Don't Stop Believing 4.9/?

[kianspo]

Title: Don't Stop Believing 4.9/?
Beta: secret_chord25  <333
Pairings/Characters: Kirk/Spock pre-slash, ensemble
Rating: R (ish)
Warnings: some not very descriptive violence
Notes: For detailed story summary/navigation/word count, please visit the Master Post.
The references Spock makes might be traced to Chasing the Sunrise.
End of Part IV.

4.8

Comments

[jaylee_g]

*takes a shaky breath* Oh, W-O-W (which really doesn't begin to cover it). I'm sort of speechless presently, caught somewhere amid euphoria over what I just read, profound admiration of your immense talent, reverence over the power of my emotional reaction to this chapter, and gratitude towards you for leading me through one hell of a journey. Eloquence isn't exactly my strong suit when I'm this dazed and amazed, so you'll have to excuse my rambling (and the following immense understatement) but: wow.

This chapter was satisfying on a number of levels that I can't even begin to articulate. But in an attempt to try, let me just say that the emotional impact of this chapter was certainly felt. It was stark, vivid, emotive and powerful.

God, those two... my heart broke for them, and then healed for them, and then twinged with hope and love.

You are an amazing writer. You'll never convince me otherwise

[kianspo]

You're way too kind to me, bb, as usual. You do that, you know. :D One day your pink glasses are gonna go missing, and don't say I didn't warn you then. ;)

You know, your feedback holds a special meaning to me and a certain kind of dread. You're my barometer of sorts for Jim. Me being a Spock-girl, I am always worried if I'm doing things right by Jim. In some of my stories, it actually leads to him overshadowing Spock, ironic as it is, but I'm fine with that. I trust you with his characterization; you, like, wrote a book on it, and if you say things are fine, I let out the breath I was holding, and think, okay then, Jimmy, we're fine. :D

Hey, it's not selfless. I enjoy it. ;)

Thanks, love. <333

[jaylee_g]

One day your pink are gonna go missing, and don't say I didn't warn you then.

lalala, can't hear you... ;-)

I trust you with his characterization; you, like, wrote a book on it.

That's really sweet of you to say, I'm immensely flattered, but it's also kinda ironic, 'cause even though I'm a Jim-girl, I always worry if I do him justice, too. I by no means consider myself an expert on him. Strangely, I have an easier time writing Spock. Ah, irony. We're kinda hilarious, you and I, we're like the quintessential type A prototypes, both of us worrying down to the littlest detail. Seriously though, I'm sorry that I've made you weary about my feedback. I don't mean to come off overbearing with my Jim-love. Admittedly I do get defensive on behalf of the poor guy (in fact, I wrote my very first Reboot fic "Improbability" for that reason... I was tired of reading child/idiot/only-thinks-with-his-dick!Jim that was cropping up in a lot of the Reboot fic early, early on) but I try really hard not to be all weird and anal about it. I love your

[kianspo]

lalala, can't hear you... ;-)

*facepalm* You are a horrible, stubborn person, you know that, right? xD

I'm sorry that I've made you weary about my feedback.

I think (hope?) you meant wary, and no you haven't, and I'm certainly never weary or your feedback and never will be. ;)

Don't get me wrong, bb, I'm not intimidated by it. It's my litmus, if you please, in case I ever fall into temptation of making one of them look better at the other's expense. Comes in handy. ;)

I'm tentatively picking at my response piece. Just, at the moment, my Merlin obligations take precedence.

[primarycolors92]

Oh, now I'm crying.

This is... you genius! I'm not sure I have words.

Chess is such a staple in fandom, and to see it done so exquisitely here, it's just stunning.

I'm, in all honesty, a little frightened by how well you got into Spock's head, and Jim's. It makes me a little worried for you!

[kianspo]

I'm, in all honesty, a little frightened by how well you got into Spock's head, and Jim's. It makes me a little worried for you!

LOL! Oh, don't worry, this train has long gone. Any chance for sanity was on it, so now I'm just hanging on to whatever's left. ;)

Thanks for your emotions and your kind words. I'm so very pleased the cliches have worked well. :D

[silvertoekee]

That was such an awesome emotional roller coaster ride of angst! My eyes got big when Jim was saying all that stuff to Spock and I was like oh heck. And then when Spock attacked him and broke down it made me want to sniffle. The worst part was when Spock said he can never go home again or buy his mom flowers I was like heck that is so sad sniff. Ah I bow down to you, you awesome writer :).

[kianspo]

The worst part was when Spock said he can never go home again or buy his mom flowers

You have no idea how much it pleases me you said that. This was something I struggled with the most -- how to convey the magnitude of his grief and loss even remotely adequately. I am so happy it worked.

Thank you very much for taking the time to tell me. <3

[ariadnechan]

Oh this was so intense, so much pain, and so beautiful in a sense!
I love that Jim and Him could talk about their depths of hell!ç

maybe they can build paradise now!!

and i was all the way after Spock cry,thinking they were about to kiss!

You are great my friend!!

[kianspo]

:) I'll be honest with you, it was hellishly hard not to let them kiss. :D *sighs* But it was too early for that, and it would have ruined more than saved.

Still, once a K/S shipper, always a shipper. It was a tough battle. :D

Thank you, bb! xD

[ariadnechan]

well that's why i sense the kiss all the way there!!
You did it right i sense the same all the first season of star trek!

i hope you can do next part soon!!!
i totally want to see first vulcan and human kiss!!

[kianspo]

They are quite incorrigible in this respect, can't help it. :D

[jane_potter]

I'm trembling. No, actually-- trembling. Didn't notice it until I put my hands on the keyboard to type. So, that... well, that speaks for itself, I think.

The level of emotional tension in this was just incredible. Right from the beginning of the chapter-- from several chapters back, actually-- I could tell that something was going to break, but this was better than I expected. Some of the prose in here rated as the best I can remember reading, possibly ever. I'm fairly sure that the place where I started shaking, though, was right here:

"Spock cries out in sharp pain, falling backward, and he can’t stop, shouting his lungs out, because something breaks within him - something firm and solid and permanent - it breaks, and he’s rolling in pain that supersedes the mere physical by such heights that it’s barely conceivable

[kianspo]

TBH, I didn't expect the emotional impact to be this hard. Not that I'm unhappy, I'm ecstatic! But it must have been the time it took me to nail this or the even longer time this was brooding in my head. I was pretty much numb when I finally posted it. I am shocked in the best possible way that it had such an impact

[darkmuadib]

hi.
wonderful fic and all, but I just wanted respond to the concept of Spock not being two separate parts. I experience that. While I am 100% South Asian, I am Canadian born, and all my life I have always experienced the tug of war between the two cultures. Between society around me and my own family. Even to this day, the two aspects within myself, my western views and upbringing somewhat with my south asian heritage are still not reconciled. So thank you for mentioning that(and expressing it in your whole series).

[kianspo]

Thank you for speaking up!

I, too, am a child of two worlds of sorts. So yeah, the black and white division usually squicks me.