, obviously nervous. "Okay. I guess that's fair." She looked at Spock and said, "Kirk was the only one you let near you. You practically ignored everybody else, myself included. But you talked to him, and…" She shrugged. "He made you feel better. I'm glad about that, don't get me wrong. But…"
"Yes?" Spock asked when Uhura had paused for long enough that it seemed like she wasn't going to finish her thought.
"I wanted to be the one to make you feel better," Uhura said. "It sounds childish, I know. But we are dating, after all, and I want to be the one you can rely on for things like that."
"I was grieving and unable to think clearly at that time," Spock said. "If I had-"
"No, you don't have to defend yourself," Uhura said. "Like I said, I'm happy you felt better. If it was Kirk who did it, well, that's how it goes sometimes." She bit her lower lip and then continued. "It's just that when we were at the bar, the same thing happened. I wanted to spend time with you, Kirk comes up, and suddenly all you want to do is talk about him."
"When you brought your irritation to my attention, I stopped talking about Captain Kirk," Spock replied.
"Yeah, I know," Uhura said. "But the point is that you wanted to keep talking about him. You were thinking about him. And we don't have that much time together, so when we are together, I want you to think about me. Okay? Only me."
Spock took a moment to consider what Uhura had said. It was true that, in most romantic relationships, the people involved turned to each other for support during difficult times. It was equally true that those people thought about each other the most often and wanted to spend the most time with each other. However, Spock was not in that kind of relationship with Uhura. He had wanted to end their relationship, and she had convinced him into continuing it. Given that situation, it was completely illogical for her to expect a similar reaction from him as she would have gotten from a person who was more invested in a relationship with her than he was. Unfortunately, it seemed as if saying that to Uhura would be an incredibly bad idea. She seemed to want Spock to pretend as though he truly wanted to be in this relationship, regardless of his own feelings on the matter.
"I cannot promise that I will be able to control my thoughts," Spock said. "Occasionally, thoughts come into my mind without any logical reason to be there. I believe it is similar for humans. However, I will make an effort to control my actions in order to spend more time with you."
Uhura nodded. "All right. That sounds fair to me."
"Then we are agreed," Spock replied. "Now I must get back to the bridge. Captain Kirk is waiting for me to return."
Uhura rolled her eyes, sighing. "All right. I'll meet you on the bridge in a few, then."
Spock got up and left the room, only noticing briefly from the corner of his eye as Uhura's forehead landed with a thump on the table.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Part 5
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