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This is for you, john75half!! Everyone loves octopi! Except for those people who buy cheap blackmarket shoes from them.

OCTOPUS WARDROBES FULL OF USELESS SHOES

It's no secret to my friends, family members and even random strangers that I have slash goggles on like 24/7. Everything I see can be slashed, up to and including randomly real people ( Read more... )

Sometimes, when work is crazy like it was today, I don't get a chance to go to the bathroom.

And so I have to come home and poop.

A lot.

Also, for any of you that want to know, I have two perfectly round bug bites on my back where my tailbone ends and my ass begins.

I have tiny ass vampires. In my bed. Right now.

This is for all those who have seen the end of Season Whatever, Dr Who-style:
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Michael Charlton, whoever you are, I love you.

See, a bit of explanation is required at this point.

...isn't there always?

I sometimes read an online magazine called www.Slate.com.  And I know it's boring and probably one-sided and whatever, but I only read it for the movie reviews and Dear Prudence anyways (people are so fucked up and it's funny!) ( Read more... )

Ok, so I tend to use curse words peppered in with normal dialogue like my life is a movie rated R and directed by Quentin Tarantino (on a day when Hollywood has run out of fake blood, ketchup, and all red food coloring) and this fact and the results directly occuring from it have been pointed out to me on more than one occasion.  Despite this, ( Read more... )

Look, look my friends what Carl's Jr has given us:


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Sweet monkey Spit!

Look at what I found, haphazardly scrolling around the web:


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I have a demon! Stole this from
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