Wednesday's Child

[kenakeri]

Mommy gets up early to watch the sun rise every day over the sea. She cries as she watches, and it makes me feel sad. Sometimes I crawl into her lap and hug her. She never hugs me back, but I don't care. I don't understand why she is so sad when the sun is so pretty

Comments

[theafaye]

This is bittersweet and beautiful.

[kenakeri]

Thanks. So far, this was the hardest topic for me to write.

[agirlnamedluna]

this is so ... heartwrenchingly beautiful.

[kenakeri]

Glad you liked it.

[kenakeri]

Sorry, wasn't going for tears - but glad you liked it.

[faerie_spark]

Beautifully done. The voice here is authentic, speaking with a child's intelligence about things he doesn't understand.

Excellent job.

[kenakeri]

Thank you. I was worried I made him sound too old.

[faerie_spark]

Yes, not using an age-appropriate voice when writing from a child's perspective can be an easy pitfall, but I don't think you fell into it. You kept the descriptions centred around the child--that is, you describe what he saw, felt, heard, etc. He didn't attempt to understand or explain too much.

[desert_rose]

This is beautiful!

I cried while reading it. A lovely take on this week's topic!

[kenakeri]

Thanks.