SGU fic - Still Life - for challenge 59 - Stationary
Title: Still Life
Author: kimmy4eytj
Rating: PG
Spoilers: through S2 to “Gauntlet”
Characters: Everett Young POV, Tamara Johansen
Word Count: 1139
Summary: Moments of life that affected Everett Young profoundly.
Author's Notes: Written for sgu_challenge prompt #059 "Stationary".
Disclaimer: SG Universe is owned by MGM, not me, darn it. Since they denied us the pleasure of these characters' company, I'm using them entirely without profit for my own playtime. Comments to my LJ if you wish.
[][][]
Dawn, sunlight crept into the room through the window curtains, birds chirped sounding out a new day, and still, he sat motionless at the kitchen table. His thoughts floated, unfocused. Days ago, their anticipation had been euphoric, and they had made plans about what to do. Plans that, now, would never be.
After work, he had stopped at a florist for a bouquet of her favorite yellow roses. A small gratitude for her gift to him. He vaguely recalled dropping them to the floor and swiftly crossing the room to her, knowing immediately, something was terribly wrong. It took her long, wailing moments to tell him. He held her, her runny nose and mascara smeared against his shirt, her tears soaking it.
He remembered putting Emily to bed, still distraught, her eyes red and puffy, overflowing with tears. He held her until she fell asleep, and even then, waited until her restless movements ceased before leaving their bed. He made his way through their silent home, picking up the roses, and the Kleenex where Emily had dropped them. He went outside, the night sounds distant to his hearing, and put the roses into the trash can.
He stared up at the clear, night sky, and questioned at the unfairness of the universe to deny his lovely wife a chance to be a mother to his children. He wondered what their shared destiny would become.
[][][]
Searing heat as he ran, sharp pain at the back of his head, then blown off his feet to fly through the air. Deep, wet cold, chilling a frost to his face and hands, tumbling, rolling, over and over, to stop half on his back, dazed. Incoherent noise and screams, blurred vision and acute pain to his chest making him gasp short breaths. Scott was there. He slurred the words giving Scott command before succumbing to the rushing blackness.
Pain; it throbbed throughout his body, beating at him to waken, caressing him like a lover exploring, it wanted to fully embrace him. Pain spoke telling him that he was alive. Pain told him he was badly injured. It also told him that he was in trouble. It wouldn't let him move.
He knew he was awake. He felt his eyes moving underneath his lids but they refused to rise. He could tell that he was lying on a bed, covered with a sheet. He didn't recognize any smells surrounding him. They were musty, ancient in the same way mummies were.
He sensed movement nearby, but still couldn't shift any part of his body. He felt the bed depress under someone's weight and a hand touched his forehead. TJ! She's here; I can smell her scent. That's her caring hand on me. An eyelid was lifted, but he saw nothing, only blackness. Why can't I see? I can feel but can't move or see? What happened to me? TJ's fingertips moved to his cheek, a fleeting caress along his jawline to check his pulse. Panic, faster heart rate. Her hand slid down his chest, testing his respiration. Short, sharp gasps, pain. Ah! It hurts.
TJ lowered the sheet, lifting his undershirt and placed her soft warm hand along the outline of his ribs, depressing carefully. There! It's there, where it hurts to breath. She lingered, her hand rested there a considerable span. It's alright; she knows. Just relax. His breathing slowed as he calmed. He was tired and if he could move he imagined his eyes closing. Just knowing TJ was with him eased his mind and so he drifted into the blackness.
[][][]
“I'm pregnant.”
Two words. Two little, no, huge words and my world shifts.
I stare at her, unmoving, stunned. I know that it's mine. I never thought I would get this chance again, not after Emily ….
Not that this doesn't complicate matters even further.
Here? This ship, how …? How is this going to work?
She's scared. I'm scared. Say something! You're scaring her.
Take a breath. Calm. You're going to be a father. We'll make this work.
“You're pregnant.”
[][][]
It's too much. Even for me. I can't do this anymore.
Just lie here, don't move.
No decisions, no fighting with Rush or Camille. No yelling. Quiet. Nothingness. You'll be ...nowhere.
I never wanted this. I didn't ask for this. Why...?
Destiny … I don't want this to be my destiny.
No one to be responsible for. P2S-569 and Sanchez. Icarus, the fire suppression team, burning. Gorman, Spencer, Franklin.
I didn't want to do it. Kill, not anymore. Too much blood. Too much anger. I failed and more people died because I hesitated. Rivers.
Carmen. I'm sorry, TJ. I couldn't keep you safe. I killed our Carmen.
Reilly. Such a desperate plea. His eyes beseeching me. I couldn't let him down again. So I did what he asked. I killed him, suffocated with my own hands. And I failed myself again.
What? Go away! Stop banging on my door. Can't you see I don't want to anymore.
Don't make me move. It's safe here...
[][][]
“OK, listen. Nobody blames you. It is what it is. We're here, and we have our whole lives ahead. Make the most of it.”
She drops my hand and I dip my head to watch it fall away to my side.
Will this be the sum total of my life, missing important moments, not moving ahead, to just remain static.
This is a turning point, Everett. You saw it in her face, imploring you to react to accept her offer. There is no more Earth to rule your actions, there is only here and now. Novus. Accept it.
“That easy, huh?” I jokingly reply with a half smile. I look back up at her. She drops her eyes, nervous.
“No,” and lifts her eyes to me, determined, scrunching her face in an emphatic reply. “But beating yourself up every day just makes it worse.”
We stare at each other intently. My smile fades as I react to her tension. Her lips purse and I see her swallow hard. The air seems to sizzle between us. Her eyes questioning, asking me to fulfill our lives. It's too intense for her and she dips her head again.
This is my future, my destiny. Not on Destiny but here, now, with TJ. Decision made, I start toward her. She hears me and raises her head, uncertain.
I watch her eyes as she realizes I'm not leaving; I'm going toward her. I look at her slightly parted lips and hesitate just before reaching her, tilting my head to the right. TJ raises her hand to my cheek, her fingertips caressing, pulling me into our gentle kiss. A soft, tender kiss filled with promise.
I accept my new destiny.
Author: kimmy4eytj
Rating: PG
Spoilers: through S2 to “Gauntlet”
Characters: Everett Young POV, Tamara Johansen
Word Count: 1139
Summary: Moments of life that affected Everett Young profoundly.
Author's Notes: Written for sgu_challenge prompt #059 "Stationary".
Disclaimer: SG Universe is owned by MGM, not me, darn it. Since they denied us the pleasure of these characters' company, I'm using them entirely without profit for my own playtime. Comments to my LJ if you wish.
[][][]
Dawn, sunlight crept into the room through the window curtains, birds chirped sounding out a new day, and still, he sat motionless at the kitchen table. His thoughts floated, unfocused. Days ago, their anticipation had been euphoric, and they had made plans about what to do. Plans that, now, would never be.
After work, he had stopped at a florist for a bouquet of her favorite yellow roses. A small gratitude for her gift to him. He vaguely recalled dropping them to the floor and swiftly crossing the room to her, knowing immediately, something was terribly wrong. It took her long, wailing moments to tell him. He held her, her runny nose and mascara smeared against his shirt, her tears soaking it.
He remembered putting Emily to bed, still distraught, her eyes red and puffy, overflowing with tears. He held her until she fell asleep, and even then, waited until her restless movements ceased before leaving their bed. He made his way through their silent home, picking up the roses, and the Kleenex where Emily had dropped them. He went outside, the night sounds distant to his hearing, and put the roses into the trash can.
He stared up at the clear, night sky, and questioned at the unfairness of the universe to deny his lovely wife a chance to be a mother to his children. He wondered what their shared destiny would become.
[][][]
Searing heat as he ran, sharp pain at the back of his head, then blown off his feet to fly through the air. Deep, wet cold, chilling a frost to his face and hands, tumbling, rolling, over and over, to stop half on his back, dazed. Incoherent noise and screams, blurred vision and acute pain to his chest making him gasp short breaths. Scott was there. He slurred the words giving Scott command before succumbing to the rushing blackness.
Pain; it throbbed throughout his body, beating at him to waken, caressing him like a lover exploring, it wanted to fully embrace him. Pain spoke telling him that he was alive. Pain told him he was badly injured. It also told him that he was in trouble. It wouldn't let him move.
He knew he was awake. He felt his eyes moving underneath his lids but they refused to rise. He could tell that he was lying on a bed, covered with a sheet. He didn't recognize any smells surrounding him. They were musty, ancient in the same way mummies were.
He sensed movement nearby, but still couldn't shift any part of his body. He felt the bed depress under someone's weight and a hand touched his forehead. TJ! She's here; I can smell her scent. That's her caring hand on me. An eyelid was lifted, but he saw nothing, only blackness. Why can't I see? I can feel but can't move or see? What happened to me? TJ's fingertips moved to his cheek, a fleeting caress along his jawline to check his pulse. Panic, faster heart rate. Her hand slid down his chest, testing his respiration. Short, sharp gasps, pain. Ah! It hurts.
TJ lowered the sheet, lifting his undershirt and placed her soft warm hand along the outline of his ribs, depressing carefully. There! It's there, where it hurts to breath. She lingered, her hand rested there a considerable span. It's alright; she knows. Just relax. His breathing slowed as he calmed. He was tired and if he could move he imagined his eyes closing. Just knowing TJ was with him eased his mind and so he drifted into the blackness.
[][][]
“I'm pregnant.”
Two words. Two little, no, huge words and my world shifts.
I stare at her, unmoving, stunned. I know that it's mine. I never thought I would get this chance again, not after Emily ….
Not that this doesn't complicate matters even further.
Here? This ship, how …? How is this going to work?
She's scared. I'm scared. Say something! You're scaring her.
Take a breath. Calm. You're going to be a father. We'll make this work.
“You're pregnant.”
[][][]
It's too much. Even for me. I can't do this anymore.
Just lie here, don't move.
No decisions, no fighting with Rush or Camille. No yelling. Quiet. Nothingness. You'll be ...nowhere.
I never wanted this. I didn't ask for this. Why...?
Destiny … I don't want this to be my destiny.
No one to be responsible for. P2S-569 and Sanchez. Icarus, the fire suppression team, burning. Gorman, Spencer, Franklin.
I didn't want to do it. Kill, not anymore. Too much blood. Too much anger. I failed and more people died because I hesitated. Rivers.
Carmen. I'm sorry, TJ. I couldn't keep you safe. I killed our Carmen.
Reilly. Such a desperate plea. His eyes beseeching me. I couldn't let him down again. So I did what he asked. I killed him, suffocated with my own hands. And I failed myself again.
What? Go away! Stop banging on my door. Can't you see I don't want to anymore.
Don't make me move. It's safe here...
[][][]
“OK, listen. Nobody blames you. It is what it is. We're here, and we have our whole lives ahead. Make the most of it.”
She drops my hand and I dip my head to watch it fall away to my side.
Will this be the sum total of my life, missing important moments, not moving ahead, to just remain static.
This is a turning point, Everett. You saw it in her face, imploring you to react to accept her offer. There is no more Earth to rule your actions, there is only here and now. Novus. Accept it.
“That easy, huh?” I jokingly reply with a half smile. I look back up at her. She drops her eyes, nervous.
“No,” and lifts her eyes to me, determined, scrunching her face in an emphatic reply. “But beating yourself up every day just makes it worse.”
We stare at each other intently. My smile fades as I react to her tension. Her lips purse and I see her swallow hard. The air seems to sizzle between us. Her eyes questioning, asking me to fulfill our lives. It's too intense for her and she dips her head again.
This is my future, my destiny. Not on Destiny but here, now, with TJ. Decision made, I start toward her. She hears me and raises her head, uncertain.
I watch her eyes as she realizes I'm not leaving; I'm going toward her. I look at her slightly parted lips and hesitate just before reaching her, tilting my head to the right. TJ raises her hand to my cheek, her fingertips caressing, pulling me into our gentle kiss. A soft, tender kiss filled with promise.
I accept my new destiny.