catharsis dump: kris

[kenkabu]

so i have a LOOOOT of wips. in light of recent events, the probability of me finishing 99% of them has dropped from a dubious "ehh maybe, if i finish better stuff first" to a solid "nah peace out." so i've gone through my word docs, picked a few of the ones i liked more than others, and have pasted out some paragraphs that focus on kris in some way

Comments

[byebyeflowerboy]

That Kris you thought you knew might still be in there. He might still surround himself with plush toys and gently move people out of his way. But when people are constantly scraped thin, and personally seeing little reward for it, that begins to worm its way into a person also. We'll probably really never know his true reasons for leaving, everything that's going on in his head. I think he's been doing badly for a while now. Maybe even since before Wolf. Maybe his health was in danger. Maybe he wasn't the one to choose the timing. Maybe he was scared to tell the others, or too sad to, knowing they would try to stop him. Maybe he really wasn't close with a lot of them or even most. Maybe he never wanted to be an idol and the pain outweighed his happiness, much like Han Geng from Super Junior, whose case is eerily similar, except that his talents stretched far, unlike Kris, who only really has his charm and looks and basketball

[kenkabu]

The one thing that makes me saddest is that despite possible fear and sadness, he chose not to tell the members. Or at least that's what seems to be the case.these are mte. his reasons for leaving could be as valid as the theory of gravity but his choice to blindside the other members like this at such a crucial moment of their careers is the worst thing he could possibly have done in all the ways he could have approached this. yes maybe he felt like he couldn't tell them, maybe in his head he thought this would be better in the end, but his intentions are only known to him (ugh to have that BTS view like you mentioned!!!), and exo and their fans can only deal with the fallout of his actions. and his actions show he does not respect or trust the people who were closest to him, who worked really hard with him and suffered with him, and who, from my eyes, seemed to adore him. yes there's also a case to be made for fanservice, like no one was as close as the cameras made it seem, but mostly i'm thinking of tao. you can't fake the way

[byebyeflowerboy]

When I made that comment about the world, I wasn't thinking of Kris, actually

[kenkabu]

i'm sorry you have had to deal with this. emotions are running high right now and seems like fandom is splitting apart. please don't take hate messages to heart. i know it's hard though, if you're bombarded with them. if you can get away from the negativity in any way -- please do that. everyone is entitled to feel the way they want to about this situation but it is a no-go for me to bash other people's opinions

[mrwu]

"Listen to me," Joonmyeon says, and now he means every word. "I can't do this alone. I need you to be with us. You're leader too. Okay? We need you too."
Just wondering...did you write this one more recently

[kenkabu]

i really relate to your feelings, especially about maybe not following exo after this. i want to and i was set to, but the more i think about it, the less sure i'll have the motivation, because yeah, me too, kris was my ultimate and my major draw, regardless of how much i love the other members. MAN i liked him so much :((( especially for fic, he was really great writing inspiration to me, and it suckssss because he STILL IS LOL (even more so??) with all this stuff he's pulled. but i have no idea how to write him anymore bc i can't be sure of who he is, and that stings a looot. and imo exo was perfect with 12 members, so well-balanced and managed (their hexagon logo! their k = m shtick!!), which now has also been ruined completely. hard to stick with them when the biggest things i liked about them is gone, you know? but i think as an exo fan i should still support them as much as i can, and if i'm not feeling it after a while, it's not like i didn't try :/ ugh idkkk

[kenkabu]

and lastly, about that excerpt, yes, i did write it recently. i started writing that fic around the end of march/beginning of april, because i wanted a gen fic about how i saw kris and suho leading exo. inspired by real life events!! i wanted to "clear the air" so to speak, about kris' Big Hiatus last year -- of course the point of suho encouraging kris like that was to reassure the two of them that kris wouldn't leave again. it's obviously the most ironic of all the WIPs here lol... it's actually even more ironic because there was another section (that i didn't post) about how exo, as all idol groups, don't ACTUALLY need a leader, since they have managers and directors to do all that kind of stuff, but the fic was supposed to subtly show that exo, having so many members and having two divisions, still benefit a lot with a leader, even ones as floppy as kris and suho can be sometimes. it was supposed to contrast krisho's leader styles: kris who really looks the part and can step up when he needs to, but suho who is overall more

[yongie]

Wow, I knew this was coming! I agree with your thoughts. Him leaving must have hurt a lot, but the fans should learn how to accept it without hurt others! I couldn't keep up with the infos about his lawsuit and everything so I can't even explain how I feel about it... (awfully short and futile comment here.)
Anyway I'm happy just knowing this won't be your finale goodbye, I really love your writing! So if there's a chance that you'll continue with fanfics, I'm here to support you!

[tasuku]

So, this is because I was going through bookmarks today and just reading random fics I've liked to pass the day. I came to the recent entries to see if anything new had been written and stumbled upon this post for the first time, and honestly I'm not even sure if you'll see this comment, but if you do......

Now over a year later and with the things that have been revealed since the initial happenings last year, do you still think of him and the situation the same as you did when you initially wrote this?

And of course you don't have to answer this, I'm just curious. I was never an EXO myself, just a somewhat fan of Kris, Kyungsoo and Jongdae in passing, so it's been very interesting to me observing how everyone in that fandom dealt with it and how some are still dealing with it today. Anyway. I'll shut up now.