There's a site that generates random "facts" that are best known as Chuck Norris jokes. For kicks I entered in "my goldfish" as the name to use, and it returned this:
My goldfish sleeps with his eyes open.
Well, duh! They're fish, they have no eyelids! LMAO!
I was also amused by:
My goldfish is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
and
My goldfish
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"Think of a hot woman. Katiescarlet did her."
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