now you know
now you know
~ 650 w, g, (changmin/yoona)
The worst part is she thinks he might have figured her out.
■ I just wrote fluff and now I need to cleanse myself so idk what this is but here you go, guys! (esp. you nikka lol)
Yoona has spent her whole life thinking she isn’t a typical girl. But one day she wakes up to find that she is - like every other girl out there, she will always want something that she cannot have and long after what’s slipped right pass her.
When she tells the story (that day will come someday), Yoona will say it begins on a cold winter afternoon in the rehearsal room, amidst a crowd of familiar faces but that isn’t true. She’ll say that he liked her first but that also, isn’t true. The beginning isn’t important, maybe. She knows the ending by heart though; one day she loves Changmin and the next she still does and the next and it goes on.
Yoona won’t ever tell that story though. Some things don’t have an ending.
-
She pretends like she doesn’t know and he doesn’t know because her boyfriend doesn’t know but mainly because Yoona likes to tell lies like it’s the facts. Changmin’s been a good friend, she likes to say when what she really means is, Changmin never became more than a friend.
Naturally she holds Seung-gi’s hand like he’s the man of her dreams, the love of her life because he is what she’s ended up with after wasted years of nothings. Yoona admits that she’s shamelessly boastful about how perfect he is with his accomplishments and good reputation and everyone will gather around to hear her state the obvious. It’s great and all that but she’ll know.
No one else will but Yoona will know that she’s got a crumpled up picture of him in her wallet and the weight of it will keep her rooted back in time forever.
-
They tell her things - tragedies that Yoona likes to hear. She’ll hide behind a worried smile with genuinely un-genuine words of polite concerns when really, there’s only aversion. So be it she likes to hear that he’s crestfallen and glum and low-spirited as of late because perhaps that’s what he needs, to be regretful. Because once upon a time, Yoona gave him all the joy until she had none left for herself so now he can have her left over heartache.
(Yoona will look at him and Changmin will look at her and she’ll expect hurt, betrayal and resentment because that’s all she’s got left to give him. But it won’t be there, instead he’ll smile and it will say: I’m sorry, I love you, be happy)
-
It feels like a joke sometimes, except not funny. Not even a little. She’s not going to laugh over it in the coming years or look back at it fondly and take wisdoms out of it. Yoona will look back, like she’s doing now, and be tortured with the ‘why’s and ‘why not’s and most all, the ‘how’s. She didn’t even know it’s possible to miss out on the same chance so many times in a life time.
With Changmin, it’s ‘pause’, ‘go’ and ‘rewind’. It’s almost like a movie that will never reach its credits and she’ll be forced to fill the voids with made up scenes and inaccurate predictions. When Yoona realizes that he’s left her with the impossible, it is too late.
The worst part is she thinks he might have figured her out.
-
Yoona suspects all along that he’s known.
Changmin wouldn’t be Changmin if he doesn’t - he knows he’s broken her heart one too many times and continues to do so when it’s supposed to be someone else’s now. Changmin will blame himself but he’ll blame the timing more whilst she does the opposite. He knows all of this so he’ll wait, Yoona thinks he will, but if he won’t then she will learn to live with another missed opportunity like she has with all the other ones.
He knows that she is giving up but not moving on.
~ 650 w, g, (changmin/yoona)
The worst part is she thinks he might have figured her out.
■ I just wrote fluff and now I need to cleanse myself so idk what this is but here you go, guys! (esp. you nikka lol)
Yoona has spent her whole life thinking she isn’t a typical girl. But one day she wakes up to find that she is - like every other girl out there, she will always want something that she cannot have and long after what’s slipped right pass her.
When she tells the story (that day will come someday), Yoona will say it begins on a cold winter afternoon in the rehearsal room, amidst a crowd of familiar faces but that isn’t true. She’ll say that he liked her first but that also, isn’t true. The beginning isn’t important, maybe. She knows the ending by heart though; one day she loves Changmin and the next she still does and the next and it goes on.
Yoona won’t ever tell that story though. Some things don’t have an ending.
-
She pretends like she doesn’t know and he doesn’t know because her boyfriend doesn’t know but mainly because Yoona likes to tell lies like it’s the facts. Changmin’s been a good friend, she likes to say when what she really means is, Changmin never became more than a friend.
Naturally she holds Seung-gi’s hand like he’s the man of her dreams, the love of her life because he is what she’s ended up with after wasted years of nothings. Yoona admits that she’s shamelessly boastful about how perfect he is with his accomplishments and good reputation and everyone will gather around to hear her state the obvious. It’s great and all that but she’ll know.
No one else will but Yoona will know that she’s got a crumpled up picture of him in her wallet and the weight of it will keep her rooted back in time forever.
-
They tell her things - tragedies that Yoona likes to hear. She’ll hide behind a worried smile with genuinely un-genuine words of polite concerns when really, there’s only aversion. So be it she likes to hear that he’s crestfallen and glum and low-spirited as of late because perhaps that’s what he needs, to be regretful. Because once upon a time, Yoona gave him all the joy until she had none left for herself so now he can have her left over heartache.
(Yoona will look at him and Changmin will look at her and she’ll expect hurt, betrayal and resentment because that’s all she’s got left to give him. But it won’t be there, instead he’ll smile and it will say: I’m sorry, I love you, be happy)
-
It feels like a joke sometimes, except not funny. Not even a little. She’s not going to laugh over it in the coming years or look back at it fondly and take wisdoms out of it. Yoona will look back, like she’s doing now, and be tortured with the ‘why’s and ‘why not’s and most all, the ‘how’s. She didn’t even know it’s possible to miss out on the same chance so many times in a life time.
With Changmin, it’s ‘pause’, ‘go’ and ‘rewind’. It’s almost like a movie that will never reach its credits and she’ll be forced to fill the voids with made up scenes and inaccurate predictions. When Yoona realizes that he’s left her with the impossible, it is too late.
The worst part is she thinks he might have figured her out.
-
Yoona suspects all along that he’s known.
Changmin wouldn’t be Changmin if he doesn’t - he knows he’s broken her heart one too many times and continues to do so when it’s supposed to be someone else’s now. Changmin will blame himself but he’ll blame the timing more whilst she does the opposite. He knows all of this so he’ll wait, Yoona thinks he will, but if he won’t then she will learn to live with another missed opportunity like she has with all the other ones.
He knows that she is giving up but not moving on.