The Dork Legacy 7.10 (that's not even a real fraction!)
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
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Last time, we ended with Henry sexily raking leaves like the sexy rake he is. At the beginning of this update, he still has not donned clothing, and is looking for a lover other than the rake pole.
Henry: Look, I need more fine ladies.
YOU'VE SEEN BETTER? BITCH I GAVE YOU $3000!
And we got...a tree. With arms.
Just kidding! This is Dot Chambers, who was made for a founder challenge by simpathee!
Henry: Nice to meet you!
Dot: Nice to meet you, too! *star*
Dot: Your superman pose is totally hot!
Henry: Thanks! Want to see my Sean Connery impression?
Dot: Uh, pass.
Yeah, they get along great. >.>
Henry: Bitch! He was THE James Bond!
Dot: Sorry, dude, all I can picture is Indiana Jones' dad.
I...might need that face in my legacy.
Meant to be? y/n?
It was time for Desperate Measures.
Works every time.
I know we can't tie you down, Romeo. But, uh, maybe you want to focus on one girl at a time?
He asked if she wanted to dance.
Dot: Yeah, you know, you're right. I think I'd be a great dancer. Let's do it.
I don't think he thinks she is a great dancer.
She doesn't exactly seem riveted to their date herself.
YES YOU.
Henry: So, I was thinking we could do a little of this... *hand motion*
Henry: And maybe a little of this...
Henry: And top it off with some of this...mmm...oh yeah...I like that.
His homoerotic hand gestures have Dot's rapt attention.
Every girl wants a guy who would suck another guy's hoohah, right?
Oh yeah, and school was happening, as well.
Soon it was time for the woohoo section of their date.
And Harker's, as well.
This one just made me lol.
Henry met this lovely lady, with whom he had significant attraction. They wasted no time.
Dot: Hey Henry, I was wondering if you -
Henry: If I what?
Dot: 8O
Dot: So, uh, yeah. Can I join?
Dot: Guys?
Dot: Eh, nevermind.
Mina is obviously shocked at her good grades.
I believe it's time to subject you to some Harker spam:
Harker: Heh. Heh.
To punctuate the spam, here is a shot of my spam mail folder, containing my favourite spam email ever.
With two Minas, you can screw your boyfriend...
Without screwing your GPA!
So. Jealous.
Raise your hand if you don't wanna be that guy!
(All the ladies in the club put your hands up!
All the fellas in the club put your hands up!
Now whoever said we're whack put your hand up!
Now everybody else put your hands down!)
Jaiden is obviously on Cloud 9 here.
So he decides to convert to Mormonism!
Mina: OMG really? I thought for sure you were going to propose to Mina 2!
Mina: We're gonna make you so happy!
Jaiden: I know. :)
Mina 2: Oh, are we engaged, now? Sweet.
Sadly for Jaiden's dreams of double-wife action, I chose this time to move them to their new custom dorm, and alas, Mina was singular again.
I did double-check, just in case I'd missed one of them.
For those of you who didn't see this when I posted it earlier; the Littleton Dorms! I built it myself. XD
Jaiden immediately runs off to recite poetry to no one.
Jaiden: And two once again became one.
And now.
I miss half of you.
And because I apparently forgot to turn off my screenshot program, here's some screenshots from Guild Wars! That's some awesome headmistress chick.
And this is my ~necromancer~. Ranger is my main though.
You guys totally wish I'd stop going on tangents, huh?
WELL FINE THEN. HERE'S A STUPID MAKEOVER PICTURE. Mina still isn't good at those.
But she's persistent, gotta give her that. This is Polona. I kind of love her.
TRY AGAIN.
Polona is understandably skeptical.
But success is finally had!
~lovely~
Look! She matches her surroundings! That means she's one of US.
And by one of us, I mean one of...the Dorks. A family of which I am not part. *cough*
Maudie was pretty awesome, but she needed eyebrows.
Attempt #1 didn't go so well.
...Neither did #2.
Third time's the charm, though!
Henry: Are you done yet? I was going to hit on you.
Adeleine (or something similar): *thump*
Adelaide: *blerk hurp*
Henry: That's...uh...kinda gross. Not that I'm bothered overmuch.
ADELINE, that was it.
Boring roses dates flirting whatever.
Adeline: Sorry, not interested.
Adeline: Oooh, a rose? For me?!
Should this really work twice in a row?
Athena Barton and Harker had a drinking contest!
I'm not sure who won.
I apparently neglected to put an alien face replacement in my downloads folder. Whatevs!
Henry: Oooh, a genie.
Genie: HAHAHAH COLLEGE!
Henry: Can you make me purple like you?!
Genie: HAHAHA! NO! I can grant only three wishes! Here, have sex appeal! (subtle red dwarf reference is subtle)
Henry: Am I...a vampire now?!
No.
Henry: But I'm sparkling!
Henry: Did this beauty thingamajig work?
Henry: Oooh, yes! Why yes it did!
Henry: Mmm, I am delicious.
Henry: Polona, would you like to marry me?
Polona: Well, I don't really know what to do with my life...
Henry: Splendid! How about a fall wedding?
She's so cute! I'm not sure whether I want her, now, or Dot. D:
Or, yanno, this chick?
Mina continues her glitchiness. Or, possibly her studiousness. She never came home from class.
Eventually managed to force an error on her and get her back to the lot. Only one of her, sadly. :(
Who's this one, again?
Oh, it's Adeline.
*would hit it*
Henry: *has been hit*
Awww.
Adeline: Henry, I l-
Henry: Whoa, that sounded like the L word! Gotta go! *zoom*
RedHead: I'd love to lose my virginity to you!
RedHead: But not while on a date.
RedHead: Now go out there and BE SOMEBODY.
Polona and Henry finally made it to bed. Polona has a nipple growing out of her hair! Hot!
And Henry has a final exam. XD
On his way out, I sent him to tell the doorbell-ringing chick to GTFO. He...uh...did.
When he arrived home, he was greeted by his favourite thing: redheads!
Sorry, I meant his second favourite thing.
Henry: Hold up a second...
Henry: Hmm, yes, still devilishly handsome...
Skankalicious: Still waiting...
Eventually she left. He didn't notice.
Zombie streaker! Also, please note three bolts with all redheads.
Moar ~flowers~.
Wow, he and this girl really get on, don't they?
Not that getting along counts for much.
Uh, Jaiden, if you're sharing a bed with him, I'm gonna consider you guys friends all ready. >.>
OKAY, I SO DID NOT ASK YOU TO SLEEP THERE. Bitch.
Thank you, Henry.
But...make that seven. XD
Note the *line* of women waiting to interact with him.
Nevertheless, fresh meat is required.
Henry: I think I deserve a new girlfriend!
A NEW GIRLFRIEND WITH ONLY THE AWESOMEST NAME TO EVER AWESOME!
And she's a cutie, to boot! Choosing a spouse is gonna be tough. D:
God, this is so cheating.
STOP WHINING AND PUT IT IN.
Thank you.
And, finally, Mina's glitching got so bad that I gave up.
I had Jaiden move out, taking Mina with him.
She had the decency to show up, though.
Goodbye, you two. If I can fanagle it, I will move you out of college and have you some babies. <3 Otherwise, enjoy your immortal young lives together!
That is also the end of today's update! I'm glad I managed to get one out this week. XD Now I can play again! Yay! So, I am now thinking I probably won't double heir. I might have an official heir poll, but I might not. Do you guys prefer Henry or Harker? And, if I do go with Henry (which is likely), which potential spouse do you like best thus far?
I like the input. XD And, we'll see you next week!