Comments | kelsietrpt: Where I'm at in my life (warning: full of sadness)

kelsietrpt

Where I'm at in my life (warning: full of sadness)

Jan 25, 2009 23:22

Hello friends.

Can we talk for a second?

I have no mind for pretty poetics and dazzling imagery right now. I can't even muster a few sardonic jokes about my students or politics or the economy.

Nope.

First of all: Chaplin is alright. He made a full recovery. Thank you to all who kept him in your thoughts and prayers.

Now I shall indulge my selfish ( Read more... )

Comments 31

loonylupinlover January 26 2009, 05:47:05 UTC

I don't have any advice... I don't really know anything when it comes to obtaining health insurance from a spot like yours, or anything about the condition. But I wanted you to know that I heard you, and I'm sorry for what you're going through right now, and I am sending you a hug and also any form of prayer/positive thoughts you'd like right now. *hugs* I wish I had something to suggest to help you, but in lieu of that, just know that there are people seeing this and thinking of you right now and hoping all the best for you.

*more hugs*

upstart_crow January 26 2009, 05:58:08 UTC

Oh my God. I'm so sorry to hear this. I wish I could do something for you other than offering internet hugs. *hugs*

walesnightingal January 26 2009, 06:30:45 UTC

oh my god.
how did they diagnose this? just by symptoms and a blood test? frankly, that doesn't sound like enough to make such a serious diagnosis. and if it's not an official diagnosis, you can still get insurance.
I think you should do is go see a regular doctor-not one of those hasty ER ones. they make mistakes all the time.
you'll make it through this.

walesnightingal January 26 2009, 06:33:19 UTC

also, have you just tried one questionaire? maybe another insurance application would not ask that particular question. try BlueCross BlueShield, if you haven't yet.

walesnightingal January 26 2009, 06:33:32 UTC

or you could move to Canada. right now.

kelsietrpt January 26 2009, 06:36:09 UTC

Blue Cross/Blue Shield had, by far, the most lenient questionnaire, and that was the one wanting to know if I'd sought medical help in the past 60 days.

The MRI clearly showed Chiari malformation. It's not a disease (in that cancer or AIDS or syphillis are diseases) so much as it is a disorder. Blood work was completely fine, because Chiari doesn't affect your chemistry. The ONLY way to truly diagnose Chiari is via an MRI, and it was right there on mine. The only question is HOW far into my spinal column is my brain protruding. That's what I intend on finding out tomorrow. If it looks serious, I'm finding myself a doctor who actually knows what the damnable disorder is.

Thread 8

wtfisjohn January 26 2009, 06:34:15 UTC

honestly? go to the doctor, get the operation, don't worry about health insurance, save your life, sit in your bed for a while, then file chapter 7. it'll fuck your credit for 10 years, but you'll be alive and well. I'd say try and wait the 60 days, but if it gets worse at all, just go. you can't technically lose your job (there's laws in place to protect you for up to a certain period) Also, did i miss something, aren't you employed at the local college still? don't they offer insurance? if you get insurance through a corporation (such as the college) you cannot be denied because of pre-existing conditions. only if you get insurance yourself can you be denied a pre-existing condition. i've been learning up on this stuff as i slowly run out of time on parent's plan. Go to HR at the college (there SHOULD be one, somewhere) and ask around. i'm 85% sure i'm right on this, but, it could just be in the state of NJ that you can't be denied a pre-existing. in which case, you should be able to get the insurance regardless through the college ( ... )

sandokai January 26 2009, 11:55:45 UTC

A lot of adjuncts aren't covered by insurance nor eligible for insurance. I adjunct at 2 colleges in Pennsylvania and can't get insurance from either of them.

I agree that she should try to get the operation though. I don't think hospitals just give it to people though-- sometimes they make you come up with he money upfront.

wtfisjohn January 26 2009, 17:02:36 UTC

really? i work as an adjunct in NYC and we're definitely covered. and, there are funds available in hospitals to help those without insurance. If you show up to the ER and NEED the operation, they HAVE to do it, technically. hippopotamus oath and all that jazz...worst case is they transfer you to a different hospital, but it'll still happen

and i'm really surprised you're not covered as an adjunct. I know almost all NY and NJ schools adjuncts are. you should check, cause even part-time workers in corporations are available for benefits. and if there is any union present at all, then you should file a complaint and get adjuncts covered. after all, you're a worker too, why should part-time janitors get coverage but not you?

sandokai January 26 2009, 17:49:23 UTC

No, in PA we're not. We're not even allowed in the college's teacher union. We could form our own union, but it's hard when teachers zip in an dout to teach for 1 or 2 hours a day and commute from all over.

It makes me really mad that we're not allowed in the union. Seems to go against the whole point of unions.

A bad thing about being covered, though, is they'll often cut people down to only 1 class so that they don't have to give you health insurance. I believe SUNY is doing that this semester-- if you teach 2 you're supposed to be eligible for health insurance, so they cut everyone down to 1. So I don't know what people are supposed to do about that either.

Thread 5

autumnthing January 26 2009, 06:53:00 UTC

I'm sending you magic. I think that, to a point, I agree with wtfisjohn; that you must do what you need to do for your health and well-being.

The thing I feel I can speak for most is where you started to verbally hurt yourself for "creating this disaster for [yourself]". I am uninsured, too. I'm a fucking parent, someone else's immediate caregiver, and I'm not doing so stellar at even taking care of myself. The thing is, thinking about it that way isn't going to make it better.

Please, be gentle with yourself. That way, as you keep getting tossed these difficult decisions [lose the house vs. lose my life?],you will be able to actually hear your intuition. As long as you love and listen, you'll be able to navigate beyond this heinous stretch.

Other than that, I will continue to send you magic until you get better. And yes, I will even summon the courage to offer you internet hugs; please don't hate me.

*hugs*

Oh, yes, and you are an amazing, lovely creature and I do think you were meant to fly... even if you are in Kentucky ( ... )