Retrospectively Sad

[kazoogrrl]

A discussion over at clevermanka's LJ led to me mentioning that my mom did the Nutrisystem diet thing for a while in the 1980s. I'm not sure if she lost any weight when she did it. Maybe, I can't see how you'd want to eat if your meals were made up of that crap. I remember eating the little bits of freeze dried BBQ chicken from one of the meals, like it was

Comments

[marinatempest]

Ugh. My mom did Nutrisystem also. I don't remember her eating any actual food, though I'm sure she must have. She had a shake for breakfast and also somehow baked the shake stuff into "brownies." My mom also has always felt bad about her body because her mom was always critical of her. Fortunately, I was shielded from a lot of that growing up because my mom did not want me to feel the same way. I remember once I was cleaning out my closet ... I was probably 12 or so, and my grandmother (who lived with us) was keeping me company. I tried on some shorts and they didn't fit anymore. My grandmother said something about how I might have to go on a diet or I should watch out or I'll get too big. I wasn't at risk of getting fat (and even if I was, so what?!), I was STILL GROWING. I still got very upset and I'm sure my mom said something to her about it because nothing like that ever happened again. But nothing ever stopped my grandmother from tearing into my mom, and years later, she's still unhappy, though in every respect she's

[kazoogrrl]

I think my dad said something to me once and I gave him hell. I know he was saying it out of concern but still! No!

[mizmarti]

This is me giving you a hug and telling you you're perfect. I know exactly what you mean and GOD I wish there were some magic to make them see these things for themselves.

I cry those same tears for my mom. I get angry at her, for her. (And sometimes for me.) She was a knockout all along--a perfect hourglass when hourglass figures ruled--and at 89 she still doesn't know it. She still insists on girdles and painful industrial-strength bras and loathes the shape we were born into: imagine the stereotypical Italian babe actively envying her Japanese friends who "are slim like boys" and "weigh 89 pounds soaking wet." It frustrates the holy living hell out of me.

I don't have a solution but I'm right there with you, my friend. Maybe all we can really do is commit to inhabiting our own bodies openly and unapologetically, with joy and pride, and encourage others to do the same.

XO

[kazoogrrl]

My mom decided years ago to eschew any clothing she finds uncomfortable, so at least she's not torturing herself with that.

Maybe all we can really do is commit to inhabiting our own bodies openly and unapologetically, with joy and pride, and encourage others to do the same.

I think that is about the only solution.

[clevermanka]

I went over to the Nutrisystem website to check out what it's like now and was reading some of the food options and I got so mad I started crying because people eat this total crap because they want to change themselves and I feel so terrible for them and I can't believe that someone is making money off of the whole dirty business.

THIS. Makes me so angry.

[kazoogrrl]

I know talented, productive, creative, positive, life affirming people who are scraping and scrimping and worrying about money, and the fact that someone is probably getting rich from people feeling bad about themselves, while also convincing these same people to spend money on fake food just . . . .

[clevermanka]

YEP

[examorata]

I remember my aunt did Nutrisystem in the '80s. My mother's always been pretty slender but my aunt tortured herself, and it made me sad then (in a way I didn't understand) and it makes me sad now. You are so right - I wish we could reach in and change the way our loved ones perceive themselves. It's so hard, but it's a change that only comes from inside. I hope, really hope, that we are making steps in the right direction. (The fact that Nutrisystem still exists doesn't make me too hopeful, though.)

[kazoogrrl]

As I was reading the site all I could think was, "And people think I'm crazy for trying the paleo/primal thing. At least I'm eating real food!"

[wasabi_poptart]

Dude, not only did my mom do Nutrisystem, she also signed *me* up for it as well ... I was maybe 13 or 14? So many things wrong with that. Sure I was a chubby kid, but I certainly didn't need to be put a diet, much less that unhealthy crap-food diet that didn't work anyway.

But I really can't be too angry at my mom for fat-shaming me, considering the hell her own mother put her through.

[kazoogrrl]

Sometimes I wonder if an unconscious part of me deciding to not have kids was to avoid putting them through crazy emotional crap.