Bible Study in Plain Language: Matthew 22:15-22
15 Then the bigots went out and laid plans to trap Jesus in his words. 16 They sent their Bible Study mavins to him along with the 700 Club members:
"Teacher," they said, "you have some rock hard cajones, and we respect that. Moreover, you aren't swayed by humans, because social status doesn't seem to matter to you, just God's Honest Truth. 17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Should Pennsylvania allow gay marriage?"
18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "Bitches! Why you trying to trap me? 19 Show me your marriage license." They brought him a copy, 20 and Jesus asked them, "Whose seal is this? And whose inscription?"
21 "Uh ... someone called the 'Registrar of Wills'," they replied. Then Jesus said unto them, "Then render to the Registrar of Wills what is hers, and render to God what is God's."
22 When they heard this, they were confused, and their jaws hangged open, and they scratched their heads, so he clarified things a bit, saying. "Don't you remember hearing something right after the 'I do' part where your officiant said, 'By the authority vested in me by God and by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania...'?"
"... Vaguely," they replied. "Well, then. That's clear as Zima on ice: The authorities are different. Pennsylvania can neither prohibit nor allow marriage of any kind; only God can. Now, what they CAN do is create Civil Unions, just like the one you've got there in your hand."
"But, this is a 'marriage license'," they protested. "It's just for straight couples."
"Suuuuuuuure it is. You keep right on thinking that, you hippocrit heterosexist. End of lesson. Now, I'm thirsty. Crack me a brew, Pete."
"Teacher," they said, "you have some rock hard cajones, and we respect that. Moreover, you aren't swayed by humans, because social status doesn't seem to matter to you, just God's Honest Truth. 17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Should Pennsylvania allow gay marriage?"
18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "Bitches! Why you trying to trap me? 19 Show me your marriage license." They brought him a copy, 20 and Jesus asked them, "Whose seal is this? And whose inscription?"
21 "Uh ... someone called the 'Registrar of Wills'," they replied. Then Jesus said unto them, "Then render to the Registrar of Wills what is hers, and render to God what is God's."
22 When they heard this, they were confused, and their jaws hangged open, and they scratched their heads, so he clarified things a bit, saying. "Don't you remember hearing something right after the 'I do' part where your officiant said, 'By the authority vested in me by God and by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania...'?"
"... Vaguely," they replied. "Well, then. That's clear as Zima on ice: The authorities are different. Pennsylvania can neither prohibit nor allow marriage of any kind; only God can. Now, what they CAN do is create Civil Unions, just like the one you've got there in your hand."
"But, this is a 'marriage license'," they protested. "It's just for straight couples."
"Suuuuuuuure it is. You keep right on thinking that, you hippocrit heterosexist. End of lesson. Now, I'm thirsty. Crack me a brew, Pete."