Brigit's Flame, September, week #2

[keppiehed]

Title: Into Forever
Author: keppiehed
Rating: R
Warnings: language, adult situations
Word Count: 644
Prompt: “The Journey Doesn't End Here”
A/N: Written for week #2 at brigits_flame. I am excited to be an a monthlong side challenge with the fantastic and talented 1onewon and firesign10, in which we start our stories with each other's last lines. So this begins firesign10's challenge for week #3

Comments

[meganeko_mausuu]

I was actually sort of expecting something of a supernatural nature, with those first few lines. Not that this was bad, at all.

[keppiehed]

I actually thought about going that route! But I ended up changing my mind. thanks for reading!

[bluegerl]

Extraordinary. Quite extraordinary. What a collection of pictures all with their own stories. This piece alone gives us mindfood whose journies don't end here... one must follow where they lead.

This is some piece, Keppie. Almost every line shook me:-

From the two smoking against the rules. The 'waiting for Godot' philosophy. Their job... and the lack of witnessing now, there've been so many...

The endless rows - (it's like that a lot here. Huge horizons of white crosses. Dreadful.) But it sets the whole scene in one swoop, they are defined in their work, the place, the time...

The 'Benny said' and then one finds Benny has been buried in row three. FULL STOP! (airbags necessary here!)

And that poetic last line... oh firesign what a poetic wonderful line....

Keppie. this is one of your best! LOVE YOU.

[keppiehed]

Oh, I'm so pleased to know that you liked it! I thought it was too maudlin, myself. I was really stumped for a good long while on this one. Usually I just plunk my stories out, and I just kept going back to this one; I wasn't sure where I was going with it. I was thinking it was a weird mish-mash. Thank you so much for your vote of confidence! *squishes you*

[bluegerl]

Maudlin? Not a bit of it. It was decidedly down to earth and NOT gloopy. These two chaps had become so inured to their job... it was just a job. No reverencing, feeble hat doffing, no artificial sobs.etc. It was matter-of-fact. Even standing to attention for the 'taps' was just a reflex...done it so many times before.

It was the contrast of the lines and lines and lines of 'dead heros' as they'd be referred to, and the ordinariness of these two, having a smoko, and digging and tamping. Again, and then again.

There is a poignancy there... but not maudlin, no love, not that.

[keppiehed]

We don't have many military cemeteries here in Michigan. I have been to plenty of funerals where military honors are accorded, of course (always makes me cry!), and I have even been the bugler for my fair share of them myself, but I had never seen an actual military cemetery in person until a few weeks ago. It was really humbling and surreal. It was this really peaceful place, but all those rows and rows and rows of markers ... it was disquieting. And there were these service men and women in their dress whites, and when they heard the twenty-one gun salute, they stopped whatever they were doing and saluted. The experience must have stayed with me! I am glad I didn't make it maudlin; I was really afraid of that!

[sunnythirty3]

This has great imagery. :)

[keppiehed]

Ah, thank you. I thought it was over the top! But thank you so much for reading it!

[keppiehed]

*headdesk for the Yoda* I didn't even see that! Argh! hehehe

And trust me to go all depressive. :P But I thought that was a good last line for Carole, although I have no idea what she'll do with it. Now I am all set for you to do your worst in week three. Muahahaha! Bring it on!

[firesign10]

Ahahahaha, it's my line! (Hey, they should make a TV show with that...) And hmm, I think I will definitely see about a poem...it's been a while since I poeted...

[keppiehed]

Hehehe! And I add my voice to the chorus; you should definitely poet! Er, poem? Yours are so good! And otherwise I fear you are going to be stuck writing about a mah-johngg game gone wrong or something. :D

[firesign10]

Wow, this was lovely and thought-provoking. I almost had an "alas, poor Yorick!" moment in the beginning! Masterful use of the first line ;-)

[keppiehed]

And thank you; you know I whined about that first line to all and sundry. *laughs*