(no subject)
I love that lately when I'm working on fleshing out outlines for fics I'm working on instead of writing "And then stuff happened." when I get to the end of a scene I now write "And then shenanigans." Because clearly, that is far more indicative of what will eventually happen.
ALSO. Because I was thinking about it randomly today while folding towels? (My life, so exciting!) A little more from this universe. (HAHAHA I'm so tempted to call it the "Angels and Kings" universe, but suspect that would be higly lame of me.)
Matt Cortez fills in for various Protection Agents (formerly known as Guardian Angels), when they need a break or go on vacation or whatever. He kind of likes it because he gets to meet a bunch of different people where by "meet" he means "protect from painful, gruesome death". And he actually gets a bigger paycheck and an unbelievable expense account than the permanent guys because he ends up getting sent all over the world, and since he's one of the best they don't want to lose him. Anyway, he's been filling in for the guy responsible for keeping Frank from dying an untimely death for a few months now because the regular guy had a nervous breakdown or something.
Matt likes Frank, but he's still having trouble keeping up with him because apparently Frank is one of the few people alive who may not actually have a death wish? But might as well with all the stupid things he does. Frank has this habit of hurling himself off impossibly high things and expecting not to die, which you know, means he's probably more than a little crazy in the head. Matt feels really bad that Frank's regular guy had to be carted off because he'd somehow, Matt suspects magic of some sort, kept Frank alive for twenty-something years. He totally deserved a raise or promotion or something for that, not a padded room.
Matt's just sort of embarrassingly, ridiculously happy he's kept Frank alive for the short while he's been watching him. He also maybe understands why Frank's regular guy started laughing when Matt asked if there was anything special about Frank he needed to know before taking the job. Matt knows there's always stuff about the people they get assigned to that don't end up in their files, right? He figures it doesn't hurt to ask.
Mikey drags Gerard to see this band that has this song about dead goldfish or whatever, right? They're supposed to be good and if Gerard's serious about starting a band to keep an eye on Patrick and make sure Pete's not trying to turn him to the Dark Side or whatever he ought to check the music scene out to see what it's all about.
Mikey goes off to talk to someone he knows after leaving Gerard by the side by the stage to watch the show. Gerard sees this tiny, tiny little guy. This tiny, tiny little guy with this amazing smile and wow, kind of unfortunate hair, and this guy, right? He gets up on stage and starts singing and it's not that great, but it's not terrible either, but the kids seem to like it.
Gerard's watching when the guy - the tiny little guy - throws himself off the stage after the last song and it's like. No one's there to catch him because he didn't look first, and the kids are mostly drunk or high or both and wandering away now that the band's done and the tiny guy's going to die a horrible painful death - or just, like break his face a lot. Gerard kind of nudges him a little, and the guy doesn't hit the floor with his face. He gets up bitching about all the guys who didn't catch him but he's not broken, so it's all good in Gerard's book.
Until he realizes what he just did.
He tries to edge his way back to the wall, hopes that whoever is assigned to Frank isn't going to file an official complaint against Gerard for interfering or something, and he can see Mikey watching him from across the room with this worried look on his face. It's a big no-no to interfere with other Protection Agents' assignments. It would count as a black mark in Gerard's file and could keep him from getting a future promotion or, worse, get him demoted out of the field.
Gerard actually really likes being out in the field with Mikey, even if he has to deal with stupid Pete and stupid Joe messing around with Patrick who should totally know better but obviously does not.
And that's when Gerard looks around and sees this other guy staring at him. This guy with a little badge pinned on his sleeve that Gerard recognizes because he has one just like it on his sleeve and so does Mikey and and oh, hey, WINGS.
Gerard tries to remember how the words go when you want to apologize for making such a huge faux pas - he's pretty sure they don't go "Fuck me.", but you know, he could be wrong.
(It's a common misconception that people in Gerard's position can't swear, because really, with half the shit they deal with on a regular basis it would be unfair. And a little cruel.)
Matt smiles at Gerard and sort of goes to hug him - it's a little awkward with the wings but they manage - and he maybe hugs Gerard a little too tight and could possibly be on the verge of real, actual tears.
"Oh, man, oh, man. Thank you so much." Matt tells him, and he's not actually about to cry? But it's close. He's relatively certain Frank would have died or incurred severe brain damage if Gerard hadn't interfered, and having your assignment - even if it's only temporary - maim or kill themselves on your watch is seriously bad news for your career. "I just got assigned to him a little while ago and it's...he's like a level four and I've mostly dealt with twos and maybe a three once so it's. You know, it's a little difficult trying to adjust."
Gerard's all "Hey, no, it's cool." and just really, really relieved that this guy - "Matt Cortez, nice to meet you." - isn't going to file a complaint and that's when Mikey comes over and Matt's all "Oh! Oh, hey. You're like the Way brothers, huh?"
And okay, it's not like Gerard and Mikey are really all that old - neither of them were around at the Beginning - but they are pretty good at what they do, which is why they have special permission to work together as a team.
They have reputations for being able to handle the level sixes and above, even though anyone above a five don't tend to last long even with agents like the Way brothers assigned to them. They're just too high risk, and sometimes even agents can't always protect them from themselves. There's this rumor, though, and Matt's pretty sure it's like an urban legend or something, that they usually manage to get their high-risk assignments downgraded to threes and twos when given enough time with them. Which, you know, is pretty much impossible, so it can't be true. Seriously.
(Patrick's a level one, based on actual risk level, but he's also got one of the Special files with a lot of notes and notices and 'Eyes Only' stamped all over it that means only agents with high enough clearance like Gerard, Mikey and Andy are allowed near it.)
Matt's wondering if it would be lame of him to ask them for an autograph or something when they hear a bunch of people yelling "Fight! Fight!" and Matt realizes he hasn't actually seen Frank for like five minutes, so he's probably off trying to get himself killed. He excuses himself and runs off to see what new and exciting way Frank's found to seriously injure himself with this time and that's how Gerard and Mikey meet Frank without actually meeting him for the first time.
Brian Schecter is in charge of keeping an eye on Gerard and Mikey, and he's pretty sure it's some kind of punishment for something he did. He just can't quite figure out what it was. If he could, he would go down on his knees to apologize, no lie.
His official title says something about management-supervisory-something, something - Brian doesn't remember what the whole thing is, but he knows it's a completely made up title.
Gerard and Mikey are really, really good at their jobs, they're probably two of the best agents Brian's ever seen, but they're also...special. So very, very special.
He's lost track of the times Gerard's come to him with "Oh, hey, you know what would be a great idea?" that usually ends in major disaster for, well, mostly Brian. Except for that time Gerard volunteered to fill in for that Peet guy's usual agent for a while there when Mikey was still working in the mailroom. That had turned out to be a pretty spectacular idea all around, actually.*
Still.
Brian feels kind of bad when he has to veto several of Gerard's schemes to rescue Patrick from Pete's "Vile clutches, Brian. Utterly vile clutches.", mainly because Patrick seems perfectly content where he is. And also, it's kind of against the rules to break out the flaming swords unless communications have broken down far past the point of repair.
Mikey just sits on the couch in Brian's office and listens to his iPod while Brian has to sit through slide presentation after slide presentation trying to look somewhat interested.
"ACME doesn't actually sell anvils, Gerard." Mikey says one time, and Brian has no idea what that means, but is also sure he doesn't really want to know. "Also, I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist."
Except for how it does, and Gerard has an entire presentation devoted to the many varied companies with the name and an additional bonus rant at the end denouncing all of them for failing to carry anything even vaguely resembling an anvil. It's a long, exhausting experience and Brian spends the entire presentation wracking his brain for whatever it is he could have done to deserve having to deal with the Way brothers on a daily basis.
AND THEN SHENANIGANS.
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* Ahaha, look at me being clever! Also, something like continuity! Or that other word, I get them mixed up sometimes.
...I don't even know anymore, I just wanted to get Matt and Brian involved somehow.
NEXT TIME WILL BE THE EPIC EMO-TRAGIC LOVE STORY OF FRANK AND GERARD, IF I EVER GET IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
(And by "epic emo-tragic love story" clearly I mean "retarded shenanigans".)
ALSO. Because I was thinking about it randomly today while folding towels? (My life, so exciting!) A little more from this universe. (HAHAHA I'm so tempted to call it the "Angels and Kings" universe, but suspect that would be higly lame of me.)
Matt Cortez fills in for various Protection Agents (formerly known as Guardian Angels), when they need a break or go on vacation or whatever. He kind of likes it because he gets to meet a bunch of different people where by "meet" he means "protect from painful, gruesome death". And he actually gets a bigger paycheck and an unbelievable expense account than the permanent guys because he ends up getting sent all over the world, and since he's one of the best they don't want to lose him. Anyway, he's been filling in for the guy responsible for keeping Frank from dying an untimely death for a few months now because the regular guy had a nervous breakdown or something.
Matt likes Frank, but he's still having trouble keeping up with him because apparently Frank is one of the few people alive who may not actually have a death wish? But might as well with all the stupid things he does. Frank has this habit of hurling himself off impossibly high things and expecting not to die, which you know, means he's probably more than a little crazy in the head. Matt feels really bad that Frank's regular guy had to be carted off because he'd somehow, Matt suspects magic of some sort, kept Frank alive for twenty-something years. He totally deserved a raise or promotion or something for that, not a padded room.
Matt's just sort of embarrassingly, ridiculously happy he's kept Frank alive for the short while he's been watching him. He also maybe understands why Frank's regular guy started laughing when Matt asked if there was anything special about Frank he needed to know before taking the job. Matt knows there's always stuff about the people they get assigned to that don't end up in their files, right? He figures it doesn't hurt to ask.
Mikey drags Gerard to see this band that has this song about dead goldfish or whatever, right? They're supposed to be good and if Gerard's serious about starting a band to keep an eye on Patrick and make sure Pete's not trying to turn him to the Dark Side or whatever he ought to check the music scene out to see what it's all about.
Mikey goes off to talk to someone he knows after leaving Gerard by the side by the stage to watch the show. Gerard sees this tiny, tiny little guy. This tiny, tiny little guy with this amazing smile and wow, kind of unfortunate hair, and this guy, right? He gets up on stage and starts singing and it's not that great, but it's not terrible either, but the kids seem to like it.
Gerard's watching when the guy - the tiny little guy - throws himself off the stage after the last song and it's like. No one's there to catch him because he didn't look first, and the kids are mostly drunk or high or both and wandering away now that the band's done and the tiny guy's going to die a horrible painful death - or just, like break his face a lot. Gerard kind of nudges him a little, and the guy doesn't hit the floor with his face. He gets up bitching about all the guys who didn't catch him but he's not broken, so it's all good in Gerard's book.
Until he realizes what he just did.
He tries to edge his way back to the wall, hopes that whoever is assigned to Frank isn't going to file an official complaint against Gerard for interfering or something, and he can see Mikey watching him from across the room with this worried look on his face. It's a big no-no to interfere with other Protection Agents' assignments. It would count as a black mark in Gerard's file and could keep him from getting a future promotion or, worse, get him demoted out of the field.
Gerard actually really likes being out in the field with Mikey, even if he has to deal with stupid Pete and stupid Joe messing around with Patrick who should totally know better but obviously does not.
And that's when Gerard looks around and sees this other guy staring at him. This guy with a little badge pinned on his sleeve that Gerard recognizes because he has one just like it on his sleeve and so does Mikey and and oh, hey, WINGS.
Gerard tries to remember how the words go when you want to apologize for making such a huge faux pas - he's pretty sure they don't go "Fuck me.", but you know, he could be wrong.
(It's a common misconception that people in Gerard's position can't swear, because really, with half the shit they deal with on a regular basis it would be unfair. And a little cruel.)
Matt smiles at Gerard and sort of goes to hug him - it's a little awkward with the wings but they manage - and he maybe hugs Gerard a little too tight and could possibly be on the verge of real, actual tears.
"Oh, man, oh, man. Thank you so much." Matt tells him, and he's not actually about to cry? But it's close. He's relatively certain Frank would have died or incurred severe brain damage if Gerard hadn't interfered, and having your assignment - even if it's only temporary - maim or kill themselves on your watch is seriously bad news for your career. "I just got assigned to him a little while ago and it's...he's like a level four and I've mostly dealt with twos and maybe a three once so it's. You know, it's a little difficult trying to adjust."
Gerard's all "Hey, no, it's cool." and just really, really relieved that this guy - "Matt Cortez, nice to meet you." - isn't going to file a complaint and that's when Mikey comes over and Matt's all "Oh! Oh, hey. You're like the Way brothers, huh?"
And okay, it's not like Gerard and Mikey are really all that old - neither of them were around at the Beginning - but they are pretty good at what they do, which is why they have special permission to work together as a team.
They have reputations for being able to handle the level sixes and above, even though anyone above a five don't tend to last long even with agents like the Way brothers assigned to them. They're just too high risk, and sometimes even agents can't always protect them from themselves. There's this rumor, though, and Matt's pretty sure it's like an urban legend or something, that they usually manage to get their high-risk assignments downgraded to threes and twos when given enough time with them. Which, you know, is pretty much impossible, so it can't be true. Seriously.
(Patrick's a level one, based on actual risk level, but he's also got one of the Special files with a lot of notes and notices and 'Eyes Only' stamped all over it that means only agents with high enough clearance like Gerard, Mikey and Andy are allowed near it.)
Matt's wondering if it would be lame of him to ask them for an autograph or something when they hear a bunch of people yelling "Fight! Fight!" and Matt realizes he hasn't actually seen Frank for like five minutes, so he's probably off trying to get himself killed. He excuses himself and runs off to see what new and exciting way Frank's found to seriously injure himself with this time and that's how Gerard and Mikey meet Frank without actually meeting him for the first time.
Brian Schecter is in charge of keeping an eye on Gerard and Mikey, and he's pretty sure it's some kind of punishment for something he did. He just can't quite figure out what it was. If he could, he would go down on his knees to apologize, no lie.
His official title says something about management-supervisory-something, something - Brian doesn't remember what the whole thing is, but he knows it's a completely made up title.
Gerard and Mikey are really, really good at their jobs, they're probably two of the best agents Brian's ever seen, but they're also...special. So very, very special.
He's lost track of the times Gerard's come to him with "Oh, hey, you know what would be a great idea?" that usually ends in major disaster for, well, mostly Brian. Except for that time Gerard volunteered to fill in for that Peet guy's usual agent for a while there when Mikey was still working in the mailroom. That had turned out to be a pretty spectacular idea all around, actually.*
Still.
Brian feels kind of bad when he has to veto several of Gerard's schemes to rescue Patrick from Pete's "Vile clutches, Brian. Utterly vile clutches.", mainly because Patrick seems perfectly content where he is. And also, it's kind of against the rules to break out the flaming swords unless communications have broken down far past the point of repair.
Mikey just sits on the couch in Brian's office and listens to his iPod while Brian has to sit through slide presentation after slide presentation trying to look somewhat interested.
"ACME doesn't actually sell anvils, Gerard." Mikey says one time, and Brian has no idea what that means, but is also sure he doesn't really want to know. "Also, I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist."
Except for how it does, and Gerard has an entire presentation devoted to the many varied companies with the name and an additional bonus rant at the end denouncing all of them for failing to carry anything even vaguely resembling an anvil. It's a long, exhausting experience and Brian spends the entire presentation wracking his brain for whatever it is he could have done to deserve having to deal with the Way brothers on a daily basis.
AND THEN SHENANIGANS.
==================================
==================================
* Ahaha, look at me being clever! Also, something like continuity! Or that other word, I get them mixed up sometimes.
...I don't even know anymore, I just wanted to get Matt and Brian involved somehow.
NEXT TIME WILL BE THE EPIC EMO-TRAGIC LOVE STORY OF FRANK AND GERARD, IF I EVER GET IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
(And by "epic emo-tragic love story" clearly I mean "retarded shenanigans".)