First and foremost, I want to wish my friend Mike the happiest of birthdays today! :) I would sing happy birthday to you, but I don't want to make your old ears bleed ;)

Now, on to the meat of my musings here today...

Tomorrow, I hop on a train heading for Chicago. Once there, I am willingly submitting myself into the care of a surgeon who will, I ( Read more... )

Tonight I sat reading the blogs of several cis women friends, acquaintances and even strangers, reading snippets about their current concerns, worries, woes and joys - the bits that make up their very lives. Despite these women being peppered across the spectrum, there was a commonality amongst them that made them intertwined in life. Looking long ( Read more... )

364 days ago, I sat in the parking lot of Walmart, ripping open that little paper bag they put your prescriptions in; I pulled out a bottle filled with little oval blue-green pills, and with my hands shaking, I opened it and slipped one under my tongue. I sat there for twenty minutes, as the pill was slowly dissolving, shaking and crying; for the ( Read more... )

Sometimes a piece of music can hit you just right, that causes images to form before your very eyes - even against your will. Sometimes those images need to find life, and you need to let them out however you can... This is one such event. Far from complete (and I doubt it will ever get that way) I am just tossing this out there for general ( Read more... )

So I got to thinking I really should expound a bit more than just that last posting.

I have recently crossed the 180 day mark for HRT - six whole months - and numerous changes have occurred, some I can see; other changes people tell me that they see.

( Explanations, blather and repentance. )

I have tried to explain on numerous occasions what this is like; what I go through day in and day out; what I have gone through for the past 34 years of my life. Every time I hear someone say to me "But you chose to do this," I just want to let out that scream that goes through my mind.

( This... )

So I realized it has been forever, well quite a while that is, since I last wrote something on here. This has been an interesting few months - I passed my 90 day mark on HRT, and things are coming along slowly; the people who know me around here - for the most part - know now what I am going through and have been supportive as best as they can; I ( Read more... )

It is now day seven of HRT for me, and the doldrums are setting in while I am sitting here looking at my daily photo. I have been taking daily photos to eventually look back and see the changes as they progressed - but I can't help looking at them thinking nothing is ever going to change. I know that when it comes to HRT, patience is our ( Read more... )

At 6:17 PM tonight, I took my first dose of Estrogen, Progesterone and Proscar. This is the first time I have taken female hormones prescribed to me and specifically for my gender transition.

Not much else to say right this second…I am just kind of lost in thought, and I will post more tomorrow.

Night all!


( Read more... )

It seems that it has been a few days since I last wrote an entry, though time is subjective and to it has passed - quite paradoxically - both dragging by quite slowly on and passing by in just a flash. The mundane things of life, the day-to-day routine, seem to have meshed back into a ritualistic blur which makes it hard to pick out any one ( Read more... )