[NVC Day 18] -- [Silence Amidst the Chaos] -- [Kirk/Bones]

[kirktastic]

The parts that came first, those were no problem. He had told the story before, complete and whole, during the single interview he had granted after the Narada incident. A hunk of that, a little more than half, had gone to purchasing the house on Risa. It would have been a better place to be, and Jim tried to keep the calm and peace of it in his

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[dctr_mccoy]

Bones had left the courthouse, like he told Jim he would.

Then later, he came back.

Back through the rear entrance, still in his civilian clothing so no one would bother him. He'd hoped the testimony would be done around lunchtime. A vain hope, he knew, but one he clung to.

Two hours turned into three, then four, then more. Bones sat on a bench at the end of a hallway, staring at the floor. He hasn't in the room with Jim, but he was reliving it all himself - the day Vulcan was destroyed and their lives changed, when he thought he'd lost Jim to Delta Vega, and worse. Then the kidnapping, the dream of him, finding him, working on his broken body. Things about that time that Jim himself would never know, how stupid Bones was, how ruined he was by Jim's absence.

Footsteps in the hall broke his concentration, and he looked up, seeing a familiar form heading toward him.

[kirktastic]

Maybe people would have thought him a fool for questioning their relationship, however strange, at all. This, this raw little bit of something defined in ways Jim couldn't fully grasp, was something he wanted to protect even if it was from his own idiocy. While some things could slide by them without them needing to talk about it, coming to an understanding in their silent way, some things... couldn't.

The chime for food made his stomach twist, and Jim just closed his eyes. Shit, the last thing he wanted to do was eat. Tell me what I can do to make you believe that. It sounded vaguely like something he had said in the past to Bones, when Bones had doubted the idea of them as well.

Spend my life with you. He thought of Nyota and Spock, bonded or not, and the life they would eventually live completely separate from himself and Bones and the Enterprise. Bonds didn't mean forever. That took something more.

[dctr_mccoy]

He waited a moment longer, waited to see if Jim had anything to say, but when the chime rang a second time, he stood and walked to the door. Taking the food and setting it on the table, Bones walked back over to the bed.

"You wanna go for a walk on the beach or something?" he asked, sitting down next to Jim. "We could go sit in the water?" he ran his fingers through Jim's hair.

[kirktastic]

Jim was grateful that Bones didn't mention the food just yet. "Yea. I'd like that." He gave a small smile and stood up from the bed, shucking off the remains of his uniform and grabbing the pair of swim trunks hung over the back of a chair nearby. He pulled them on, watching Bones doing much the same, before reaching up and grasping Bones' hand in his own. He laced their fingers together, giving a small tug towards the deck doors.

[dctr_mccoy]

Grabbing the bottle by the neck, Bones took it out with them. Sometimes it made these kind of talks a little easier. The sand was warm under their bare feet, reminding him of another beach, another time, and after taking a long drink from the bottle, Bones offered it to Jim.

They didn't walk out too far when Bones began talking. Or rather, asking. "When did you decide to buy the house?" he asked after a long moment, looking over at Jim, and tilting his head slightly to keep the sun out of his eyes.

[kirktastic]

The topic was surprising. Jim wrapped his fingers around the bottle but didn't immediately drink from it. "...Dunno, exactly. Just woke up one day... and realized that it felt right. That... I wanted some place I could always go back to. Hell, even if we can't go back until we're retired, I don't give a damn. I just wanted... somewhere."

He looked down at the sand. "Somewhere with you." It was titled in both of their names, official once Bones had signed it in his less than neat doctory hand writing.

[dctr_mccoy]

They kept walking, the beach nearly deserted. Strange, for this time of day but Bones was grateful for the privacy. "Meant a lot to me, Jim." Bones nudged the other man with his shoulder. "Said something, you know? 'Bout us, you and me." It was like an outward symbol, even if no one else knew about it. It said long-term. Stability. Commitment, maybe the only one they'd ever legally make, but fuck, it was a big one to him. And it had been Jim's idea. "Hell, I don't know, Jim. I know we should talk more, but - I guess I feel like in the end, none of the words matter, 'cause I know in the long run, nothing is gonna get between us."

He stopped in front of Jim, turning to look at him. "Am I being naive or something, for thinking that way?"

[kirktastic]

Jim blinked, looking up at Bones. The whole statement was a surprise, the bluntness of it. His lips parted, trying to find words to say. Slowly he just... smiled. "Not naive." It was strange to say, to just spill something out, at least on this topic. "S'all true. Guess talking just... smooths out the road from here until forever."

[dctr_mccoy]

Bones just gruffed. "Talking just seems to get us mad at each other." He laughed a little as they began walking again. "Hate it when you're mad at me."

[kirktastic]

"I hate it when you're mad at me, but hey, the makeup sex is always good," Jim joked, a grin turning out from his smile.

He looked up to the sky, finally taking another drink. "...I... I see doing this for a long time, Bones. Being Captain, being on the Enterprise. Finding new worlds, new adventures."

"I don't doubt... eventually Spock'll leave, with Nyota... Sulu and Chekov will want to have bigger and better things... but I don't know how long. How long I've got something as amazing as this ship, this crew..."

He closed his eyes. "Nice to know at least one thing I know I'll have."

[dctr_mccoy]

Bones chuckled low. The make-up sex was fucking fantastic.

His hands fell to Jim's shoulders and he stepped close and kissed him, the lingering taste of the bourbon on Jim's lips. The minute he chose Jim over a cushy job at a research base Bones had known it would be like this. Jim in his captain's chair, discovering new life and new civilizations until he literally couldn't do it anymore (which was the better of the two possible futures, the other he didn't think about at all). And Bones had known he would follow him across the galaxy, either as his friend, or thankfully now, as something more.

"Let's get through this first five-years before you get all maudlin on me, okay?" he grinned into Jim's temple. He understood what Jim was talking about, though. He'd be losing Tina soon, and the idea bothered him tremendously.

[kirktastic]

"I'll do my damnedest not to." Jim pressed their heads together, smiling just a little. He slid his arms around Bones' body, every bit of him grateful for having this man in his life. "Right now, we just need to figure out all that's going on. Just... get this as right as we can make it. Find out what happened, and happens."

[dctr_mccoy]

Bones hugged him back, tighter than he needed to, but it felt good, when they could be like this, comfortable and relaxed. Especially after the shitfest that was today. "I'm the grumpy one, okay? You let me be grumpy. You're the pretty one."

And the smart one, too. Jim would find out what he needed to. "If the Healer says it can be broken, should we do it?"

[kirktastic]

"Trying to figure out if I was just insulted or not," Jim teased. This felt better, anything than talking about the trial.

"...In... in the court room...." Dammit, so much for that. Jim nudged Bones, letting him take the bottle back. They started walking, slow, side by side. "I almost didn't make it. I just got lost. Kept seeing all that shit that happened. Thought my hand was on fire."

[dctr_mccoy]

Fuck. "It better now?" Bones asked, looking concerned. He stopped them, turning back to Jim. "What happened in there?" Jim wouldn't just admit to almost losing it unless it was pretty bad.

[kirktastic]

"Yea, it's better." Said hand flexed once, still stiff and aching but miles better. "I just.. stopped, I guess. Something snapped me out of it, though." It was hard to admit, like admitting a weakness. Like admitting he was more wounded than he thought himself.

"...Felt like Spock was there, suddenly. Like right there."