I have violence in my heart and destruction on my mind. This is not like me at all... the punishment does not fit the crime, but why do I instantly think of overpowering my sources of frustration through implausible means of prowess and fear? Why do I feel like lashing out at anyone and anything? This is not me, this is a hateful manifestation ( Read more... )

It hurts to think of you. I can't even say I want to see you, because I don't. I can't be near you or my heart crumbles and I can barely breathe. You are not "you"; you are "it" and "that one". I cannot puzzle out why this is suddenly the case, but I have a nagging suspicion that this was a long time in coming. I am quite good at repressing ( Read more... )

I want to be important too ( Read more... )

This is what I sent, word-for-word, to LJ's "suggestions" in-box ( Read more... )

My dreams need to stop tripping on acid. Gosh. The Tokyo skyline is not a bunch of buildings turned into demented, lurid monstrosities like something out of a young child's nightmare. Nor is it set against an equally vivid and sickening skyline. It also has nothing to do with being in a Western (unless Sukiyaki Western Daijango is mentioned ( Read more... )

I've been having decent sleep, which also means a lot of (seemingly) long, story-like dreams. Most of them are pleasant, some of them are strange, and just today I had one that was so terrifying and upsetting that if I don't recount it, it will stay in my mind and fester. So, I will tell it as well as I can remember it:

I am in an unfamiliar ( Read more... )

I've had some strange thoughts lately. Some awful ones as well. I need to sort them out a little bit ( Read more... )

I don't like Facebook because I feel lonely every time I log on. Social networking makes me feel clumsy and unlikeable ( Read more... )

Okay very drunk right now. Please bear with me. Also, thank FireFox and my own worthless pride as a "writer" that this is as coherent as it is ( Read more... )

Maybe I don't know what the word "friendship" means. Maybe I do but we don't agree on the definition ( Read more... )