Sweaters. I haven't worn a sweater in ages. Last night I had this tight feeling in my chest and the only thing running through my mind was how I wish it was morning. Just so I could feel normal. Then, I started wondering if this is what feeling alone feels like for everyone.
alone for me feels dark, there's an echo to everything. it's when everything around me seems greater than usual. words mean more, it's easier to connect and relate to people when i'm completely detached from the things that make me feel. i think it's because i desire to feel more when i lack most.
in the night, that's when it's worse. i can't sleep and all the hours seem long. nothing cures it. sleep leaves me in a daze because it seems impossible that my reality can be so...unlike what i desire most. i have this cold feeling in my chest and i need to be held. i need someone to run their fingers through my hair until i fall into a deep sleep.
sometimes it's different though. i feel like nothing is ever the same as it once was, only similar.
Alone to me is constantly being chased by your own thoughts and feeling like you have no one to confide in. It's lying in bed until the sun is rising and praying for sleep because it's the closest thing to an emotional release that you can find. It's wanting what you can't have, it's wishing for the person you want to be, and it's a million scenarios that never happened playing out in your head.
It's definitely a tight feeling in your chest and a longing for morning, at least in my experience.
alone for me is shadeless or deep grays and blues. sometimes violets too. i get a pit in my stomach. i want someone to hold me. anyone to touch me.
Loneliness is me sitting at the park until wee hours of the morning thinking about what i did wrong. what i didn't do. what i should do. who i wish was sharing that experiance with me. who i wish i was. how i wished i'd have turned out. better things, worse things.
it's me smoking a cigarette and me toasting a drink to myself.
it's that anixety attack i get before sleep keeping me awake all night and hyperventalating.
it's blood that i draw myself to feel real.
it's reaching out to the world, and the world replies "oh no, not today" and you are left to fend for yourself the best you can. the best you know how. and it's never good enough. because you will still feel alone.
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Last night I had this tight feeling in my chest and the only thing running through my mind was how I wish it was morning. Just so I could feel normal. Then, I started wondering if this is what feeling alone feels like for everyone.
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in the night, that's when it's worse. i can't sleep and all the hours seem long. nothing cures it. sleep leaves me in a daze because it seems impossible that my reality can be so...unlike what i desire most. i have this cold feeling in my chest and i need to be held. i need someone to run their fingers through my hair until i fall into a deep sleep.
sometimes it's different though. i feel like nothing is ever the same as it once was, only similar.
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It's definitely a tight feeling in your chest and a longing for morning, at least in my experience.
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sometimes violets too.
i get a pit in my stomach.
i want someone to hold me.
anyone to touch me.
Loneliness is me sitting at the park until wee hours of the morning thinking about what i did wrong.
what i didn't do. what i should do. who i wish was sharing that experiance with me. who i wish i was. how i wished i'd have turned out. better things, worse things.
it's me smoking a cigarette and me toasting a drink to myself.
it's that anixety attack i get before sleep keeping me awake all night and hyperventalating.
it's blood that i draw myself to feel real.
it's reaching out to the world, and the world replies "oh no, not today" and you are left to fend for yourself the best you can.
the best you know how.
and it's never good enough.
because you will still feel alone.
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naw, this is cute. you do sound different, though.
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