To Be Free - Part I
Title: To Be Free
Authors: kat_elric & argh
Pairing: Onew/Minho
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slight whipping scene…
Summary: Engagement parties are a cause for celebration and Jinki’s is no exception, but when Minho, who he thought to be long gone, walks into the party, he will bring with him memories and emotions that may upset the delicate creation Jinki has made his life to be.
To Be Free
Written by argh and kat_elric
“At least pretend that you are going to have a good time,” the older woman told her son exasperatedly as she tucked a stray hair back into the elaborate weave on top of her head.
Her son forced a smile, and reached up to help her settle her hair. “Of course, mother.”
Beside him, his father sighed. “Minho, I know you do not want to be here, but one evening is not going to make much difference in your search for him.”
His mother touched his arm lightly. “I know you think he will be right around the corner, but perhaps someone here has heard of him.” He didn’t comment on how unlikely that was. No one had heard of the strange name of Onew, let alone a foreign man matching the description he constantly gave out.
“Of course, mother,” he said softly. “I will do my best to enjoy myself.” He offered her his arm, as good manners dictated, and she smiled softly before twining her arm with his. His father stepped to the gate and rang the bell there. Immediately, a well-dressed servant opened the gate and welcomed them inside.
“The celebration is out on the back patio,” the servant said after bowing in greeting to them. “Shall I show you the way?”
“No, thank you,” Minho’s father replied, shooing him off with a wave of his hand. “I’m certain we can find our own way.” The servant nodded, seemingly unbothered that a family of three wished to wander around his master’s house unguided, and stepped back to his place by the gate. “Watch your step, dear,” his father cautioned, and they waited while his mother gathered her long light blue skirt into her hands so that she could keep it from the ground. When she was ready, his father lead them from the gate around the side of the house and back to the garden as if he had traversed the path one hundred times on his own.
The rumors were that he had, in fact, nearly grown up at the house that they were now attending a celebration at, and while that wasn’t exactly correct, it was true that Minho’s father had grown up side by side and best friends with the current owners of the costly house. Of course, that meant that when their adopted son, whom they had taken in years ago, announced his engagement celebration to a well to do lady, their family would be expected to be there.
The garden held people dressed in party attire of the type that was appropriate for a garden party. Most of the fabrics were pastels in color for both the men and the women and although the dresses were as varied in style and cut as the flowers in the garden, the men seemed to be all wearing nearly the same style of clothing: long pants of a darker color and a lighter shirt often in a color that matched the dress of the lady on their arm. Minho’s own shirt, long sleeved and cuffed at the wrist, was a derivative of the blue in his mother’s dress, a shade or two different then his father’s.
Once in the garden, his mother separated from him with a grateful pat on his arm and his father did as well, both moving off to greet the Lord and Lady of the house. Minho, left standing just inside the entrance, scanned the party for anything that might be of use to him in his ongoing search for what he had lost, but he could hardly find anything. The garden was nearly a maze, set up to allow for small groups to converse in privacy if they so chose. To see everyone in the party, he would have to weave his way around people and foliage for the better part of an hour, which would not only be impractical, but impolite as well.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” a familiar voice to his right said.
A glance sideways showed him it was just who he had thought it would be, holding out a glass of something to him. Minho accepted the glass, trusting the other man enough that he would not offer him anything poisoned, and sipped it before speaking. The contents of the glass were sweet and sticky on his tongue with an underlying bitterness that told him he shouldn’t drink more than a glass or two of the substance.
“Jonghyun,” he greeted coolly, knowing Jonghyun was waiting for an explanation. Instead of answering right away, he took another sip, letting his eyes look for faces he recognized.
“I would have expected you to be looking for your long lost whatever he was,” Jonghyun said airily as if he had forgotten who exactly it was Minho had been looking for, for years, yet Minho knew that wasn’t the case. Not only was Jonghyun incredibly intelligent, he forgot nothing, and had complete control of his actions and reactions to the point that he could be dying and a doctor may not be able to see it.
“Friends of the family,” Minho said in way of explanation, knowing that Jonghyun knew more than enough about etiquette to get the implications.
“Mm, Key is here,” Jonghyun responded. That perked Minho’s interest and he looked towards Jonghyun. If Jonghyun was the deep recesses of information, Key was his counterpart, a man that worked literally like a key to unlock information. There wasn’t a scrap of news he couldn’t obtain no matter how large or small and Minho was glad the pair had been dancing around each other for ages; together they would have made a formidable team.
“Let’s get your duties over with, then we can talk with him,” Jonghyun offered, noting his interest.
Minho nodded, and Jonghyun immediately moved off through the garden. The host of the party, or the person it was in celebration of, never received the luxury of being able to sneak off for private conversation. Instead they were forced to stay in the middle of the garden, and receive guests and well wishes alike. It made them much easier to find, in what could be very much like a maze to anyone not familiar with it.
Jonghyun lead him directly there, and they paused as the hosts, spoke with another couple. It would be rude to interrupt a conversation no matter how much he wanted to get it over with. Key was reclining on a bench to the side of the small area and he waved in greeting. He clearly wouldn’t speak with them until Minho had at least greeted the people who he had supposedly come to wish well.
Minho had never met the son of the best friend of his father, or at least not the elder son. The elder son was a young man that had been adopted a few years before and although he had been over to visit on occasion, Minho hadn’t been there to greet him. Now he could only see the back profile of the man, decent height, shorter than Minho although most were, and neat. Even his hair, which fell in soft brown waves that brushed his shoulders, looked well cared for.
The woman on his arm, was Seohyun, he recognized her from the few parties he had attended with his father. She was young, younger then Minho by several years, but didn’t seem upset in the slightest in her engagement to what appeared to be an older man. She was talking just as animatedly as he was to the other couple.
When the couple left, they turned to meet the one beside them and Minho felt his heart stop. There just in front of him, was the person he had looked for all along. The man whose name he hadn’t bothered to remember was talking animatedly with his guests and Minho couldn’t think, his mind could hardly process what he was seeing. All this time, the one he had looked for had been here, right here.
He inhaled stutteringly and Jonghyun may have offered him a funny look, but he hardly cared. All he could do, as his breath gusted back out past his lips, was mutter a single word, “Onew.”
◦○●♥●○◦
Six year old Minho sniffed and wiped his nose against his dirty sleeve, even though his Mama had always told him that good little boys didn’t wipe their noses on their sleeve. Minho sniffed again, holding back a yawn as he huddled on the dirt floor of the hut. It felt cold and lonely sitting inside, he shivered slightly as he wondered where his friend was.
The sound of loud laughter made Minho look out the door, immediately he got up planning to rush over but then he saw that Onew was laughing with Seungho and some other older boys whose names he didn’t know. Minho frowned, hands tugging on his loose shirt as he watched them play. Instead of Onew running over to drag Minho out to play, he was playing with those older boys. Minho would’ve run out to join them, because Onew was there - but the last time he did that Seungho had pushed him into the mud saying he didn’t want a snotty kid like him hanging around.
Minho’s stomach rumbled as he watched Onew, his only friend, playing with the other boys, laughing so happily as he ran around. Minho pouted and squatted down on the floor. He wanted to go out and play, too. Minho had been bored all day. Onew was still playing with his other friends. Minho felt odd, he didn’t like the way he felt seeing Onew taking no notice of him. Minho glanced around, unconsciously looking for something to make a loud noise with so Onew would notice him. There was nothing so Minho just watched Onew playing, hating the other boy for ignoring him and the feelings that surged up inside him. Something in his chest hurt - he felt abandoned even if he didn’t know the word yet. He felt as if the world had turned its back on him, leaving him to sit in a cold dark room, completely alone.
◦○●♥●○◦
“Thank you for coming,” Jinki said politely to the lady and her husband. He knew they were important in society, but he could hardly remember how, especially since he had been trying to keep more and more people straight recently. On his arm, Seohyun’s hand flexed in silent reassurance.
“It was our pleasure,” the man responded, taking his wife’s hand and bowing slightly to them. “Best wishes on your engagement.”
“Thank you,” Seohyun replied, her voice soft and gentle. The man smiled at her words and led his wife away from them. Jinki sighed as he watched them go. A part of him enjoyed parties such as this, while another larger part of him longed for the quiet he could find in the garden.
“May I present,” Jonghyun, a friend of the family and one of the people his age that he enjoyed spending time with, said as he stepped forward and caught his attention. “Lee Jinki and his fiancé Seohyun. This is Choi Minho.”
Jinki was half turned to face their latest guest and when he heard the name, his heart leapt. There was no chance it could be the Minho he knew, it simply wasn’t possible. Yet as his eyes fell on the man he was to greet, there standing in front of him, was in fact the Minho that he knew. He was older, and looked harder, as if the circumstances of the last few years had changed him more than their childhood had, an idea that seemed impossible to Jinki, but still a man familiar to him.
It was as if his brain couldn’t process properly what it was seeing, and indeed he was nearly convinced he was either dreaming as he often did, or seeing a phantom of some sort. Jinki took several stumbling steps forward, pulling away from Seohyun, and without realizing it was fitting his arms around Minho’s waist and burying his face in the familiar strong shoulders.
He had single-handedly broken a dozen rules of etiquette, but after a moment, when strong arms curled around his shoulders, he couldn’t have cared less. It was likely not only incredibly improper but also rude to cry on the shoulder of someone you had just been supposedly introduced to, and Jinki did his best to curb the tears and contain them. Here, real and solid in front of him, was a man that he thought he never had a hope to see again, a man that he had been certain was gone from him forever. “Minho,” he whispered, choking back a sob, “How?”
Minho didn’t answer, instead it was Key’s voice that he heard, “Good afternoon, my Lord.”
“Is everything alright?” came the masculine voice of someone he did not know.
“But of course. They simply attended lessons together and it has been such a long time since he has come home that Jinki has missed him fiercely. I keep telling his lovely fiancé that he is more of a blubbering woman then she is sometimes,” Key said lightly.
He heard Seohyun’s laugher and that of another woman as well. “Isn’t that the truth about men,” the woman said.
Jinki knew he needed to compose himself and go to greet them since not only would it be considered rude not to, but it could be seen as a slight and taken offence to in this world of rules and behaviors that he did not yet fully understand. He took a deep breath and pulled away from Minho’s body to look up at his eyes for the first time. Minho was as unreadable as he had ever been, something that Jinki found to be strange, since he rarely had trouble seeing what Minho had been thinking.
“Go,” Minho said lowly and Jinki nodded.
“I’ll be back,” he whispered. Minho didn’t say anything. Jinki scrubbed at his eyes with his sleeve and then turned. He knew he couldn’t erase all evidence of his tears, but thankfully he had stopped crying.
“Oh, aren’t you just so sweet, to cry over a long lost friend,” the woman said with a motherly smile.
“I have missed him dearly, my Lady,” he replied reaching for Seohyun’s hand. Her slender fingers twined with his and squeezed lightly, offering him reassurance and support.
Jinki listened as Key introduced them as some politician and his wife. He tried to pay attention to the conversation, but he was incredibly thankful for the presence of mind of his fiancé and her ability to carry the conversation while making it seem as if they were both talking. It had been one of the things that had endeared her to him in the first place when he had first arrived and not understood the customs or how things worked, and now it aided him when he was distracted.
His mind kept drifting back to the man who was standing behind him, a little ways away, and he wanted to turn, just to make certain that he hadn’t been imagining things, but he resisted. Just a few more moments, he continued to tell himself, and then he could go and rejoin Minho once more.
After what seemed like an eternity his guests hinted that they had best be on their way. Jinki barely took the time to bid them well before he was turning to return to the person he truly wanted to talk with at this party. Yet when he spun, he found that the spot where Minho had been standing like a figment from his dream, was empty.
◦○●♥●○◦
Onew grinned as he looked up at the sky - it was a glorious day, the sun was shining down brightly and there was barely a cloud in the sky, just lots of clear blue sky. The few soft fluffy clouds only made him feel happy but restless, he was meant to be looking after Minho but he wanted to do more than just sit and talk. Onew felt suddenly energetic and wanted to run around or play, the sun made him joyful and happy.
Onew looked across to where Minho concentrated, tongue stuck out the side of his mouth as he played with twigs. Onew smirked and tiptoed towards the younger boy, picking up a stick and then dropping to his stomach to crawl closer undetected. He half sat up when he was close to Minho and then he threw the stick and quickly ducked hiding behind the tall yellow-brown grass.
After a few moments Onew risked a look, covering his mouth to hide his giggling as he saw Minho looking around confused, his face looking slightly grumpy as he stood up and started to look around to spot the culprit. Onew shifted, moving higher to see better, grinning as he saw Minho’s eyes narrowed in concentrated as he looked around until he spotted the older boy barely a meter away from him and laughing. Onew choked, his laughter stopped abruptly as he saw Minho ball his fists up, frowning as he stomped towards him.
“Onew!” Minho practically whined, leaning down to whack Onew across the shoulder with the stick, “you hit me, that’s not nice!” He scowled, looking angrily down, until Onew felt slightly guilty. It was meant to be a playful hit, but Minho looked angry, the way his lower lip jutted out and he had his hands balled into fists.
“Ah sorry Minho, I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.” Onew apologized, his smile slipping as he realized he had hurt or upset the younger boy. Onew scrambled up to his knees, reaching forward to grasp Minho’s wrist lightly, tugging the smaller boy down onto the grass next to him, “Where did I hit you?” Onew asked gently, scanning Minho carefully for some kind of injury.
“It’s okay, I hit you,” Minho nodded his head, he sounded strangely proud, “So we’re even.” Minho shrugged his thin shoulders, the anger gone from his large round eyes. Onew felt his own eyes widen in surprise, gaping slightly when he saw Minho’s reaction, and how easily he was okay again. Onew opened his mouth to say something, but then he saw his mother, standing a few meters behind Minho, hands on her hips.
“Onew, what are you doing? You forgot again, didn’t you?” She chastised him, “Go now, and then come back for Minho.” Onew paled, quickly nodding his head, feeling sick as he remembered what he had been asked to do. Because Onew was older, he was given a few chores to do, but most of the time he was just taking care of Minho, until he was old enough to help out too. Onew got up quickly, wiping his hands across his butt as he watched his mother leave, he gulped and then turned to look down at Minho, who sat there blinking his eyes somehow reminding Onew of a frog.
“Minho, just stay here okay? I’ll only be a short while.” Onew nodded his head, leaving the basket in the grass and Minho nodded his head. Onew turned and walked off, feeling slightly ashamed that for the second day in a row he had forgotten to stack the wood neatly. It was a simple task and he felt ashamed for having forgotten a second time. It didn’t take long for him to reach the wood yard, it was quiet at that time of day, but Onew nodded politely to the older male who was sweeping away the sawdust.
“Ah, you forgot again?”
Onew blushed and nodded his head, rushing over to stack the neatly chopped wood into piles. Onew soon established an easy rhythm, his body moving in time as he stacked the blocks of wood. As he thought it didn’t take him very long to get it stacked up neatly again, lucky that none had been freshly chopped that day because then it would’ve taken him longer. Onew couldn’t help but worry about leaving Minho alone - even if it was only for such a short time. Onew couldn’t think of a time when he had left Minho completely alone, especially outside, he shivered slightly wondering what would happen if something happened to him.
The wood stacking had not taken long, so Onew figured that he was simply overreacting. So he breathed in deeply and made his way back down the little track. Tracing his steps back to the field where he had been playing with Minho. Onew smiled as he rounded the last bend, grinning widely as he stepped around the large tree, looking around to spot Minho in the grassy field but he only saw their baskets and the sticks they had played with.
“Minho?” Onew called out softly, trying not to panic as he couldn’t see his friend, but when no one answered he began to panic. Onew gulped and ran over to where he had last seen Minho but there was no sign of the younger boy. “Minho, where are you?” Onew cried out, his mother was going to kill him and worst than that he had lost Minho, the thought made him feel sick.
Onew started to breathe shallowly, breathing out loudly and oddly, turning around in circles on the field as he tried to spot some sign of the other boy. Onew was starting to panic, he was going to be in so much trouble for losing Minho, but it was the fact Minho was gone that really worried him. The thought of the boy, who he thought of as his younger brother, being lost made him want to throw up. Onew had always been there for him, but this time he hadn’t and now something terrible had happened.
“Minho, where are you? What happened to you?”
Gasping Onew turned, covering his mouth with his hand, trying not to panic when he felt something touch him on the back. Onew spun around; he panted heavily and then gaped when he saw Minho standing there with a smirk across his face. Onew sputtered slightly, reaching out to grasp Minho’s wrist as the other darted towards him with a mischievous grin.
“Ha! I got you!” Minho sing-song-ed as Onew reached out to him, gritting his teeth as Minho continued to squirm and wriggle around like a worm.
“Minho, where were you? I was so worried; I thought something happened to you.” Onew pouted, touching his chest where his heart was pounding so heavily. He felt annoyed seeing Minho’s carefree smile, like he didn’t even care that Onew had stressed and worried so much.
“Oh, silly,” Minho cocked his head to one side, poking his tongue out at him, “did you really think something would happen to me?” Minho grinned and flexed his stick thin arms, trying to make them look muscular. “I’m a big boy now,” He nodded his head proudly; “I can defend myself.” Onew tried not to laugh as he eyed the younger boy’s display, still feeling a little annoyed.
“Don’t ever do that again,” Onew scolded him, “I was so worried.” He sighed softly, bending to pick up his basket, “Come on, we should go now.” He missed the way Minho pouted slightly, Onew propped the basket against his side and reached for Minho’s hand. “Come on, let’s go home,” He mumbled, smiling as he gripped the slightly clammy hand in his own. Onew breathed in relief, so glad that Minho had just been playing a prank on him.
◦○●♥●○◦
“Kibum, may I ask you a question?” Jinki said politely.
The other young man, known more widely as Key, looked at him over the top of his cup, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “I don’t know why you bother asking if you may, you are just going to ask it anyway.”
They both knew that it was simply because of the strict unspoken rules of etiquette that governed the world in which he now lived, that Jinki asked at all, yet it was hard for him to adjust to, even harder when there was something he would like to know. “Choi Minho,” Jinki continued without further prompting, knowing Kibum would hardly care, “the one who was here yesterday.”
“The one you cried all over; yes I know, what about him?” Kibum asked, sipping at his drink.
“Do you think you could find out where he is staying,” Jinki asked hopefully.
Kibum laughed sharply at that, “Finding out isn’t the problem. What makes you think I will tell you?”
Other men may have tried to threaten or belittle Kibum into getting their way, not that it would have worked anyway, but Jinki couldn’t imagine doing that. “I’ll tell you where Jonghyun spends his afternoons occasionally,” he offered.
Kibum smiled lazily, but Jinki could tell it was with a good deal of interest hidden beneath it. “What makes you so certain you actually know?”
“I’ve gone with him,” Jinki declared. It was a well known fact that Kim Jonghyun occasionally disappeared for the afternoon and no one, not even the best trackers could find him, yet when he chose to return, it was typically with something rare in his possession.
“I will have everything you want to know and more for you at dinner this evening,” Kibum promised and Jinki could read the mannerisms of someone who had just won some sort of battle radiating from him. Jinki only felt marginally bad that he was going to divulge the secret of one friend to another, but Kibum had been trying to discover it for years and it was only a matter of time before he was able to do so himself. It wasn’t as though the entire kingdom would know; there was no one who would guard Jonghyun’s secret better than Kibum.
“Then I will have what you want there as well,” Jinki promised.
Kibum reclined back in his chair, a satisfied smirk on his face, “A pleasure doing business with you as always, Jinki.”
◦○●♥●○◦
In the dark Minho could barely see anything but the whites of Onew’s eyes, glinting back at him. Somehow seeing the whites of his eyes in the darkness comforted him, when it was so quiet he could almost think that he was the only person left in the world. Minho wriggled closer to his older brother, feeling secure with the warmth of his body next to him, their faces inches apart. Minho grinned, teeth almost glowing in the dark and he opened his mouth to speak when he felt Onew shifting next to him. At first Minho felt happy, thinking Onew was shifting closer about to speak because the silence had lapsed long enough, but instead there was silence.
Minho frowned as Onew rolled onto his side, facing away from him, flopping down as if he was just going to sleep. Almost immediately Minho leaned forward and poked Onew in the side. One finger jabbing the skinny boy’s ribs, and when Onew still did not turn to face him, still keeping his head away from Minho’s gaze, he breathed out loudly, scowling as he was still ignored. Minho pouted, surprised that Onew was ignoring him after the last time he had been ignored, Minho stopped talking completely which drove Onew crazy with worry. Minho hated how Onew was smiling and whispering silly things to him one minute, and the next moment he acted as if Minho didn’t even exist; there was no way Minho would stand for that.
“Onew~, Onewww~, Onew~,” Minho’s voice grew higher at the end, he whined as he gripped the rough fabric of Onew’s pajamas, “Onew,” he repeated louder, sounding even more petulant with each word. Minho felt triumphant when Onew suddenly turned, but instead of the smile Minho expected, Onew covered Minho’s mouth with his hand, leaning in far too close so his breath was hot across Minho’s cheek. Minho squirmed trying to get free of Onew’s embrace, he didn’t like how the older boy was covering his mouth and holding him down.
“Shhhh,” Onew whispered, “be quiet, we don’t want to get caught.” Minho frowned, wriggling against Onew’s hold, but the older boy just held him more firmly, his hand hard against his mouth. Minho fought against Onew until the ten year old Onew whined softly, a faint noise that made the hairs on the back of Minho’s neck stand, it reminded him of the little whine wolves let out before they attacked. Minho wriggled even more, desperately trying to get free, that noise Onew let out scared him. After what felt like minutes, or even hours, Onew finally uncovered Minho’s mouth, letting him breathe freely again.
“Don’t do that again,” Minho breathed in the sweet air glaring across at Onew, before he swiftly rolled onto his side, back facing away from Onew. Minho would be lying if he didn’t say he was angry, he shut his eyes breathing in deeply as he tugged the thin sheet up to cover his chest. Minho stiffened when Onew touched his shoulder lightly, ignoring the touch completely. If Onew thought he could ignore Minho and then hold him down forcefully, Minho could just as easily ignore Onew.
“I only did it because it was necessary, someone was up I didn’t want us to get in trouble.” Onew whispered right into his ear, “we don’t want to wake mother or father up,” Minho lay on his back, unable to stop himself from looking up at Onew, watching how the older boy looked around the room intently. Minho knew Onew was right, but he just didn’t like the way he had grabbed him so roughly like that and he’d never admit that Onew was probably right.
“Promise you won’t do something like that again,” Minho whispered glancing up at Onew, relieved when he nodded his head and smiled down at him. “Unless you have to, Onew, promise,” Minho stubbornly asked, glancing up at his brother, who patted his shoulder lightly to reassure him. Minho hoped that Onew realized he meant both things, for Onew not to ignore him like that or hold him down.
“I promise,” Minho relaxed hearing the words, “But only if you promise not to hide from me anymore,” Minho sighed and then giggled, he always hid from Onew. It made him laugh seeing the worry across Onew’s face when he couldn’t immediately see him. Minho pouted when Onew shook him slightly, “Minho, you have to promise too. It’s only fair if we both promise something.”
“I promise, Onew.” Minho nodded his head firmly, looking seriously up into the dark brown eyes of his brother. Minho felt so lucky to have Onew, he shivered slightly not from the breeze but because of the worry that one day Onew might leave him. “Onew, Onew,” Minho touched Onew’s chest, “promise you won’t leave me anywhere, you’ll always take me with you wherever you go.” Minho only felt safe when Onew was there next to him, he needed his friend, his brother.
“Like I’d leave my baby brother anywhere,” Onew grinned, leaning down to run one hand messily though Minho’s hair, “it’s not like my baby brother can manage on his own.” Minho tensed, pouting as he blushed as he remembered how he had tried to stack wood for Onew, and his attempt at being ‘independent’ had been a massive failure. Instead of stacking all the wood neatly, he had managed to knock the wood around the whole yard, making a huge mess. Minho’s lower lip trembled and he pouted, he had hated relying on Onew to help him pick it up. Minho wanted Onew to look proudly across at him and to rely on him too.
“No fair!” Minho sat up and punched Onew’s arm, not even caring anymore if he woke their parents or anyone else up. “You have to promise!” He whispered, lying down as Onew gripped his arm and pretended to moan in pain, “Stop faking it,” Minho breathed out loudly, “promise you won’t leave me!” Minho felt sick, Onew had to promise, he didn’t want to be left all alone again. The thought of being abandoned made Minho’s stomach churn into knots, his limbs going icy cold, he wished that Onew would promise.
“I promise,” Onew replied right away, leaning over to hug Minho, making him feel warm and safe as Onew wrapped his arms around him, the ice in his limbs melting as Onew’s words washed over him like a protective blanket. “Now go to sleep,” Onew murmured as he pulled away from Minho, slipping under his own sheet. Minho pouted slightly as he eyed the distance, and the gap on the wooden floor marking where their beds lay.
Not for the first time Minho wished he was younger, so he could have an excuse to crawl over to Onew’s bed and slip under the covers, he felt so much safer sleeping next to his brother, but at least he had promised. That was enough for tonight he decided. Minho firmly told himself he had to make Onew proud of him and crawling into his brother’s bed because he was ‘scared’ of being alone would not make anyone proud of him. Minho nodded his head, reminding himself that he was eight now, he was a big boy, and he could sleep alone.
◦○●♥●○◦
Kibum had delivered the information, as promised, and Jinki had immediately sent out an invitation to dinner the next evening. It was irritating to him, the rituals and habits that everyone seemed to have and he had to follow or risk offending more than one person. The place of his birth had been one in which if you desired to see a person and were able to do so, you simply went over to their house to see them. It was polite to announce your coming so there would be enough food, but no one would have been upset if you didn’t.
It was nothing like that here. A day was the shortest notice that anyone would allow and even that was frowned upon, but Jinki was willing to risk that. He didn’t think it took the servants all that long to prepare everything anyway. They didn’t need an elegant meal or entertainment, yet from the moment he had announced that he would be having a dinner guest the next evening scurrying had begun in the household.
However strict the rules and regulations seemed to be, they clearly didn’t apply to fiancés, for when Seohyun appeared a mere hour before dinner was to begin, not a single person in the household acted like it was odd. Jinki wondered if in fact, a significant other was simply always made ready for that way they could never be caught off guard. In this society, he wouldn’t be too surprised if that was the case.
“Seohyun,” Jinki greeted politely.
“Jinki,” she replied, offering him a bright smile. “I was in the neighborhood and heard you had invited Minho to dinner. I wanted to meet him, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” he told her, offering her his arm and guiding her to the sitting room to wait for Minho. Although he wasn’t entirely happy with her presence, he didn’t hate the idea of it and even if he had, he could hardly have told her that.
“So you and Minho are?” she prompted once she was settled in a plush chair.
“Friends, good friends, from before,” Jinki told her. He hadn’t told her where he had come from but she was aware that five or so years ago he hadn’t been in the kingdom at all.
“I see,” she replied, offering him a smile and he knew she was turning things over in her mind.
Jinki was saved from having to elaborate any further when a servant announced that his guest had arrived. A moment later, Minho stepped into the room. “Minho,” Jinki murmured, inhaling lightly and rising to his feet. He could see the emotions play across the other man’s face too quickly to name, until he took in the sight of Seohyun sitting across the room. She smiled at him, and Minho returned it, his mask falling back into place.
“Thank you for the dinner invitation,” Minho said formally and extended his hand.
Jinki frowned, but grasped it anyway, trying to ignore the tingles that zinged up his arm at the touch. “It was my pleasure. I’m glad you found the time to accept,” he replied, not knowing what else to say.
He was saved from having to figure out what to do next as he butler entered the room and spoke, “Dinner is served.”
◦○●♥●○◦
Onew frowned as his mother smoothed his clothes down, tugging on the rough shirt so it chafed slightly across his back. He whined slightly, fidgeting and trying to get out of her grasp, he didn’t like her straightening up his clothes or trying to adjust his hair. Onew pouted up at her, wondering why she was treating him like he was six - not eight. He sighed heavily, as his mother wet her fingers and patted his unruly hair down. Onew hated it when people fussed over him, it made him want to wriggle out of their grasp and run away.
“Onew, stop it.” Onew sulked, wriggling even more as he felt the other children staring at him and his mother continued to fuss. It felt worse because everyone was watching and everyone was there, it wasn’t in the privacy of their home. “Come on, Onew; behave,” His mother whispered softly, “This is important, so behave.” Onew breathed out softly, finally nodding his head, when his mother used that tone he knew he had to be quiet.
The garden was quiet when his mother led him towards the big white house. Onew couldn’t help but go stiff, nervously glancing ahead when he saw the tall man, dressed in his neat black clothes. Onew had always envied his clothes and him, until he heard the older children insulting him, although he didn’t understand why exactly, especially when his parents had always told him to be polite towards him. Unconsciously he straightened up when the man’s eyes flicked over towards him. Onew breathed out softly, his parents were talking softly, but he wasn’t interested in that. Onew stared at the leaves of the trees, the way they fluttered in the wind, with a soft rustle, and how the tips were starting to turn brownish, it made him feel sad to see them dying.
A faint whimper caught his ears. Curiously Onew looked around until he spotted a little boy, sitting back behind the tall man. Onew stared, frowning at the little boy, wondering who he was or where he came from. After a few moments, Onew saw the boy lifting his head, shifting and moving slowly as if injured, and Onew’s eyes widened as he saw the dark purple down his cheek. It reminded him of the dying leaves somehow, and curiously Onew wondered if that meant the boy was dying too.
“Onew, Onew,” Onew glanced up to see his mother touching his shoulder, “look you have a new friend now.” She whispered as Onew met the boy’s gaze, the large round brown eyes shyly looking back at him. He didn’t even notice the tall man leaving; he stared at the bruising and those large, scared looking eyes. Onew couldn’t look away, he stared intently, wondering what his mother meant, it only made sense when he saw her grab the boy’s hand.
Onew felt jealous until he saw the boy limp, and that bruise across his cheek. His mother tugged the little boy forward until he stood in front of Onew, looking down at the ground, unable to meet his gaze. Soundlessly Onew took his other hand, looking down at the little boy, it was odd. Part of him wanted to frown and stamp his foot and scream that she was his mother, but when the boy turned to look at him, with such sad, sad eyes, he felt guilty and squeezed his hand harder.
◦○●♥●○◦
Seohyun had watched a good number of dances in her lifetime and as a member of a prominent family, she had needed to learn several of them herself, but never had she seen one so haphazard as the one her fiancé and his guest were participating in at the moment. They seemed to be tiptoeing around each other, careful not to step on toes, but clearly wanting to get closer. It was as amusing as it was painful to watch and she was thankful that they were just eating dinner instead of actually dancing.
Jinki, as he sometimes did, said something completely random and from seemingly nowhere to which Minho replied with a curt and short comment. She hid her amused smile by taking a sip of her water. Clearly there was something between the pair, something more than either was willing to admit, and that intrigued her.
Her fiancé had been sweet, gentle, and ever gracious in his agreement to marry her as their parents wished, but she had never seen him quite like this. Even when he blundered in the middle of an important meeting, he had covered it with a smile and an apology and had carried on. Now he stuttered and fumbled as if nothing was quite good enough to say and nothing else mattered but saying the correct thing. It was interesting.
Minho’s reactions to him, although seemingly cool and collected, held a sharper edge that she couldn’t put her finger on, as if he was attempting to hide something by reacting in the way he was. Jinki hadn’t lied to her when he had told her how the pair had known each other, no one was capable of lying to her and getting away with it, not to mention Jinki was hardly a convincing liar, but there was more that he hadn’t said.
She picked at her food, eating the light greens and flaking off bits of fish until there was a lengthy strained silence in the dining room. “So,” she began, turning her attention to Minho. “Jinki said the two of you were old friends, how did you meet?”
He looked at her, clearly trying to formulate a polite way to tell her to mind her own business as Jinki started his hesitant cover up. “We used to live in the same kingdom; we met when we were children.”
“I didn’t ask you,” she told him with a smile. “I asked Minho.”
Minho’s eyes met hers with an intensity that she couldn’t describe, yet she could tell that he didn’t want her there, interesting. She gave him a look that both told him he hadn’t unnerved her, she had seen much more intimidating things, and that she was waiting for his answer.
When he spoke the corners of his mouth turned up, either from amusement or some other emotion he was feeling and he simply said, “We met as slaves.”
◦○●♥●○◦
Minho gritted his teeth together, shutting his eyes as his wrists were bound tightly to the post in front of him. He could not stop shaking slightly, his whole body trembling slightly as he stood thinking about what was going to happen. Minho held his jaw firmly so his teeth wouldn’t chatter and he felt so ashamed of himself for being so afraid, but he couldn’t help it. Minho had seen the wounds on other men, the lines that crisscrossed their backs and had seen one whipping himself. Minho sucked in a deep breath telling himself to be calm, he opened his eyes when his wrists were firmly knotted against the posts, and he could barely move. Minho winced when he saw Onew in front of him, if he could move he would have physically recoiled seeing Jinki struggling against his father and another slave. All the other slaves were gathered behind him, but Onew, his father and Dong wan were the only ones Minho could see, somehow it made him feel worse facing Onew.
Minho felt ten times worse to see Onew fighting against the two men, he knew that Onew wanted to stop the whipping, but Minho just felt ashamed to be letting down his family. Minho breathed in deeply, hearing sharp voices behind him, he tuned them out when his gaze met Onew’s. Minho wanted to mouth ‘stop’ or ‘it’s okay’ to him, but the sound of the whip whooshing through the air made Minho tense, he whimpered as there was a crack and then the whip lashed down onto his back.
It tingled in a line across his back and Minho sagged down, struggling not to cry out, but seeing the pale face of his older brother in the crowd, facing him he couldn’t show the pain he felt. Minho shuddered, shutting his eyes again, trying to steel himself for the next lashing. Minho tried to gulp air in deeply, trying so hard not to be scared, hoping the chatter of the watching slaves would cover the noise of the whip. But he heard the faint whoosh of the leather again, the seconds in between that and the crack felt like the longest moments of his life. Minho breathed in deeply, trying hard to stay stiff against the post he was tied to, but as soon as he heard the telltale crack his back sagged in anticipation, a second before the whip bit into his back again.
Minho couldn’t lift his head up or even try to look across to where Onew stood, the way the whip touched down against his back ignited sparks across his skin. He had lost track of how many times he had been whipped, but Minho could feel welts forming, the tingling sensations had intensified into shards of pain that slid down his nerves like ice shocking his body. The only thing holding him up were the ropes biting into his arms, and Minho was so out of it that he didn’t even notice it had stopped, the searing pain across his back made him unaware of anything else.
Minho could barely stand when he was untied from the post, his legs shaking when he tried to support himself. Shamefully he looked down, unable to meet Onew’s eyes. Stubbornly he tried to walk away like nothing had happened. He took one step before he started to crumble and then Onew and his father were there, holding him upright. Minho knew he should feel ashamed that he couldn’t even stand up, he felt completely drained, as if the energy had been sucked out of him. Minho felt arms lightly around his bare chest as they half dragged him back to their hut. Minho felt so out of it, he couldn’t even think about how many times he had been whipped. Strangely his back didn’t even hurt, he felt numb, his whole body felt desensitized completely, as if he was drugged and out of it.
Instead of thinking of what had just happened Minho could remember the expression across Onew’s face, the sweet, caring smile of an older brother, when he shyly pulled out the still warm sweet potato, holding it out for Minho. Minho had been stunned that Onew had stolen it for him, all because he had whined about digging the damn things out but rarely getting the chance to eat them. Seconds later when Minho heard the cook call out, he grabbed it from Onew, pretending that he was the one who stole it, so when the cook grabbed a hold of them both Minho was the one in trouble.
Minho wanted to tell Onew not to cry, that it was okay, but instead he just let his family help him down onto the rough floor. Minho groaned softly, shutting his eyes immediately as he lay on his stomach, his back no longer felt numb, it was starting to sting. It felt like his back was on fire, although he couldn’t tell if it was burning hot, or an icy cold sting. Minho didn’t want to move ever again, he just wanted to lie there forever until the pain subsided.
“Minho, I’m so sorry,” Onew whispered, stroking his shoulder gently. Minho let out a moan, before he lifted his head turning to look up at Onew’s pale face. “I’m so sorry, why did you take the punishment for me.”
“Because,” Minho breathed out softly as he felt a cold wet cloth press down against his back, the touches incredibly gentle, “ugh, because Onew, how could I let you be whipped?” Minho frowned, trying not to hiss as Onew pressed down slightly too hard on his back. Minho couldn’t let Onew be hurt, since they were small Onew had always protected him, but now he was taller and stronger, he felt like it was his duty to look out for his older brother. Minho had no regrets, he would do the same again for Onew, because he knew when they were little Onew would’ve done the same for him.
◦○●♥●○◦
Dinner had gone strictly downhill after Minho’s revelation, but Seohyun had learned long ago to take everything in stride and she had artfully turned the conversation to the upcoming festival, something which Jinki gave her an appreciative look for and let the previous subject drop. She had learned startling information, that much was certain, but in a way it didn’t entirely surprise her, either. Jinki had always carried himself as one who was accustom to taking orders and not giving them, and while she had assumed that he had simply been a servant or of lower rank, she couldn’t deny that it made sense that he had been a slave at some point.
It didn’t bother her that she was to marry a man who had once been a slave, although she was certain she would have to reassure him of that at some point if the half veiled, worried glances that he kept sending her were any indication. He was Jinki no matter where he had come from and he would make a fine husband and partner that much she knew.
The meal finished as awkwardly as it had begun, if not more so, and she was almost as grateful as Jinki looked when they were finished at last. “Will you stay for dessert?” Jinki asked Minho, wondering if he would stay for the more relaxed part of the evening.
“No, thank you. There are things I must attend to,” Minho answered politely, waving to a servant who scurried off to retrieve his coat.
“Oh,” Jinki murmured, and Seohyun could tell that was not what he had hoped to hear. With anyone else, he would have covered his disappointment, but something about this man seemed to make it hard for him to do so.
She stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Jinki’s arm, observing how Minho’s eyes flashed with an emotion she thought might have been jealousy or anger for just a moment before he covered it again. “Perhaps another time then,” she said lightly. “We very much enjoyed your company Minho, but we understand just how busy a person can be.”
The servant returned with Minho’s coat and helped him to slip his arms into it. “Yes, perhaps another time,” Minho replied curtly. “Thank you for the evening.” Then without saying anything further, he turned and strode confidently from the room.
Seohyun waited until he had gone before turning back to Jinki. “Shall we?”
Jinki wasn’t looking at her, but she could read disappointment and sadness in the whole of his body. “I’m sorry. I’m not feeling very well. I think I’m going to retire for the night.”
It wasn’t a lie, at least not in its entirety and she let it pass as he gently kissed her on the forehead and moved past her. She watched him go, her eyes following his steps carefully and her mind turning over all the things she had learned and everything she hadn’t.
◦○●♥●○◦
Onew bent down to help Minho pick up the basket laden with vegetables, the dirt still covering them. He hummed softly to himself as he went to grab the other side when Minho pushed his hand away somewhat roughly, making Onew look up. He always helped Minho with his tasks, and the baskets were always heavy which was why he helped the younger lift them.
“Don’t, I said I don’t need a hand.” Minho’s voice sounded cold, it had an edge to it that stunned Onew. It sounded like he really meant it, that he was not joking.
Onew stared in surprise. He couldn’t understand why Minho was being so difficult. Onew had offered to help him and the younger male had just told him to back off, but Onew had ignored him and gone to lift the basket anyway. Onew frowned, he had always helped Minho with all his chores and now Minho was acting like he was a mosquito buzzing around his ears. The way he had coldly told him not to help, made him blink in surprise.
“Minho, what’s wrong?” Onew eyed the younger male he felt even more worried when Minho turned away from him, so Onew could see his back and the way he held his shoulders so tense that his dirty shirt was pulled tight across his shoulder blades. “We’ve always done this together,” Onew felt at a loss as he stared down at the basket of dirty vegetables, the vegetable hoe abandoned on the field. Onew ignored the stares the other slaves sent them, glad that no one was close enough to hear them talk.
“I’m not a snotty nosed kid anymore!” Minho mumbled out loudly, hands balled into fists as he turned to face Onew, his eyes narrowed down angrily as he glared at his brother. “Onew, I’m not seven anymore,” Minho spoke louder, lifting his hands up to emphasize his point, “I’m 14, almost 15 but you still treat me like I’m seven!” Minho snapped, stunning Onew into complete silence. He felt lost, completely bewildered. Nothing made sense, and Onew felt as if he was slowly spinning, Minho’s words echoing around him. They’d never fought before, Minho had never glared across at him like that. Onew’s stomach felt cold, as if his insides were freezing, and he shivered, feeling so lost and helpless.
“Minho, Minho,” Onew spoke softly, his head was in turmoil, he had no idea how to deal with this situation. He always enjoyed every moment he spent with the child he considered his younger brother, but it seemed that he was the only one enjoying it. Onew blinked and tried to think back, tried to work out if he did treat Minho that way, he didn’t think he did. “But I like working with you, but I like helping you.” He looked up at taller boy, biting down hard into his lip.
“Aish, you just don’t get it!” Minho sighed heavily, rolling his eyes which only made Onew feel even worse. “All the other children laugh at me, don’t you know that? Because you try to help me, because you’re always there helping me out,” Minho frowned, and spread his arm out loosely indicating all the other children in the field. “I’m not a kid anymore Onew, I don’t need you to help me pick up firewood, or for you to sleep practically in the same bed. It’s gross,” Minho scrunched up his face, and Onew flinched, he thought Minho liked it when they slept close together, hugging slightly in the same bed. “Or all those ridiculous hugs and touches, it’s embarrassing.” Onew paled, feeling sick as Minho’s eyes continued to look at him coldly, he felt as if he was a nasty little bug that Minho was about to flatten under his heel.
“Those children laugh at me, and say even though I’m bigger than you I still can’t do anything by myself! Do you know how it feels to have them tease me, to have you help me do everything?” Onew felt smaller and smaller as Minho continued to rant, he felt as if all the blood and color was draining out of his face. Minho shook his head angrily, “Sometimes I think you think you’re my mother,” Minho rolled his eyes, “Onew, just back off okay. I can manage just fine without you. I don’t need and I certainly don’t want your help.”
“Oh,” Onew whispered, he felt like he was going to be sick, it felt as if Minho had just shot him through the heart. Minho had just ripped his heart out, and stomped on it until it was flat and broken on the ground. Onew gulped, he felt completely worthless and useless as Minho glared angrily at him, before Minho picked up his basket and stormed off leaving Onew alone. Minho’s words reverberated around his skull, making him wince as he saw Minho sit with another group of kids. Onew felt so helpless and alone, and suddenly very selfish, surely he was the worst person ever. Onew wanted to sit down and cry, he had never meant to anger Minho, he loved him so much.
Minho was his brother, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t his blood brother - he was his family. They had done everything together and now it just hurt so much that Minho was rejecting him. Onew’s head spun dizzily as he watched Minho laugh and smile with the other children, and Onew sat completely isolated. It felt so strange to see Minho so far away, not to have him laughing by his side. Onew swallowed and started to work again numbly, digging up the root vegetables in silence, constantly aware that Minho no longer wanted to be friendly to him anymore.
Later that night, it stung when Onew saw Minho moving his bedding as far away as possible. That was the final straw, the favorite part of Onew’s days were the nights - when they lay in the dark and whispered quietly to each other, the room so dark that only the whites of their eyes and teeth were semi-visible in the gloom. Those moments made the day bearable. Minho hadn’t even said a single word to him since earlier. It made Onew feel so crushed and he realized for the first time he was completely alone, with only his parents who cared for him. The one person he had thought of as his closest companion wanted nothing to do with him, and that hurt more than anything ever had.
Onew had always thought Minho enjoyed his company, that he liked spending time with him. But now, he felt as if he had been blind, that it was only him who enjoyed it and Minho hated it. It made Onew feel sick for being so selfish, and as much as he wanted to apologize for it, he thought it would make Minho angrier so he left him alone, even though that made him feel even sadder.
◦○●♥●○◦
It was a time for making contacts and business deals as much as it was a time to enjoy a nice evening, and Seohyun had already secured two more potential clients for her mother’s elaborate clothing line. She was taking a well deserved break and doing what she enjoyed best, watching people, when Jinki approached Minho.
They were across the room from her so she could hardly hear what they said, but she could read the lines of their body just fine. Jinki seemed to be eager, and the moment he had made contact, Minho had stiffened, tightness taking over the lines of his shoulders. He could hardly dismiss Jinki, not when both of their fathers were important business partners, but he didn’t look entirely pleased either.
There was a moment, in which Jinki touched Minho’s arm, his touch gentle, and Minho’s eyes flicked down to the necklace that Jinki always wore. Instantly, Minho’s face softened for just a moment before his mask went back into place, slower than it had before. She hummed lightly and logged that away for later use.
“Interesting, aren’t they,” Kibum murmured as he stepped closer to her.
She smiled and sipped at her glass of champagne, “Almost as interesting as you and Jonghyun.”
Kibum smiled, “Ah, but my dear, you see what we want you to see.”
“Isn’t that how it always works,” she muttered, and took another sip, watching as her fiancé watched Minho walk away.
◦○●♥●○◦
Hye Jin smiled fondly as she watched her two sons argue in front of the hut. She was about to call them in to eat but stopped when she saw how Minho smiled down at Onew. How in a second the argument seemed to change with Minho’s smile, and the way Onew’s expression changed too. It felt wrong to interrupt them, it looked like they were having some kind of private discussion, and her smile grew wider as she watched them interact.
The way the two boys worked together as a team made her happy. She watched as Onew playfully tugged on Minho’s sleeve before he darted away, laughing loudly as Minho chased him. Hye Jin cocked her head to the side, smiling as she watched Minho dump an empty basket over Onew’s head, before he pulled him in for a hug. Hye Jin felt so happy and proud that both the boys had grown up so well, and she shook her head, wondering how they always seemed to communicate with just a few glances.
So many times she had seen them sharing glances, and then one or both would start laughing, yet she had heard neither of them say a word. Putting the basket down, she stepped out to walk across to them, only stopping when she saw Minho reach across to touch Onew’s sun-kissed brown hair, slender fingers tugging on his hair to pull a leaf out. The way Minho lingered, his fingers staying in Onew’s hair for a second too long, made Hye Jin frown, something felt off to her.
She scrutinized the boys, trying to work out what had changed, because she could sense something was different, there was a little niggle in the back of her mind as she watched them. Watching them, made her feel as if she had stumbled across a window into a world where Onew and Minho were the only people who existed, it felt as if nothing could disturb them. Hye Jin smiled again, feeling proud that they were her sons, trying to ignore the sensation that she was missing something.
Part II