Relationship stuff

[khall]

So I was listening to this Christian broadcast about marriage the other day [because preposterous, absurd reasons]. There's this concept I've heard before about 'cleaving and leaving', leaving the old life/attachments, to 'cut' [cleave] new ones. One of the things they cited was 'it takes 9-14 years for a couple to start thinking of themselves as

Comments

[anais_pf]

I remember that early in my marriage, a young couple who lived nearby and with whom we became friends, told us how impressed they were that we were always thinking of each other and including each other in plans by saying "we" a lot, and I remember thinking well of course, we are married to each other! We made a commitment! But this couple was so impressed with the strength of our "we" that they invited us to sit at the head table with them at their wedding, even though we'd only known them a year or two at the time. Apparently once he told me he was moving out, my husband thought I should stop thinking of us as "we," even down to whether to accept an invitation to have dinner with friends. To some extent I think I will always think of us "we," even though our future paths have diverged. I still feel responsible for him.

[khall]

*hugs* I know you do. It's part of what makes you a fantastic person.:)

K.

[ironphoenix]

It seems to me that the "cleaving and leaving" thing is easily taken too far... we've preferred Kahlil Gibran's advice rather more.

Also, there seems to be a bit of a lack of understanding of the dual meaning of cleave in there.

[khall]

*nods* I didn't explain the cleave thing well. But yeah, there is a dual meaning. Sometimes I'm trying too hard to get stuff down before it escapes out of my brain that I rush.:)

K.

[bound_dragon]

I've always been really good about the "we", maybe too good. The "I" I have issues with sometimes. hehehe I do agree that love has to be maintained in a lot of ways and in some ways not. You can't take it for granted. That's the important thing I think. :)

[vickitori09]

With recent events, I've read so many things about relationships/marriage and the "we" seems a recurring and important piece across the board.