(no subject)
So somehow I convinced myself (it was totally easy! I'm totally easy!) that I wanted a Gerard Dresses in Drag fic so very bad. Not one of those deep, meaningful fics where it's a Life Choice or something he feels like he has to do in order to be himself or whatever. (Although those are awesome and amazing when done well, I just don't have what it takes to actually write that sort of fic and not delve into pre-teen/teen melodrama. you know what I mean, right? Like there would be crying and 'no one understands me!' and 'my life is so hard!' and just...it would be bad, okay? Painful and bad and not in the good way.) I just want a fic where Gerard loses a bet and has to dress in drag for, I don't know, a week or something. And he kind of hates it, but he's totally going to fulfill his end of the bet even if it kills him! And then meets Frank or Frank sees him in drag (CANON) and at first there's confusion and then there's not (but no angst! no breaking of hearts!) and then sexy shenanigans ensue. I don't know. Cross-dressing didn't use to be a thing of mine, but somehow now it is. *handwaves*
And then, this is the important part, and then I started writing little scenes and whatnot that I would Pay Actual Money To See and then...well. And then this happened? I don't know, it totally cracked me up when I was writing it at any rate, and that's the (second!) most important part! Gerard's off at Art School in this, I guess? (I don't know, I just wanted him to be dressed in drag. It's more an AU in that I don't know what's going on beside Gerard having to dress in drag. It's a sickness. Also, everything about art school I learned from fandom. And bad movies. :D)
When he made the bet Gerard had thought he was sure to win, but then he didn't. Which totally sucked, but whatever, right? It's not like he sold his soul or anything, he just has to dress in drag for a day because he lost and Tina from school won and he's been taught that welshing on a bet it shitty thing to do. Besides, it can't be that bad.
Only it is. It so is.
Tina practically skips into class the morning after he loses the bet and she smiling so hard Gerard's worried she's going to break something. But then she comes up to him and he knows it's going to be bad, so very bad, before she even opens her mouth.
“What?” He asks, edging away from her and her fucking smiling.
Tina's smile widens and Gerard's never seen so many tiny, perfect white teeth aimed at him in his entire life. “The Bet.” she says, and he can actually hear the capital letters.
“Yes,” he draws the word out longer than necessary, wondering if maybe he should have stayed home sick or something because seriously, she's freaking him the hell out with all that smiling. Tina's not a smiley person in general. She prefers scowling and glaring and, on several memorable occasions, has been moved to actual physical violence involving her foot and other people's crotches.
Thankfully, not his. (Tina claims it's only a matter of time until this is no longer true.)
“The Bet.” Tina repeats, “The Bet wherein you promised, swore to me, that you would dress in drag if you lost. Which you did.”
Gerard nods slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements. “For a day.” He adds, in case there's any sort of -
“Oh, hell no.” Tina hisses, going from cheerfully - creepily - smiling girl to angry harpy in the span of a heartbeat. “You're not pulling that shit on me.”
Gerard blinks, doesn't dare move for fear she'll actually attack. She's got sharp little nails - claws - and tiny perfect teeth and he has no weapons to defend himself with, and holy shit, does she look pissed.
“The bet was for a week, Gerard. A week of you dressing in drag.”
“Um.”
“I know where you live.” She says, eyes narrowing, and Gerard bites back anything he might have said when he realizes she does, and maybe that wasn't such a smart move on his part and oh, god, she's totally going to kill him in his sleep if he tries to weasel his way out now.
The glare on her face loses some of its ferocity and he risks taking a breath, then another when she backs off a step or two when he realizes he wasn't actually, you know, breathing.
“It won't be that bad,” she mutters, scowling up at him. “You could, hell I don't know, you could totally sucker one of the teachers into calling it an extra credit assignment or something. They're all over that pretentious 'Life Is Art' crap."
Gerard frowns, thinks that he should probably be offended on their part, on the part of art students everywhere, but she really does have a point. And hey, that's kind of a good idea anyway, like that whole killing two birds with one stone thing, only without the actual killing of birds and -
“Good.” Tina sounds...smug. Definitely victorious. “Meet me out front after classes so we can get you all dolled up.”
Gerard opens his mouth to...to something, but she's glaring again and oh, hey, wearing her steel-toed boots, and why didn't he notice earlier?
“Out front.” Tina repeats. “And it's no use running, because you can't.”
She's laughing at him now, that gleeful little smirk that he kind of loves and kind of hates in place, because he can't. For one, she knows where he lives, and for another...he's...he's an art student. Art students don't do running.
And that...that doesn't even really make sense, but it sounds cool in his head, so...
Tina snorts like she knows what he's thinking, but before he can say anything the teacher's at the front of the room clapping her hands and calling them to order in a disgustingly cheerful voice. He settles for glaring at Tina instead, hoping she won't make his life too miserable over the next week even though he knows that's exactly what she's going to do, because his life sucks that way.
==========
==========
Gerard meets Tina out front at the agreed upon time, he knows not to mess around when it come to her, and they take a bus to a little store Tina knows - 'Trust me, you'll love it' - and he ends up trailing after her the entire time. She flits from rack to rack of dresses and skirts and flowery, ruffly blouses picking through them with a frightening sort of focus.
“I know you,” she tells him when she catches him frowning. “And I know you're going to want to 'do this right', so I'm going to find you some awesome clothes and you're going to shut up and like it.”
She doesn't add the 'or else', but they both know it's there, and Gerard's smart enough to know when to keep his mouth shut.
Except for -
"No." He says firmly when they reach the back of the store, stomach churning. He has to draw the line somewhere and Gerard is so not going to wear - "There is no way in hell you're going to get me to wear that. Just...no.”
Tina frowns at him, like she has no idea what he's talking about and shakes the hanger she's holding. “Why not?”
Gerard's eyes narrow. “It's a prom dress.”
The smile she gives him is all sweetness and light and he can feel his skin crawling at the sight of it. “But you'd be the prettiest princess at the prom, Gerard. Don't you want to be the prettiest princess at the prom?”
Gerard scowls and crosses his arms, holding his ground and feeling like a petulant five year-old.
Tina rolls her eyes and puts the dress back with a sad little sigh, shaking her head and muttering about young girls these days as she starts rifling through another rack.
He ignores her after that. Now that they've gotten past the worst of the dressed and skirts and wanders over to look over the leatehr jackets until he hears a little squeal of excitement and looks up to see her staring at soemthing he can't quite see with her back to him. When heads over he hears her murmur 'Oh, this is perfect' just as he reaches her side, and cranes his neck to her holding a bundle of fabric. It's a little dusty and he realizes it must have fallen off a hanger or something, but Tina's looking at it like it's the best thing she's ever seen.
He's just thrilled it's not pastel and that there aren't any ruffles.
Gerard gives her a dubious look, but Tina hands him the ball of material and several other things into his arms and give him a Look. Which, okay, normally he could ignore it, but she also uses her Mom Voice on him, and technically? Technically she isn't even a mom, but she babysits for her neighbors and has all of the necessary mom skills down cold, so Gerard listens.
It takes him more time than he'd care to admit to figure out how the stupid black thing is supposed to go, but he's pretty sure he's managed to sort out all the straps and dangling pieces of fabric, finally gets it on. He's not sure if it's on backwards or inside out or whatver, but he does like it. It's black and has this weird layered thing, something like lace over smoother fabric that might actually be satin, but not prom dress satin, so okay. He can deal with that.
Tina insisted he wear the white shirt - blouse, whatever, - with it and he takes a moment to study his reflection in the warped mirror hanging on the changing room door. Fiddles with the skirt a little because it still doesn't look right but he can't figure out what's wrong, and messes with his hair. He even tries a few poses out, hands on his hips and other things he's seen models do on television and in magazines and makes a face at himself when he realizes what he's doing. Wonders if crying is an appropriate response to the fact that he sort likes the way he looks in a skirt and blouse, god, blouse.
Gerard decides to shelve hie mental breakdown for the moment when Tina starts knocking on the flimsy door, tempted to pretend he can't hear her knocking. Which no, he's sure people all over the state can hear her, but then she gives one good, solid kick to the bottom of the door and he sees it give. The door actually bends a little and as much as he would like to at that moment, Gerard can't hide out in the changing room forever.
"Jesus, fine, okay?" He flips the lock and cracks the door open. "Get in here before anyone sees."
She chortles at that, really, seriously chortles, and slips in through the open door and turns around to check him out and ends up staring at him.
"Fuck."
Gerard's eyes go wide, worried, like he really does have the skirt on inside out or backwards or something, but the frown on Tina's face softens out when she reaches up to brush his hair out of his eyes. "How the hell do you manage to look better in this shit than I do?"
And...oh. Oh.
Gerard puffs his chest out and examines his nails as he watches her from the corner of his eye. "Well, you know how it is. Some people have it and others don't."
Tina smiles at him, the freaky one that's all sunshine and rainbows and then, oh yeah. And then there's a steel-toed boot in his crotch and fucking hell, Mikey better be straight - or at least bi-sexual - or their parents are never going to have the grandkids they keep hinting about.
"Get changed, princess," Tina says, stepping over him on her way out of the changing room. "We've got a few places to go before we're done making you into the prettiest little girl your parents never had."
====
====
HAHAHA. I know, right? LAME. :D
And then, this is the important part, and then I started writing little scenes and whatnot that I would Pay Actual Money To See and then...well. And then this happened? I don't know, it totally cracked me up when I was writing it at any rate, and that's the (second!) most important part! Gerard's off at Art School in this, I guess? (I don't know, I just wanted him to be dressed in drag. It's more an AU in that I don't know what's going on beside Gerard having to dress in drag. It's a sickness. Also, everything about art school I learned from fandom. And bad movies. :D)
When he made the bet Gerard had thought he was sure to win, but then he didn't. Which totally sucked, but whatever, right? It's not like he sold his soul or anything, he just has to dress in drag for a day because he lost and Tina from school won and he's been taught that welshing on a bet it shitty thing to do. Besides, it can't be that bad.
Only it is. It so is.
Tina practically skips into class the morning after he loses the bet and she smiling so hard Gerard's worried she's going to break something. But then she comes up to him and he knows it's going to be bad, so very bad, before she even opens her mouth.
“What?” He asks, edging away from her and her fucking smiling.
Tina's smile widens and Gerard's never seen so many tiny, perfect white teeth aimed at him in his entire life. “The Bet.” she says, and he can actually hear the capital letters.
“Yes,” he draws the word out longer than necessary, wondering if maybe he should have stayed home sick or something because seriously, she's freaking him the hell out with all that smiling. Tina's not a smiley person in general. She prefers scowling and glaring and, on several memorable occasions, has been moved to actual physical violence involving her foot and other people's crotches.
Thankfully, not his. (Tina claims it's only a matter of time until this is no longer true.)
“The Bet.” Tina repeats, “The Bet wherein you promised, swore to me, that you would dress in drag if you lost. Which you did.”
Gerard nods slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements. “For a day.” He adds, in case there's any sort of -
“Oh, hell no.” Tina hisses, going from cheerfully - creepily - smiling girl to angry harpy in the span of a heartbeat. “You're not pulling that shit on me.”
Gerard blinks, doesn't dare move for fear she'll actually attack. She's got sharp little nails - claws - and tiny perfect teeth and he has no weapons to defend himself with, and holy shit, does she look pissed.
“The bet was for a week, Gerard. A week of you dressing in drag.”
“Um.”
“I know where you live.” She says, eyes narrowing, and Gerard bites back anything he might have said when he realizes she does, and maybe that wasn't such a smart move on his part and oh, god, she's totally going to kill him in his sleep if he tries to weasel his way out now.
The glare on her face loses some of its ferocity and he risks taking a breath, then another when she backs off a step or two when he realizes he wasn't actually, you know, breathing.
“It won't be that bad,” she mutters, scowling up at him. “You could, hell I don't know, you could totally sucker one of the teachers into calling it an extra credit assignment or something. They're all over that pretentious 'Life Is Art' crap."
Gerard frowns, thinks that he should probably be offended on their part, on the part of art students everywhere, but she really does have a point. And hey, that's kind of a good idea anyway, like that whole killing two birds with one stone thing, only without the actual killing of birds and -
“Good.” Tina sounds...smug. Definitely victorious. “Meet me out front after classes so we can get you all dolled up.”
Gerard opens his mouth to...to something, but she's glaring again and oh, hey, wearing her steel-toed boots, and why didn't he notice earlier?
“Out front.” Tina repeats. “And it's no use running, because you can't.”
She's laughing at him now, that gleeful little smirk that he kind of loves and kind of hates in place, because he can't. For one, she knows where he lives, and for another...he's...he's an art student. Art students don't do running.
And that...that doesn't even really make sense, but it sounds cool in his head, so...
Tina snorts like she knows what he's thinking, but before he can say anything the teacher's at the front of the room clapping her hands and calling them to order in a disgustingly cheerful voice. He settles for glaring at Tina instead, hoping she won't make his life too miserable over the next week even though he knows that's exactly what she's going to do, because his life sucks that way.
==========
==========
Gerard meets Tina out front at the agreed upon time, he knows not to mess around when it come to her, and they take a bus to a little store Tina knows - 'Trust me, you'll love it' - and he ends up trailing after her the entire time. She flits from rack to rack of dresses and skirts and flowery, ruffly blouses picking through them with a frightening sort of focus.
“I know you,” she tells him when she catches him frowning. “And I know you're going to want to 'do this right', so I'm going to find you some awesome clothes and you're going to shut up and like it.”
She doesn't add the 'or else', but they both know it's there, and Gerard's smart enough to know when to keep his mouth shut.
Except for -
"No." He says firmly when they reach the back of the store, stomach churning. He has to draw the line somewhere and Gerard is so not going to wear - "There is no way in hell you're going to get me to wear that. Just...no.”
Tina frowns at him, like she has no idea what he's talking about and shakes the hanger she's holding. “Why not?”
Gerard's eyes narrow. “It's a prom dress.”
The smile she gives him is all sweetness and light and he can feel his skin crawling at the sight of it. “But you'd be the prettiest princess at the prom, Gerard. Don't you want to be the prettiest princess at the prom?”
Gerard scowls and crosses his arms, holding his ground and feeling like a petulant five year-old.
Tina rolls her eyes and puts the dress back with a sad little sigh, shaking her head and muttering about young girls these days as she starts rifling through another rack.
He ignores her after that. Now that they've gotten past the worst of the dressed and skirts and wanders over to look over the leatehr jackets until he hears a little squeal of excitement and looks up to see her staring at soemthing he can't quite see with her back to him. When heads over he hears her murmur 'Oh, this is perfect' just as he reaches her side, and cranes his neck to her holding a bundle of fabric. It's a little dusty and he realizes it must have fallen off a hanger or something, but Tina's looking at it like it's the best thing she's ever seen.
He's just thrilled it's not pastel and that there aren't any ruffles.
Gerard gives her a dubious look, but Tina hands him the ball of material and several other things into his arms and give him a Look. Which, okay, normally he could ignore it, but she also uses her Mom Voice on him, and technically? Technically she isn't even a mom, but she babysits for her neighbors and has all of the necessary mom skills down cold, so Gerard listens.
It takes him more time than he'd care to admit to figure out how the stupid black thing is supposed to go, but he's pretty sure he's managed to sort out all the straps and dangling pieces of fabric, finally gets it on. He's not sure if it's on backwards or inside out or whatver, but he does like it. It's black and has this weird layered thing, something like lace over smoother fabric that might actually be satin, but not prom dress satin, so okay. He can deal with that.
Tina insisted he wear the white shirt - blouse, whatever, - with it and he takes a moment to study his reflection in the warped mirror hanging on the changing room door. Fiddles with the skirt a little because it still doesn't look right but he can't figure out what's wrong, and messes with his hair. He even tries a few poses out, hands on his hips and other things he's seen models do on television and in magazines and makes a face at himself when he realizes what he's doing. Wonders if crying is an appropriate response to the fact that he sort likes the way he looks in a skirt and blouse, god, blouse.
Gerard decides to shelve hie mental breakdown for the moment when Tina starts knocking on the flimsy door, tempted to pretend he can't hear her knocking. Which no, he's sure people all over the state can hear her, but then she gives one good, solid kick to the bottom of the door and he sees it give. The door actually bends a little and as much as he would like to at that moment, Gerard can't hide out in the changing room forever.
"Jesus, fine, okay?" He flips the lock and cracks the door open. "Get in here before anyone sees."
She chortles at that, really, seriously chortles, and slips in through the open door and turns around to check him out and ends up staring at him.
"Fuck."
Gerard's eyes go wide, worried, like he really does have the skirt on inside out or backwards or something, but the frown on Tina's face softens out when she reaches up to brush his hair out of his eyes. "How the hell do you manage to look better in this shit than I do?"
And...oh. Oh.
Gerard puffs his chest out and examines his nails as he watches her from the corner of his eye. "Well, you know how it is. Some people have it and others don't."
Tina smiles at him, the freaky one that's all sunshine and rainbows and then, oh yeah. And then there's a steel-toed boot in his crotch and fucking hell, Mikey better be straight - or at least bi-sexual - or their parents are never going to have the grandkids they keep hinting about.
"Get changed, princess," Tina says, stepping over him on her way out of the changing room. "We've got a few places to go before we're done making you into the prettiest little girl your parents never had."
====
====
HAHAHA. I know, right? LAME. :D