Wednesday's Child
Mommy gets up early to watch the sun rise every day over the sea. She cries as she watches, and it makes me feel sad. Sometimes I crawl into her lap and hug her. She never hugs me back, but I don't care. I don't understand why she is so sad when the sun is so pretty.
I talk to Jenna about it. Jenna is the best big sister ever. She is nine years old and she knows everything because she goes to school. She always shares with me and doesn't get mad, even when I broke her new doll by accident. Mommy likes her more because she doesn't look like daddy like I do. Mommy and Jenna are pretty, and I'm not because I'm a boy. They have the same long brown hair and dark brown eyes. Mommy doesn't know I heard when she told Jenna that.
Jenna didn't know why Mommy cries.
"I can't tell Jason. Don't tell Father. He won't like it."
I shake my head. "I won't." Father isn't home much anyway. He's going to be away until Christmas this time. I feel bad that I'm a little happy about that. Then I get the best idea in the world.
"You think if I give Mommy a present she'll be happy? Presents make me feel happy." I start to feel excited. "Maybe then she'll laugh and hug me like you and Casey do."
Jenna hugs me close. "You can try little brother." Jenna's voice sounds funny with her face squashed in my hair. I hug her back hard and run to the kitchen, where Casey is making lunch. Casey is our housekeeper and my best friend. She came from an island far away from our home. She showed us in Jenna's atlas once. It is a tiny red dot with a lot of blue between it and the big pink blob where Jenna says we live. I thought the red looked prettier than the pink.
"Casey! Could you help me make a present for Mommy? Please?"
Casey smiled. "Let me finish what I doing here and I'll do what I can to help. What you making?" I like to hear Casey talk. She always sounds like she's singing the words. I decide if I paint a smiling sun for Mommy she'll smile back at me...it. Casey draws it for me, and I spend a long time after lunch coloring it. Casey helps me stick glitter on it to make it sparkle more. Finally we're done. Casey sits back and smiles at me.
"It's beautiful Jason."
I feel proud. I want to give it to Mommy right away, so I wriggle down and run to her room, with Casey following me. I forget to knock, and Mommy frowns when I burst through the door.
"Mommy, look!"
"What do you want?"
I stop. The way she talks gives me a hurt feeling in my chest and tummy, like when I banged my head against the edge of the kitchen table. I'm a little scared of her.
"I...I maded this for you..." I hold out my picture.
"So?" She didn't even look at it. I worked on it forever and she didn't even look. I am a big boy - almost five - but I can't stop the tears. I feel someone pulling me out of the room and look up to see Casey. Her face looks so fierce I stare, but her voice is soft. "Go play Jacey, I need to to talk to this wo- your mother." There is no song when she speaks. She steps inside the room and closes the door.
I go to my room and lie down on my bed. I look at my picture. It's stupid. I didn't stay inside all the lines so it looks ugly. I squash it into a ball and throw it on the floor. I am still crying, but there's no one to see me but Bear. Bear can keep secrets, so I don't feel bad he sees me acting like a baby.
Something wakes me up. My head hurts. It's dark and my night light is on by the bed. My picture is on the bedside table. Someone has unsquashed it and it looks all crinkly. I turn away from it towards the window. Someone is there, sleeping in my rocking chair.
"Casey?" I whisper. The someone jumps awake. It's not Casey, so I turn away and pull the covers over my head.
"Jason," Mommy's voice is quiet, and I feel my eyes sting again. I feel her sit down next to me. I am angry. She never comes into my room when Father isn't here.
"Go away! I hate you! I want Casey."
"I deserve that." I pull down the covers to look at her. She looks sad. Sadder than she does when watching the sun. I don't want to stop being mad at her.
"I'm sorry Jason."
"No you're not. You hate me!I just wanted to make you smile. It makes my insides hurt because you so sad. I just wanted to give you a present..."
"A fur coat is my dream present, but this..." she leans across me to pick up the picture, "is better than any dream." I turn away. Mommy sighs. She is silent for a long while. I pretend to go back to sleep. I'm close to actually falling asleep again when she speaks again.
"A long time ago, someone took something from me. I couldn't get back what was lost, and I was so angry I blamed everyone for my carelessness except myself. Even innocent little boys who had no part in stealing it." Her hand caresses the top of my head, but I don't move and shut my eyes tighter.
I fall asleep before she leaves.
Mommy gets up early the next morning to watch the sunrise over the sea. She looks sad. I crawl into her lap and hug her. She puts her arms around me and I feel something tight leave my tummy. The morning sun is so pretty that we both cry, but I don't think we're sad. I'm going to find her a fur coat just in case.
I talk to Jenna about it. Jenna is the best big sister ever. She is nine years old and she knows everything because she goes to school. She always shares with me and doesn't get mad, even when I broke her new doll by accident. Mommy likes her more because she doesn't look like daddy like I do. Mommy and Jenna are pretty, and I'm not because I'm a boy. They have the same long brown hair and dark brown eyes. Mommy doesn't know I heard when she told Jenna that.
Jenna didn't know why Mommy cries.
"I can't tell Jason. Don't tell Father. He won't like it."
I shake my head. "I won't." Father isn't home much anyway. He's going to be away until Christmas this time. I feel bad that I'm a little happy about that. Then I get the best idea in the world.
"You think if I give Mommy a present she'll be happy? Presents make me feel happy." I start to feel excited. "Maybe then she'll laugh and hug me like you and Casey do."
Jenna hugs me close. "You can try little brother." Jenna's voice sounds funny with her face squashed in my hair. I hug her back hard and run to the kitchen, where Casey is making lunch. Casey is our housekeeper and my best friend. She came from an island far away from our home. She showed us in Jenna's atlas once. It is a tiny red dot with a lot of blue between it and the big pink blob where Jenna says we live. I thought the red looked prettier than the pink.
"Casey! Could you help me make a present for Mommy? Please?"
Casey smiled. "Let me finish what I doing here and I'll do what I can to help. What you making?" I like to hear Casey talk. She always sounds like she's singing the words. I decide if I paint a smiling sun for Mommy she'll smile back at me...it. Casey draws it for me, and I spend a long time after lunch coloring it. Casey helps me stick glitter on it to make it sparkle more. Finally we're done. Casey sits back and smiles at me.
"It's beautiful Jason."
I feel proud. I want to give it to Mommy right away, so I wriggle down and run to her room, with Casey following me. I forget to knock, and Mommy frowns when I burst through the door.
"Mommy, look!"
"What do you want?"
I stop. The way she talks gives me a hurt feeling in my chest and tummy, like when I banged my head against the edge of the kitchen table. I'm a little scared of her.
"I...I maded this for you..." I hold out my picture.
"So?" She didn't even look at it. I worked on it forever and she didn't even look. I am a big boy - almost five - but I can't stop the tears. I feel someone pulling me out of the room and look up to see Casey. Her face looks so fierce I stare, but her voice is soft. "Go play Jacey, I need to to talk to this wo- your mother." There is no song when she speaks. She steps inside the room and closes the door.
I go to my room and lie down on my bed. I look at my picture. It's stupid. I didn't stay inside all the lines so it looks ugly. I squash it into a ball and throw it on the floor. I am still crying, but there's no one to see me but Bear. Bear can keep secrets, so I don't feel bad he sees me acting like a baby.
Something wakes me up. My head hurts. It's dark and my night light is on by the bed. My picture is on the bedside table. Someone has unsquashed it and it looks all crinkly. I turn away from it towards the window. Someone is there, sleeping in my rocking chair.
"Casey?" I whisper. The someone jumps awake. It's not Casey, so I turn away and pull the covers over my head.
"Jason," Mommy's voice is quiet, and I feel my eyes sting again. I feel her sit down next to me. I am angry. She never comes into my room when Father isn't here.
"Go away! I hate you! I want Casey."
"I deserve that." I pull down the covers to look at her. She looks sad. Sadder than she does when watching the sun. I don't want to stop being mad at her.
"I'm sorry Jason."
"No you're not. You hate me!I just wanted to make you smile. It makes my insides hurt because you so sad. I just wanted to give you a present..."
"A fur coat is my dream present, but this..." she leans across me to pick up the picture, "is better than any dream." I turn away. Mommy sighs. She is silent for a long while. I pretend to go back to sleep. I'm close to actually falling asleep again when she speaks again.
"A long time ago, someone took something from me. I couldn't get back what was lost, and I was so angry I blamed everyone for my carelessness except myself. Even innocent little boys who had no part in stealing it." Her hand caresses the top of my head, but I don't move and shut my eyes tighter.
I fall asleep before she leaves.
Mommy gets up early the next morning to watch the sunrise over the sea. She looks sad. I crawl into her lap and hug her. She puts her arms around me and I feel something tight leave my tummy. The morning sun is so pretty that we both cry, but I don't think we're sad. I'm going to find her a fur coat just in case.