Collide: Chapter three, part two
ooh, shiny new part.
Title: Collide
Pairing: Remus/Sirius of Harry Potter fandom
Rating: NC-17 overall, this part is closer to PG.
Summary (for all parts): AU (Remus never went to Hogwarts). Everytime Remus gets close to someone, they start to uncover the truth about his strange disappearances and injuries. He can't stand the look on their face when he tells them the truth so instead he erases any trace of their relationship from their mind with a simple obliviate. Tired of getting intimate with someone only to become strangers again, Remus resolves never to get involved with anyone ever again. Of course, resolutions are made to be broken.
In this part: Remus transforms, Lily is honest, and things seem like they might be okay after all. (but of course if you're keeping track of the wordcount, you will not be as easily fooled as Remus)
Previous parts: Chapter 1: part one | two | three
Chapter 2: part one | two
Chapter 3: part one
Collide
While his monthly visits to the Ministry may have been Remus’ least favourite upstanding appointments, his least favourite time of month by far was the full moon. It was times like this when both fell on the same date that Remus could only look up to the heavens and shake his head and count down the hours until it would all be over.
He checked his pocket watch (still an hour until moonrise) as he took the elevator past the ground floor to the basement of St. Mungo’s Hospital. The basement, a little known part of the hospital, mainly housed the research facility. As such, most of it was protected with heavy wards that Remus could feel buzzing as he wandered past various sealed doors to the werewolf research facility.
When he was a child his mother used to take him to all sorts of so-called specialists who claimed they could cure him. Of course none had but Penny Lupin never stopped trying. Her search for the cure for lycanthropy took the Lupins half way around the world and was one of the reasons why Remus could never attend Hogwarts. To this day she still sent Remus newspaper clippings of “miraculous cures”.
She was the main reason why Remus spent his full moons here at the research facility. Although their potions, charms, wards and spells never cured him and rarely even made the full moons easier, if they did find a cure or treatment, Remus was guaranteed access to the treatment for free. The other reason Remus came to St. Mungo’s was for the post-transformation care. After the moon he was sent upstairs for treatment of his injuries, if he had sustained any. It was at St. Mungo’s that he had met Lily Evans and taken to her immediately. Lily was kind enough to ensure she was always working the mornings after the full moon to look after Remus and the few other werewolves that were enrolled in the research - a task not many mediwitches wanted to take on. To say Remus was grateful was an understatement.
"Okay Mr. Lupin," said Philip the middle aged researcher who let Remus know what treatments they were trying out each month. "This month we thought we would revisit sleep potions."
Remus tried his best to disguise his dubious look but Philip must have caught it because he went on. "I know, we have done this before but we're trying out a different kind, a muggle-wizard hybrid as a matter of fact. It should not only put you to sleep but should also keep you there throughout the entire transformation unlike our previous attempts."
Remus nodded warily and started to peel off his clothes. He set his shirt in the box marked with his name while Philip prepared the serum.
"You'd best get into your containment facility before taking this," Philip advised, holding a beaker of clear liquid in front of him. "It might put you right out."
Remus took off his remaining clothing and left them in the box just outside his containment facility - or cell as he called it in his head.
"Fifteen minutes," Philip said, handing him a blanket to wrap himself in before the transformation.
Remus nodded and sat down on the concrete floor. His limbs were shaking as they always did before the transformation and his heart was beginning to beat double-time in anticipation. The anticipation was almost worse than the transformation sometimes. His stomach tied itself in knots and threatened to spew forth their contents at any moment. You would think after having so much practice, it would get easier, but it really didn't. You knew what to expect - when to anticipate the growth of hair, the elongation of teeth, the cracking and melding of bones - but you never were fully prepared no matter how many times it happened.
"If you want to go ahead and take that," Philip was saying when Remus turned back to him, "we can get you contained and ready.
Never ready, Remus thought silently but he did as Philip said. The serum was tasteless and for a moment Remus was left wondering if they were having him on. Then he felt the heaviness in his limbs and abruptly unable to stand, he sunk to his knees. The world was suddenly spinning in slow motion and he reached out a hand to the cold floor to steady himself.
Philip rushed over and snapped the heavy metal cuffs around his wrists and ankles.
"There we go," Philip murmured.
"Good luck," was the last thing Remus heard before the world stopped spinning and faded to black.
***
"Remus. Remus. Can you hear me? Remus?"
Remus groaned and started to open his eyes. Bad idea. Bright light assaulted his eyes and he shut them at once.
"Remus?" said the voice again. "It's Lily. You're at St. Mungo's."
It all came flooding back in a rush. He could remember bits and pieces of the evening - the transformation, almost worse with the spinning and heaviness in his head ,and the change back, always like coming home to his body once more.
"How are you feeling?" Lily asked and Remus groaned in response. His entire head was throbbing. He had no idea what they had given him but this feeling, much like a gigantic hangover, was worse than going through the change with nothing at all.
"I can't believe they gave you acepromazine," Lily was muttering as she bustled around the room. "Horse tranquilizers!" she exclaimed. "What the hell were they thinking?"
Remus was wondering that himself in addition to other things such as when the hurting would stop, why his entire body felt like it was vibrating and when Lily would stop yelling.
"Remus, I need you to swallow this," Lily was saying and Remus felt a glass of something thrust into his hand. "It'll make you feel better," she added and Remus struggled to sit up in order to swallow it. He felt Lily's reassuring hand on his back and her arm around his middle, helping him to sit up. He kept his eyes closed against the cruel light but downed the potion in one gulp. Lily was right - it did make him feel more alert and his head less cloudy. He chanced opening his eyes and was pleasantly surprised when he was greeted not with blinding light but a pretty redhead.
"Better?"
"Much," he said hoarsely.
"Rough night," Lily remarked as she carried on bandaging up his arm. Although he was technically chained, when transformed he always found some way to pull the chains enough to gnaw on part of himself. The researching staff refused to use magical binding so it didn't conflict with any spells or potions they might be using. Unfortunately Remus suffered the consequences.
"The sleep potion didn't work then, I suppose," Remus mused, looking at his mutilated wrist. It didn't hurt thanks to pain-killing potions and spells but the damage was obvious.
"No," Lily said with a sigh. "The wolf rebelled as always. I think they thought that by using a tranquilizer -"
"What's that?" Remus asked.
"It’s like a muggle sleep potion," Lily replied. "They were using one suited to animals, reasoning I suppose that it might be better suited to the wolf. Instead the wolf just fought harder, unfortunately."
Remus made a noise of assent and turned away from his arm.
"We're going to keep you for another hour just to make sure this antidote works," Lily said as she finished dressing his wound.
"Will you -" Remus cleared his throat. "Will you stay?"
Lily smiled gently. "For my favourite werewolf? Of course."
The transformation was always going to be Remus' biggest nightmare but as silly as it seemed, somehow Lily being there made it a little bit better.
"How have you been?" Lily asked, settling into the chair kept beside Remus' bed. "I mean, besides today," she clarified.
"Oh the same," Remus said vaguely. He wasn't quite sure how much he wanted to confide about Sirius at that moment. Then again, Lily might be able to answer a few questions.
"What did you tell Sirius about me?" Remus asked, turning his head towards her. "Not that I'm complaining," he added, "just curious."
"You want to know why he sought you out," Lily translated. Remus nodded and averted his eyes, suddenly shy as flashbacks to Sirius' naked body against his flooded his mind.
Lily ran her hand through her red hair, a habit Remus suspected she may have picked up from her fiancé. "He - He needed someone who didn't know who he was, really."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, someone to see him as someone other than Sirius, brother of the war hero. You were out of the country for most of the war, I was hoping you might not be as familiar with his family."
"I'm not," Remus admitted. "I only knew who he was because someone at work mentioned it."
Lily nodded and looked off in the distance as if remembering something. "He hasn't had good luck in relationships," she confided. "People want him for his fame or inheritance, not him."
Inheritance, thought Remus. That explained the money, then.
"Besides," Lily went on, "you're his type."
"I am?" Remus said, surprised. He hadn't given Sirius' type much thought but when he did, it wasn't a rather quiet unassuming librarian.
Lily smiled at him. "He goes for the bookish sort, really. Or so he said when I accused him of being in love with James a few years ago. 'Not my type', he said. And you can tell when you see the blokes he goes out with," she added. "I almost think he needs someone less… high-strung to balance him out."
"So you thought of me," Remus concluded.
"I did. Has my plan worked?" Lily asked, a glint in her eye.
"I don't know yet," murmured Remus, thinking of his last night alone with Sirius and his final words. I'm sorry, I can't.
"Have you told him about your condition?"
Remus looked at her in alarm. "No, of course not."
"To be honest Remus, I really think you could," Lily said softly. "I think he would be okay with it, I really do."
"What makes you say that?" Remus asked.
Lily paused for a moment. "I don't know, a feeling I suppose. He's really not the prejudiced type, despite his upbringing."
No, they never are, Remus thought darkly and tried to dismiss her speculation but their conversation stuck in his head even after they moved on to other topics. He thought about Sirius while he gathered his things and stepped back into the elevator, ignoring the dizziness that crept into the back of his mind.
He was considering Sirius when he crossed the waiting room of St. Mungo's and the dizziness returned full force despite the antidote. He steadied himself on a chair, assuring onlookers that he was fine. Good cup of tea, he told himself. Cup of tea and I'll be right as rain.
All things considered, it was rather ironic that he wasn't thinking about Sirius at all when he slowed to adjust his scarf and walked straight into him.
"Sirius," he gasped and it was like a bad case of déjà vu when his heart starting pounding again and the familiar panic flooded his senses. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Lunch with Lily, actually," Sirius said, still holding onto Remus' arm. In a moment of clarity, Remus wondered why he was always colliding with Sirius like this, then the moment was gone and Remus remembered to respond. "Oh yes, well I'll let you go," he said quickly and removed his arm from Sirius' grasp. Of course he hadn't accounted for his dizziness momentarily replaced with panic and as soon as Sirius released his grasp, Remus grew unsteady and grabbed the nearest steady object, in this case Sirius.
"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked, holding Remus once again and looking concerned, much to Remus' chagrin.
"Uhm, I fell."
"Are you okay?" Sirius immediately asked. "Of course you're not. Look at you, you can barely stand," he answered his own question.
"No, I'm fine," Remus tried to assure him.
"Don't be ridiculous, you're not. They must have given you something strong. Lily's a healer here, did you want to go back and see her?"
"No," Remus said hastily. The last thing he needed was Sirius visiting Lily and putting two and two together.
"Look," Sirius said after a moment. "Lily and I can do lunch another time. Why don't you come back to my place and rest? I doubt you can apparate or even floo right now."
Remus wondered vaguely how Sirius always sounded so convincing before trying to talk himself out of it. I think he would be okay with it, I really do. Lily's words came floating back into Remus' head.
"Please?" Sirius tried. "Just until you feel better. No trying to get involved here. Honest."
Remus found to his surprise that the idea of Sirius trying to get involved didn't bother him as much as it should have and was even more surprised when the words, "okay," rolled off his tongue as if they had been perched there waiting the entire time.
The smile Sirius gave him was worth it and as Sirius wrapped an arm around his waist to help him out of the hospital Remus had a peculiar sensation that things might just be okay after all.
(almost one quarter! only one quarter behind!)
in the next part: Remus and Sirius both take care of some, ahem, needs. Depending on my muses, those needs may be more or less NC-17 rated. Just sayin'.
next part >
Title: Collide
Pairing: Remus/Sirius of Harry Potter fandom
Rating: NC-17 overall, this part is closer to PG.
Summary (for all parts): AU (Remus never went to Hogwarts). Everytime Remus gets close to someone, they start to uncover the truth about his strange disappearances and injuries. He can't stand the look on their face when he tells them the truth so instead he erases any trace of their relationship from their mind with a simple obliviate. Tired of getting intimate with someone only to become strangers again, Remus resolves never to get involved with anyone ever again. Of course, resolutions are made to be broken.
In this part: Remus transforms, Lily is honest, and things seem like they might be okay after all. (but of course if you're keeping track of the wordcount, you will not be as easily fooled as Remus)
Previous parts: Chapter 1: part one | two | three
Chapter 2: part one | two
Chapter 3: part one
Collide
While his monthly visits to the Ministry may have been Remus’ least favourite upstanding appointments, his least favourite time of month by far was the full moon. It was times like this when both fell on the same date that Remus could only look up to the heavens and shake his head and count down the hours until it would all be over.
He checked his pocket watch (still an hour until moonrise) as he took the elevator past the ground floor to the basement of St. Mungo’s Hospital. The basement, a little known part of the hospital, mainly housed the research facility. As such, most of it was protected with heavy wards that Remus could feel buzzing as he wandered past various sealed doors to the werewolf research facility.
When he was a child his mother used to take him to all sorts of so-called specialists who claimed they could cure him. Of course none had but Penny Lupin never stopped trying. Her search for the cure for lycanthropy took the Lupins half way around the world and was one of the reasons why Remus could never attend Hogwarts. To this day she still sent Remus newspaper clippings of “miraculous cures”.
She was the main reason why Remus spent his full moons here at the research facility. Although their potions, charms, wards and spells never cured him and rarely even made the full moons easier, if they did find a cure or treatment, Remus was guaranteed access to the treatment for free. The other reason Remus came to St. Mungo’s was for the post-transformation care. After the moon he was sent upstairs for treatment of his injuries, if he had sustained any. It was at St. Mungo’s that he had met Lily Evans and taken to her immediately. Lily was kind enough to ensure she was always working the mornings after the full moon to look after Remus and the few other werewolves that were enrolled in the research - a task not many mediwitches wanted to take on. To say Remus was grateful was an understatement.
"Okay Mr. Lupin," said Philip the middle aged researcher who let Remus know what treatments they were trying out each month. "This month we thought we would revisit sleep potions."
Remus tried his best to disguise his dubious look but Philip must have caught it because he went on. "I know, we have done this before but we're trying out a different kind, a muggle-wizard hybrid as a matter of fact. It should not only put you to sleep but should also keep you there throughout the entire transformation unlike our previous attempts."
Remus nodded warily and started to peel off his clothes. He set his shirt in the box marked with his name while Philip prepared the serum.
"You'd best get into your containment facility before taking this," Philip advised, holding a beaker of clear liquid in front of him. "It might put you right out."
Remus took off his remaining clothing and left them in the box just outside his containment facility - or cell as he called it in his head.
"Fifteen minutes," Philip said, handing him a blanket to wrap himself in before the transformation.
Remus nodded and sat down on the concrete floor. His limbs were shaking as they always did before the transformation and his heart was beginning to beat double-time in anticipation. The anticipation was almost worse than the transformation sometimes. His stomach tied itself in knots and threatened to spew forth their contents at any moment. You would think after having so much practice, it would get easier, but it really didn't. You knew what to expect - when to anticipate the growth of hair, the elongation of teeth, the cracking and melding of bones - but you never were fully prepared no matter how many times it happened.
"If you want to go ahead and take that," Philip was saying when Remus turned back to him, "we can get you contained and ready.
Never ready, Remus thought silently but he did as Philip said. The serum was tasteless and for a moment Remus was left wondering if they were having him on. Then he felt the heaviness in his limbs and abruptly unable to stand, he sunk to his knees. The world was suddenly spinning in slow motion and he reached out a hand to the cold floor to steady himself.
Philip rushed over and snapped the heavy metal cuffs around his wrists and ankles.
"There we go," Philip murmured.
"Good luck," was the last thing Remus heard before the world stopped spinning and faded to black.
***
"Remus. Remus. Can you hear me? Remus?"
Remus groaned and started to open his eyes. Bad idea. Bright light assaulted his eyes and he shut them at once.
"Remus?" said the voice again. "It's Lily. You're at St. Mungo's."
It all came flooding back in a rush. He could remember bits and pieces of the evening - the transformation, almost worse with the spinning and heaviness in his head ,and the change back, always like coming home to his body once more.
"How are you feeling?" Lily asked and Remus groaned in response. His entire head was throbbing. He had no idea what they had given him but this feeling, much like a gigantic hangover, was worse than going through the change with nothing at all.
"I can't believe they gave you acepromazine," Lily was muttering as she bustled around the room. "Horse tranquilizers!" she exclaimed. "What the hell were they thinking?"
Remus was wondering that himself in addition to other things such as when the hurting would stop, why his entire body felt like it was vibrating and when Lily would stop yelling.
"Remus, I need you to swallow this," Lily was saying and Remus felt a glass of something thrust into his hand. "It'll make you feel better," she added and Remus struggled to sit up in order to swallow it. He felt Lily's reassuring hand on his back and her arm around his middle, helping him to sit up. He kept his eyes closed against the cruel light but downed the potion in one gulp. Lily was right - it did make him feel more alert and his head less cloudy. He chanced opening his eyes and was pleasantly surprised when he was greeted not with blinding light but a pretty redhead.
"Better?"
"Much," he said hoarsely.
"Rough night," Lily remarked as she carried on bandaging up his arm. Although he was technically chained, when transformed he always found some way to pull the chains enough to gnaw on part of himself. The researching staff refused to use magical binding so it didn't conflict with any spells or potions they might be using. Unfortunately Remus suffered the consequences.
"The sleep potion didn't work then, I suppose," Remus mused, looking at his mutilated wrist. It didn't hurt thanks to pain-killing potions and spells but the damage was obvious.
"No," Lily said with a sigh. "The wolf rebelled as always. I think they thought that by using a tranquilizer -"
"What's that?" Remus asked.
"It’s like a muggle sleep potion," Lily replied. "They were using one suited to animals, reasoning I suppose that it might be better suited to the wolf. Instead the wolf just fought harder, unfortunately."
Remus made a noise of assent and turned away from his arm.
"We're going to keep you for another hour just to make sure this antidote works," Lily said as she finished dressing his wound.
"Will you -" Remus cleared his throat. "Will you stay?"
Lily smiled gently. "For my favourite werewolf? Of course."
The transformation was always going to be Remus' biggest nightmare but as silly as it seemed, somehow Lily being there made it a little bit better.
"How have you been?" Lily asked, settling into the chair kept beside Remus' bed. "I mean, besides today," she clarified.
"Oh the same," Remus said vaguely. He wasn't quite sure how much he wanted to confide about Sirius at that moment. Then again, Lily might be able to answer a few questions.
"What did you tell Sirius about me?" Remus asked, turning his head towards her. "Not that I'm complaining," he added, "just curious."
"You want to know why he sought you out," Lily translated. Remus nodded and averted his eyes, suddenly shy as flashbacks to Sirius' naked body against his flooded his mind.
Lily ran her hand through her red hair, a habit Remus suspected she may have picked up from her fiancé. "He - He needed someone who didn't know who he was, really."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, someone to see him as someone other than Sirius, brother of the war hero. You were out of the country for most of the war, I was hoping you might not be as familiar with his family."
"I'm not," Remus admitted. "I only knew who he was because someone at work mentioned it."
Lily nodded and looked off in the distance as if remembering something. "He hasn't had good luck in relationships," she confided. "People want him for his fame or inheritance, not him."
Inheritance, thought Remus. That explained the money, then.
"Besides," Lily went on, "you're his type."
"I am?" Remus said, surprised. He hadn't given Sirius' type much thought but when he did, it wasn't a rather quiet unassuming librarian.
Lily smiled at him. "He goes for the bookish sort, really. Or so he said when I accused him of being in love with James a few years ago. 'Not my type', he said. And you can tell when you see the blokes he goes out with," she added. "I almost think he needs someone less… high-strung to balance him out."
"So you thought of me," Remus concluded.
"I did. Has my plan worked?" Lily asked, a glint in her eye.
"I don't know yet," murmured Remus, thinking of his last night alone with Sirius and his final words. I'm sorry, I can't.
"Have you told him about your condition?"
Remus looked at her in alarm. "No, of course not."
"To be honest Remus, I really think you could," Lily said softly. "I think he would be okay with it, I really do."
"What makes you say that?" Remus asked.
Lily paused for a moment. "I don't know, a feeling I suppose. He's really not the prejudiced type, despite his upbringing."
No, they never are, Remus thought darkly and tried to dismiss her speculation but their conversation stuck in his head even after they moved on to other topics. He thought about Sirius while he gathered his things and stepped back into the elevator, ignoring the dizziness that crept into the back of his mind.
He was considering Sirius when he crossed the waiting room of St. Mungo's and the dizziness returned full force despite the antidote. He steadied himself on a chair, assuring onlookers that he was fine. Good cup of tea, he told himself. Cup of tea and I'll be right as rain.
All things considered, it was rather ironic that he wasn't thinking about Sirius at all when he slowed to adjust his scarf and walked straight into him.
"Sirius," he gasped and it was like a bad case of déjà vu when his heart starting pounding again and the familiar panic flooded his senses. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Lunch with Lily, actually," Sirius said, still holding onto Remus' arm. In a moment of clarity, Remus wondered why he was always colliding with Sirius like this, then the moment was gone and Remus remembered to respond. "Oh yes, well I'll let you go," he said quickly and removed his arm from Sirius' grasp. Of course he hadn't accounted for his dizziness momentarily replaced with panic and as soon as Sirius released his grasp, Remus grew unsteady and grabbed the nearest steady object, in this case Sirius.
"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked, holding Remus once again and looking concerned, much to Remus' chagrin.
"Uhm, I fell."
"Are you okay?" Sirius immediately asked. "Of course you're not. Look at you, you can barely stand," he answered his own question.
"No, I'm fine," Remus tried to assure him.
"Don't be ridiculous, you're not. They must have given you something strong. Lily's a healer here, did you want to go back and see her?"
"No," Remus said hastily. The last thing he needed was Sirius visiting Lily and putting two and two together.
"Look," Sirius said after a moment. "Lily and I can do lunch another time. Why don't you come back to my place and rest? I doubt you can apparate or even floo right now."
Remus wondered vaguely how Sirius always sounded so convincing before trying to talk himself out of it. I think he would be okay with it, I really do. Lily's words came floating back into Remus' head.
"Please?" Sirius tried. "Just until you feel better. No trying to get involved here. Honest."
Remus found to his surprise that the idea of Sirius trying to get involved didn't bother him as much as it should have and was even more surprised when the words, "okay," rolled off his tongue as if they had been perched there waiting the entire time.
The smile Sirius gave him was worth it and as Sirius wrapped an arm around his waist to help him out of the hospital Remus had a peculiar sensation that things might just be okay after all.
(almost one quarter! only one quarter behind!)
in the next part: Remus and Sirius both take care of some, ahem, needs. Depending on my muses, those needs may be more or less NC-17 rated. Just sayin'.
next part >