[Log] [Week 15, Day 6] Oh, you will never know I was here
Who: Matt, and anyone who's chasing after him <3
Status: Openish
Style: Third, Past
Where: Leaving Yomisato, heading towards Kazesato
When: Early morning, Week 15, Day 6
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: At least language, I assume.
Summary: Matt thinks it would be better for everyone if he were just gone.
Another dream, Matt had had worse, lately, but thank god, gods, whatever, those weren't shown over the network like he knew this one had been. He could only grab a few hours of sleep at once, lately, before the nightmares woke him. Ironically, he thought this was the most sleep he'd gotten since his second death.
But.
Dreams that showed him the truth, the ways he'd failed everyone, and if they didn't say it, it was only because they were too nice. The feeling had been building in him since he woke again in Himorogi, gathering weight until it was a stone in his heart.
He had to leave. Had to go walkabout (his most immediate mental reference for this wasn't aborigines but Babylon 5), and let them all not have to deal with him for a little while. He sucked at interacting with people, he'd always known it. They didn't need to suffer for Matt's failings, Mello and J and Elfangor and Marco. They deserved better.
So after he woke up and crammed the Hitomi into his back pocket, he slipped out of the bed, and headed for the wilderness around Yomisato. A cave, he thought. He'd find a cave and hole up there, and figure out what the fuck he was supposed to do.
It turned out to be pretty easy to find one, on the way to Kazesato, and words drifted through Matt's mind, pueblo, adobe, ute, that was in every crossword puzzle, hah. He gathered up some kindling and started to build a fire. Maybe he should've put on his vest, huh? Pretty cold out here.
Status: Openish
Style: Third, Past
Where: Leaving Yomisato, heading towards Kazesato
When: Early morning, Week 15, Day 6
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: At least language, I assume.
Summary: Matt thinks it would be better for everyone if he were just gone.
Another dream, Matt had had worse, lately, but thank god, gods, whatever, those weren't shown over the network like he knew this one had been. He could only grab a few hours of sleep at once, lately, before the nightmares woke him. Ironically, he thought this was the most sleep he'd gotten since his second death.
But.
Dreams that showed him the truth, the ways he'd failed everyone, and if they didn't say it, it was only because they were too nice. The feeling had been building in him since he woke again in Himorogi, gathering weight until it was a stone in his heart.
He had to leave. Had to go walkabout (his most immediate mental reference for this wasn't aborigines but Babylon 5), and let them all not have to deal with him for a little while. He sucked at interacting with people, he'd always known it. They didn't need to suffer for Matt's failings, Mello and J and Elfangor and Marco. They deserved better.
So after he woke up and crammed the Hitomi into his back pocket, he slipped out of the bed, and headed for the wilderness around Yomisato. A cave, he thought. He'd find a cave and hole up there, and figure out what the fuck he was supposed to do.
It turned out to be pretty easy to find one, on the way to Kazesato, and words drifted through Matt's mind, pueblo, adobe, ute, that was in every crossword puzzle, hah. He gathered up some kindling and started to build a fire. Maybe he should've put on his vest, huh? Pretty cold out here.