penis talk

[karebear82]

Im not sure anyone will really care to read this, but ive got to get it out somewhere. If you do read it, please dont start a fight with me. I dont really care what your personal choices are because they are just that, personal. This is my personal journal so Im going to write about it here

Comments

[dutin]

I'm so very proud of you for making this choice to not mutilate your newborn son!

[karebear82]

I honestly had no idea how horrifying the procedure was until now! Why is it routine?
The video honestly made me throw up. Now I can definitely say that I am proud that we decided to let him be too.

[dutin]

The other problem is that it literally is mutilation. There are permanent scars, sensitivity problems are very common, and it usually causes lots of deformities.

Did you know there isn't ever supposed to be any hair on the shaft of the penis even at the very base? If there is, it's cause the man was circumcised and they took too much off. Which is the most common problem. Causes bending of the penis which is sometimes so bent, penile penetration of any kind is impossible.

I started reading up on the problems associated with it a while ago. It's scary shit, and I like my penis, but I wish it hadn't been mutilated for no reason at birth.

[opalnipotent]

My son is uncircumcised as well. He's 5 and a half, and his foreskin has still never been retracted. He's never had any problem whatsoever. Not one. Ever. His Doc tells us his foreskin will naturally retract on its own by the time he's anywhere from 7 - 13 years old. Until then, she's told us very firmly to leave it the hell alone. So we always have. With no problems

[opalnipotent]

Oh, and I was *amazed* at how many people wanted to not only ask me about my son's penis, but argue with me about it as well. What the fucking hell dude? That's just *bizarre*, and I would tell them pretty much that. "Your desire to know about my son's penis is bizarre. I'm not talking to you about this".

With friends, it was different. I would tell them what I thought (practice is barbaric, no way am I mutilating my son, etc), and that caused so many fights.

And yeah, we got the same thing with hospital personnel. I told them off several times as well. I'm too confrontational for my own good, often.

It really is very surprising how many people want to talk to you about your baby, and your parenting choices.

[karebear82]

I started crying when I saw the poor baby being strapped down. The screaming is what really got to me. How can they tell people the babies dont feel it?!

I was ready for the weirdness from my family, but I otally was not expecting it from one of my obs! We also have 1 old dctor at our ped practice who said we should retract his foreskin...he was awfully surprised when I damn near slapped his hand away. Of course he also advised letting the baby cry it out and that 3 months was plenty long enough to exclusively breast feed. ugh.

I think my main problem is how many people just dont know and go along with it because its just what you do. I think if more people saw videos or knew what really went on it might not be so popular. Im just happy that Im not learning all of this after it is too late for my peanut!
(sorry for the one handed typing, baby is sitting on my lap trying his hardest to get the cat's tail in his mouth. babies are weird!)

[karebear82]

I wanted to add that I dont think you can be too confrontational when it comes to your kiddos. The pressures we get from society and doctors is amazing and if you dont fight for them, who will?

[opalnipotent]

This is true. We are their advocate.

THREE MONTHS?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Even the APA recommends five months before introducing anything else (and a year of breast feeding), and they're damned conservative. Did this Doc go to school in like 1960? Geeze.

Things really are changing - at least in certain demographics. The more educated a person, the more likely they are to breast feed, and do so for longer, and the less likely they are to circumcise. One day maybe things will change on a larger scale.

Also. Babies are awesome. So. Completely. Awesome. :D

[good1zrtaken]

good for you! unfortunatly, i did have my first son circumsized due to the advice of my then-husband and the doctors. i regretted it immediately and, even though he will never confront me about it, i still feel cruel for having allowed it. i almost attacked the nurse who took the bandage off of him before we left when i heard his screams. i couldn't believe what i had done to the innocent little babe. i don't use my ignorance as an excuse, but that is exactly what it was.
i did not have my second son circumsized and would never do that again to any future children.
and i'm totally with you on how messed up it is that the default for the hospital is to NOT do it and not the other way around.
just tell anyone who gives you guff about it to mind their own business. you know you did the right thing. best wishes to you and your family.

[karebear82]

I am positive that you are not alone in being pressured into going with it, and you shouldnt beat yourself up for doing something that your doctor told you to do, were supposed to trust our doctors! Unless you really look into it its also just something that seems like you should do because it just is, so dont beat yourself up over it

[good1zrtaken]

thanks for that. and sorry about all the screw ups in my comment. at least you were able to understand what i was trying to say. i tend to make mistakes when i get in an uproar and try to type too quickly.

i agree with you. funny how most people rally against female circumcision, but no thought is given whatsoever to the males. (and i know there are major differences in procedure, etc. but i still think it's horrible)
this is just a commonplace thing. it is crazy.

[heavyonmymind]

I was shocked at the number of people that asked if we were going to have Jack circumcised - I never imagined that there would be that much interest in his penis! The APA recommends against routine circumcision, which is what we told all of our nosy relatives (besides that there's no need for it and we didn't want to). It seemed to shut them up without starting any fights.

I'm not even going to attempt watching the video - I would lose it!

[karebear82]

My freakin OB (well not mine, but one in his practice that I had to see for an appt once) asked me if we were planning on having him circumcised, and when I said no his response was "and why not?" When I said I didnt see why it was necessary, and that it wasnt my body to remove parts from he gave me a big load of crap about how Im the baby's mother, and I should think about making good decisions for him. I was so so mad when I left, and he is lucky Chris wasnt there for that appointment because I really think Chris would have hit him

[opalnipotent]

"And why not" was responded to, when asked of me, several time, with "Because we're not Jewish". It really shut people up. I have no idea why.

[heavyonmymind]

I'm really lucky with the staff at Magee. Everyone was really respectful of our decisions in regards to circumcision, vaccines, rooming in, breastfeeding, etc. I also lucked out and found an amazing pediatrician that thoroughly encourages our parenting choices. I can't imagine how I would have done had the ped., my OB and the nurses not been as supportive.

I sometimes feel a bit hypocritical now though, because if someone I was close to mentioned they were going to circumcise their boy I would probably end up asking them if they really knew what they were doing. I know it is a personal choice, but it makes me so sad to think of how many people do it just because they think thats what youre supposed to do.

I feel like I'll probably do the same thing. I've already become that way about breastfeeding, even if I'm not that close to the person.