I don't think I've missed anyone this much in my whole entire life.

i jogged a half marathon today!!! it was amazing. i didn't really plan on it, but i felt strong and i felt like all i had to do was jog about a mile and a half past sunrise and then turn around and jog back home. i saw beautiful deer who were really close to me and looked so peaceful. i saw a jack rabbit. i saw three wild turkey wandering through ( Read more... )

i feel so dumb. i never did everything i should have done. i was so stressed and focused on things but it's still not enough. it's not enough because i'm just not adequate. i just don't have what it takes. i'm stupid and naive and it's just too late i guess. i'm being dumb just writing this. so i won't write.

i am tired.
i can't remember the last day i just sat and did absolutely nothing.
i'm really really tired and don't have enough energy for anything.

there are intense chills in my brain and they're making it heavy. 

i went for a jog today. it was too hot in the room and too pretty outside and i felt like i was losing touch with the skin on my thighs. it felt like if i were to touch it, i wouldn't feel like it was mine. i had to move and reclaim my legs, so i went and the sun was beating down on my shoulders and the wind sometimes blew through my hair and the ( Read more... )

i went to target to buy gifts but it wasn't enough and i was taking too long. they all left without me and i was left there, awkwardly following a couple with their two children, taking everything they picked up so i could check them out. what i didn't realize was that i didn't know how to check them out. i guess i could try. but i lost them ( Read more... )

 outside it's rather cold and the trees are slightly swaying. i walked out a while ago to take pictures and went in shortly thereafter because of the cold breeze and my deficiency of dress and i was outside looking in the distance and the sky was slightly cloudy but still bearing a tint of blue and the trees kept swaying in the distance against the ( Read more... )

 i had a dream about fighting some mean girl i knew from high school. i was winning, but i kind of just wanted to let go when she started screaming. i guess all i really wanted to do was prove that i was stronger ( Read more... )

 fucking global warming. i might as well wear a t shirt and shorts and walk outside at 7 in the morning. i won't be cold or anything, because it's so fucking hot. and it might be beautiful outside. it's beautiful. the yellow, red, and orange leaves and the way i watch them fall. but the weather is off somewhat. or, it was last night, as i got that ( Read more... )