Pink
Title: Pink
Rating: G
Verse: G1 (Magical!bots AU)
Warnings: Crack. Lots and lots of crack.
“Why are we out here on this Primus-forsaken chunk of slag again?”
Starscream cycled an exasperated sigh through his vents. “Because,” he told Skywarp testily, “We detected energy-readings similar to those ridiculous upgrades a few of the Autoscum are sporting. Our great and illustrious Leader wants the power those upgrades grant for himself, so we’re looking in to it.”
“It’s almost pretty from here.” Thundercracker mused.
“What is?” Skywarp glanced around the moonscape. “All I see is rocks, rocks, and more rocks.”
“The Earth, dumbaft.” Thundercracker retorted.
“It’s a planet.” Starscream said dismissively. “Like thousands of others out there. Now are we going to get on with this, or are we going to stand around gawking like ground-bound glitches?” He transformed and jetted off in the direction of the highest readings. Thundercracker and Skywarp exchanged commiserating looks, and followed after.
Starscream wouldn’t admit out loud that he, too, had once found the Earth pretty from space. But that was a lifetime ago.
The humans called this plain Mare Tranquillitatis, or the Sea of Tranquility. Well, Starscream supposed ungraciously, they got the ‘Tranquil’ part right, at least. The basalt plains were as silent as death. They were some distance from any of the humans’ landing points; it seemed the energy readings were coming from the exact center of the basin.
“Are we there yet?” Skywarp whined. Thundercracker slapped him upside his helm.
“Almost.” Starscream said distractedly. The readings were suddenly screaming at him, and he searched the moonscape for anything that seemed out of the ordinary.
“Well?” Thundercracker asked as Starscream came to a stop.
“It’s coming from this point.” Starscream replied. He scowled as he glanced around the near barren moonscape. The only thing in the area was a couple of large pieces of basalt tumbled haphazardly on the ground.
“There’s nothing but a pile of rocks here.” Skywarp said, and kicked the rocks in illustration. Starscream’s readings suddenly skyrocketed, and a pillar of light erupted from the midst of the pile.
The seekers backed away from the light, weapons up and trained on it immediately. “Who’s there? Show yourself!” Starscream demanded.
The figure that emerged looked very much like a human female, but even smaller than the ones they had come across on Earth. She was only about six inches in size, but with a fully adult body. She also didn’t seem to have any issues existing within the thin to non-existent atmosphere of the Moon.
But the really surreal part would have to be the delicate butterfly wings extending from her back, fluttering gently and somehow keeping her aloft. Since when are there tiny humans capable of flight? Starscream wondered somewhat hysterically.
“Greetings.” The tiny woman said, spreading her hands before her. “I have been waiting for you.”
Starscream kept his null ray on her. “Who are you? Why have you been waiting for us?” She smiled without a trace of fear. Idiot. Starscream scoffed to himself.
“I am the Guardian of this system.” The woman replied serenely. “I have been waiting for you, as your coming has been foreordained.”
Skywarp choked on a laugh, and Thundercracker elbowed him with a hiss. Starscream ignored them. “Foreordained? I don’t believe in such nonsense.”
“There is a great evil approaching.” Obviously, she didn’t care much what he believed. “Will you be ready for it?”
“What kind of evil?” Thundercracker asked despite himself.
“Greater than anything the universe has ever seen.” The woman replied solemnly.
Starscream snorted. “Right. Well then, how would you suggest we ‘prepare’ for it?” He sneered.
“Yeah, and what makes you think we care?” Skywarp piped up. “We follow the great Mega-” Starscream kicked him in the thrusters, and Skywarp shut up with a pout.
The woman merely smiled. “I have been waiting here, for you.” She said. “To give you a gift, to aid you.”
And then there was light.
“We return triumphant, oh great and glorious Megatron!”
Megatron eyed his Seekers somewhat dubiously. “I see that, Starscream.” He replied. “Those upgrades look as ridiculous on you as they do on the Autobots.”
“Who cares what they look like, so long as they do the job?” Starscream retorted. He wasn’t incredibly pleased with his new appearance (the pink and white skirts kept hiking up his aft, and it was a pain to fly in, never mind those ridiculous bows) but he certainly wasn’t going to admit anything other than satisfaction to Megatron.
Skywarp seemed to actually like his upgrade, the glitch. He kept twisting his hip plates back and forth, watching the purple and gold skirts flutter and flirt in the breeze. Thundercracker, on the other hand, kept trying to tug his red and gold skirts down, and looked quite embarrassed.
“Rejoice then, Starscream,” Megatron said silkily, “for you will soon get the chance to prove that your new…upgrade…is worth the humiliation.” Starscream bristled, but Megatron had already turned his attention to his waiting troops. “Decepticons, transform and rise up!”
The Autobots had been, at first, completely overwhelmed by the appearance of the upgraded Seekers, Soundwave noted in the midst of the battle. They rallied quickly, but the first few crucial moments while they gawked at the vibrantly skirted Seekers had cost them dearly.
“Thundercracker!” Megatron ordered, “Use your upgrade against the Autobots!”
Thundercracker shuttered his optics briefly, before stretching out a hand towards the handful of Autobots attempting to guard the lab-coated squishies and their machines. “Star Sonic Wall!”
“Thundercracker! What do you think you’re doing?”
“It’s not my fault!” Thundercracker insisted. The force field that had manifested as his upgrade stood strong against his attempts to bring it down, shielding the humans and their equipment (and their Autobot allies) within. “It wasn’t supposed to keep us out, I swear!” He kicked at the shield, but that just seemed to make it stronger.
Starscream sneered. “Fool,” he said haughtily, “You do it like this.” He aimed his upgraded weapon at the shield and fired. A stream of pink energy burst from the modified gun and raced towards the shield.
Soundwave paused briefly in his assault on the Autobots. Were those stylized hearts in the beam?
The workers within ducked for cover, the Autobots - the mini red one with the loud mouth and the especially human-loving yellow one, Soundwave noted briefly - shielding them with their own frames. They needn’t have bothered. The bright pink beam bounced off of the shield and raced off at an angle - straight for Megatron. It impacted against the surprised Decepticon leader with a resounding boom.
For a moment, there was silence. Then: “STARSCREAM!”
“So,” Jazz said conversationally, watching the Decepticon warlord, painted liberally with pink sparkles and heart marks, chase his skirted Second around the battlefield, “does this mean ‘Screamer and the others are part of our team now?”
Prowl glared at him. “Don’t even joke like that.”
Rating: G
Verse: G1 (Magical!bots AU)
Warnings: Crack. Lots and lots of crack.
“Why are we out here on this Primus-forsaken chunk of slag again?”
Starscream cycled an exasperated sigh through his vents. “Because,” he told Skywarp testily, “We detected energy-readings similar to those ridiculous upgrades a few of the Autoscum are sporting. Our great and illustrious Leader wants the power those upgrades grant for himself, so we’re looking in to it.”
“It’s almost pretty from here.” Thundercracker mused.
“What is?” Skywarp glanced around the moonscape. “All I see is rocks, rocks, and more rocks.”
“The Earth, dumbaft.” Thundercracker retorted.
“It’s a planet.” Starscream said dismissively. “Like thousands of others out there. Now are we going to get on with this, or are we going to stand around gawking like ground-bound glitches?” He transformed and jetted off in the direction of the highest readings. Thundercracker and Skywarp exchanged commiserating looks, and followed after.
Starscream wouldn’t admit out loud that he, too, had once found the Earth pretty from space. But that was a lifetime ago.
The humans called this plain Mare Tranquillitatis, or the Sea of Tranquility. Well, Starscream supposed ungraciously, they got the ‘Tranquil’ part right, at least. The basalt plains were as silent as death. They were some distance from any of the humans’ landing points; it seemed the energy readings were coming from the exact center of the basin.
“Are we there yet?” Skywarp whined. Thundercracker slapped him upside his helm.
“Almost.” Starscream said distractedly. The readings were suddenly screaming at him, and he searched the moonscape for anything that seemed out of the ordinary.
“Well?” Thundercracker asked as Starscream came to a stop.
“It’s coming from this point.” Starscream replied. He scowled as he glanced around the near barren moonscape. The only thing in the area was a couple of large pieces of basalt tumbled haphazardly on the ground.
“There’s nothing but a pile of rocks here.” Skywarp said, and kicked the rocks in illustration. Starscream’s readings suddenly skyrocketed, and a pillar of light erupted from the midst of the pile.
The seekers backed away from the light, weapons up and trained on it immediately. “Who’s there? Show yourself!” Starscream demanded.
The figure that emerged looked very much like a human female, but even smaller than the ones they had come across on Earth. She was only about six inches in size, but with a fully adult body. She also didn’t seem to have any issues existing within the thin to non-existent atmosphere of the Moon.
But the really surreal part would have to be the delicate butterfly wings extending from her back, fluttering gently and somehow keeping her aloft. Since when are there tiny humans capable of flight? Starscream wondered somewhat hysterically.
“Greetings.” The tiny woman said, spreading her hands before her. “I have been waiting for you.”
Starscream kept his null ray on her. “Who are you? Why have you been waiting for us?” She smiled without a trace of fear. Idiot. Starscream scoffed to himself.
“I am the Guardian of this system.” The woman replied serenely. “I have been waiting for you, as your coming has been foreordained.”
Skywarp choked on a laugh, and Thundercracker elbowed him with a hiss. Starscream ignored them. “Foreordained? I don’t believe in such nonsense.”
“There is a great evil approaching.” Obviously, she didn’t care much what he believed. “Will you be ready for it?”
“What kind of evil?” Thundercracker asked despite himself.
“Greater than anything the universe has ever seen.” The woman replied solemnly.
Starscream snorted. “Right. Well then, how would you suggest we ‘prepare’ for it?” He sneered.
“Yeah, and what makes you think we care?” Skywarp piped up. “We follow the great Mega-” Starscream kicked him in the thrusters, and Skywarp shut up with a pout.
The woman merely smiled. “I have been waiting here, for you.” She said. “To give you a gift, to aid you.”
And then there was light.
“We return triumphant, oh great and glorious Megatron!”
Megatron eyed his Seekers somewhat dubiously. “I see that, Starscream.” He replied. “Those upgrades look as ridiculous on you as they do on the Autobots.”
“Who cares what they look like, so long as they do the job?” Starscream retorted. He wasn’t incredibly pleased with his new appearance (the pink and white skirts kept hiking up his aft, and it was a pain to fly in, never mind those ridiculous bows) but he certainly wasn’t going to admit anything other than satisfaction to Megatron.
Skywarp seemed to actually like his upgrade, the glitch. He kept twisting his hip plates back and forth, watching the purple and gold skirts flutter and flirt in the breeze. Thundercracker, on the other hand, kept trying to tug his red and gold skirts down, and looked quite embarrassed.
“Rejoice then, Starscream,” Megatron said silkily, “for you will soon get the chance to prove that your new…upgrade…is worth the humiliation.” Starscream bristled, but Megatron had already turned his attention to his waiting troops. “Decepticons, transform and rise up!”
The Autobots had been, at first, completely overwhelmed by the appearance of the upgraded Seekers, Soundwave noted in the midst of the battle. They rallied quickly, but the first few crucial moments while they gawked at the vibrantly skirted Seekers had cost them dearly.
“Thundercracker!” Megatron ordered, “Use your upgrade against the Autobots!”
Thundercracker shuttered his optics briefly, before stretching out a hand towards the handful of Autobots attempting to guard the lab-coated squishies and their machines. “Star Sonic Wall!”
“Thundercracker! What do you think you’re doing?”
“It’s not my fault!” Thundercracker insisted. The force field that had manifested as his upgrade stood strong against his attempts to bring it down, shielding the humans and their equipment (and their Autobot allies) within. “It wasn’t supposed to keep us out, I swear!” He kicked at the shield, but that just seemed to make it stronger.
Starscream sneered. “Fool,” he said haughtily, “You do it like this.” He aimed his upgraded weapon at the shield and fired. A stream of pink energy burst from the modified gun and raced towards the shield.
Soundwave paused briefly in his assault on the Autobots. Were those stylized hearts in the beam?
The workers within ducked for cover, the Autobots - the mini red one with the loud mouth and the especially human-loving yellow one, Soundwave noted briefly - shielding them with their own frames. They needn’t have bothered. The bright pink beam bounced off of the shield and raced off at an angle - straight for Megatron. It impacted against the surprised Decepticon leader with a resounding boom.
For a moment, there was silence. Then: “STARSCREAM!”
“So,” Jazz said conversationally, watching the Decepticon warlord, painted liberally with pink sparkles and heart marks, chase his skirted Second around the battlefield, “does this mean ‘Screamer and the others are part of our team now?”
Prowl glared at him. “Don’t even joke like that.”