Brigit's Flame, January week #2, All Stars

[keppiehed]

Title: Lifting the Veil
Author: Keppiehed
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: 574
Prompt: “Transcendent”
A/N: Written for week #2 at Brigits_flame, All Star's contest.

Comments

[bluegerl]

Eeeek. Ooooer. Please don't... the nights are long enough Keppie!
What a way to describe 'it' and 'them'. Horrid and sneaky, sliding and waiting... aaaah nooooooo.

Oh Keppie. its brilliant, but ooooh I don't want to listen to my wooden stairs creaking any more. I always thought there were 'them' walking up them to get to me. That's why I moved into the back bedroom fifteen years ago! See!!! they do wait, and won't leave...
(I swear this house IS haunted, but as it was made of four tiny ones all side by side, THAT ghost can only haunt THAT end of the house, not my sleeping end! (He is mischievous too, cos he dirties the stove top, when I KNOW I left it immaculate!)

PS I was so happy this morning to receive Klimt! LOVE Klimt!!! Bless, will reply. HUGS!!!!!!

[keppiehed]

I wasn't sure if this was silly, with this perspective! I was biting my nails for the first review! Originally I had the idea that the house itself was watching, but I let it settle into a more nonspecific entity, and as I wrote it ended up being more malevolent that I had intended. I don't usually write such creepy stuff! *shivers*

And I swear that Klimt took forever and a day to reach you! I am starting to think that Munith doesn't know the way to France. Are they taking the long way round?

[bluegerl]

I think it may have come about the 8th or 9th, cos one day I hadn't opened the mailbox. (usually just junk mail and the A wanted to go out shopping, for food! and a meal out, and I forgot the mailbox). Now I have to get into the kitchen, (the only table for writing on) and reply!!!!! Love Klimt.. have real 'things' about his stuff. Bless you and I am glad it pleased. WILL write. *LOVES*

[keppiehed]

I carry a clipboard--pink, of course!--everywhere I go, so I don't have to sit at the table. So you have had letters written from everywhere imaginable! I have another long letter started for you as we speak, but it is on boring butterfly paper so don't get your hopes up!

[w_x_2]

This is good. Like really good. There was a contented smile in my face all throughout, and I couldn't tear my eyes away.

I mean, the little details, the wind, the boy, the mother. And everything just building up, telling us that she wont be able to get away from the truth. And the fact that she needs medication to keep her sane.

Just, wow, it's beautiful in it's own horrific way. "There is always time."

[keppiehed]

You are always so nice to me! I don't think I have ever attempted anything like this before, so I was very nervous about it! I am in a competition with the most fantastic bunch of writers ever, so I hope it is good enough to get my through to week 3 ... I never know what people will like. But I feel a lot better knowing that you thought it was beautiful. You are always kinder to me than I deserve! *hugs you*

[w_x_2]

Nonsense, I'm stating the facts, you deserved all the compliments ^^ You didn't need to be nervous at all!

[bardiphouka]

There are times when the wonder of the writing can almost interfere with the story itself. That was not the case here, but because your power as a story writer is up to the task of the story itself, if that makes sense.

Btw..
her mind crumples like origami left in a deluge

Left me with a severe case of the tingles. Truly.

[keppiehed]

I was worried that I'd wandered into the precious. I know it wasn't much of a story and the affect took center stage, which is a rather unpleasant sensation when reading. :( But I'm glad you liked the simile, thank you.

[rubyelf]

Beautiful imagery, and a nice shiver too, with the sense of the inevitable, of endless time and waiting and watching.

[keppiehed]

Thank you! I tried something new with this perspective, but I am not sure it paid off!

[belluminabyssus]

Ooh, so delightfully creepy. It's a very different writing style than I've seen you do, but I like that you branched out, because it worked well here. It reminds me of a certain writing or piece, but I can't come up with what it is now ... which will probably bother me until the end of time. I truly loved this, for real -- I'll definitely be voting for you this week, mark my words.

[keppiehed]

You are so sweet to say that about this! I like to try new things, but I am afraid it didn't serve me well this week. I'm in the run-off, and losing even that! But I tell you, I am not sorry one bit to lose to such a fine group of writers. Everyone is fantastic, so if I go home, it was knowing I was outwritten by the best.

[belluminabyssus]

Win or lose, I think this is a really great piece, and you should definitely be proud of it! :)