The Letter - J2 [part 2/?]
Title: The Letter - J2 [part 2/?]
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
~*~
Jensen sat on the couch and stared at the door that Jared had just all but flown out. What the hell? He thought to himself as he shook his head and shrugged. Whatever, Jared could freak out all he wanted and not tell him why, what did he care anyway... Yeah ok, not even he believed that. Of course he cared. He cared to damn much that was the whole problem. Ten years and he still hadn’t managed to get over Jared. He didn’t want to be madly in love with his very straight best friend, but for what ever reason he was completely unable to stop. Something he knew was costing him any chance of finding someone else who might actually love him back. Problem was, he didn’t want anyone else to love him, he just wanted Jared to love him. The one damn guy who never was gonna love him.
He scratched his hand over his eyes and sighed heavily. Pulling up off the sofa, he stretched and turned to the kitchen. If Jay was in a bad mood, for what ever reason, the least Jensen could do was make him a nice dinner. He knew food always made Jared happier, because goddamn could the man eat.
Yeah ok, so maybe it made Jensen like a wife, cooking and fussing over her man, but stuff it, if he couldn’t love Jay the way he wanted, he could at least do this for him right?
Two hours later, Jared hadn’t come home yet, it was dark and raining and Jensen’s dinner of steak and salad, with mashed potato and gravy was getting more and more past its used by date in the oven where he’d put it to keep it all warm. Well apart from the salad obviously, that was in the fridge.
He sucked down the last of his beer and frowned at the set table, wine already opened and waiting and kicked himself for being such an idiot. If you’re gonna cook a nice meal for someone, it might be a good idea to actually make sure that the someone is actually gonna come home for it.
He sighed and moved out to the lounge, his stomach rumbling, but he wasn’t really in the mood to eat anything right now. He sank into the couch and stared at the dark window.
~*~
When Jared finally came home, he was soaking wet, cold through and starving. The dogs were wet through and needed to be towelled dry and warmed up, feed and put down for the night. Jared hadn’t meant to run as far as he had, but he had been thinking to hard and hadn’t realised how long he’d been out.
He slammed the door a little loudly, and cringed thinking Jensen might already be asleep, cause the house was dark and quiet, apart from a dim light of a lamp in the lounge.
Jared startled when he walked into the lounge on his way to get a towel for the dogs out of the laundry, and saw Jensen slumped on the sofa fast asleep. He’d ordered them to stay by the front door while he went to get it. He’d pulled off his coat and trainers before hand so he didn’t drag mud through the house. He knew Jen really hated when he did that.
He couldn’t help but look at Jensen as he made his way through the room. The man really did look adorable like this, he’d admit it. He looked so innocent and calm when he slept, even if right now he was still half sitting up and half falling to the side, with his head slumped on his own shoulder. He looked shorter, all scrunched up into himself.
Jared got the dogs cleaned up and put to bed, and then went and showered and put on a pair of warm sweat pants and a jumper. Padding back into the lounge he grinned at Jensen and moving carefully, so he didn’t wake him, pushed the man gently into a lying position on the sofa and pulled the thick blanket from the back of it down and over Jensen. Tugging it in around his neck and smiling. Yeah ok, maybe there was more here than he’d been willing to admit to himself. Just not sure how much more yet, but he was now determined to work it out. He owed Jensen that much, owed himself that much. It had been over a year since he’d split with Sandy and he hadn’t even started to look for another girlfriend. Which just wasn’t like him... there had to be a reason.
Realising he was staring at Jensen he rose up and made his way to the kitchen and stopped when he flicked on the light and saw the table all set up for two, wine on the table and glasses ready. He could smell steak and pepper sauce, his favourite. He pulled open the oven and frowned. Jensen had cooked his favourite meal for them. Now Jared really felt like an ass for staying out so long. Jen hadn’t even eaten his dinner, he had been waiting for him, Jared realised, with a tight clenching feeling in his gut.
“Shit” he muttered and straightened up, looking around wondering what to do.
He frowned and then moved to stand in the door of the kitchen and lounge.
“Jen” he called, just loudly enough to wake the man up...
He chuckled as he heard Jen sputter and sit up suddenly, looking around a little confused and worried.
“Morning princess” he teased as he turned back to the kitchen.
“Come on, dinner time”
~*~
“Jay? What... When you get home?” Jensen muttered sleepily as he pulled himself up off the couch, wondering for a moment where the blanket he was now wrapped in had come from.
He wandered into the kitchen and saw Jared sitting at the table, wine poured, food set out on the table.
“Jay, where were you man, I cooked this ages ago, it’s probably gone to shit by now.” He quipped letting a little annoyance drift through his tone.
“Sorry Jen, lost track of time, didn’t realise you were making dinner” Jared replied looking appropriately guilty.
“Yeah well, just wanted to do something to make you not so damn grumpy or whatever it was you were before. What was that man, you were being really weird?”
Jensen sat down still a little annoyed and started to eat, after all he was damned hungry.
“Yeah I know Jen, sorry bout that, it was nothing really I swear, just had a moment, stupid really. Seriously, don’t worry about it yeah?” Jared replied as he started eating, a huge grin on his face when Jensen next looked up at him. Jensen couldn’t help but grin back. He never could when Jared smiled at him like that.
“Alright man, didn’t wanna have to do the deep and meaningful shit anyway” he teased with a smirk. Even if it was a lie, he was gay after all; he was secretly a fan of sappy and meaningful.
They ate in silence, both lost to their own thoughts. Jensen wondering if it was finally time to come to terms with who he was and finally admit to the people closest to him that he was not so straight as everyone believed. The thought of telling Jared he was gay though scared the ever living crap out of him. Not because he thought Jared would judge him for it, but because he was certain that Jared would be more than a little upset that he’d never told him before. Not in college when they’d first met, and not any time since. Then again, he’d never told anyone, not even his family... well apart from his Momma. And even then only because she’d come straight out and asked him about it, he wasn’t about to lie flat out to his Momma. Guess you really can’t keep anything from your Mother, he thought with a fond smile.
He just didn’t know how to talk about it with anyone, he was from Texas, and he was a Christian, a country boy, an actor in Hollywood. Being gay just didn’t fit into his life in anyway. So he had always put it to the back and ignored it, only letting it out when he’d needed to find himself some action. He was thirty two and hardly a monk after all. Then again, he wasn’t Casanova either if he was honest. In all actuality, he had only had a few different partners and none had been more than a one night thing, and none had ever known his real name. Or anything else about him for that matter, and since he’d started on Supernatural and moved in with Jared. Which by the way was one of the most stupid ideas he’d ever been talked into, having to live with the man he loved was more painful a lot of the time than he’d have imagined. He hadn’t had any hook ups of any kind, to say he was a little frustrated would have been an understatement really. He just couldn’t handle the idea of being outed like that. If he did go pick up some random guy, there was no longer any guarantee that he wouldn’t be recognised and then sold out. And the only thing scarier than Jay and his family finding out he was gay by his telling them, was them finding out from some trashy news tabloid.
“Well Jen that was great thanks” Jared said suddenly as he finished off his meal and grinned, eyeing Jensen’s plate which was half full still. He’d turned out to not be as hungry as he had thought.
“Go on then freak” Jensen laughed and pushed his plate across the table to Jared.
“Thanks dude” Jared grinned as he started to wolf down the rest of Jensen’s dinner.
“Pig” Jensen smirked fondly and shook his head while he began to clean up from dinner.
“Right I’m off to bed, night Jay” he said when he was done. He wasn’t really that tired after his nap to be honest, but he had so much on his mind that he just wanted some time on his own.
“Night” he heard Jared call to him as he headed down the hall and to his room. Something had to give and soon he thought as he sighed. He couldn’t keep this up, it wasn’t healthy for him and it sure as hell wasn’t fair on Jared. Even if it cost him their friendship, he knew Jay had a right to know, to know everything.
As he drifted off to sleep that night, he had decided that soon, really soon, he was gonna tell Jay everything... well, maybe not everything, but he was gonna tell him most of it. Come what may, he needed his best friend to know the one secret he still had from him.
Part 3
Comments are love
Jayhawks Seven tickets
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
~*~
Jensen sat on the couch and stared at the door that Jared had just all but flown out. What the hell? He thought to himself as he shook his head and shrugged. Whatever, Jared could freak out all he wanted and not tell him why, what did he care anyway... Yeah ok, not even he believed that. Of course he cared. He cared to damn much that was the whole problem. Ten years and he still hadn’t managed to get over Jared. He didn’t want to be madly in love with his very straight best friend, but for what ever reason he was completely unable to stop. Something he knew was costing him any chance of finding someone else who might actually love him back. Problem was, he didn’t want anyone else to love him, he just wanted Jared to love him. The one damn guy who never was gonna love him.
He scratched his hand over his eyes and sighed heavily. Pulling up off the sofa, he stretched and turned to the kitchen. If Jay was in a bad mood, for what ever reason, the least Jensen could do was make him a nice dinner. He knew food always made Jared happier, because goddamn could the man eat.
Yeah ok, so maybe it made Jensen like a wife, cooking and fussing over her man, but stuff it, if he couldn’t love Jay the way he wanted, he could at least do this for him right?
Two hours later, Jared hadn’t come home yet, it was dark and raining and Jensen’s dinner of steak and salad, with mashed potato and gravy was getting more and more past its used by date in the oven where he’d put it to keep it all warm. Well apart from the salad obviously, that was in the fridge.
He sucked down the last of his beer and frowned at the set table, wine already opened and waiting and kicked himself for being such an idiot. If you’re gonna cook a nice meal for someone, it might be a good idea to actually make sure that the someone is actually gonna come home for it.
He sighed and moved out to the lounge, his stomach rumbling, but he wasn’t really in the mood to eat anything right now. He sank into the couch and stared at the dark window.
~*~
When Jared finally came home, he was soaking wet, cold through and starving. The dogs were wet through and needed to be towelled dry and warmed up, feed and put down for the night. Jared hadn’t meant to run as far as he had, but he had been thinking to hard and hadn’t realised how long he’d been out.
He slammed the door a little loudly, and cringed thinking Jensen might already be asleep, cause the house was dark and quiet, apart from a dim light of a lamp in the lounge.
Jared startled when he walked into the lounge on his way to get a towel for the dogs out of the laundry, and saw Jensen slumped on the sofa fast asleep. He’d ordered them to stay by the front door while he went to get it. He’d pulled off his coat and trainers before hand so he didn’t drag mud through the house. He knew Jen really hated when he did that.
He couldn’t help but look at Jensen as he made his way through the room. The man really did look adorable like this, he’d admit it. He looked so innocent and calm when he slept, even if right now he was still half sitting up and half falling to the side, with his head slumped on his own shoulder. He looked shorter, all scrunched up into himself.
Jared got the dogs cleaned up and put to bed, and then went and showered and put on a pair of warm sweat pants and a jumper. Padding back into the lounge he grinned at Jensen and moving carefully, so he didn’t wake him, pushed the man gently into a lying position on the sofa and pulled the thick blanket from the back of it down and over Jensen. Tugging it in around his neck and smiling. Yeah ok, maybe there was more here than he’d been willing to admit to himself. Just not sure how much more yet, but he was now determined to work it out. He owed Jensen that much, owed himself that much. It had been over a year since he’d split with Sandy and he hadn’t even started to look for another girlfriend. Which just wasn’t like him... there had to be a reason.
Realising he was staring at Jensen he rose up and made his way to the kitchen and stopped when he flicked on the light and saw the table all set up for two, wine on the table and glasses ready. He could smell steak and pepper sauce, his favourite. He pulled open the oven and frowned. Jensen had cooked his favourite meal for them. Now Jared really felt like an ass for staying out so long. Jen hadn’t even eaten his dinner, he had been waiting for him, Jared realised, with a tight clenching feeling in his gut.
“Shit” he muttered and straightened up, looking around wondering what to do.
He frowned and then moved to stand in the door of the kitchen and lounge.
“Jen” he called, just loudly enough to wake the man up...
He chuckled as he heard Jen sputter and sit up suddenly, looking around a little confused and worried.
“Morning princess” he teased as he turned back to the kitchen.
“Come on, dinner time”
~*~
“Jay? What... When you get home?” Jensen muttered sleepily as he pulled himself up off the couch, wondering for a moment where the blanket he was now wrapped in had come from.
He wandered into the kitchen and saw Jared sitting at the table, wine poured, food set out on the table.
“Jay, where were you man, I cooked this ages ago, it’s probably gone to shit by now.” He quipped letting a little annoyance drift through his tone.
“Sorry Jen, lost track of time, didn’t realise you were making dinner” Jared replied looking appropriately guilty.
“Yeah well, just wanted to do something to make you not so damn grumpy or whatever it was you were before. What was that man, you were being really weird?”
Jensen sat down still a little annoyed and started to eat, after all he was damned hungry.
“Yeah I know Jen, sorry bout that, it was nothing really I swear, just had a moment, stupid really. Seriously, don’t worry about it yeah?” Jared replied as he started eating, a huge grin on his face when Jensen next looked up at him. Jensen couldn’t help but grin back. He never could when Jared smiled at him like that.
“Alright man, didn’t wanna have to do the deep and meaningful shit anyway” he teased with a smirk. Even if it was a lie, he was gay after all; he was secretly a fan of sappy and meaningful.
They ate in silence, both lost to their own thoughts. Jensen wondering if it was finally time to come to terms with who he was and finally admit to the people closest to him that he was not so straight as everyone believed. The thought of telling Jared he was gay though scared the ever living crap out of him. Not because he thought Jared would judge him for it, but because he was certain that Jared would be more than a little upset that he’d never told him before. Not in college when they’d first met, and not any time since. Then again, he’d never told anyone, not even his family... well apart from his Momma. And even then only because she’d come straight out and asked him about it, he wasn’t about to lie flat out to his Momma. Guess you really can’t keep anything from your Mother, he thought with a fond smile.
He just didn’t know how to talk about it with anyone, he was from Texas, and he was a Christian, a country boy, an actor in Hollywood. Being gay just didn’t fit into his life in anyway. So he had always put it to the back and ignored it, only letting it out when he’d needed to find himself some action. He was thirty two and hardly a monk after all. Then again, he wasn’t Casanova either if he was honest. In all actuality, he had only had a few different partners and none had been more than a one night thing, and none had ever known his real name. Or anything else about him for that matter, and since he’d started on Supernatural and moved in with Jared. Which by the way was one of the most stupid ideas he’d ever been talked into, having to live with the man he loved was more painful a lot of the time than he’d have imagined. He hadn’t had any hook ups of any kind, to say he was a little frustrated would have been an understatement really. He just couldn’t handle the idea of being outed like that. If he did go pick up some random guy, there was no longer any guarantee that he wouldn’t be recognised and then sold out. And the only thing scarier than Jay and his family finding out he was gay by his telling them, was them finding out from some trashy news tabloid.
“Well Jen that was great thanks” Jared said suddenly as he finished off his meal and grinned, eyeing Jensen’s plate which was half full still. He’d turned out to not be as hungry as he had thought.
“Go on then freak” Jensen laughed and pushed his plate across the table to Jared.
“Thanks dude” Jared grinned as he started to wolf down the rest of Jensen’s dinner.
“Pig” Jensen smirked fondly and shook his head while he began to clean up from dinner.
“Right I’m off to bed, night Jay” he said when he was done. He wasn’t really that tired after his nap to be honest, but he had so much on his mind that he just wanted some time on his own.
“Night” he heard Jared call to him as he headed down the hall and to his room. Something had to give and soon he thought as he sighed. He couldn’t keep this up, it wasn’t healthy for him and it sure as hell wasn’t fair on Jared. Even if it cost him their friendship, he knew Jay had a right to know, to know everything.
As he drifted off to sleep that night, he had decided that soon, really soon, he was gonna tell Jay everything... well, maybe not everything, but he was gonna tell him most of it. Come what may, he needed his best friend to know the one secret he still had from him.
Part 3
Comments are love
Jayhawks Seven tickets