fic: Reality Check
Title: Reality Check
Length: One-shot
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblence to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: This is a sequel of sorts to my fic Bitter Candy, though either fic can stand on it's own. I decided to forgo honorifics entirely rather than offend anyone's sense of correctness. The 'ie' is not intended as an honorific.
Please forgive the delay of Chapter 4 of The Long Exile. My laptop is currently at the mercy of sadistic technicians and all of my notes as well as the partial chapter I had are locked within it.
Summary: When you love someone, they have power over you... for good or ill.
~*~*~
Changmin was the only one awake when the phone rang.
At first, he wasn't even sure it was the phone and not some exhaustion induced aural hallucination. He pulled off his headphones and tilted his head to the side, listening carefully. The low trilling sound came again and he glanced at the clock on his computer. 3:00 A.M. No wonder his eyes were starting to blur with exhaustion.
Before he could do more than wince at the thought of the scolding he was going to get, the phone rang again and a dark figure stumbled out of the bedroom, cursing softly. Changmin watched quietly through the cracked door of his workroom as Yunho answered the phone. There was a spat of whispered conversation that he couldn't hear and then Yunho was sighing and hanging up.
By then, curiosity had overwhelmed the younger man's sense of self-preservation and he moved out of his hiding spot. “Yunho?”
The band leader stopped and stared at him blankly for a moment. Then he shook his head. “Go to bed, Minnie. Morning is going to come sooner than you'll be ready for.”
“What's wrong?” Because really, why else would someone be calling them at 3am?
Yunho sighed again and shrugged. “Nothing. Jaejoong needs a ride home.”
“You're going after him.” It wasn't really a question.
It was answered regardless. Yunho snorted, the self-derision clear and painful to acknowledge. “Of course.”
Changmin pretended that he didn't hear the bitter resignation in his friend's voice.
~*~*~
The sound of something thumping against the door followed by familiar giggling roused Changmin from his doze and he sat up on the couch just in time to see Yunho and Jaejoong all but fall through the door.
“Dammit Jaejoong... You're going to wake everyone up.” There was real anger and something worse - pain - in Yunho's hissed whisper, but Jaejoong was oblivious in his drunkenness.
The oldest clung to Yunho with breathless giggles. “I can't find my shoes, Yunnie.”
Yunho sighed and swung Jaejoong up into his arms bridal style after he'd kicked off his own shoes. “They're on your feet, you drunken bastard.”
He paused a moment at seeing Changmin sitting up on the couch, but said nothing.
His burden nearly toppled them both over as Jaejoong squirmed around trying to see his feet. “Are they? But I can't see them...”
With far more patience and restraint than Changmin could have managed, Yunho sat Jaejoong down in one of the living room's plush chairs and knelt in front of him. With deft movements, he untied Jae's shoes and dropped thm into the man's lap. “There. There's your shoes.”
Jaejoong gave a crow of delight and flung himself at Yunho, knocking the leader onto his back on the floor with an 'oof'. “You found them! My hero!”
“Dammit Jae...” Yunho curled a hand over Jaejoong's mouth. “Everyone else is trying to sleep.” Then he yelped and pulled his hand away.
There was a throaty quality to Jaejoong's soft laugh as he straddled Yunho properly. “Fuck me.”
Changmin froze, hardly daring to breath. He regretted trying to wait up for his elders. More than anything, he wished there was a way for him to slip away without Jaejoong noticing him.
With a quick flurry of movement, Yunho dumped Jaejoong onto the floor and sat up. “You're a lousy drunk, Jaejoong.”
But Jae was not so easily dettered from his intent. He draped himself over Yunho's back and slid his hands down into Yunho's lap. “Isn't this what you want? Me... warm and willing... hot for you....” He nibbled on Yunho's ear and Changmin could see the shudder run through Yunho's body at the sensation. “Say you don't want me... Say it ...and I'll stop...”
They scuffled for a moment before Yunho managed to trap Jaejoong against him, holding the wicked hands tight and twisting the older man around so that he couldn't get his mouth on Yunho either. “Stop it, Jaejoong. You're drunk.”
The raw pain in Yunho's voice made Changmin's heart weep and he wondered how the other man could bear it.
“What's wrong, Yunho? Not man enough to take what you want? Even when it's offered up on a silver platter?” The words were cold and biting, a taunt meant to draw blood.
He could see that they succeeded in Yunho's expression before his friend pressed his face against Jae's hair. “It's time for bed, Jaejoong. You need to sleep.”
“Don't fucking tell me what I need!” Jaejoong was struggling again, but even sober he was no match for Yunho's strength “If you're not man enough, maybe Chunnie is.” There was a vicious bite in Jaejoong's words. He knew exactly where to stab the knife and how to twist it to do the most damage. “I was thinking he and I could get a new set of tattoos. What do you think?”
“I think you need to shut the fuck up and go to sleep. We've got practice tomorrow,” Yunho ground out. He looked up at Changmin suddenly and then away as if he were ashamed.
Changmin wondered how long Yunho had been protecting them all from this side of Jaejoong. Because even though he could see how much Jae's words and actions were hurting Yunho, there was no surprise. Just a sense of having gone through this too many times to do more than deal with it.
Their struggle continued for a few more minutes, punctuated by more verbal lashing from Jaejoong's venomous tongue, but finally finally the older man lay still against Yunho's chest, drained and exhausted. “Dun feel good, Yunnie... Tired....”
Yunho nuzzled Jae's hair, his voice soft and loving despite the pain it still held. “I know, Boo... Just go to sleep, okay? You'll feel better in the morning...”
“'kay....” For a brief moment, Jaejoong snuggled close, nuzzling back, then it was like a light switch had been flipped. He just... slumped, boneless. He reminded Changmin of a child who'd reached the end of a seemingly endless well of energy before just collapsing in the lap of the one he trusted most, securely centered in his dream world.
“Go back to sleep, Changmin.”
It took a second for it to register that the quiet words were directed at him. Rather than comply, Changmin stared down at his hands. “Sorry.”
His apology seemed so shallow and inadequate in the face of the depth of Yunho's private pain.
Somehow he knew he'd witnessed something that Yunho had never wanted him - or anyone else - to see. He'd known, logically, that the relationship between his elders was complicated. He just hadn't realized how complicated.
The older man just sighed and shook his head as he gently maneuvered Jaejoong around and stood up, their friend cradled like a precious burden in his arms. “It's not your fault Jaejoong is a mean drunk, Minnie. Really... You need to get some sleep.”
It wasn't until he disappeared into the bedroom that Changmin finally looked up and stared after him.
He thought of all the times he and the others had left Yunho to deal with Jaejoong's sometimes violent mood swings, confident in their leader's ability to deal with it and just plain too worried about their own skins to think about it too deeply. Even though he'd known for months of Yunho's unrequited feelings, he'd never really thought about how much emotional damage Jaejoong could really do. Yunho just seemed so strong and solid, a protector that nothing could hurt.
But everyone had a weakness in their emotional armor, their own version of Achille's heel or kryptonite.
As he lay back down on the couch, not daring to venture into the bedroom he shared with the pair, he wondered how long this had been going on and how much more Yunho could really take before it broke him.
It was a long time before Changmin was able to fall asleep.
~*~*~
It was afternoon when he woke again.
He blinked sleepy eyes and rolled over on the couch, the muted sounds of a video game and hushed whisperings drawing his attention. “Su?”
Junsu grinned at him, leaning back from his position on the floor to ruffle his hair. “So Sleeping Beauty is alive after all....”
“No, no, get it right. He was Rip Van Winkle. Sleeping Beauty is still in the bedroom waiting for his prince to come home and wake him up,” Yoochun joked, never turning his head away from their game.
Changmin stretched and yawned, glancing around before remembering the clock that had been in the living room hadn't been replaced since Junsu had knocked it over with a soccer ball. “What time is it?” The sun pouring through the windows was coming in at the wrong angle. It looked more like the sun was going down than coming up...
“4 p.m. You and Jaejoong have slept most of the day away.”
“HUH!?!?” Changmin sat up suddenly, eyes darting around. “But practice-“
Junsu laughed and shook his head. “Yunho took care of it. He called all of us in sick and went in himself after he unplugged the phone. He left orders before he went in that we weren't to disturb you guys no matter what.” Curiosity was clear on Junsu's face, but Yunho must have left orders against questioning as well.
Laying back against the arm of the couch, Changmin was quietly considering what had happened the night before when Jaejoong stumbled out of the bedroom. He ignored them completely as he disappeared into the bathroom. Almost a half an hour later, he reappeared looking subdued, but somewhat more human.
He glanced at the three of them and then around the room, searching, before returning his gaze to them. “Where's Yunho?”
“Apparently he went to work for all of us today,” Changmin replied, unable to keep the hint of disapproval out of his voice even though he was reasonably sure Jaejoong didn't realize he knew what had occurred the night before. It only made him feel bad, though, to see Jaejoong wince, guilty knowledge rising up in his expression.
“We're sick,” Junsu declared before crowing in delight when he finally managed to beat Yoochun's car across the finish line. “Food poisoning, I think he said.” He glanced at Yoochun for confirmation and nodded along with it. “Yep, we all ate something bad except Yunho.”
“When will he be home?”
YooSu shrugged in sync, obviously considering it unimportant.
For a moment, Jaejoong hovered uncertainly, but in the end he disappeared into the kitchen.
Somehow Changmin didn't think Yunho would appreciate it if he stormed the kitchen and demanded to know why Jaejoong was such a bastard to someone who loved him as much as Yunho obviously did. Besides which, it just... didn't feel right. He got up and headed to his workroom. He couldn't think about it just then and hookie day or not, he still had studying to do for school.
He wasn't sure how long he lost himself in the nice orderly world of math and science, where things made sense and people didn't get hurt, before a knock on the door jarred him out of his haze and he glanced up to see Yunho leaning through the doorway. “Dinner's ready.”
“Thanks,” Changmin said, stretching the kinks out of his back before standing and following the other man out. At the dining table, Junsu and Yoochun were already sitting, practically twitching in anticipation.
“Jaejoong cooked for us!” Junsu declared, a happy boy thrilled to be sharing such a treat-filled secret with his friend. Changmin couldn't help but smile back at him, caught up in the excitement despite himself. Jaejoong hadn't cooked for them in months and his stomach had sorely missed it.
Dinner was a lively affair, Yunho relating the story of how he'd been assigned to cover dance training for some of the young up and comers the studio had been working with and the mishaps that had occurred throughout the day to the bright laughter of the rest of the band. The food was good... the company was good... Changmin almost forgot that there was anything wrong at all.
Then Jaejoong disappeared into the kitchen and returned with two small cakes that he placed on the table. Eyes wide with delight, Junsu and Changmin both reached out only to get their hands slapped. “Wait your turn,” Jaejoong scolded. Then he cut a fairly hefty piece out and held it out in front of Yunho.
Changmin didn't think either Yoochun or Junsu even noticed the hesitancy, the slight tremor in Jaejoong's hand as he offered the treat.
And quite suddenly he could remember dozens of instances when this exact thing had occurred in the past, less frequently as their time together had lengthened. Something they had all chalked up to too much to do and too little time to do it in, but that Changmin could now see for what it really was.
An apology....
There was a brief flash of something in Yunho's eyes as he hesitated, resignation that was becoming far too familiar to Changmin. Then he smiled the same smile he always wore, a little brittle around the edges, but no less sincere for the pain it masked, and took the plate from Jaejoong. “Thank you, Jaejoongie.”
...accepted.
~*~*~
The End.
Length: One-shot
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblence to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: This is a sequel of sorts to my fic Bitter Candy, though either fic can stand on it's own. I decided to forgo honorifics entirely rather than offend anyone's sense of correctness. The 'ie' is not intended as an honorific.
Please forgive the delay of Chapter 4 of The Long Exile. My laptop is currently at the mercy of sadistic technicians and all of my notes as well as the partial chapter I had are locked within it.
Summary: When you love someone, they have power over you... for good or ill.
~*~*~
Changmin was the only one awake when the phone rang.
At first, he wasn't even sure it was the phone and not some exhaustion induced aural hallucination. He pulled off his headphones and tilted his head to the side, listening carefully. The low trilling sound came again and he glanced at the clock on his computer. 3:00 A.M. No wonder his eyes were starting to blur with exhaustion.
Before he could do more than wince at the thought of the scolding he was going to get, the phone rang again and a dark figure stumbled out of the bedroom, cursing softly. Changmin watched quietly through the cracked door of his workroom as Yunho answered the phone. There was a spat of whispered conversation that he couldn't hear and then Yunho was sighing and hanging up.
By then, curiosity had overwhelmed the younger man's sense of self-preservation and he moved out of his hiding spot. “Yunho?”
The band leader stopped and stared at him blankly for a moment. Then he shook his head. “Go to bed, Minnie. Morning is going to come sooner than you'll be ready for.”
“What's wrong?” Because really, why else would someone be calling them at 3am?
Yunho sighed again and shrugged. “Nothing. Jaejoong needs a ride home.”
“You're going after him.” It wasn't really a question.
It was answered regardless. Yunho snorted, the self-derision clear and painful to acknowledge. “Of course.”
Changmin pretended that he didn't hear the bitter resignation in his friend's voice.
~*~*~
The sound of something thumping against the door followed by familiar giggling roused Changmin from his doze and he sat up on the couch just in time to see Yunho and Jaejoong all but fall through the door.
“Dammit Jaejoong... You're going to wake everyone up.” There was real anger and something worse - pain - in Yunho's hissed whisper, but Jaejoong was oblivious in his drunkenness.
The oldest clung to Yunho with breathless giggles. “I can't find my shoes, Yunnie.”
Yunho sighed and swung Jaejoong up into his arms bridal style after he'd kicked off his own shoes. “They're on your feet, you drunken bastard.”
He paused a moment at seeing Changmin sitting up on the couch, but said nothing.
His burden nearly toppled them both over as Jaejoong squirmed around trying to see his feet. “Are they? But I can't see them...”
With far more patience and restraint than Changmin could have managed, Yunho sat Jaejoong down in one of the living room's plush chairs and knelt in front of him. With deft movements, he untied Jae's shoes and dropped thm into the man's lap. “There. There's your shoes.”
Jaejoong gave a crow of delight and flung himself at Yunho, knocking the leader onto his back on the floor with an 'oof'. “You found them! My hero!”
“Dammit Jae...” Yunho curled a hand over Jaejoong's mouth. “Everyone else is trying to sleep.” Then he yelped and pulled his hand away.
There was a throaty quality to Jaejoong's soft laugh as he straddled Yunho properly. “Fuck me.”
Changmin froze, hardly daring to breath. He regretted trying to wait up for his elders. More than anything, he wished there was a way for him to slip away without Jaejoong noticing him.
With a quick flurry of movement, Yunho dumped Jaejoong onto the floor and sat up. “You're a lousy drunk, Jaejoong.”
But Jae was not so easily dettered from his intent. He draped himself over Yunho's back and slid his hands down into Yunho's lap. “Isn't this what you want? Me... warm and willing... hot for you....” He nibbled on Yunho's ear and Changmin could see the shudder run through Yunho's body at the sensation. “Say you don't want me... Say it ...and I'll stop...”
They scuffled for a moment before Yunho managed to trap Jaejoong against him, holding the wicked hands tight and twisting the older man around so that he couldn't get his mouth on Yunho either. “Stop it, Jaejoong. You're drunk.”
The raw pain in Yunho's voice made Changmin's heart weep and he wondered how the other man could bear it.
“What's wrong, Yunho? Not man enough to take what you want? Even when it's offered up on a silver platter?” The words were cold and biting, a taunt meant to draw blood.
He could see that they succeeded in Yunho's expression before his friend pressed his face against Jae's hair. “It's time for bed, Jaejoong. You need to sleep.”
“Don't fucking tell me what I need!” Jaejoong was struggling again, but even sober he was no match for Yunho's strength “If you're not man enough, maybe Chunnie is.” There was a vicious bite in Jaejoong's words. He knew exactly where to stab the knife and how to twist it to do the most damage. “I was thinking he and I could get a new set of tattoos. What do you think?”
“I think you need to shut the fuck up and go to sleep. We've got practice tomorrow,” Yunho ground out. He looked up at Changmin suddenly and then away as if he were ashamed.
Changmin wondered how long Yunho had been protecting them all from this side of Jaejoong. Because even though he could see how much Jae's words and actions were hurting Yunho, there was no surprise. Just a sense of having gone through this too many times to do more than deal with it.
Their struggle continued for a few more minutes, punctuated by more verbal lashing from Jaejoong's venomous tongue, but finally finally the older man lay still against Yunho's chest, drained and exhausted. “Dun feel good, Yunnie... Tired....”
Yunho nuzzled Jae's hair, his voice soft and loving despite the pain it still held. “I know, Boo... Just go to sleep, okay? You'll feel better in the morning...”
“'kay....” For a brief moment, Jaejoong snuggled close, nuzzling back, then it was like a light switch had been flipped. He just... slumped, boneless. He reminded Changmin of a child who'd reached the end of a seemingly endless well of energy before just collapsing in the lap of the one he trusted most, securely centered in his dream world.
“Go back to sleep, Changmin.”
It took a second for it to register that the quiet words were directed at him. Rather than comply, Changmin stared down at his hands. “Sorry.”
His apology seemed so shallow and inadequate in the face of the depth of Yunho's private pain.
Somehow he knew he'd witnessed something that Yunho had never wanted him - or anyone else - to see. He'd known, logically, that the relationship between his elders was complicated. He just hadn't realized how complicated.
The older man just sighed and shook his head as he gently maneuvered Jaejoong around and stood up, their friend cradled like a precious burden in his arms. “It's not your fault Jaejoong is a mean drunk, Minnie. Really... You need to get some sleep.”
It wasn't until he disappeared into the bedroom that Changmin finally looked up and stared after him.
He thought of all the times he and the others had left Yunho to deal with Jaejoong's sometimes violent mood swings, confident in their leader's ability to deal with it and just plain too worried about their own skins to think about it too deeply. Even though he'd known for months of Yunho's unrequited feelings, he'd never really thought about how much emotional damage Jaejoong could really do. Yunho just seemed so strong and solid, a protector that nothing could hurt.
But everyone had a weakness in their emotional armor, their own version of Achille's heel or kryptonite.
As he lay back down on the couch, not daring to venture into the bedroom he shared with the pair, he wondered how long this had been going on and how much more Yunho could really take before it broke him.
It was a long time before Changmin was able to fall asleep.
~*~*~
It was afternoon when he woke again.
He blinked sleepy eyes and rolled over on the couch, the muted sounds of a video game and hushed whisperings drawing his attention. “Su?”
Junsu grinned at him, leaning back from his position on the floor to ruffle his hair. “So Sleeping Beauty is alive after all....”
“No, no, get it right. He was Rip Van Winkle. Sleeping Beauty is still in the bedroom waiting for his prince to come home and wake him up,” Yoochun joked, never turning his head away from their game.
Changmin stretched and yawned, glancing around before remembering the clock that had been in the living room hadn't been replaced since Junsu had knocked it over with a soccer ball. “What time is it?” The sun pouring through the windows was coming in at the wrong angle. It looked more like the sun was going down than coming up...
“4 p.m. You and Jaejoong have slept most of the day away.”
“HUH!?!?” Changmin sat up suddenly, eyes darting around. “But practice-“
Junsu laughed and shook his head. “Yunho took care of it. He called all of us in sick and went in himself after he unplugged the phone. He left orders before he went in that we weren't to disturb you guys no matter what.” Curiosity was clear on Junsu's face, but Yunho must have left orders against questioning as well.
Laying back against the arm of the couch, Changmin was quietly considering what had happened the night before when Jaejoong stumbled out of the bedroom. He ignored them completely as he disappeared into the bathroom. Almost a half an hour later, he reappeared looking subdued, but somewhat more human.
He glanced at the three of them and then around the room, searching, before returning his gaze to them. “Where's Yunho?”
“Apparently he went to work for all of us today,” Changmin replied, unable to keep the hint of disapproval out of his voice even though he was reasonably sure Jaejoong didn't realize he knew what had occurred the night before. It only made him feel bad, though, to see Jaejoong wince, guilty knowledge rising up in his expression.
“We're sick,” Junsu declared before crowing in delight when he finally managed to beat Yoochun's car across the finish line. “Food poisoning, I think he said.” He glanced at Yoochun for confirmation and nodded along with it. “Yep, we all ate something bad except Yunho.”
“When will he be home?”
YooSu shrugged in sync, obviously considering it unimportant.
For a moment, Jaejoong hovered uncertainly, but in the end he disappeared into the kitchen.
Somehow Changmin didn't think Yunho would appreciate it if he stormed the kitchen and demanded to know why Jaejoong was such a bastard to someone who loved him as much as Yunho obviously did. Besides which, it just... didn't feel right. He got up and headed to his workroom. He couldn't think about it just then and hookie day or not, he still had studying to do for school.
He wasn't sure how long he lost himself in the nice orderly world of math and science, where things made sense and people didn't get hurt, before a knock on the door jarred him out of his haze and he glanced up to see Yunho leaning through the doorway. “Dinner's ready.”
“Thanks,” Changmin said, stretching the kinks out of his back before standing and following the other man out. At the dining table, Junsu and Yoochun were already sitting, practically twitching in anticipation.
“Jaejoong cooked for us!” Junsu declared, a happy boy thrilled to be sharing such a treat-filled secret with his friend. Changmin couldn't help but smile back at him, caught up in the excitement despite himself. Jaejoong hadn't cooked for them in months and his stomach had sorely missed it.
Dinner was a lively affair, Yunho relating the story of how he'd been assigned to cover dance training for some of the young up and comers the studio had been working with and the mishaps that had occurred throughout the day to the bright laughter of the rest of the band. The food was good... the company was good... Changmin almost forgot that there was anything wrong at all.
Then Jaejoong disappeared into the kitchen and returned with two small cakes that he placed on the table. Eyes wide with delight, Junsu and Changmin both reached out only to get their hands slapped. “Wait your turn,” Jaejoong scolded. Then he cut a fairly hefty piece out and held it out in front of Yunho.
Changmin didn't think either Yoochun or Junsu even noticed the hesitancy, the slight tremor in Jaejoong's hand as he offered the treat.
And quite suddenly he could remember dozens of instances when this exact thing had occurred in the past, less frequently as their time together had lengthened. Something they had all chalked up to too much to do and too little time to do it in, but that Changmin could now see for what it really was.
An apology....
There was a brief flash of something in Yunho's eyes as he hesitated, resignation that was becoming far too familiar to Changmin. Then he smiled the same smile he always wore, a little brittle around the edges, but no less sincere for the pain it masked, and took the plate from Jaejoong. “Thank you, Jaejoongie.”
...accepted.
~*~*~
The End.