I'm a huge failure. I'm supposed to be applying to school soon. It won't happen. I'm useless to everyone and everything. Lately no one seems to care about my struggles. That would mean they'd have to notice me. I blend in with the walls. Everyone looks right through me. And they walk all over me. I can't have a feeling or an opinion in my own house ( Read more... )

I hate two of the kids in my acting class. Adrian is a complete moron. And a distraction. And a waste of my teacher's time. And a complete vaccuum; he sucks, really sucks. And Melissa is just as irritating. She tries to shower herself with spotlight. The scene has to progress the way she wants it to. If it doesn't, she tries to steer it the way she ( Read more... )

I said goodbye to my dog today. My poor old puppy Skip. I was with him all day, and I just want more time with him. He lived 14 months longer than his diagnosis said he would and I'm happy he did. He was the best dog ever. He didn't do any tricks, he was always underfoot; it was his favourite place to be I think. He was the cutest part of the ( Read more... )

I'm in a play! I'm in a play! I'm in a fucking play! t's a rather small role but I don't care. I play the young collector whom is unsuccessfully seduced by the lecherous, crazy Blanche DuBois. It's not much, but it's something!

I just started a performing arts program. And I fucking love it! Today was the first day and we were lucky enough to be able to work on the stage and simply being on that stage broughtback so many happy memories from when I was very active in theatre. I felt like I was at home with all those bright, blinding lights glaring down on me. Performing on ( Read more... )

I signed up for a performing arts program. I've had it with talking about how I want to be an actor; now it's time to fucking do something about it. I've been looking in the paper every day for auditions and I've put myself on the mailing list of three different theatre companies to inform me of auditions. I feel kind of proud. I've only worked one ( Read more... )

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. You'd think that after working a 13 hour shift sleep would come swiftly. It doesn't. My feet are tremendously sore. My head is tired. I worked two (2) events today: a buffet for 32 people and then a cocktail party for 40. I went in at 12:30 pm and got out at 1:30 am. I drove home so damned fast so I didn't fall ( Read more... )

This golf season is nearly finished. The shortest shift I've worked in two weeks was 10 hours. I'm getting one day off a week and man oh man is it really dragging by. I sleep, I work, I sleep, I work. Lather, rinse, repeat. Every once in awhile I can shake up the routine a bit by hanging out with a few friends for a few hours on my few days off ( Read more... )

I feel so fucking betrayed. Madeleine packed up her shit and moved to London without even mentioning anything to me. She still has my tattoo sketch. I really want that tattoo and now she's in fucking London. I think I'm allowed to be pissed off at the fact that one of my closest friends took off without a word. Like a slap in the fucking face it is ( Read more... )

I'm not very happy with the golf club. I needed this weekend off so they schedule me to close and work a wedding. Then they tell me that I'm goging to be the one writing the club newsletter. Somebody from the golf department should deal with that, not some random server. Apparently I'm going to work almost all of September without a day off because ( Read more... )