Cesc's All-American Key Party
Title: Cesc's All American Key Party
With: Cesc Fabregas, Fernando Torres, Sergio Ramos, Pepe Reina, Joan Capdevilla, Xavi, Gerard Pique, Pepe Reina, Stuart Holden, Carlos Bocanegra, Tim Howard, Benny Feilhaber, Clint Dempsey, Landon Donovan, Steve Cherundolo
Rating: R
Disclaimer: This would never happen, and I don't even pretend it did.
Reminder: Please have all entries posted no later than June 4, 2011- or Cesc will find you and give you a massive wedgie.
Cesc was giggling. This concerned Nando. The team was sitting around their hotel in Boston, the rain keeping them away from the pool
"Why is he giggling?" Sergio asked.
"No idea," Nando said as Cesc sent another text and giggled again.
"Guys!" Cesc stood up. "I need six volunteers for a dangerous mission."
Nando glared. "Cesc, for the love of god..."
"What kind of mission?" Joan asked. He was always left out of everything, and if there was something fun going on, he was getting in on it.
Cesc grinned. "A very, very important, secret mission."
Joan shrugged. "Yeah, I'm in."
"Good man. Who else, Geri?"
"This doesn't inolve tattoos again, does it?"
"Nope. Sex."
Geri grinned. "Yeah, count me in."
"Sex?" Sergio looked up. "Come on, Nando, let's go."
Nando groaned. "Sergio..."
"Me and Nando are in," Sergio said.
"Yeah, me too," Pepe agreed.
Cesc giggled. "One more. Iker."
"Not a chance in hell, Cesc."
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"
"No."
Xavi, sitting with Iker, watched Cesc crawl over on his hands and knees. Xavi laughed. "Iker, how can you say no to that."
"Do I get to have sex with you?" Iker asked Cesc.
"No."
"Then no."
"Iker!"
Xavi laughed. "I'll go, Cesc."
"YES!" Cesc said. "Come on, I called us a cab."
Cesc scampered out of the room, and the six volunteers followed.
"We're not going to get arrested for this, are we?" Nando said. "I so don't want to go to some American prison."
"We're not going to get arrested," Sergio said. "My guess is this is immoral, not illegal."
"Isn't gay sex illegal in America?" Pepe asked.
"No, just gay marriage," Xavi said.
"That's stupid," Geri rolled his eyes. "What the fuck does it matter who you marry?"
"Americans are strange," Sergio said.
Cesc had gotten them a mini-van cab, and they all piled in. Sergio, Nando and Xavi were in the back, with Joan, Pepe, and Geri in the middle.
"We need an off-license," Cesc told the driver.
"What?" the driver asked.
Geri leaned up. "We need booze."
"Oh, sure," the driver nodded.
Cesc frowned and Geri shrugged. "They don't have off-license in America."
The driver stopped at a liquor store and Cesc drug Joan inside with him. "We need seven bottles of vodka."
"Seven?!!
"I'm not sharing mine with you," Cesc said reasonably. He handed Joan three bottles of Absolut and carried four more to the register. They waited while the clerk checked their ID, and bagged all of the bottles in individual paper bags. No wonder there was global warming, Cesc thought as the clerk then put the bottles in three plastic bags.
They carried their purchases back to the waiting cab.
"We going to a party?" Geri asked.
"Yup," Cesc said and gave the driver the name of a posh hotel just a few blocks away.
They all piled out while Cesc paid the driver with a wad of American cash, and led the way into the lobby. "Fifth floor," he told Sergio who was in the lead. All seven footballers squished into the undersized elevator. Someone grabbed Cesc's ass. He let out a squeak and almost dropped the vodka.
He led the way to a hotel room and knocked on the door.
"Hi," grinned Landon Donovan as he opened the door.
"We got vodka!" Cesc chirped.
"Then come in!" shouted someone from inside the room.
The Spaniards filed into the room, which was fairly good sized suite. Lying about were six members of the USMNT: Carlos Bocanegra, Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard, Benny Feilhaber, Steven Cherundolo, and...
"Stu Holden!" Cesc yelled and ran over to him. "I thought you were like hurt!"
"I never miss a national team call up," Stu said as Cesc glomped him.
"Sit, please," Landon invited as he began unwrapping the bottles of vodka. Spaniards found places to sit, looking a bit apprehensive. "Cesc, you didn't tell them what they were getting into, did you?"
Cesc grinned. "Nope."
Sergio chuckled. "It's so obviously a key party. What, do we look like virgins?"
"Well yes," Carlos said. "But also a vodka party."
"Vodka party?" Pepe asked.
"Basically there's a lot of drunk, horny boys fucking," Steve told them.
"So pretty much every night with the SNT," Xavi laughed.
Landon lined up the bottles and got out a Sharpie. "Alright. Here's the deal. I'm writing the names of all the American lads on the bottom of one of these bottles. The Spaniards all choose a bottle and retire to the room of their chosen companion for the evening."
"Drunk, random fucking. My favorite," Sergio grinned.
"Who wants to go first?" Landon asked.
"I will," Pepe offered. In truth, he didn't mind which of these men he went with. They were all fairly tasty. He got up and selected a bottle. "Dolo?" (acrayonsmile )
Steve Cherundolo grinned. "Oh, yes PLEASE!" The defender jumped up. Sexy bald keepers were his favorite.
Everyone laughed as Steve pulled Pepe from the room.
"One satisfied customer," Landon said. "Torres, you wanna go next?"
"Sure," Nando agreed, though not nearly as enthusiastically. He picked the bottle on the end of the row. "Boca?" (karneol_vision )
Carlos Bocanegra grinned. "Nice."
Nando smiled at him politely and let himself be led out of the room.
"Fuck, he got the one I wanted!" Joan complained.
Landon laughed. "You go next, and hopefully we don't disappoint."
Joan grabbed the one in the middle and looked at the bottom. "Benny?" (spain_fanatic79 )
Benny Feilhaber chuckled. "Oh fuck, now I have to live up to Boca."
Joan flushed slightly, but Benny just shook his head. "I'm next door."
"You go, Xavi," Cesc said, looking around at who was left. He wanted them all.
Xavi grabbed a bottle. "Clint...Dempsey," he finished for himself, and turned to the Texan. (kitty69lover )
Clint got up and strode over to him. He leaned down and planted a proprietary kiss on Xavi's mouth. Everyone cheered.
"Oooh, be good to him, Dempsey!"
Cesc was really fidgeting now. Stu, Landon, and Tim Howard were left. He knew who he wanted. "You go, Geri."
Pique got up and grabbed the bottle on the far left. "Landon!" (elizaberglund )
Landon's eyes got wide. Oh, fuck. "Uh...this is my room so, uh..."
"Sergio, Cesc, grab a bottle and get out," Pique said.
Sergio and Cesc both grabbed for the same bottle. Sergio gave Cesc a glare. "Mine."
Cesc let go. "Soz!"
Sergio looked at the bottom and grinned. "Howard. (totally_loca )
Tim grinned. "Oh, nice one. Thanks Landon."
"OH YES!" Cesc cheered. "I GETS A STU HOLDEN!!!"
Stu laughed out loud. "Oh Cesc."
Cesc grabbed his hand. "We gotta go, BYE!"
"Cesc!" Landon called. "Don't forget your vodka!!!!"
The Pairings:
Cesc Fabregas/Stuart Holden (lovinthelads ) - it was a blind draw, I swear on Cesc's Spidey Pants
Fernando Torres/Carlos Bocanegra (karneol_vision )
Sergio Ramos/Tim Howard (totally_loca )
Joan Capdevila/Benny Feilhaber (spain_fanatic79 )
Xavi/Clint Dempsey (kitty69lover )
Gerard Pique/Landon Donovan (elizaberglund )
Pepe Reina/Steve Cherundolo (acrayonsmile )
With: Cesc Fabregas, Fernando Torres, Sergio Ramos, Pepe Reina, Joan Capdevilla, Xavi, Gerard Pique, Pepe Reina, Stuart Holden, Carlos Bocanegra, Tim Howard, Benny Feilhaber, Clint Dempsey, Landon Donovan, Steve Cherundolo
Rating: R
Disclaimer: This would never happen, and I don't even pretend it did.
Reminder: Please have all entries posted no later than June 4, 2011- or Cesc will find you and give you a massive wedgie.
Cesc was giggling. This concerned Nando. The team was sitting around their hotel in Boston, the rain keeping them away from the pool
"Why is he giggling?" Sergio asked.
"No idea," Nando said as Cesc sent another text and giggled again.
"Guys!" Cesc stood up. "I need six volunteers for a dangerous mission."
Nando glared. "Cesc, for the love of god..."
"What kind of mission?" Joan asked. He was always left out of everything, and if there was something fun going on, he was getting in on it.
Cesc grinned. "A very, very important, secret mission."
Joan shrugged. "Yeah, I'm in."
"Good man. Who else, Geri?"
"This doesn't inolve tattoos again, does it?"
"Nope. Sex."
Geri grinned. "Yeah, count me in."
"Sex?" Sergio looked up. "Come on, Nando, let's go."
Nando groaned. "Sergio..."
"Me and Nando are in," Sergio said.
"Yeah, me too," Pepe agreed.
Cesc giggled. "One more. Iker."
"Not a chance in hell, Cesc."
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"
"No."
Xavi, sitting with Iker, watched Cesc crawl over on his hands and knees. Xavi laughed. "Iker, how can you say no to that."
"Do I get to have sex with you?" Iker asked Cesc.
"No."
"Then no."
"Iker!"
Xavi laughed. "I'll go, Cesc."
"YES!" Cesc said. "Come on, I called us a cab."
Cesc scampered out of the room, and the six volunteers followed.
"We're not going to get arrested for this, are we?" Nando said. "I so don't want to go to some American prison."
"We're not going to get arrested," Sergio said. "My guess is this is immoral, not illegal."
"Isn't gay sex illegal in America?" Pepe asked.
"No, just gay marriage," Xavi said.
"That's stupid," Geri rolled his eyes. "What the fuck does it matter who you marry?"
"Americans are strange," Sergio said.
Cesc had gotten them a mini-van cab, and they all piled in. Sergio, Nando and Xavi were in the back, with Joan, Pepe, and Geri in the middle.
"We need an off-license," Cesc told the driver.
"What?" the driver asked.
Geri leaned up. "We need booze."
"Oh, sure," the driver nodded.
Cesc frowned and Geri shrugged. "They don't have off-license in America."
The driver stopped at a liquor store and Cesc drug Joan inside with him. "We need seven bottles of vodka."
"Seven?!!
"I'm not sharing mine with you," Cesc said reasonably. He handed Joan three bottles of Absolut and carried four more to the register. They waited while the clerk checked their ID, and bagged all of the bottles in individual paper bags. No wonder there was global warming, Cesc thought as the clerk then put the bottles in three plastic bags.
They carried their purchases back to the waiting cab.
"We going to a party?" Geri asked.
"Yup," Cesc said and gave the driver the name of a posh hotel just a few blocks away.
They all piled out while Cesc paid the driver with a wad of American cash, and led the way into the lobby. "Fifth floor," he told Sergio who was in the lead. All seven footballers squished into the undersized elevator. Someone grabbed Cesc's ass. He let out a squeak and almost dropped the vodka.
He led the way to a hotel room and knocked on the door.
"Hi," grinned Landon Donovan as he opened the door.
"We got vodka!" Cesc chirped.
"Then come in!" shouted someone from inside the room.
The Spaniards filed into the room, which was fairly good sized suite. Lying about were six members of the USMNT: Carlos Bocanegra, Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard, Benny Feilhaber, Steven Cherundolo, and...
"Stu Holden!" Cesc yelled and ran over to him. "I thought you were like hurt!"
"I never miss a national team call up," Stu said as Cesc glomped him.
"Sit, please," Landon invited as he began unwrapping the bottles of vodka. Spaniards found places to sit, looking a bit apprehensive. "Cesc, you didn't tell them what they were getting into, did you?"
Cesc grinned. "Nope."
Sergio chuckled. "It's so obviously a key party. What, do we look like virgins?"
"Well yes," Carlos said. "But also a vodka party."
"Vodka party?" Pepe asked.
"Basically there's a lot of drunk, horny boys fucking," Steve told them.
"So pretty much every night with the SNT," Xavi laughed.
Landon lined up the bottles and got out a Sharpie. "Alright. Here's the deal. I'm writing the names of all the American lads on the bottom of one of these bottles. The Spaniards all choose a bottle and retire to the room of their chosen companion for the evening."
"Drunk, random fucking. My favorite," Sergio grinned.
"Who wants to go first?" Landon asked.
"I will," Pepe offered. In truth, he didn't mind which of these men he went with. They were all fairly tasty. He got up and selected a bottle. "Dolo?" (acrayonsmile )
Steve Cherundolo grinned. "Oh, yes PLEASE!" The defender jumped up. Sexy bald keepers were his favorite.
Everyone laughed as Steve pulled Pepe from the room.
"One satisfied customer," Landon said. "Torres, you wanna go next?"
"Sure," Nando agreed, though not nearly as enthusiastically. He picked the bottle on the end of the row. "Boca?" (karneol_vision )
Carlos Bocanegra grinned. "Nice."
Nando smiled at him politely and let himself be led out of the room.
"Fuck, he got the one I wanted!" Joan complained.
Landon laughed. "You go next, and hopefully we don't disappoint."
Joan grabbed the one in the middle and looked at the bottom. "Benny?" (spain_fanatic79 )
Benny Feilhaber chuckled. "Oh fuck, now I have to live up to Boca."
Joan flushed slightly, but Benny just shook his head. "I'm next door."
"You go, Xavi," Cesc said, looking around at who was left. He wanted them all.
Xavi grabbed a bottle. "Clint...Dempsey," he finished for himself, and turned to the Texan. (kitty69lover )
Clint got up and strode over to him. He leaned down and planted a proprietary kiss on Xavi's mouth. Everyone cheered.
"Oooh, be good to him, Dempsey!"
Cesc was really fidgeting now. Stu, Landon, and Tim Howard were left. He knew who he wanted. "You go, Geri."
Pique got up and grabbed the bottle on the far left. "Landon!" (elizaberglund )
Landon's eyes got wide. Oh, fuck. "Uh...this is my room so, uh..."
"Sergio, Cesc, grab a bottle and get out," Pique said.
Sergio and Cesc both grabbed for the same bottle. Sergio gave Cesc a glare. "Mine."
Cesc let go. "Soz!"
Sergio looked at the bottom and grinned. "Howard. (totally_loca )
Tim grinned. "Oh, nice one. Thanks Landon."
"OH YES!" Cesc cheered. "I GETS A STU HOLDEN!!!"
Stu laughed out loud. "Oh Cesc."
Cesc grabbed his hand. "We gotta go, BYE!"
"Cesc!" Landon called. "Don't forget your vodka!!!!"
The Pairings:
Cesc Fabregas/Stuart Holden (lovinthelads ) - it was a blind draw, I swear on Cesc's Spidey Pants
Fernando Torres/Carlos Bocanegra (karneol_vision )
Sergio Ramos/Tim Howard (totally_loca )
Joan Capdevila/Benny Feilhaber (spain_fanatic79 )
Xavi/Clint Dempsey (kitty69lover )
Gerard Pique/Landon Donovan (elizaberglund )
Pepe Reina/Steve Cherundolo (acrayonsmile )