[Open log] The Way You Do The Things You Do

[firesmokerings]

Who: Asuma and everyone in his English class.
What: ...Engrish
Where: English class [Why? Because the kids speaking Engrish would be fucking hilarious.]
Warnings: Smoking. Maybe some cursing.
AIM or LJ? LJ, apparently.
Open? Open.

Comments

[karei_na]

Ino held a hand over her mouth and nose and gagged. Gods, she hated this class. Asuma, she thought, was a great teacher and she was pretty decent in pronouncing English words so those weren't the reasons. The smoking, though, just had to go. Not only did she have to scrub that awful smell out of her hair and clothes as soon as she got home, but she swore that she was going to hack up a lung one of these days because of all that damned smoke. Or maybe her skin would go yellow, shrivel up, and peel off. Eww.

Instead of doing as he said, she looked up at him with eyes that were tearing up from trying to breathe without inhaling the smoke. "Put it out!" she complained, as usual, with a few coughs for dramatic effect.

[firesmokerings]

"No." Asuma replied flatly, having no compassion for his students as they coughed and teared up before his eyes. Why the hell weren't they used to the smoke by now? Damn sissies.

"Now, we're in class. Would you please do what I told you now? Don't tell me you've learned absolutely nothing of my teachings. And you can only speak in English in here." He reminded them, with a stern glance for affect. "And since you're whining, Ino, you can start first."

[h_hyuuga]

Hinata gaped wide-eyed at Asuma as he lit up a cigarette in the middle of the class; something she’d seen him doing plenty of times before, but nevertheless it still shocked her every time she saw him do it. She didn’t dare raise her hand in objection, even as she cupped her hand over her mouth so that she could cough; she did it as quietly as possible, as to not draw attention to herself.
She felt heat rushing to her cheeks as she heard what the lesson would entail today, what would her father say if he realized this was what her school was teaching her?

After hearing Ino's complaint, Hinata smiled to herself, she was almost jealous of the way Ino could complain about things Hinata always kept to herself. She hesitantly raised her hand, barely high enough for anyone to take notice, and spoke in English carefully, “E-excuse me, Sensei? But is this really n-necessary to learning the language?”

[firesmokerings]

"Necessary like your life depends on it." Asuma replied to Hinata's question, standing from his desk and shoving one hand in his pocket. Although his reply wasn't true in the least, English was a big thing now; only everyone needed to use the language at least once in their lives, he figured. "English..." He began, stepping closer to the group of students, exhaling a long line of smoke as he stopped at Ino's desk, ready to deal with any more complaints she might have. "...Is the number one language of the world. In every non English-speaking country, it's the secondary language, and each day that passes by, more people are learning it." He glanced around to be sure the kids were paying attention to what he was saying. "You all don't want to be the only ones who don't know it just because you're too damn lazy, now get to what I told you. All of you."

[crimson_heir]

Why did he have to smoke in class? Didn't he know what that was doing to his lungs? He probably had carbon deposits an inch thick in his brachial tubes by now. Sasuke shook his head over the whole smoking thing. Then the exercise was announced. He proceeded to adopt an entirely un-Sasuke-like expression of horror. Honestly, Asuma had to be doing this purely to torture them. Relationship statements weren't essential to life. Asking where the bathroom was, maybe, but not relationship statements.

He frowned, then rummaged around and turned to his right, speaking in very very careful English. He made sure not to add the extra 'u' sound, and concentrated hard on getting his 'l' out correctly. He was already fairly good at English, but this was nonsense.

"I lob yuu."

Maybe nobody would notice that the wall was to the right of him and he was talking to a mirror.

[firesmokerings]

"Sasuke." Asuma called, motioning him to look to his left. "You speak to the person on your left. Don't be a smartass. Your English is fairly good, but you need to have a loving conversation with another student." As he removed the cigarette from between his lips, he muttered barely above a whisper, "Teaches you damn kids twice as fast."

Honestly, he wasn't surprised when Sasuke spoke to the wall instead of another person, and was sure he would have done the same thing, had he been seated in one of the desks to the far left. Though, Sasuke had seemed to have lightened the mood in the room somewhat, as his actions sent several other children giggling and muttering about how cool he was and such other things.

[crimson_heir]

Damn it. Caught out. Sasuke frowned a bit, putting his mirror down and regarding his teacher. The rest of the class had started snickering over the whole thing, though doubtless one or two of the girls were just dying to charge over there and sit in one of the seats around him. The mere thought was busy turning his stomach.

He raised his hand, speaking very very politely in English.

"With all due respect, Sarutobi-sensei, I don't believe I'm capable of that." Having a loving conversation with another student, that is. English he could do. He'd probably gouge his eyes out with a pencil if he had to look at someone and spout bad love sonnets.

[crimson_heir]

(ooc: Japanese, not English. Damn the inability to edit comments on a regular account.)

[kinmelody]

Also taking this class was Kin, who had no interest in the language at all, besides the fact she enjoyed singing in English-- only in private, of course. She sucked at singing and had wasted tons of money on it, but as long as no one heard her and mentioned it, she was content with her vocal skills.

Chewing her gum and staring out the window at some kids cutting class and skateboarding, she had to wonder why the hell she was in here and not out there. Oh yeah, because this was one of the classes she got to go through, not doing a thing, and it never seemed to matter. She'd just skip the next one. Although, this class was boring to her, extremely so when she was considering passing notes when she hated every person in the room.

With a casual glance in front of her, beside her, and then another to the person seated behind her, she figured it couldn't hurt, and began jotting something down in her notebook.

[OOC: God, I'm just making it an orgy and playing all my characters in this log.]

[feistynoodle]

English. He swore it was mandatory just to give him a hard time. Nobody would call it Naruto's best subject, in spite of how hard he tried to master it. Still, he could break the tension that some of the other student's might be feeling, if nothing else.

Forgoing the book altogether, Naruto's hand shot into the air and he began to speak in obnoxiously loud Japanese before he was called on, making sure that everyone would hear him whether they wanted to or not.

"SENSEEEI. How do I ask for directions, again? I need to find my way to Sakura's heart."

[firesmokerings]

"You want to know how to ask directions? Well, that will be an extra assignment for you, later. Now we're confessing our love." Asuma replied, with a roll of the eyes accompanied by an annoyed sigh. Really, was what he asking so difficult that not one single student could do it? He didn't want to go failing anyone or singling someone out, but it looked like it was going to have to come to just that if they didn't shape up, and soon.

"Your turn, Naruto. Pick someone and confess."

[feistynoodle]

"I was getting to the confessing part! I was working up to it! Jez. Fine. Have it your way." Nobody had a sense of humor around here. Scrunching up his nose and looking around the class for someone else (thinking he'd better give Sakura a break or she might just corner him after class), flipping through the book for some help, Naruto peered at the pages:

"Hinata. Ai kantu taku mai aizu offu yuu. Weill yuu go outu wiff meiu sometaimu?"

OOC: please forgive my horrible attempt at this -- it's hard! XD

[h_hyuuga]

Hinata froze up instantly as she heard Naruto speaking- to her- to her. Even if it was just an exercise in an English class, she could feel her face heating up. She looked down at her exercise book, even though she’d memorized most of the words- Naruto had caught her off guard. She re-read the next sentence in the fake-conversation a few times before she got up the nerve to reply.

“I wuuldu l-lovu t-touu, N-Naruto. Picku m-mei upuu atu t-two” Hinata had spoken sentences in English over and over again, and pronounciation was something she rarely found difficult until now, she'd even managed to forget the 'u''s at the ends of her words. She kept her eyes firmly on the textbook in front of her, terrified to look up and see Naruto staring at her flustered face.

[ooc; I’M SO SORRY. MY ATTEMPT WAS SO LAME AND LAUGHABLE! XD]