so, for me, one of the crazymaking parts of frustration is that feeling of being out of control, or unable to control things. in particular, i can end up with an emotional reaction based on a lifetime of things that i haven't been able to control rather than one based on the actual situation at hand. so sometimes what helps is to do something (either related or unrelated) that i *can* control. it'll settle out that "WAHHHH, I CAN'T CONTROL ANYTHING IN MY LIFE EVER" feeling down to the point where i'm reacting to the situation at hand and not every other situation like this in my life ever. or, you know, at least more so.
I do a lot of pillow-punchy, car-screamy things, myself. One of the things I do to get out frustration a bit is some kind of violent physical activity. Shovelling or carting cinder blocks around is good for this - anything that it doesn't matter if you really THROW it.
I also have a bad habit of taking it out on my loved ones. I'm trying not to do this, lately, ESPECIALLY when it's not their fault, which it usually isn't. But I get cranky. I get vicious. I try to start fights so there's something I can win. Then I get angrier and angrier, regardless of whether my fight-starting tactics work.
For me frustration requires physical activity that feels positive in nature. So the summer D. and I were angsting a lot before we broke up, I went swimming at Walden at least twice a week. It centered and grounded me, as well as burning the frustration out. I also bike frustration away, or go for long walks. For me, because I'm an "outdoorsy" kind a' gal, nothing I do in a building or in a car work. I need to get out of my head and walls seem to reflect me back into my head where as open space just takes it all and lets me keep putting it out there.
dunno if this helps or not, but that's how I deal. Sorry you're frustrated, babe.
oh yeah, knot_frayed mentioned counting. I wasn't thinking of the crisis-urgent-emergency-frustration moments. I breathe. Very, very deliberately and count my in-breaths and out-breaths. I start to breathe in and count, and if my mind wanders back to the thing that's frustrating me, off the breath, I re-start the count. It might take a couple minutes to get as high as three, but by then the crisis has passed.
I think you've gotten a lot of good answers, and I think it points to "frustration" being a bunch of things. How I deal depends on which of them it is
"angry" frustrated: I expend the anger on something inanimate.
"out of control" frustrated: I do something that I know I can control.
"panic" frustrated: I try to straighten my posture and relax major muscles as I go. It's an exercise I got from basic acting class, long ago.
"can't have" frustrated: I may give myself a small reward, and think about whether the thing I'm frustrated about/by is really that important. This one is hardest for me since I can't dispel the feeling - I have to live with it, let it flow through me.
Does any of this describe what frustration is like for you?
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I also have a bad habit of taking it out on my loved ones. I'm trying not to do this, lately, ESPECIALLY when it's not their fault, which it usually isn't. But I get cranky. I get vicious. I try to start fights so there's something I can win. Then I get angrier and angrier, regardless of whether my fight-starting tactics work.
So, yeah. Not very helpful.
-E
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dunno if this helps or not, but that's how I deal. Sorry you're frustrated, babe.
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"angry" frustrated: I expend the anger on something inanimate.
"out of control" frustrated: I do something that I know I can control.
"panic" frustrated: I try to straighten my posture and relax major muscles as I go. It's an exercise I got from basic acting class, long ago.
"can't have" frustrated: I may give myself a small reward, and think about whether the thing I'm frustrated about/by is really that important. This one is hardest for me since I can't dispel the feeling - I have to live with it, let it flow through me.
Does any of this describe what frustration is like for you?
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