(no subject)
Wow. Today I was filled with rage and incoherence for no reason I can figure out. I mean, the day started out fine? I was all happy and thrilled to be sharing crack-filled joy and all of that, and then I nose-dived into the aforementioned rage and incoherence.
AWESOME.
But then! But then I re-read the wolfshirts post in which Brian is turned into a tiny child, but with his normal brain! And I was filled with joy. And envisioned happy scenarios in which Mikey steals someone's cigarettes for Brian, and hands him one of those cheap little gas station lighters. The only problem is that Brian can't work the lighter with his tiny child hands! So Mikey takes the lighter from him and lights Brian's cigarette. (Ahaha, totally not a euphemism, sorry.) And then take-out food appears magically out of nowhere, but I don't care because it makes me happy, dammit!
"Fucking three year-old body," Brian mutters around the cigarette because it's. It's humiliating, is what it is.
Mikey doesn't say anything when he hands the lighter back, and Brian shoves it into one of the ten billion pockets in his stupid little kid cargo pants with Elmo's stupid face on it.
His body is fucking tiny, he can't get his body to work the damn lighter, and Jesus fucking Christ, he is seriously going to lose it if Gerard offers to paint his face or Frank tries to give him the, "Don't take candy from strangers!" speech just one more damned time.
The only bright side is that he's wearing a Superman shirt, and Gerard gets this look in his eye like he wants to start something every time he sees Brian in it. Brian knows that Gerard won't actually say anything because it was a gift from a fan who thought it was "so adorable" that the band was looking after the kid of whoever the hell Brian's parents are supposed to be this week.
"Okay, this one's yours," Mikey says, taking a carryout container out of the bag on the table and sliding it over to him.
Brian squints at it, wary that maybe even Mikey, who's been the only one to treat him exactly the same, or as close to it as he can, forgot or thought it would be fucking funny to order the kid's meal thing, but no. No, Brian realizes when the rest of the band starts popping up out of the woodwork now that there's food to be had, the paper bags with cartoon faces and bubble letters all over them are for Gerard and Frank, the fuckers.
Mikey ordered him real food, an actual adult meal even though they both know there's no way Brian's going to be able to finish it, not with the way he is at the moment.
Brian glares at Gerard when Gerard looks like he's going to voice his concerns about Brian smoking when he barely reaches Frank's knees, and so help him, Brian is going to bite Gerard's fucking knees if he brings that up again.
"Holy shit!"
Frank's waving the little toy prize from his kid's meal at Gerard, and it's probably the only thing that saves both of them.
Brian smiles in spite of himself because the toy surprises are actually kind of cool this time around. They're still cheap pieces of crap likely to break five minutes out of the nearly indestructible plastic bag they come in, but they're action figures from the latest comic book based movie. And okay, so Brian might look like a kid, but he isn't actually one and there's no reason he should feel -
"Here," Mikey whispers in his ear, pressing something into his hand under the table where the others can't see. "The girl working drive-through recognized us and gave us extras."
Brian rolls his eyes, but he pockets the little toy and settles down to eat with the others. He can almost pretend things are back to normal when Mikey starts swiping his fries and Gerard and Frank stage a mini-battle for control of the mound of ketchup packets in the middle of the table with their new action figures.
Ray looks like he wants to bury his face in his hands, and the pinched look on Bob's face says it's only a matter of time before he snaps, and yeah, things are as close to normal as they're likely to get for them.
AWESOME.
But then! But then I re-read the wolfshirts post in which Brian is turned into a tiny child, but with his normal brain! And I was filled with joy. And envisioned happy scenarios in which Mikey steals someone's cigarettes for Brian, and hands him one of those cheap little gas station lighters. The only problem is that Brian can't work the lighter with his tiny child hands! So Mikey takes the lighter from him and lights Brian's cigarette. (Ahaha, totally not a euphemism, sorry.) And then take-out food appears magically out of nowhere, but I don't care because it makes me happy, dammit!
"Fucking three year-old body," Brian mutters around the cigarette because it's. It's humiliating, is what it is.
Mikey doesn't say anything when he hands the lighter back, and Brian shoves it into one of the ten billion pockets in his stupid little kid cargo pants with Elmo's stupid face on it.
His body is fucking tiny, he can't get his body to work the damn lighter, and Jesus fucking Christ, he is seriously going to lose it if Gerard offers to paint his face or Frank tries to give him the, "Don't take candy from strangers!" speech just one more damned time.
The only bright side is that he's wearing a Superman shirt, and Gerard gets this look in his eye like he wants to start something every time he sees Brian in it. Brian knows that Gerard won't actually say anything because it was a gift from a fan who thought it was "so adorable" that the band was looking after the kid of whoever the hell Brian's parents are supposed to be this week.
"Okay, this one's yours," Mikey says, taking a carryout container out of the bag on the table and sliding it over to him.
Brian squints at it, wary that maybe even Mikey, who's been the only one to treat him exactly the same, or as close to it as he can, forgot or thought it would be fucking funny to order the kid's meal thing, but no. No, Brian realizes when the rest of the band starts popping up out of the woodwork now that there's food to be had, the paper bags with cartoon faces and bubble letters all over them are for Gerard and Frank, the fuckers.
Mikey ordered him real food, an actual adult meal even though they both know there's no way Brian's going to be able to finish it, not with the way he is at the moment.
Brian glares at Gerard when Gerard looks like he's going to voice his concerns about Brian smoking when he barely reaches Frank's knees, and so help him, Brian is going to bite Gerard's fucking knees if he brings that up again.
"Holy shit!"
Frank's waving the little toy prize from his kid's meal at Gerard, and it's probably the only thing that saves both of them.
Brian smiles in spite of himself because the toy surprises are actually kind of cool this time around. They're still cheap pieces of crap likely to break five minutes out of the nearly indestructible plastic bag they come in, but they're action figures from the latest comic book based movie. And okay, so Brian might look like a kid, but he isn't actually one and there's no reason he should feel -
"Here," Mikey whispers in his ear, pressing something into his hand under the table where the others can't see. "The girl working drive-through recognized us and gave us extras."
Brian rolls his eyes, but he pockets the little toy and settles down to eat with the others. He can almost pretend things are back to normal when Mikey starts swiping his fries and Gerard and Frank stage a mini-battle for control of the mound of ketchup packets in the middle of the table with their new action figures.
Ray looks like he wants to bury his face in his hands, and the pinched look on Bob's face says it's only a matter of time before he snaps, and yeah, things are as close to normal as they're likely to get for them.