It isn't wrong, but still it isn't right

[katznhund]

Title: It isn't wrong, but still it isn't right
Word Count: 539
Characters: Anders/F!Hawke, previous Fenris/F!Hawke
Summary: Anders contemplates what his relationship with Hawke has become.

Comments

[firstblush]

I really really like this. It's heartbreaking and lovely and well done. Just the stand out moments being, "Anders can’t pin point when the words became nothing more than a hollow litany between them" and just the whole section about her saying Fenris' name. And the stark "it was a lie." And "Anders will be relegated to a footnote in their romance." Okay, stopping now. But really, I love the emotion behind this. <333

[katznhund]

Thank you :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[arysani]

It is her small way of trying to help her friend, the man she loved.

This is how I imagine it too - watching him become something else and still trying to hang on, but knowing he's not the man she fell in love with, and that anymore he's just someone she cares about taking up space that she can't let go of; can't STOP loving or caring about even though there's nothing left of them.

And writing it from his POV, that he knows what's going on and that he still has feelings for her in some way...heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time.

[katznhund]

I imagine Hawke is afraid of what would happen to him if the small bit of stability she provides was suddenly gone. They still care for each other but neither have illusions about the way things have disintegrated, even if they don't talk about it.

Glad you liked it.

[tersa]

The feeling that they care for one another but are going through the motions of the relationship makes my heart break.

[katznhund]

That is exactly how I would have describe things between them. There are still some feelings there but really they just going through the motions and neither really wants to admit how things are.

It seems like too likely a scenario for Anders' arch, especially with a non-mage Hawke who isn't as invested in in his fight.