heroes: moving (4/7)

[keldjinfae_moon]

Title: "Empty Walls"
Author: kel_fish
Fandom: Heroes
Characters: Angela, Peter
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Heroes belongs to NBC, Kring, and others who aren't I.
Author's note: Written for the mission_insane prompt, "Dust Bunnies." This is the fourth part of the Moving series. Many, many, many thanks to thepansythug, oh_mcgee, and bigfiction, because this part was kicking my ass, yo. Like, for serious.

Comments

[thepansythug]

You nailed Angela. You know how much I love that heels clicking up the stairs moment, but it bears repeating. The last paragraph is also just right -- he's gone from worried about her opinion to determined to butch up about it, and it's completely believable. I think it's a fine place to end this section. And this:

He began to back up slowly, taking in every last inch of his old room even as it seemed to be telling him to leave; his nostalgia was no longer welcome-he didn’t belong there anymore.

evokes the sense of moving very well. This series is so easy to get immersed in, excellent work.

[keldjinfae_moon]

You nailed Angela.

You know how happy this makes me. Even with the headache that is threatening to send my right I shooting out of its socket.

You know how much I love that heels clicking up the stairs moment, but it bears repeating.

That's Angela walking all over you, leaving puncture marks.

The last paragraph is also just right... I think it's a fine place to end this section

*cries in relief, then goes to hunt down some damn Motrin*

[fabrisse]

I look forward to seeing where this is heading. The small character moments are well done.

[keldjinfae_moon]

Thank you! As long as I don't let you down...

[drunkncozb]

Yay Angela! I love her little moments of passive-aggression. She is definitely a Satan Mom. This felt very her and makes me crave even more Angela moments. I guess it will be a while until I get some more though. stupid strike making me miss my Heroes

Oh, and of course you nailed Peter, but you always nail Peter (dirty!) so I'm just going to stop telling you that.

[keldjinfae_moon]

I love her little moments of passive-aggression. She is definitely a Satan Mom.

Who doesn't?! Certainly not me! And she certainly trumps all other Satan Moms, fo sho, 'cause her cookies kill!

This felt very her and makes me crave even more Angela moments.

*squiggles* Yay!

stupid strike making me miss my Heroes.

Indeed. And thanks again!

[bettareader]

Ohh, you nailed it on Angela's voice. And you were worried you wouldn't be able to. This shows you know how to do it. Nicely done!

As drunkncozb said, you always get Peter down. So, I too will stop telling you that.

Very curious to see where this is going...so please update soon?! kk? Pwease? Thanks! ^^

[keldjinfae_moon]

This shows you know how to do it.

This shows I know how to stumble upon it at three in the morning whilst eating Nutella and Ferrero Rocher, and drinking Vault and Mountain Dew.

Very curious to see where this is going...so please update soon?!

*laughs. No seriously, look; you heard it. When I was like, "Heh. Ha hahah!" That was it*

[bettareader]

That was it*

So that's what that was.

[keldjinfae_moon]

Yeah. That was it. And that's it, baby! *points and drools at icon* I can't believe neoshadow1986 made that for us. *squiggles*

[mystery_sock]

Oh, Petrellis. They twist each other like paperclips.

This is a particularly good image:
She reached out and patted Peter’s cheek, almost hard enough to sting

Yes, exactly.

I love this.

[keldjinfae_moon]

Sexy, redhot paperclips. I'd like a box of those in my desk drawer, please.

I loved writing that particular part. That and the bit about her heels, because every time she walks, I imagine that her heels are digging into people's souls.

I'm glad you loved it. Especially since this was the hardest part of the series to write, by far. Just the thought of writing Angela frickin' terrifies me. I had to take awhile just to get my mind to calm down for the very first sentence because I knew Angela would be in it.