Ahm, the part where it says: "Suddenly Mukuro reached over and wary eyes flicked immediately to the Mist Guardian..." sounds a little ambiguous as to who you're referring to. Since you started from Hibari's perspective, but then suddenly it goes to Mukuro, yet it's still Hibari? Maybe say "...and his wary eyes flicked immediately to the Mist Guardian..." Otherwise it seems as if the wary eyes belong to Mukuro? ^_^"
Hmm, it wasn't on purpose. I just thought it would be ironic.
What was confusing about it...? o.O;
I did think about that... but... why would Mukuro be looking at himself... xP I don't know why I bother thinking about it, but I didn't want to stick a his in there. I'M SO WEIRD. |||OTL .... let me find a better way to word it I guess....
Ah, well...it's because the subject of that paragraph is Hibari's POV. So it follows that people will assume whatever 'his' refers to is Hibari (except, obviously, once you use more than one 'his'/'he' etc. to refer to both and...argh, it gets complicated). Even if you say "Mukuro leaned over...", "his eyes" will still refer to Hibari. At least that's what I think... ^_^"
LOL, I've been RP-ing as Mukuro there, with this comm, and my friend RP-ing as Hibari. We made many 6918 moments. XD
From Hibari ridiculed Mukuro and made him pissed off, and then Hibari got drunk and came to Kokuyo to talk about that matter, Mukuro got amnesia because a bowling ball was thrown right at back of his head, they had a date, Mukuro attempted to erase both of their memories (love), a cupid bazooka event that made Hibari fell in love with Tsuna and Mukuro became emo, Mukuro got his by a truck, Mukuro made an illusion of him and visited Hibari at his house and got killed right after, they met again in Namimori Hills, and being lovey dovey till now. They even planned to go to Italy soon. Ahaha, so fun~! XD
OwO LOL so much at that. Amnesia was something I was going to write about one day, maybe I won't now. >.>; xD The erasing thing sounds interesting.... OwO...
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Meh, I was going to write non-fanfic with that prompt anyway~
I-I got confused when reading your 8059... OTL /re-reading...
Fluff Muku and Hiba for the win! =D <3
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Ahm, the part where it says: "Suddenly Mukuro reached over and wary eyes flicked immediately to the Mist Guardian..." sounds a little ambiguous as to who you're referring to. Since you started from Hibari's perspective, but then suddenly it goes to Mukuro, yet it's still Hibari? Maybe say "...and his wary eyes flicked immediately to the Mist Guardian..." Otherwise it seems as if the wary eyes belong to Mukuro? ^_^"
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What was confusing about it...? o.O;
I did think about that... but... why would Mukuro be looking at himself... xP
I don't know why I bother thinking about it, but I didn't want to stick a his in there. I'M SO WEIRD. |||OTL .... let me find a better way to word it I guess....
Reply
Ah, well...it's because the subject of that paragraph is Hibari's POV. So it follows that people will assume whatever 'his' refers to is Hibari (except, obviously, once you use more than one 'his'/'he' etc. to refer to both and...argh, it gets complicated). Even if you say "Mukuro leaned over...", "his eyes" will still refer to Hibari. At least that's what I think... ^_^"
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Reminds me of Plurk, though. XD;;
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Ahaha, but yeah, need more fluff stuff. xP
Oh, well I've never been on there, so... ;A;
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LOL, I've been RP-ing as Mukuro there, with this comm, and my friend RP-ing as Hibari. We made many 6918 moments. XD
From Hibari ridiculed Mukuro and made him pissed off, and then Hibari got drunk and came to Kokuyo to talk about that matter, Mukuro got amnesia because a bowling ball was thrown right at back of his head, they had a date, Mukuro attempted to erase both of their memories (love), a cupid bazooka event that made Hibari fell in love with Tsuna and Mukuro became emo, Mukuro got his by a truck, Mukuro made an illusion of him and visited Hibari at his house and got killed right after, they met again in Namimori Hills, and being lovey dovey till now. They even planned to go to Italy soon. Ahaha, so fun~! XD
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Fluff is fun ~ ^_^; You flatter me. oAo
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