My first LJ Fic Post - 46 Days
So this is my first fic post here on lj. To be honest I am kinda in love with this. The shape it took was so natural, I barely had to do any thinking! Also posted on FF.net under my pen name, ForeverGleek20. You can also find me on Twitter, @kortniilee. Enjoy!
Title: 46 Days
Chapter: 1/1
Rating: M ? (for language)
Characters: Puck/Rachel, Artie, Kurt, and the mention of a few others
Word Count: ~6000
Prompt: I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
If you leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss you much
~Emilia, "Big, Big World"
Summary: Both of them knew exactly how long it had been since that one mistake they both wish they could take back. So could one song written in the heat of the moment make the pain disappear?
****************
46 Days
She sat staring at the leaves blowing in the wind through the window of her third floor apartment. The one that they had spent months searching for. The one that was just what they wanted. It had a view of the city lights out one window. That had been his requirement. The other window’s view gave them a sense that there was more out there. Like central park, which was picturesque looking from their couch. Her one requirement. After all, that was the one place, besides Lima, Ohio, that held most of their memories. At least they had that to hold onto in a city full of dashed dreams and failed attempts at making it big.
Not that those dreams or attempts were hers, because of course she had accomplished the one thing she always told anyone who would listen that she was going to do someday. She had made a name for herself on the Broadway stage and was on the brink of becoming the next big thing in the music realm. There'd already been talk of those silly little things called Grammy's once her debut album actually dropped later this month. Her success, however, didn't keep her from remembering the struggle that she went through to make it to that point in her life and for that she did pity those whose dreams and attempts were all in vain.
But she almost didn't make it. Wouldn't have if it weren't for him. He had been her rock. The one who built her up again every time another producer tore her down. The one who sacrificed his life dream of moving west and making a name for himself in Hollywood to make sure hers came true. She would never have asked him to do that. But then, she'd never had to because he chose that. Chose her. Loved her. Something she had never thought anyone would do, let alone him. And she had loved him because of it all. Still did if she was being honest with herself.
So how in the world did they end up here? Why was she spending another night alone in their apartment? How come their shared credit card statement reflected endless nights of hotel charges? Where did they break?
Luckily, her thoughts were interrupted by the ring of her phone. Immediately her stomach twisted into knots. She breathed a sigh of relief when she checked the caller id. "Hi, Artie,” she chirped, answering the phone, using her best excited-as-can-be voice.
"Rachel, great news," he began.
"Good, because that is just what I need right now. What is it?" she replied, feeling a bit more optimistic than before.
"The record company said everything is a go. They're actually sending over a final copy to your apartment this week." She heard him talking to someone else in the background and took a deep breath. "Rachel, are you there?" he asked when he returned his attention to her.
She sighed heavily, not able to hide her obvious lack of enthusiasm. "Yeah, still here."
She heard a change in his voice and tried her hardest to project some happiness about finally getting one step closer to fulfilling her life's goal. "PR just called. You're slated for an appearance on The Late Show at the end of next week too. Looks like it's all falling into place. You're finally getting everything you've ever wanted." He paused, carefully choosing his next words, sensing that her mood was less pleasant than usual. "This is still what you want right? You seem... off, Rachel."
"Artie, you remember high school, right? I endured relentless teasing, bullying, and name calling because I knew that one day I would be better than all of those slushie-tossing Neanderthals. Now that I've made it, you're questioning me?" She couldn't help the slight anger in her voice. Everything she was feeling started coming out and she felt bad because it wasn't Artie's fault. He didn't even know about their separation. Whatever. She couldn't stop it now. "You're my producer! You're not supposed to question me!"
Rachel heard him swallow hard on the other end of the line. "I... I'm... Not. Not questioning you at all. It's just," he paused. "I just... I thought you'd be happier about all of this."
"I'm sorry, Artie." It was her turn to swallow hard. "I shouldn't be taking my anger out on you. There's... I have some things going on right now that are weighing heavily on my mind. But I am happy. My dreams are finally coming true. It's what I've spent the last twenty-four years of my life waiting for. I couldn't be happier." she spoke those final words with as much emotion as she could while praying that the part of her heart that was breaking wouldn't betray her true feelings.
They finished their conversation quickly, but not before tears began falling from her eyes. She held her phone in her hands, staring at it, part of her silently willing it to ring. She scrolled through the contacts until she came to his name. Her finger hovered over the send button for what seemed to be an eternity. Oh, Noah, I'm not sure I can do this without you...
It wasn't fair. This should be one of the happiest moments of her life. So why was it that the only person she wanted, no needed, to share this moment with was the one person she couldn't? The one person who had shown her so obviously that he didn't actually care like he'd said he did.
If she was being honest with herself, she only had herself to blame. She was the one who had put her fame above their marriage. It wasn't intentional. She just got caught up in the glitz and glamour. It happened so fast. She’d wanted it so badly for so long. The rational part of her inner voice kept telling her to slow down and take a breath. She however choose to listen to the fame-is-the-most-important-thing-in-the-world part of her inner voice that had kind of taken over in high school. The one that had so easily pushed everyone away. She could now add one more success to that ever-growing list...
Her whole life seemed to flash in front of her eyes. One day she was curled in a ball crying over losing out on yet another part, with Noah's arms wrapped around her and his soft words echoing in her ear, telling her that they were the ones missing out. It seemed as if the next, they were out celebrating her first big role, complete with his proposal and her answer of a resounding yes. Then came their wedding day, and the happiness that surrounded them when they finally made their union legal, a day that she has relived what seems like every hour during the last 38 days, 5 hours, and 27 minutes.
Except those times when she relived that night. The one where everything she had came crashing down around her, breaking her out of her perfect little bubble of happiness. If she could choose to forget any night it would most definitely be that one. Her nightmares were bad enough, but when reality chose to hit her, it was like being taken by an invisible current that was continually pulling her further under the surface, and she'd have to remind herself to breathe. Even now, after the time spent apart, those cruel little reminders of her new reality would pop up randomly and send her into a miniature version of the full-blown anxiety attack she was bound to have sooner or later.
Like now. She had been trying to distract her thoughts when the doorbell rang. Contemplating whether or not to answer it, she hesitated before getting up off of her chair. As she passed the mirror, she fixed her hair quickly, trying to tuck the stray strands back into her low ponytail, making her, hopefully, look like less of a mess than what she really felt. She pulled her sweatshirt down, smoothing it, and opened the door.
"A package for a Mrs. Rachel Puckerman?"
Her breath caught in her throat and she had to steady herself on the door frame. "Um, yeah... I am... That's... That's me," she was finally able to sputter, as she signed her name and took it from the man.
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, as he turned and got on the elevator.
She nodded her head slowly, looking down at the package in her hands and muttering under her breath. "Nice, yeah..."
Closing the door behind her, she moved towards the table. As she sat down, she placed the package in front of her and just looked at it. She wanted to open it. She really did. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. It was too much for her to handle. At least by herself anyway. She needed him to be there. But she knew that was out of the question.
Still, she needed someone there with her for this momentous occasion. Since her fathers were still in Lima, her next, and pretty much only other option was her best friend, Kurt. She sighed heavily and picked her phone up off the table, finding the number and quickly hitting the call button.
He picked up after just two rings. “Kurt, are you busy... Well, I kind of need you to come over… It’s… It’s important,” she managed to choke out. “Thank you,” she added hanging up.
She was still sitting at the table, staring at the package forty-five minutes later when she heard him knock on the door. Jumping up quickly, she raced to the door and opened it.
“I’ve come to save the day,” he chimed, rushing into the apartment with his hands full. He sat everything down on the counter and turned to her. “We’ve got everything we’ll need. Rent. Tissues. And chocolate. Lots of chocolate.”
She let out a small giggle. “But you don’t eat chocolate?”
“Oh, that’s not for me. It’s all for you. I know your need for the stuff in times like these. Besides, I brought rice cakes for myself,” he added with a smile. “Oh princess, come here,” he said opening his arms to her.
She fell into his embrace and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She felt the dam break and the tears came, violently overtaking her small frame. She felt Kurt place his chin on her head.
“Rachel, what is it?” he asked.
Lifting her head and breaking their hold, she moved over to the table. She sat down in the chair, pulling one leg up and resting her chin on her knee. She slid the cd to the middle of the table and looked up at him.
He let out a small sigh and gave a knowing nod. Moving to the chair, he pulled it out and sat down, staring at the package she had placed in front of him. Then he looked to her. When he saw the first tear trickle down her cheek, he reached out for her hand.
She brushed it away with the back of her sleeve. “It’s the first copy of my cd,” she said, her voice devoid of the emotion he would’ve expected from her.
She noticed the puzzled look on his face but remained silent. “Rachel, you should be happy about this. Your dream… It’s finally coming true.” He gave her hand a small squeeze.
“I… I just can’t. It hurts,” she sobbed, taking the tissue he was holding out to her. “These songs, they’re all written with No.. him.” She just couldn’t bring herself to actually say his name. She blew her nose and continued.
“And if they’re not written with him, they’re written for or about him. I can’t do it, Kurt. I can’t even look at it.” She pushed the package further toward him and wrapped her arms around her legs. “You open it.”
He reached out and picked up the yellow envelope. He looked up at her before breaking the seal. “You’re sure you don’t wanna do this?”
When she shook her head furiously and without hesitation, he nodded. He slipped his finger under the edge, ripping it open. Reaching in, he paused momentarily when he heard her inhale sharply. Slowly, he pulled the case out and sat it gently on the table. His gaze fell upon her, hers never leaving the case lying in front of them. At least she had stopped crying he thought.
“Rachel. You need to do this. It’s for your own good,” he advised, sliding the cd over to her. “This has been your dream since you were four. Don’t let him take this from you.” He noticed her eyes were closed tightly. “Rachel, open your eyes.”
She did as she was told, and the tears flowed heavily down her face. He was right. She had to face this. Picking up the case, she studied the cover art. He had helped her pick the cover. One of his favorite pictures of her he had claimed. Why hadn’t she just gone with the one she’d wanted?
Taking a moment to collect herself, she looked up and caught Kurt’s eyes. He gently nodded and she knew he was telling her to continue, so she flipped the case over and read the track-listing. “Oh my god,” she gasped.
Kurt’s eyes got big. “What is it?”
“My song,” she replied, in disbelief. “They used my new song. I wrote it right after he left. It only took twenty minutes. I recorded it the next day. The day after that Artie handed it off to the execs. I hadn’t heard back from them about it. Figured they weren’t interested. I can’t believe they liked it.”
“I can,” he said. “You’re an amazing singer, Rachel. And a very talented song-writer. Songs from the heart like that? That’s why records get sold. Those are the kinds of songs people relate to. That tell their stories. They’d have been foolish to pass that up.” He paused before finishing his thought. But when he saw that she was already sobbing, he went on, moving toward her and pulling her to her feet. “Noah was foolish too, when he walked out on you.”
Her eyes caught his, and she shook her head. “No, he wasn’t. I’m just surprised he didn’t do it a long time ago.”
This was what he should’ve expected from her. She was still the same self-doubting girl that stupid Finn had turned her into back in high school when he couldn’t decide whether Rachel or his reputation were more important. She’d never had quite the same confidence after he chose his reputation, and Santana, over her for that final time at the end of their junior year.
Until Noah came along. Funny how it was him who put her back together near the end of senior year. No one, except Kurt, had believed they’d last longer than that summer. They’d proven them all wrong though, in an elaborate Jewish ceremony that even stunned the ice queen into giving them a very sincere toast at the reception. How was it then that Noah had gone and done the same thing he’d beaten the crap out of Finn for?
“What do you mean?” Kurt gave her the second puzzled look of the evening. Even he didn’t know all the details of the events that had transpired that night. She’d kept most of it to herself, but she’d said enough to shock him into silence for the whole of five minutes while he consoled her by just holding her while she cried. Maybe he’d finally hear the whole story.
She inhaled and began speaking. “I told you it was after one of my events. Another one that he had felt ignored at. When we finally got back home, we started arguing. He kept asking me when I was going to remember he existed. My phone kept ringing, Artie and the record label, and of course I answered the calls. He got fed up and called Sam.” She stopped her story to wipe the fresh tears from her cheeks and blew her nose.
After they both took a seat on the couch, her head in his lap, she continued. “I finished my conversations and walked in on his. I overheard him tell Sam that he was tired of taking a backseat to everyone and everything else. I heard the word ‘leaving’ and ran to the bedroom, slamming the door to get his attention. It didn’t work. I packed his suitcase for him. I can still see the look on his face when I sat it in front of him, Kurt. That image is burned into my head.”
Kurt sighed. “So he left then?”
“Yeah.” She looked up at him. “I know now that I was pushing him away. I just wanted it too much. Like in high school. I didn’t care who I stepped on as long as I got to my dream. He just happened to be one of those who got stepped on. Pushed away.”
She sat up and a small giggle escaped her throat, catching him completely off guard. “It’s ironic, really. Now I’ve got my dream within reach and I can’t even bring myself to care. To enjoy it.”
“Why is that?” He knew the answer, but he needed her to say it.
“Because he’s not here. Somewhere along the way, he became my dream. This time apart made me realize that.”
“So call him and tell him. You need to tell him that. What you just said to me.”
“I can’t Kurt,” she sighed. “The last time we spoke, on the phone of course, he told me to go do my thing. He doesn’t want to see me. And he’s proven that much. We haven’t even talked since that day, let alone seen each other.”
Kurt wrapped her in his arms yet again. He knew that that was no use in pushing the issue any further, so he changed the subject. “Why don’t we just watch the movie?”
She nodded. She couldn’t have been luckier in having him as her friend. Though if you’d have asked her back in high school, she’d have thought you were delusional in thinking that they would be the two heading to New York City together after graduation. He always knew just what to do to keep her distracted when things got beyond her control. And she couldn’t have been happier about that, she thought as she watched him put the movie in the DVD player and resettle in next to her.
………
“They want me to sing what?” she shrieked over the phone. “Artie, I can’t sing that song. I just can’t. Not on national TV. I thought we were going with the other track?”
She looked over at Kurt who was giving her a reassuring smile. “Fine. I guess I can’t change their minds now. I’m on in like twenty minutes… Of course the band has been informed before me… Thanks, Artie.” She hung up her phone and turned to him.
“You are gonna kill that song out there. You have been preparing all your life for this,” he said, placing both hands on her shoulders.
She sighed. “I know. But I just… That song is so personal. I can’t… I don’t… What if Noah sees me? Then what?”
He gave her a smile. “Then maybe you two can patch things up finally.” He felt the air rush out of her. “Relax, Rachel. You can do this. Remember our first Sectionals appearance when those schools sang all of our songs? Remember how you pulled out the most amazing performance of ‘Don’t’ Rain On My Parade’? You can do this. You were born to do this.”
He stumbled a bit when she lunged at him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. “Thank you, Kurt. What would I do without you? There’s no way I could be doing any of this without you by my side.”
He squeezed a little tighter and then pulled away. “You’re right.” He laughed when she stepped back and looked up at him with a small pout on her lips. “You’d be a fashion disaster still. They wouldn’t even be paying attention to the music.”
She slapped him on the arm. Then laughed with him. “I am pretty hopeless, aren’t I?” He nodded his head and smiled.
“Mrs. Puckerman, you’re on in five,” one of the stage hands said, rushing by her and pointing in the direction of where she was to head.
“Oh my god, Kurt. This is it!” She took a deep breath and released it. Then another thought hit her and he eyes grew wide. “What if they ask about Noah? What do I say? Do I avoid the question? Do I lie? I can’t lie…”
“Slow down, princess,” he interrupted. “He’s already been warned not to ask about that. Topic is off limits. Along with where the inspiration for the song came from. Don’t worry about that. Just be your normal, charming self, and you’ll do fine.” He turned her in the right direction and gave her a little shove.
She turned and looked back at him over her shoulder. “But what if I don’t know what to say?” she shrieked quietly.
Kurt laughed again. “Rachel. Don’t be ridiculous. Since when have you ever been at a loss for words?”
She smiled back at him and chuckled, nodding, before heading off to the stage.
“And now ladies and gentlemen, you know her from any one of her many Broadway shows, but her debut album, Big, Big World drops this coming Tuesday. Please help me welcome, Rachel Puckerman…”
______________________________________________________________________________
“Yeah, ma… No, I know, ma… I’ve tried to call her. She’s not answering… Yeah, yeah, ok. Gotta go, ma… Bye.” He slammed the door behind him, locking it, and threw his phone on the bed. “Fuck.”
Now even his mom was getting on his case. Ok, maybe he had lied. He hadn’t tried to call her. Why the fuck was that his job? She’s the one who wanted him gone. She’d packed his bags. She’d have to be the one to call. His ma was delusional if she thought he was gonna be the one to grovel. Over his dead body.
Grabbing a beer from the six-pack he had placed on the table, he sat down on the bed and grabbed the remote. He surveyed his surroundings and let out an audible sigh while rolling his eyes. He needed to get out of this hell-hole. He looked over at his suitcase he still hadn’t completely unpacked. He’d never intended on staying in the hotel this long. “Ughhh,” he growled as he threw his head back against the wall.
He aimed the remote at the TV and turned it on, trying to find something to distract him from his miserable life at the moment.
Cartoons. “Um, no thanks.”
Cheesy romantic comedy. “Yeah, I’ll pass.”
He was just about to turn it off when he stopped. He couldn’t believe it. There she was. On his TV. The Late Show. Singing a song.
Scooting towards the edge of the bed and closer to the TV, he couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. He couldn’t move. He was in awe of the emotion pouring out of her.
I can see the first leaves falling,
It's all yellow and nice.
It's so very cold outside,
Like the way I'm feeling inside.
He could feel her pain, even through the screen, as she sang the chorus and moved into verse two.
Outside it's now raining,
And tears are falling from my eyes.
Why did it have to happen?
Why did it all have to end?
Listening to her words, he swallowed hard and ran his hand over his head. She always knew just how to get to him, so he wasn’t surprised in the least when his breath caught in his throat at her next verse.
I have your arms around me,
Warm like fire.
But when I open my eyes,
You’re gone.
He felt sick. The knot that had been forming in his stomach twisted again when he saw a small tear trickle down her cheek. He was probably the only person in the world who had seen it, but he knew she was breaking down. Then he heard the words.
I'm a big, big girl,
In a big, big world.
It's not a big, big thing if you leave me.
But I do, do feel,
That I do, do will,
Miss you much.
Really miss you much…
This was too much to handle. He turned off the TV. “Fuck,” he yelled throwing a pillow at the wall, as he fell backwards on the bed.
That song. It was most definitely a new one. She’d had to have written it since their separation. Otherwise, he’d have heard it before. How in the hell had she gotten that through her label? All the songs they had worked on took weeks and hundreds of re-writes to get final approval. He shook his head in disbelief when he realized this break must’ve been the inspiration she’d needed. Well, good for her…
He reached over and turned off the light. He just wanted it to all go away. But he lay there, trying to sleep. He couldn’t get that picture of her out of his mind. And those words. They kept replaying in his head. He knew he was in for a long night of tossing and turning.
He also knew it would be that last night he’d spend like that. It was clear. She missed him. He missed her. This little feud? He was putting an end to it tomorrow.
………
As he put the car in park, he couldn’t help wondering why he was there. Hadn’t she made it clear that she wanted him gone the last time they spoke? He shook his head at the thought and let out a sigh. Hell, the last time they spoke he had said he didn’t wanna see her again, and that of course was a blatant lie if he was being honest with himself. Heat of the moment words. That’s all. But knowing her and her stubbornness, she had taken them as the honest to god truth and hadn’t made any sort of contact in the last 45 days, 23 hours, and 27 minutes. This song and dance couldn’t go on forever though. He was tired of it all and knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was reaching out to him last night in her performance. If he had to be the one to put an end to the games they were playing, then he could man up.
Getting out of the car and making sure it was locked, he made his way to their favorite part of the park. He wasn’t prepared for the beating in his chest to quicken when he reached the rocks and he had to take a moment to breathe before sitting down to wait. He shoved his hands into his pockets and slid further into his coat to try and stay warm in the cool chill of the fall air.
Luckily, he didn’t sit for very long, because he saw the limo pull up and stop in front of the building. He looked on as she climbed out of the car and thanked the driver. He lips curved into a small smile when she waved as the driver pulled away. He knew how much she adored her driver.
He watched her, as she walked up the steps, from the rocks on the edge of the park. If he had to admit it, she looked miserable. Sure, she had a smile on her face, but it wasn't real. He'd know that smile anywhere. That's the one she used when she was hurting but refused to let anyone know it. It felt like he had been sucker punched. He hated knowing she was hurting and he felt partially responsible for that. Well, he couldn't let it go on. He had to fix this.
He waited until he saw the light filtering out their window before standing up and making his way across the street. The feeling of unease that had settled in the pit of his stomach caused him to pause momentarily, looking up at the window, before he opened the door and made his way up the three flights of stairs. His pace slowed as he reached their door. With his hands in his pockets, he stopped in front of it. Minutes passed before he could bring himself to knock, unsure of what he was going to say or what her reaction was going to be. He didn't care. Beating on the only barrier left separating them, he vowed he was going to fix this. Them. Tonight.
When she opened the door, his breath caught in his throat. Even through the red splotches and disheveled hair, she was beautiful. Time seemed to freeze as they stood there, looking at each other in silence.
After what seemed like an eternity, she was the first to speak. "Noah..."
He could see she was trying to keep herself in control, but the falter in her voice when she spoke his name betrayed her. He fought the urge to wrap her in his arms when he saw the silent sobs overtaking her tiny frame. But he didn't. He wasn't entirely convinced that move would be appropriate, given the situation.
"Fuck Rach, why didn't you just tell me?" he demanded, slamming the door behind him as he stepped into the apartment.
She took a few steps backward and inhaled sharply, realizing he must have seen the performance last night. "What? That I missed you? That I wanted you to come back? Noah. You left. You're the one who walked out that door," she said, pointing at it. Tears were already pooling in her eyes.
He rolled his eyes and exhaled loudly. "Only because you told me to. Or did you forget that part?" he seethed. He was trying to keep calm, but she was infuriating. This whole situation was infuriating. All he wanted, needed, to do was pull her to him and kiss her until they made their way back to the bedroom. He knew that would have to wait though, since this conversation had to happen now.
"You were gonna leave anyway." She sat down on the arm of the couch and looked up at him with her big brown eyes, tears streaming rapidly down her cheeks.
For the second time in less than a half hour, he felt the air sucked out of his lungs. After taking a deep breath, and then subsequently releasing it, he responded. "No, I wasn't."
The look on her face showed him just how much she hadn't expected that answer from him. She looked down and played with the hem of her sweatshirt. "Yes, you were." Still averting his eyes, she added, "I heard your conversation with Sam."
So there it was. He knew something else had to have been going on that night. She hadn't seemed to be in the right frame of mind. This? It definitely explained a lot. "Well, then you only heard part of it, because it ended with me telling him that I'd never be able to make it without you." He took a few steps closer to her.
He could see that she was pondering this thought. Before speaking, she looked up at him, wiping away her tears with her sleeve. "You said this was never your dream."
"It wasn't," he replied, matter-of-factly, putting his hands at his hips. The look she gave him when he said that just about killed him. The combination of her realization of the statement as truth and horror at that thought showed clearly across her face, before she lowered her head and started sobbing a little more loudly. He moved until he was standing right in front of her, and then dropped down to his knees, tilting her head up with his forefinger, until she was staring him in the eyes. "But it was yours. So I was totally willing to stay. But you told me to go. I didn't want to stand in the way of your dreams, and it felt like that's what I was doing."
She reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand, sorrow escaping from her eyes. "Dammit, Rach. I knew you'd be fine, maybe even better off without me. So I left. Didn't even try to fight it."
"Better off without you?" she squeaked. "Do I look better off without you?" The disbelief in her voice caused him to seriously question his rationale behind leaving.
He stood up and moved to the couch. After situating himself, he pulled her off the edge and onto his lap, refusing to ignore the urge to hold her any longer. She missed him, needed him, that much was completely clear to him now. He wrapped his arms around her as she buried her face into his chest and fisted his shirt in her tiny hands, sobs, ceasing ever so slightly. He pressed his lips to the top of her head. Calmness settled over the two of them, and Puck was pretty sure he'd never been happier in his life than he was now, holding Rachel again.
She finally quieted her sobs and picked her head up off of his chest, looking up at him. He looked down at her and wondered how he had actually been able to walk himself out that door in the first place. She closed the distance between their lips and pulled him close, wrapping her arm around his neck. His hands settled on her waist and he couldn't help but nip at her lower lip, passion overtaking him. She mewled into his lips as she parted hers to make room for his tongue, which swiped quickly over her lips before darting into her mouth. Their tongues tangled feverishly before easily finding the rhythm that neither had obviously forgotten over the course of the last couple of weeks of being apart.
He felt the blood rushing south and broke their kiss only to catch his breath. She pulled away quickly before he was able to recapture her lips with his, and he froze, eyes widening. He half expected it to all end right here. Instead she put her hand on his chest, looked him in the eyes, and spoke. "I will never be better off without you. You have no idea the regret I have felt at unintentionally pushing you away. I used to think fame was the most important thing to me. In my quest for stardom, I forgot about you. I don't blame you for leaving. But you need to know one thing." She ran her fingers through what little hair remained on top of his head after he shaved it all off in an attempt at spiting her, and gave him another quick kiss, before again pulling away. "The thing is, Noah. This time apart? None of this," she motioned to everything around her. "The lead roles, the records, the appearances, the awards shows? None of this matters if you're not there by my side. I just can't do it without you."
In that moment, he thought she had never been so beautiful to him. He also knew that nothing, not even his irrational fear of her choosing fame over ‘them,’ was ever going to come between them again. Fuck it all. Next time, he vowed, she’d have to be the one walking away. He’d never let that happen however, because he’d tie her down and hold her hostage before he’d ever let her walk through that door. And that wasn’t gonna happen. But, tying her down? He couldn’t promise that wouldn’t…
He heard her call his name and snapped back to reality, a knowing smirk on his face. “Rach. Baby. I’m not going anywhere,” he said before closing the distance between their lips again.
He felt her sink into the kiss and low moan escaped from his throat. He was certain he felt a smile spread across her lips when she took the initiative to part his lips with her tongue, sliding it easily into his open mouth.
He traced a line up her back with one hand, finally resting it at the nape of her neck. His other hand rested on her lower back, pulling her closer. He broke the kiss and his lips found that spot on her neck, right behind her ear, that made her arch her back and dig her nails into his shoulder. When his tongue made gentle swirling motions on the spot, she bucked her hips and keened into his ear, causing him to inhale quickly, knowing he had to get her to the bedroom. Fast. It had been too damn long and he wanted to spend the whole night showing her just how much he regretted walking through that door. How much he still loved her.
“Oh, god. Noah,” she moaned. “I’ve missed you. So much.”
Upon hearing those words, he closed his lips on her neck and released only when he couldn’t breathe any longer, leaving his mark. With a pleased smile, he replied. “Me too, baby.”
Joining their lips once more, he hitched her legs around his hips and wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned forward ever so slightly, using his legs and one arm to stand up. She kissed a trail to his ear and latched her lips to his earlobe. He let out a low growl, his knees threatening to buckle beneath them when she pressed her pelvis into his at the same time. Her small giggle let him know that she knew exactly what she was doing.
He wasted no time in making it to the bedroom. Stripping her down, and then himself, he went to work hastily, only able to think about how much he needed to be inside of her, to feel her around him. He knew he’d have the rest of the night to take it slow. Hell, he’d have the rest of their lives together to make love to her. Not bothering to give a damn, he brought them both to the edge in a matter of minutes.
Laying there on the bed afterwards, her wrapped in his arms, he had never felt so at peace. So when she rolled over and took his length in her hands, he couldn’t help but show her how much he loved being back in their bed. Five more times, to be exact.
______________________________________________________________________________
He watched her work the room and couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. She looked absolutely radiant. It had always amazed him, the grace and poise she had when answering the same boring questions over and over again, and flitting from one reporter to the next.
Usually this was the part he hated. He’d come with her, then not see her for the rest of the night, until it was time to go home. But now that things were back on track, neither of them were gonna make the same mistake twice.
Sitting at the bar, drinking his beer, his eyes followed her through the room. He was happy to be out of the spotlight, she knew that. But it was the looks she kept shooting him across the room and the quick, stolen moments shared between them that made him realize that everything they’ve been through till now was worth it. She was living her dream and he was living his with her.
He turned to order another drink when a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. When he felt her lips graze his ear, he swiveled in his seat and put his hands on her waist. “You’re amazing,” he whispered, pulling her close and pressing his lips to hers.
She giggled and pulled away, smiling. “Are you enjoying yourself, Noah?”
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close again. Placing a kiss on top of her head, he spoke. “A night out with my wife, celebrating her number one selling major label debut? I couldn’t be happier, babe.”
After a few seconds, she moved to sit on his knee, wrapping her arm around his neck. “Neither could we,” she replied softly, kissing him on the cheek.
He arched his eyebrow, looking at her quizzically. She bit her lip and his eyes widened as she moved her hand and placed it gently on her stomach.
“Rach?” he questioned, swallowing hard.
She looked up at him, eyes beaming, and nodded excitedly. He immediately bent down and captured her lips.
He inhaled sharply as soon as she pulled away, and pressed his forehead to hers. “Let me go say goodbye to Artie and then we can get out of here, okay?” she said, winking as she stood up and made her way through the crowd to the stage.
He was certain he was grinning like an idiot. But for fuck’s sake, he didn’t care. He was gonna be a dad. And he was taking his baby mama home where he could show her exactly how excited he was. They could always start practicing for baby number two, right?