Brigit's Flame Entry- Week 4 November

[keppiehed]

Title: The Two Faces of Mari-Rin
Author: Keppiehed
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: adult subject matter
Word Count: 2473
Prompt: “Master of Disguise”
A/N: Written for week #4 at Brigits_flame. I would like to make a note that this story explores only one part of being geisha, and that it has a long and complicated history. I do not intend to portray geisha as prostitutes. To

Comments

[vyvyan_wilde]

I really hope you'll continue this! The way it ended made me hungry for more, to find out what happened during the erikae and with Mari-Rin's client. Though it stands alone well, I also feel like it could be the beginning to a longer piece. Do you have any plans for that? (No pressure XD I know how difficult connected pieces can be.)

The Japanese words sprinkled throughout made this feel really genuine. It was cool to learn about the secret world of geishas and what goes on behind their calm masks. And the details of Mari-Rin putting on her makeup were perfect. You've done some very diverse pieces this month, and they've all been awesome!

[keppiehed]

You were my first reviewer for this! I was really nervous, because I felt like this was WAY too much technical/historical detail and it read like a history book or an info-dump and that it wasn't interesting at all. I felt like this whole month I was really off my game, and I was just hanging out there, trying different things to see what would stick. I am glad to see that you seemed to like them all, even if I was insecure with them. I owe you a HUGE thank you for wading through everything, especially when I know how busy you are. Your attention means the world to me, as you know I esteem you and your skills very highly. Thank you so much for setting aside the time and so thoughtfully reading my stories, I am very thankful to know you. *hugs*

[pelethetart]

Have you ever read or seen Liza Dalby speak? Her experiences as the first American to be inducted into an actual geisha house are incredible, and stunning. I was transfixed listening to her, and then of course read everything she was affiliated with. lol

[keppiehed]

I am so amazed by your in-depth review here! This is such a thrill to see so much thought put into something that I wrote, and I am very honored that you would take the time to send your thoughts and opinions. Let me try and address some of the questions you raised

[pelethetart]

I have this absolute fascination with women of questionable virtue, or those who are perceived to have been.

Geisha are high on that list.
If you ever decide to revisit this story, I would be more than happy to help you with your research focus to beef up the accuracy a bit (I am such a researcher by habit it's disgusting really lol), or, I know editing has already been assigned but if you'd like me to do a formal edit, I'd be happy to.

I have often fallen victim of my characters directions. In fact, I have another story that I had intended for this week waiting to be finished because it took turns that didn't fit the prompt anymore, forcing me to write a completely different one. I absolutely feel ya there. How dare these people have lives of their own!? ;-)

Best of luck to you as well. Everyone has done some amazing pieces this week.

[keppiehed]

You are very kind to offer me a formal edit! I didn't sign up for one this week because I knew that this piece was not up to snuff, although I always welcome concrit. Whenever I know I didn't do very well, I just skip the edits, because I hate to ask other people to go through a piece so thoroughly that I am not very proud of. But, like I said, I am always open to suggestions and I welcome ways to improve myself and my style.

I am off to read yours now! And I agree; the competition has been fierce across the board this week!

[keppiehed]

Aw, you're making me blush, you really are! At least I didn't put my usual "I hate this story!" disclaimer at the top, which I definitely have you to thank for, so that's some kind of progress, right? My fingers are itching to every time, and I think of you and decide against it. So I'm getting somewhere, slowly. As for thinking it actually might be good ... I still have a long way to go. Maybe 2011 will be our year to be kinder to ourselves, huh? Baby steps! At any rate, I thank you for reading it even when I tried to warn you away from it. You are always a friend, and just what I need!

[madame_malady]

This was a lovely piece! The characters were deliciously fleshed out, and the setting you painted out for us was wondrous.

Particular kudos for the character of Michizono by the way - I love sinking my teeth into a well-written villain, and I really wanted to throw her a good punch or two when she was naming poor Mari-Rin. Well done. :)

I wish you the best of luck in the polls this week!

[keppiehed]

Thank you so much! I haven't written villains a lot, but I may have to revisit that, because it was a lot of fun! Certainly a great deal more exciting than writing someone good. Maybe I have a theme for December: moral ambiguity? You with me? I think the first prompt lends itself perfectly to it, and you have some WIPs that could support it. I say we should do it!

At any rate, I thank you for reading this, and wish you best of luck, as well. Everyone turned in a fantastic piece to be proud of this week! When the quality of writing is this high, we are all winners!

[madame_malady]

Really sorry about the late reply, reality's been getting pretty hectic lately. D:

As much as I'd love to join in the theme-scheme, I've got a whole truckload of exams coming up and I really don't have the time for writing this month. :( If you decide to do it though, I can't wait to devour all the lovely, lovely villainy you write forth when I do a marathon reading session after December!

Congrats again on the win by the way. :D

[quaffswinegaily]

I know I can't add anything to what has already been said. I agree it's a bit over heavy on the japanese terminology (you must have done a heap of research for this piece) but love your characters, particularly the vindictive Michizuno.

[keppiehed]

You know this was far from my favorite, but since I wrote this, I FINALLY won at the Flame! I have been writing every week without fail since I joined in October 2009, and I have won the weekly competitions, but never the monthly one. I know it is sad, but I don't think I've ever applied myself to anything for this length of time. So for that reason alone I will be glad I wrote this, even if I wish I had won for a better piece! Thanks for wading through, even if it was a bit much to take at times. I really do always appreciate your comments!

[quaffswinegaily]

Congratulations on your win! It's well deserved after all the time, effort and skill you put into your work. Well done, lass!