Well, the voices in my head may not be real...but they often have some really good ideas!

I'm really sick and tired of watching the nightly news where they begin every program with "Good Evening" - then spend the next half hour telling you how it isn't!!!

At 59 years of age, I have come to realize that I will probably never really grow up.

But - I do believe that in my 59 years, I have learned how to act in public!

(Somewhat!)

 A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first.  Den I come.
  Den two asses come together.
  I come once-a-more!
  Two asses, they come together again.
  I ( Read more... )

Since my girlfriend and I seem to have this open and honest relationship - I decided to ask her a question that I'd been wanting to ask for a while.

So I asked her, "Honey, how many men have you slept with?"

She proudly replied, "Only you sweetheart, with all the others I was awake!"

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage  suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails',  ' ( Read more... )

Letter from the Management
Dear Employee:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.

Therefore, a program to phase out older ( Read more... )

Well - we bought the rest of the stuff we needed for planting.  At least we thought we did.  It rained cats and dogs late Saturday and into late morning Sunday.  So, around noon we hauled ass outside to get as much done as possible before the next rain storm rolled through ( Read more... )

Am I the only one, that as time goes along  seems to be appreciating the simpler things in life more and more ( Read more... )

Two 90-year-old men, Rich and Bob had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Rich was dying, Bob visited him every day.

One day Bob said, 'Rich, we both loved playing men’s softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor:  when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's men's ( Read more... )