Comments | kannagara_rpg: [log | week 1 day 5] now die, for the debt you have accrued

a_for_tiori in kannagara_rpg

[log | week 1 day 5] now die, for the debt you have accrued

Feb 14, 2010 17:45

Who: Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi
Status: Active and Closed
Style: Paragraph
Where: Hisato - Kakashi's place
When: Week 1, Day 5, evening/night
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Burnsauce

( いざ、倒れ逝くその時まで )

event: valentine's day, *dropped, *closed, !log, location: hisato, uchiha sasuke, hatake kakashi

Comments 8

ura_no_ura February 15 2010, 06:33:08 UTC

A thing like that can be dangerous ( ... )

a_for_tiori February 19 2010, 06:37:48 UTC

This is a familiar feeling for Sasuke as well. One that is almost addicting, because giving in to it is such an easy thing. Sasuke is caught in the rapids and tired of fighting for the surface. Of struggling to keep his head above water when all he gets for his effort is the right to breathe stale air and live under an empty sky for another few years. Kakashi told him once that his anger would consume him. That he had seen it happen before, people who had their lives swept up in that current and washed up on the shore with nothing left.

But it's not much, this life. Numbness and pointlessness and fucking lies. He has nothing of value to give up.

And Kakashi - Kakashi, Kakashi, damn him - isn't his and can never, never, never be his. Nothing can ever be his. He is the same as he's always been. Too weak to hold on to anything. Too weak to keep anyone for himself. Mother, Father, his comrades, Itachi. All of them go away. And he tried, he tried so hard, he struggled and fought and clawed for every piece of them he could get, tried ( ... )

ura_no_ura February 24 2010, 07:41:58 UTC

Kakashi doesn't say hello, because Sasuke's looking at him with eyes that want to cut him down. And he recognizes too well, the kind of intent darkening Sasuke's gaze and chakra, filling it with a tide of something dark and violent and feels like hands ripping down his chest and plunging through his heart. There's a wildness in Sasuke's eyes that Kakashi knows too well, it's the kind of look that enters the eyes when a red-hot frenzy surges up and fills lungs with too much burning until the stench of blood fills the air. Until it is all you can breathe and taste and feel: the hot, wet stickiness of it clinging to everything. No amount of water can scrub off that feeling ( ... )

a_for_tiori February 28 2010, 03:56:35 UTC

What's wrong. What's wrong.

"You think something's wrong?" Sasuke's voice is quiet and thrumming with something cold and vicious. He has to clench his fists to keep himself steady against the waves of anger. He feels like a cage, holding against something toothy and desperate struggling inside.

"Because I came here like this, right. And I shouldn't have. I shouldn't come here angry with you, because you and I are allies. We're on the same side. You're my teacher, and I'm you're student, right."

"And so this -" whatever this is, whatever Sasuke came here for - "is wrong, because I'm of no use to you like this. This anger you keep wanting me to let go. That's an inconvenience for you. So you stand there and you ask me what's wrong. You give my that fucking look because you think I might kill you -" might, will, should, maybe I will, Kakashi. Maybe I will kill you for this, because you deserve to die, for doing this to me, for the absolute immutable fact that you won't have me, that I can't have what I want, that you would deny me ( ... )

a_for_tiori February 28 2010, 03:57:00 UTC

... oh god what the fuck did I just -

He didn't mean to say that.

He didn't say that. No, he didn't. He didn't mean to. He takes it back, it's not - he didn't - he shouldn't have. Oh, he did not want to say that. It wasn't even close to what he wanted to say. He didn't say that. He wouldn't say that, is the thing, and therefore didn't say that. That is just a fact. That is simple logic. He is Uchiha Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke wouldn't say that. Ergo he didn't fucking say it.

Now you really have to kill him. No. No, that's - he -

He just doesn't - that's not what he meant. I can explain. But he can't. He can't explain anything. He can't even think - like the current he was being rushed away with was suddenly yanked away and he goes pitching forward on dry land and everything is still spinning around him and he Just. Can't. Fucking believe he just said that ( ... )